Whiskey in the Jar

Brian slowly regained his consciousness, he felt pain on the right side of his face and moving his face muscles worsened it. His vision was blurry in his left eye but it was clear to him that Jordan was standing over his face analysing the damage. He noticed he was laying on a bed in a room that he recognised as one of Matt’s guest bedrooms so he pulled himself up and questioned Jordan.

“What happened?” His voice came out croaky so he cleared his throat and repeated his question.

“Some guy knocked you out before anyone could stop him.” Jordan shook her head and pulled that face people make when they feel sorry for someone. “It’s not bad, you’ll just have a beautiful black eye…again.”

“Well shit, I told you they were gonna gang up on me. Should have listened to the wise man, J.” He gave her an emotionless half smile to which Jordan returned a full one. She couldn’t help it, he did give her a nickname after all.

“We did not gang up on you, Bri!” Brian was shocked when he heard Val’s voice. “We completely forgot Connor was here and he just jumped out of nowhere punching you in the face.” She took a bag of ice that she was holding and put it on his face as he looked around to see where Val was hiding. She also handed him some painkillers which he gladly accepted and swallowed them immediately.

“Classic.” Was all that Brian replied as he pressed the ice to his face, hissing at the pain.

Before Jordan could ask about who Connor was, Val volunteered some information about him. “Connor was Becca’s older brother who we grew up with. That’s how Brian was introduced to Becca and ultimately got between Brian and Connor. He just never approved of you two, did he?” She looked at Brian who was shaking and nodding her head as she spoke.

“Nope, he never did. For a good reason I guess,” Brian started picking at his shirt to distract himself from the guilt that was overwhelming him “and to top it all off he’s a boxer who is trying to make it in the big league or whatever so that would explain the TKO.” He smiled to himself, feeling sort of proud that his brother in law was so talented even though he was at the receiving end. Jordan just accepted the information she received and stayed silent enjoying the fact that Brian was successfully communicating with someone else.

“How’s Connor been holding up?” Brian dared to ask. Brian knew that Connor hated him and he couldn’t possibly blame his brother in law for reacting this way.

“He’s doing better than you. That’s for sure!” Val said stroking his hair. This action was reminiscent of the early days they used to share when Avenged was just starting out and everyone was going wild partying with Val left to look after them. At this point Jordan had left the room to inspect whether it’s safe for Brian to leave the room so the pair were having an intimate moment.

“I’ve been doing better actually, Val.” Brian’s voice was quiet and his words came out slow in fear that what he was saying was wrong.

“I’m so proud of you for it, Brian.” Brian was shocked that Val would say that instead of shouting at him. Val pulled him into a hug as she sat beside him on the bed only to intensify the shock that Brian was feeling. Within seconds of feeling her skinny arms wrap around him, Brian’s eyes teared up. Val comforted him as much as she could and with the past that they shared, Brian felt no shame in letting his feelings out.

“I miss her so much and I feel so guilty for moving on. My wife is dead and I’m here alone. She’s fucking dead Val and it’s all my fault!” his words came out muffled against her neck. The desperation he felt had caused his words to come out wobbly and broken so much that Val could barely understand what he was saying. She shushed him and stroked his hair, letting him release the pain that he was feeling. Instead of fighting with him to change his mind, she tried to let him feel everything so that he himself could find his way to a better place. Although one crying session didn’t fix everything, eventually Brian calmed down and wiped the few tears that escaped his eyes.

“Please don’t tell Jordan about this.” He said to Val. He didn’t want Jordan to see him this way because he knew that she wanted him to get better so badly and she worked so hard to make sure that he was okay. But before he could explain this to Val, Jordan came bursting through the door.

“Connor left, it’s safe for you to go downstairs now.” Brian pouted his lips and raised his eyebrows at this information unsure whether he wanted to face everyone again in fear that someone else will punch him this time.

“No one’s gonna punch you, babe.” Val reassured him.

