All I Have to Give

“Melanie! Melanie! Hey wake up!” I could hear Zacky’s voice, but it seemed like it was far away. He sounded distressed, what’s wrong with him?

“I called 911!”
“Is she okay?”
“Open your eyes, Melanie!”
“Oh God did I kill her?”

I heard all these voices, but they didn’t seem real. I couldn’t focus on any of them.

“Come on, Mellie. Open your eyes.” Zacky again. I wanted to tell him to calm down, but I couldn’t make any words come out. Why? I tried to look at him, but I couldn’t force my eyes open.

“Zack,” I finally managed to force out and I heard him sigh.

“You scared me so fucking bad,” he breathed.

I opened my eyes slowly and blinked a few times before looking around. Zacky was sitting in the middle of the road with his legs stretched out in front him and I was on his lap. We were next to my car...holy shit was that my car? The whole side of it was twisted metal and there was shattered glass everywhere. Jimmy, Matt, and Brian were looking down at us.

“What happened?” I asked, but before he could answer a the sound of a shrill siren filled the air. An ambulance pulled up next to us and two paramedics jumped out. One of them grabbed a bag and they came in my direction.

“Hey sweetheart can you tell me what day it is?” one of them asked as he crouched down in front of me.

“May sixteenth,” I mumbled.

“Great and can you tell me what happened?”

I just shook my head, I couldn’t remember. A man I had never seen before stepped forward. “She ran the stop sign. I tried to stop, but there wasn’t enough time.”

“We need to get you to the hospital to be checked out,” the paramedic said when he turned back to me.

The second one made his way back over with a stretcher and they both helped me onto it.

“Can he come with me?” I asked and pointed at Zacky.

“Yes, your boyfriend can come.”

I didn’t have the energy to correct him so I just let my head fall back against the pillow and closed my eyes. They loaded me into the back of the ambulance and directed Zacky to sit on a bench seat on my right side. One of the medics climbed into the driver’s seat and the other settled into a seat above my head. He asked me a bunch of questions so he could fill out the necessary paperwork.

Zacky reached out and grabbed my hand when the paperwork was done. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

“Of course I am. You couldn’t be so lucky to get rid of me that easily,” I joked. His lips formed into a small smile and he reached over with his other hand to push the hair that had fallen over my face behind my ear.

“How were you even there? I mean, how did you know what happened?”

“We heard the crash from inside Brian’s house. I had a really bad feeling about it so we all hopped in Matt’s truck and went to find it. When I saw it was your car…” He stopped talking and I squeezed his hand. I could imagine how he felt because I’d be the same way if something happened to him.

“None of that matters now, I’m here and I’m okay.”

We finally made it to the hospital and they lowered me out of the ambulance and pushed the stretcher inside. They pushed me up next to a hospital bed and the two paramedics and a couple of nurses transferred me to the bed. I thanked the medics as they left and endured everything the nurses did to check me out. When they were finished, they told us a doctor would be here soon and let Zacky back in the room as they left.

“Good afternoon, I’m Doctor Williams,” the doctor said as he came into the room a few minutes later. He shook both mine and Zacky’s hands. “None of your injuries are too serious. You have a few bruises ribs that will be sore for a while. The cuts on your arms from the glass are superficial so nothing to worry about there. The only thing that concerns me is the gash on your head. I’d like to keep you overnight just to keep an eye on it. I’ll send a nurse here in a bit to get you situated in a room.” With that he gave a quick wave and left the room.

“I just want to go home,” I whined.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll stay with you if you want,” Zacky offered.

“That’d be great. Hospitals creep me out and I really don’t want to be here alone.”

-x-

Two hours later, I was finally settled in a room. Zacky had just left to go get some clothes for both of us. I don’t know what I would do without him. He was always there for me when I needed him.

“Dinner is served,” one of my nurses, Jennifer, said as she walked in with a tray of food.

I took one look at it and grabbed my phone to send a text to Zacky. “Bring food, this food they brought looks disgusting”

I must have fallen asleep before Zacky got back because the next thing I knew I was being gently shaken awake by a nurse.

“I just need to check you over so I can go get your discharge papers,” she said quietly.

I nodded and she lifted my shirt to check the massive bruise on my ribs. Next, she peeled the bandage off my forehead  and put on a new one. She explained that it would need to be changed once a day.

“You’ve got such a good boyfriend to stay here with you like this,” she whispered, gesturing towards where Zacky was sleeping in a chair.

“Oh he’s not my boyfriend, he’s my best friend,” I explained.

“Hmm well he sure does care a lot about you anyway.”

I just shrugged and she assured me that she’d have the discharge papers to me as soon as possible. I decided it was time to wake Zacky up so we’d both be ready when she came back. I eased myself out of bed and groaned when I stood up. My side hurt really fucking bad where my ribs were bruised. I made my way over to him and shook him until he opened his eyes.

“What are you doing up?” he asked groggily.

