Nobody's Hero

Patrick drove for a long time. So long that Phoenix ended up falling asleep in the back of the squad car. When she woke up again, it was obviously the next day and she was in the bed in the bedroom that she and Pat had shared. The thought occurred to her that he seemed to have drugged her somehow. That's the only way she could think of that she would have stayed asleep for so long and lost so much time.

As all of her thoughts and memories from the past few days came rushing back to her, she felt herself getting more and more panicky and afraid. She got out of the bed and crossed the room as quietly as she could to try the bedroom door and wasn't surprised at all when it was locked from the outside.

Curling into a ball back on the bed, her eyes filled with tears that she barely even noticed. She hadn't been sure what Patrick was going to do with her and she still wasn't sure, but somehow the not knowing was worse than anything else. Time passed; she couldn't be sure how much because he'd removed the alarm clock from the bedside table. Time passed and she sat and cried and wished Andy was there, wished she'd just turned his car around the day before and sped off as quickly as she could have.

Finally, after what felt like hours to her but could've been ten minutes, the door of the room opened and Patrick stepped in, closing it behind him. She cowered backwards on the bed and the only thing keeping her from having a full-on panic attack was Andy's voice in her head telling her that she needed to keep calm.

"Sleeping Beauty is awake, I see," Pat said, smiling a smile that would've looked completely genuine to someone who didn't know better.

"If you're going to kill me, please just do it," she said to him, surprising herself with how strong her voice sounded. Pat looked at her for a moment and then chuckled like she'd just said the most ludicrous thing ever.

"Kill you? Why would I ever kill you? I love you," he said, pulling a large knife from a sheath on his hip and setting it on the bedside table. He looked between her and the knife a few times, as if making sure she had taken note of its presence. "You love me too, don't you?" he asked in a tone that told her she'd better agree with him.

"O-o-of course," she stuttered, and he smiled again.

"I know you're lying, but it's okay. It'll do," he said, perching lightly on the edge of the bed. He was silent for a long time, seemingly just staring at the wall. The thought crossed her mind to reach for the knife on the table, but another glance at him told her that where the knife had been strapped to one hip, a gun was strapped to the other.

"Pat, what are you going to do to me?" she asked timidly after a few more minutes had passed. He didn't answer at first, just turned slowly to look at her.

"What is it about him? Huh? Why was he always the superior choice?" he asked, and she was sure he was talking about Andy. "Why did you ever pretend I could live up to him?"

"I did have very real feelings for you. You're the one that changed things," she said, again surprising herself with her bravery.

"And how did I do that?" he asked as if he had no idea what she was talking about. Now it was her turn to silently stare at him for a few moments. The look on his face suggested to her that he really wasn't sure what had changed between them.

"You started hitting me, Pat. You gave me more black eyes than I can count. You broke my arm. You sent me to a fucking holding cell for two days for no reason. You liquored me up so that you could beat on me and break my nose and three of my ribs. You smacked me for trying to get away from you. You tracked me down when I finally did get away from you. You scared me into not telling anyone that I was being fucking abused almost daily. The list goes on," she said, getting madder and madder the more she said. Patrick mulled over her words for a minute and then shrugged.

"But why him over me, though?" he asked, and she couldn't believe he was really that stupid.

"Because he doesn't fucking beat me, Patrick! Because he's actually a decent human being! Because he loves me as something more than a possession!" she exploded at him, and she was surprised when she saw him physically recoil just slightly.

"You'd better watch yourself, little one," Pat said in a voice that was much calmer than he looked.

"Or what? You'll fucking shoot me? I think both of us know you wouldn't actually do that," she said, the words pouring from her mouth without her really thinking about them.

"Oh, you don't think I will, huh?" he asked a moment later, pulling the gun from his belt in a swift motion and pointing it straight at her head.