Brian sighed and got up from the bed, knowing that he was going to have to face everyone eventually. He was escorted downstairs by the two women; one who he cared for, for more than a decade and one who was quickly becoming someone who he cared for dearly. They both grabbed his hands to show that they supported him and it was evident to Brian that they cared for him just as much as he cared for them and he thought to himself that maybe after all no one really hated him.

Appearing in front of everyone for the second time didn’t make anything easier for Brian. He gripped Jordan’s hand tighter as Val had left to join her husband who was by the barbeque and did his best to control his breathing. As if it were a movie, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Brian, then averted their eyes to his hand holding Jordan’s and back to Brian’s face again. Brian thought to himself that he should let go of her hand and create some distance between them but his body disagreed and he gripped her even tighter. So much that Jordan thought her hand was going to fall off.

“Uncle Bwian!” A small child came running up to Brian and hugged him at the knees. Finally he let go of Jordan’s hand so he could pick up the child and hug him.

“Hi River, I’ve missed you.” Brian tickled Matt’s son earning endless giggles that made Brian’s heart swell with love. The child had broken the awkward spell and everyone returned back to their conversations.

“I’ve missed you too, Uncle Bwi!” River managed to say between giggles. Eventually Brian put the small child on the ground who then ran towards his friends in the play area while Brian joined two of his closest friends Zack and Johnny who were engrossed in a conversation of their own.

“I’m fucking telling you right now, Johnny, I’m gonna get laid!” Zacky grinned at Johnny.

“We both know that’s not gonna happen, right Brian?” Johnny laughed.

“Who exactly are you trying to have sexual intercourse with, Shitdick?” The pair laughed at Brian’s use of formal language. Brian appreciated the fact that they had treated him as they would before everything and that they didn’t ask how he was after Connor jumped him.

“No one”

“Jordan” Johnny and Zack said this in unison. Zack looked alarmed because he didn’t want Brian to know he liked Jordan especially after the hand holding situation but it was too late for that. Brian’s eyebrows which were raised from amusement had then declined and furrowed in annoyance. He knew the way his bandmate has treated women in the past and he wasn’t going to let that happen to Jordan because obviously she was there for him to help him.

“You mean MY Jordan?” Now Zacky’s and Johnny’s eyebrows were raised in amusement.

“Dude, I didn’t know you called dibs on her!” Zack raised his hands as if to say he will back off Jordan for Brian.

“It’s not like that, dickhead.” Brian’s voice held a lot of anger at Zacky for even thinking that he would have feelings for another woman even though he buried his wife six months ago.

“It would be okay, if you wanted to though.” Johnny said softly with Zack nodding his head next to him. Once again, Brian noticed that his friends weren’t pushing him away but vice versa. Brian took in a harsh breath and as if on instinct he reached for a beer that was in front of him. He didn’t want to develop any feelings for Jordan and even though he knew he had a connection with her he credited it to alcohol.

“And what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Jordan appeared out of nowhere with her arms crossed.

“Oh shit someone’s in trouble!” Johnny laughed.

“Shut up shortshit” Brian rolled his eyes at Johnny which earned himself a playful punch to the arm. Brian quickly swapped the beer bottle for a glass of ice water and looked up to give Jordan a mischievous smile. The sun had caused him to squint his eyes and being in this surrounding had caused him to feel like his goofy old self again.

"Stay golden, Haner!" Jordan pointed a playful finger at him and rested her left hand on her hip.

"Scout's honor." He did the scout salute as he spoke causing Jordan to laugh a little. Zack pulled a chair next to him, indicated for Jordan to sit down next to him and she happily obliged. She now sat between Zack and Brian who were having a staring contest; both silently telling each other to back off but neither one actually doing it. Jordan noticed a weird tension happening between the two as she kept glancing over at Brian but decided not to get in the middle of the two.

“So tell me a little bit about yourself, Jordan.” Zack tried to sound seductive which caused Jordan to smile. All the while Brian’s hands formed into fists and he bit his lips in annoyance.

“What would you like to know?” Jordan asked, completely ignoring Brian’s obvious discomfort.

“Hmm do you have any hobbies?”

