Burn It Down

We made it to the motel in record time. It really was a shitty little place. Overall it looked like it probably hadn't been thoroughly cleaned in about twenty years. Brian and I hurried to the room number Zack had given me to find the door hanging wide open. We entered cautiously, both of us a little unsure about what we were walking into.

Zack was sitting in a rundown chair in the corner of the room, looking pale and like he'd been crying. Brian rushed to him and I hung back slightly, wanting to let them have their moment. They embraced and I could hear both of them crying quietly as they did so.

"What the fuck were you thinking, huh?" Brian asked him, and I couldn't totally hear Zack's response. They pulled apart, Brian's hand never leaving Zack's shoulder.

"Emma," Zack said in a quiet voice, looking at me with sad eyes. "I can't believe you came," he said, moving from under Brian's hand. He approached me and the closer he got, the less sad he looked. He took me in his arms and squeezed me tight. I squeezed right back, never wanting to let him go. "Thank you," he whispered into my hair, and I could feel him kiss the top of my head.

"Top of the head? C'mon," I whispered, echoing his words from the last time I'd seen him. When I looked at him he was smiling just slightly and it made my heart do a flip in my chest. He leaned in to kiss me and when our lips met, the feeling wasn't able to be described in any other way than me feeling home. He hugged me again when we parted, holding me like he might be afraid I was going to leave.

"Are you okay?" I asked him when our moment was over, looking him over and taking in his appearance detail by detail.

"Yeah... I mostly just sat in this room and drank myself stupid, honestly. I don't totally know why I left the ward. I don't know why I didn't call the guys. My mind is totally fuzzy on it. I know at the time I thought I was doing the right thing for myself but obviously I wasn't. I was scared," he told me, looking over my shoulder at Brian.

"Scared of what?" Brian asked, walking over to us.

"Scared you guys would be ashamed of me for leaving the ward, I guess. Scared I was an embarrassment. I don't know. Not a lot of the thoughts I've had in the past few days make sense now," Zack admitted, not making eye contact with Brian.

"Idiot," Brian mumbled, shaking his head. "We'd never be ashamed of you. We were fuckin' worried sick about you," he told Zack, and I watched as Zack looked up at his friend.

"I'm sorry," he told both of us.

"You better be," Brian and I said at the same time, making all three of us chuckle.

"Let's get you home, dumbass," Brian said to Zack, putting his hand back on his shoulder and leading us out of the room.

We made the drive to Zack's house and once there Brian left us, making us promise that we'd call him if either of us needed anything.

"I still can't believe you actually came," Zack said to me after he'd taken a shower and changed out of the clothes he'd been wearing for days straight.

"Why?" I asked him, plopping down on his couch beside him.

"I didn't think I was worth it, I guess," he told me quietly, his head down. I stuck a finger under his chin and gently moved it up so that he was looking at me.

"You're so ridiculously worth it. In fact, I think you've somehow conned me into loving you," I told him, hoping he'd smile. He did. His eyes lit up as he processed the words I'd just said.

"You love me?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"Duh. Why else would I try so hard to make sure you were okay?" I asked, and he shrugged slightly.

"You love me," he said again quietly, smiling a smile that was so bright it could've lit even the darkest room brighter than the sun.

"You know, when a girl that you seem pretty keen on tells you she loves you, the customary response is usually..." I trailed off, moving my hand in a circular motion, telling him to catch on.

"Oh! Of course I love you too, Em. Of course! I can't even believe how much I love you!" he told me, his voice more excited than I'd ever heard it.

"I'm glad you're okay," I whispered, cuddling into his shoulder.

"I will be," he told me, leaning his head down onto my shoulder. "Thank you for rescuing me," he whispered, kissing my forehead.

"Anytime, princess," I told him, making us both chuckle.

In that moment, I wasn't sure what was going to happen next; whether one or both of us were going to go back to the ward, what the hell my parents were going to say when they found out I'd left... the list of things I didn't know went on for miles. But the one thing I did know was how incredibly happy I was sitting there with him. In that moment sitting on his couch, none of the other stuff mattered. All that mattered was that we were both there and we were both at least some form of okay. As I looked at him while we sat there that day, I couldn't believe how ridiculously lucky I'd gotten to have met him. He really did make everything feel like it would be okay, even if we weren't sure how yet.

I kissed him again before burying my head in his chest. I didn't know what tomorrow was going to bring; all I knew was that in that moment, we were safe and we were okay and we were happy.