“I have bruised ribs, I’m not dying.”
“You still have to take it easy,” he said. Then he got to his feet and gently pushed me back towards the bed until the back of my legs hit it and I sat down.

“The nurse thought you were my boyfriend,” I said suddenly, not quite sure why I was bringing that up.

“So did the medic yesterday.”

We both fell silent. I was wondering why all of a sudden everyone thought we were together. I know that he used to think of me that way, but surely he didn’t anymore. Besides, I had never thought of him in that way. No, that’s a lie. I used to have a huge crush on him when we first met. Then we became such good friends that I never wanted to screw that up. So I buried my feelings and forgot about them.

“Can I ask you something?” Zacky suddenly asked, pulling me from my reverie.

“Sure.”

“Have you ever thought of me like that? Even for a little while? I mean, I did tell you how I felt before so it’s a fair question. Not that you have to answer it if you don’t want to because you don’t.” Could he fucking read my mind or something?

“You’re rambling,” I pointed out then busied myself with gathering up my things and packing them into my bag. I didn’t want to answer.

“And you’re avoiding the question,” he said.

I sighed and dropped my hands into my lap. “Yes, Z, I did. When we first met, but then we became friends and saying anything about it would have just hurt our friendship.”

“So you just got over it?” he asked with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“I buried the feelings and told myself it would never happen. So yeah I guess I just got over it.”

“Hmm maybe you didn’t. Maybe those feelings are still there and all it takes is one little thing to bring them back to the surface,” he said quietly as he scooted closer to me on the bed. He reached out and grabbed my wrist then slowly slid his hand up my arm to my shoulder then up higher until it was against my cheek. “You don’t feel anything when I touch you?”

“Where did this come from all of a sudden?” I asked nervously.

“You could have died today, Melanie. Bad things can happen so suddenly. I need to do this before I end up with a shit ton of regrets later on,” Zacky said.

He tilted my head slightly and leaned in close enough I could feel his breath on my face. I should look away or stop him before he does something stupid like kiss me, but why? Was this such a bad idea?

My heart was pounding hard in my chest as he moved again, this time to kiss me. I could have melted against him and lost myself in that kiss, but I didn’t. Even though it felt good, I put my hands against his chest and pushed him away quickly.

“This can't happen. I'm still in a bad place after your dipshit friend and I'm just not ready for something like this,” I said quickly.

“I can work with that. Whenever you’re ready, I’m here if you want me.” The nurse chose that moment to come back into the room with the discharge papers. I need time to think about all that had been said in the past few minutes.

“We’ll talk about this later,” I murmured to Zacky before turning to the nurse so she could go over the discharge papers with me.

I signed what she needed me to sign then took the prescription for pain meds from her. Zacky grabbed all my stuff and we made our way out of the hospital. We made a quick stop by the pharmacy to pick up my meds and I was so relieved when we finally made it back to my apartment.

~x~

Zacky opened the door for me and I stepped inside, almost falling over when I noticed there were people inside. Matt, Jimmy, and Brian were standing in my kitchen around a cake with a picture of my wrecked car it that said ‘Glad you didn’t die.’

“Who let Jimmy order the cake?” I asked which made everyone in the room laugh.

“I knew you’d like it!” Jimmy yelled, running forward to give me a gentle hug.

I loved that they had done this for me, it really meant a lot. My eyes fell on Brian, standing in the back looking awkward. I knew I couldn’t enjoy any of this until I talked to him.

“I need to talk to you, Brian,” I said, surprising every single person in the room.

He looked apprehensive at first, but once I started making my way into the next room, he followed me.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry for blowing up at you the other day. Thanks for apologizing yesterday, I forgive you.”

“Thank you,” Brian said, meeting my gaze for the first time with a smile on his face.

“Now give me a hug so we can go eat some of that cake!”

Brian laughed and gently gave me a hug. It would take some getting used to, but I knew this was a good thing. We made our way back into the living room with everyone else and Zacky immediately pulled me off to the side.

“What was that about?” he asked.

“I forgave him.” I shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

“What changed?”

“I guess the wreck changed me. Bad things happen so suddenly I don’t want to end up with a shit ton of regrets,” I purposely repeated his words from early that day and his lips formed into a smile.

He stepped forward to and pulled me into a hug, holding me for longer than necessary. I had to pull away to go save Zoey from Jimmy. He was clutching her to his chest while she kicked and thrashed around wanting to be put down.

“You’re scaring her, Jimmy!”

He pouted and sat her on the ground. She ran over to hide behind Zacky’s legs, peeking out to look at Jimmy occasionally.

“Time to eat cake!” Jimmy screamed and grabbed my hand to lead me over to the table. He pulled a chair out for me and cut off a piece of cake for me as I sat down.

There was no way I could possibly eat all of the massive piece he gave me, but I didn’t complain. I felt so lucky that all these people cared about be enough to be here.