Burn It Down

That became our nightly ritual. Every night after lights out, he'd show up at my door. We were lucky that our particular ward didn't have a ridiculous amount of security, or else we probably both would have gotten busted right away. Sometimes he stayed for ten minutes, sometimes he stayed for three hours, but he always came and we always talked. Sometimes we talked about real pressing stuff like our internal issues and feelings, and sometimes it was just get-to-know-you type stuff.

A few weeks later, I felt like he knew me better than anyone else in my life. It wasn't necessarily because he knew more about me; it was mostly just because he was the best listener I'd ever met. He always listened to every word I said with intensity, never interrupting or acting like he was bored, even if he maybe was. I'd never had anyone seem so genuinely interested in what I had to say.

I also loved hearing him talk. He'd packed so much into a life that seemed so short when I thought about it. It turned out I'd actually heard of and liked his band and I'd actually heard about it when his best friend had died; I just hadn't put it together upon meeting him. He was just so interesting. He'd been so many places and knew so much and I was jealous. He was the first person I'd met in a long time that I actually genuinely enjoyed spending time with.



"You're weird," he said to me one night, catching me off-guard

"You're weird," he said to me one night, catching me off-guard.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah."

"Explain?"

"You make me feel alive again," he whispered, leaning across my bed to rest his head on my shoulder. It was the first physical contact we'd had since the first night when I'd put my hand on his shoulder and I reveled in it.

"I'm glad you've given me the honor to be able to make you feel that way," I said, leaning my head on top of his. He heaved a small contented sigh and leaned heavier into me.

"Thank you," he whispered, and I nodded slightly in reply.



The next thing I knew, I was hearing my door open and someone was saying my name

The next thing I knew, I was hearing my door open and someone was saying my name. A light came on, making my already heavy eyes fall shut again.

"Emma. Zack," a voice said again, and I was finally able to force my eyes open. My nurse, Greta, was standing in the doorway, hands on hips. She was looking at us like she'd just eaten something sour. After a moment, my mind finally started to work and I realized we'd fallen asleep in my bed together.

"Fuck," I mumbled, looking over at Zack. He looked like he was still mostly asleep. He was attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes but it didn't seem to be working.

"I think you both know that there's strictly no 'sleepovers' here," Greta said, looking like a disappointed mom. She used air quotes around the "sleepovers" and it almost made me laugh, but I was able to reel it in at the last second.

"I... we didn't mean to," I said, but it didn't soften her at all.

"You'll both have to meet with your respective doctors about it in the morning. Usually rule breaking isn't taken lightly," Greta said, and I couldn't help but scoff.

"'Isn't taken lightly'? Are they gonna ground us?" I asked sarcastically, and Greta gave me a severe look.

"Rule breaking is sometimes grounds for termination from the program," she said, and I got serious quickly.

"We're sorry," Zack said, shooting me a look that I couldn't quite read.

"Very sorry," I agreed, looking between him and Greta.

"I don't make the rules, loves. If I did, I'd deserve quite a pay raise," Greta said kindly, and I could tell then that she wasn't actually as mad at us as she'd seemed before.

She ushered Zack out of the room and I desperately wished he'd look back at me as he went, but he didn't. I watched them walk down the hall and then disappear around the corner.

As I lay back down in my bed, all I could think about was how much I'd loved hearing him tell me I made him feel alive and how much I seriously wished I'd have kissed him.

"Idiot," I whispered to myself as I lay back down in bed, his crystal green eyes the only thing on my mind.