“Does drinking till your soul goes numb count?” Jordan asked sarcastically. Brian snorted at Jordan’s reply and raised his glass of water in a form of a toast, Jordan copied him and shouted an elongated “Hollaaa” as they clinked their glasses together. Johnny laughed at their interaction, hiding the fact that he was worried about one of his best friends while Zacky was jealous he didn’t get to interact with the attractive woman the same way that Brian got to.

Zacky cleared his throat, not knowing how to carry on with the conversation and luckily for them all Val and Matt joined their table. Instantly Jordan and Val engaged in a conversation as if they were old friends which caused Brian to wonder how much Jordan really kept in contact with his friends. At this time though, he wasn't mad but instead he was happy that they were getting along so well. He felt like life was easy again, surrounded by all of his friends he didn’t feel so lonely. He didn't even crave a drink right then either which made him feel like the future was going to get better. Of course he didn't forget about Becca, he never would but he began to believe that he had to find happiness for both his and Becca’s sake. That way her death wouldn't be wasted.

Brian and his band mates began to talk about things that were normal to them; sports and music. Everyone had stayed off of topics that were serious in fear that it would trigger Brian, they didn't want to push him away but instead wanted to remind him how great it was to hang out with everyone. As Brian’s favourite activity was getting wasted he missed out on what was happening in the world so everyone took the opportunity to fill him in. The latest scores, the latest album releases and even about friends who recently got engaged or pregnant. Brian couldn't believe all the things that he missed out on but knew that if he were to witness his friends' engagements and pregnancies not only would it tear his heart into bits and make him miss Becca more and more but it would ruin other people’s happiness.

Before leaving Matt’s house, Brian made sure to see everyone else at the house to say hello and make small talk leaving Jordan alone with Matt and Val.

“I’m so happy you got him to come over!” Val hugged Jordan really tight making giving Jordan whiplash. Once they parted, Matt clapped her lightly on the shoulder feeling awkward about the situation especially about all the times he was mean to her.

“You guys should come over too you know. He won’t admit it but the silence in the house makes him sadder.” The couple in front of Jordan frowned but nodded their heads insinuating that they would visit at some point.

“Just carry on what you’re doing, Jordan.” Matt praised Jordan making her blush.

“All he needed is someone to remind him that it’s okay to move on.”

“Well keep reminding him.” Matt said shortly causing Val to frown at him. Jordan and Matt haven’t clicked the way she did with his wife and no matter how much Matt tried to get along with Jordan, so far it hasn’t worked and Jordan just didn’t know how to change the dynamics of their relationship. Just as an awkward silence was going to embark on the three people standing in the big garden, Brian came over with a wide smile on his face saving everyone from the awkwardness.

“Can’t believe all these things have been happening” Brian rested his hands on his hips and shook his head. “It’s actually made me tired. Talking to everyone. Damn.” Everyone laughed at Brian when he yawned, enjoying having their best friend back.

After saying their goodbyes and driving home in the night, Brian realised how much he missed his friends. He glanced over at Jordan who was engrossed by her iPhone and thought that he should thank her the day. After a few attempts of trying to come up with some words in his head, he decided instead to turn the radio on to the station that she picked on the way to Matt’s. Jordan’s head shot up when she heard rap music blaring through the speakers of Brian’s old car. Silently the pair exchanged smiles and eye contact causing Jordan to smile wider to herself. She got Brian’s message loud and clear and she was so happy to know that she was getting through to him. For the rest of the journey Jordan couldn’t fight the smile on her face as she enjoyed the loud music with the wind blowing her long bob everywhere. Every now and then Brian would look at her discreetly noticing little details about her like the thickness of her hair, how wide her smile is and her voice when she sings along to the music.

Everything that day felt refreshing to him, shaving his beard and cutting his hair, hanging out with the people he loves, driving and breathing fresh air. Playing the piano and hearing music that his hands created made him ache for more. That day for him was addicting and he wanted more of it. He felt tired of mourning and being sad all the time, he felt the happiness creeping into his body and he couldn’t wait to enjoy life again.

