Burn It Down

It was a while before I saw him again after that. I wasn't sure if it was because we'd both gotten a "strike" the other night or something worse. Of course my mind jumped to the conclusion that it had to be something worse. I asked around about him, but we technically weren't supposed to go into the opposite gender's wing of the ward, so no one would tell me anything about where he was.

Finally, I asked my doctor specifically if he was alright, and I'm guessing because of how concerned I was, she called his doctor. She was on the phone for a few minutes, not really saying anything specific because I was still there. They spoke and she hung up, looking back at me severely.

"He's alright, Emma," she said, but something in her tone made me uncomfortable.

"Is he really?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, that's all I can say," she told me, even though she looked like she wished it wasn't. 

After I left her office, I started trying to think of ways to track him down. I hadn't liked the way she'd looked at me when she'd gotten off the phone and I was worried about him. Considering where we were and all the things he'd had to deal with, it wasn't exactly a stretch that he might be having some problems. I wished I had some sort of access to his friends' phone numbers. They probably knew. I didn't even know where to start looking for his room. I wasn't even sure how he'd found mine that first night or how he'd managed to get past the night nurses to get to there all of those nights.

That night, I tried my best to devise a plan. Quite honestly, I had nothing. The only thing I could think of was to go to the night nurse, Stella, and beg her to tell me where to find him. I knew it wasn't likely to work, but it was the only thing I could come up with. The only glimmer of hope I had was that Stella did seem to be the nicest nurse we had.

I left my room quietly, making my way to the nurses' station as quickly as I could. The last thing I wanted was another patient to hear me in the hallway and make a big deal out of it.

Stella smiled when she saw me coming, placing the book she'd been reading face-down on the desk to speak with me.

"Miss Emma. How can I help you tonight, dear?" she asked sweetly and I took a deep breath.

"I need to know where another patient's room is," I told her and her expression instantly changed.

"You know I can't do that, dear," she told me, glancing at her computer screen.

"Can you just tell me his... status then?" I asked her, and she looked around quickly, probably checking to see if anyone was around.

"I suppose you're talking about your friend Zack?" she asked, and I wondered how she knew about us. I must've given her a funny look because she smiled. "What wonderful eyes that sweet one has," she said, winking at me. I guess that's how he'd gotten past the night nurses. I smiled to myself at the thought of him charming her into letting him in.

She typed something into her computer, waited a few moments, scrolled a little bit, and then sighed lightly.

"What is it?" I asked, and she looked at me quietly. 

"He seems to have had an... incident," she told me, and I found myself shaking my head instantly.

"And 'incident'? Not an 'incident' like the one that got me in here?" I asked, shocked. I knew he was sad and, quite honestly, pretty fucked up, but he'd never mentioned anything about wanting to die.

"Oh. No, no, no, dear. Nothing like that. He seems to have gotten into a physical altercation with another patient," she said, reading off of her screen.

"A... 'physical altercation'?" I asked, and she nodded solemnly.

"Yes, dear."

"Stella, listen-," I started, but she cut me off.

"624. You're not to stay for more than a moment and if you're caught, I had nothing to do with it," she told me, winking again. She really was the nicest nurse.

"Thank you so much," I told her, and she nodded.

"Just for a moment!" she called quietly as I set off down the hall.

I finally found the room a while later, and I hesitated outside for a long time before going in. Obviously Stella hadn't given me too many details about what had happened and I wasn't sure what I was walking into. I cracked the door and saw him at once. His wrists and ankles were in restraints and he looked like he hadn't slept in days. He had a black eye and bruising around his nose that told me it was probably broken. Deep circles surrounded his eyes and his skin was ridiculously pale. His eyes were dull and sad and they didn't focus on me at first when I walked in and shut the door quietly behind me. When they did, they grew wide.