When the pair got back to Brian’s house, they both plopped down onto the big white couch enjoying the silence. After a while, Jordan thought of a perfect way to end the day.

“I’ve got a reward for you!” Brian raised his eyebrows and tilted his head back.

“Well if I knew getting sober involves rewards…”

“It’s only a one-time thing so don’t get excited” she laughed and rolled her at him before disappearing to her room upstairs. Brian sat alone trying to guess what she could possibly reward him but ultimately came up with nothing. Soon enough she came running down the stairs jumping back onto the couch holding a small with rolled up joints.

“You got me weed?”

“Oh hell yeah!” Jordan moved her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

“But can I with all the drinking shit?!” Brian looked at her shocked that she would do this when he just stopped drinking.

“Yeah! Don’t worry, you can totally have these and not relapse. Promise!” She said excitedly shaking the bag of goodies “As long as you don’t start doing these everyday then everything will be fine. And I’m here to make sure you won’t. So let’s enjoy!”

“Fuck yeah! Let’s do this!” Instantly they lit up the joint and passed it between each other occasionally coughing at the intensity of the joint. Soon enough they felt the high hit them like a brick in the face, Jordan started giggling uncontrollably filling in the silence in the house. Brian followed seconds after and the pair were sprawled on the couch laughing at nothing.

“Are you high?” Jordan asked mid giggle.

“Me? Never!” Brian replied making her giggle even more.

After managing their giggles Brian moved to the sound system where he played ‘Bust a Move’ by Young MC as loud as the speakers allowed him to. He began to wave his arms performing small dances and rapping along to the song completely out of time. Jordan watched him laughing her head off but decided to join him so the two of them were dancing and rapping to the old song completely higher than kites. They began to venture out by jumping on the couches and running around the house like little kids, continuously laughing. They played games like hide and seek and tag as if they were little kids completely ignoring how late it was. But the more they laughed and ran around the house, the more they got tired.

“Let’s go outside and get some fresh air, I wanna look at the stars.” Brian’s cloudy eyes were staring into Jordan’s waiting for her to agree with his idea.

“OMG that’s such a good idea! Gosh you’re so smart!” Jordan giggled. She grabbed some blankets and followed Brian outside to his garden.

“Let’s go to the beach!” Jordan shouted. She started running towards the ocean with the blankets in her arms not waiting for Brian to follow her. Brian was catching up with her when she tripped over her feet and fell onto the sand face first causing Brian to speed up so he could to get to her quickly to make sure she was okay.

“Are you okay, J?!”

“Oh fuck, it hurts so bad! Brian help me!” Jordan was whimpering in pain holding her ankle which made Brian panic. He had no clue what to do with her was moving his body aimlessly which only made Jordan think that he was a dog chasing his tail. “Hahaha got you!” Jordan laughed and pointed a finger at him mocking his panic.

“Suck on these nuts, J!” Brian grabbed his crotch as he said that laughing at himself for falling for her joke.

Jordan spread the blankets and laid down on her back so she could see the sky and yawned. “That was funny as shit! You should’ve seen your face.” She said suppressing another yawn. Brian joined her on the blanket also lying on his back to see the stars. They enjoyed the sound of the waves and the starry night above them. The effect of the marijuana was wearing off and they were both lightly buzzed now.

“Do you ever wonder what’s out there? In the universe I mean?” Brian wondered.

“It scares me. It’s so big, I mean, we’re just small humans in the universe but every decision we make is perceived to be so important. But it doesn’t matter does it?”

“No because we’re just small humans in the universe.” Brian used Jordan’s words to answer her question.

“Humans are so self-centred, the average life span of a human being is nothing compared to the stars that we’re staring at now but we put so much pressure onto ourselves. Fuck it all!” Jordan made a masturbatory gesture towards the sky.

“You’re right Jordan! Fuck it all!” Brian snorted. All of a sudden he heard a soft snore, he looked to his left to see that Jordan was fast asleep. He sighed, pulled a blanket over her so she wouldn’t get cold and then continued to stare at the sky until his eyes gave in and fell asleep next to her on the beach.