I Can't Take Them on My Own

Secrets out

Tyler**

⚠Trigger warning. Mentions of self harm, self harm, suicidal thoughts,⚠

"So, Tyler how are you liking school so far?" Jax asked taking a sip of his root beer float. I shrugged "its okay... No one is all that nice to me... Only you three" Josh stiffened "like who?" Ryder questioned "your a great guy!" I rolled my eyes "this guy... Troy, he went to my old school, and.. He goes here now" "wait, Troy? Shaggy blonde hair?" Jax inquired I nodded "Listen, if he bothers you again, let me know, I'll take care of it" Josh said protection "never expected him to be like that" Jax shrugged "what does he do?" Ryder balled his fist "calling me a fag, h- hes hit me a few times" Josh looked like he was about to lose it "hey. Listen I have to go for now... My mom wants me home by lunch.." I mumbled standing up "okay.. Well text me when you can" Josh smiled "it was fun hanging with you!" Jax said "yeah, don't be afraid to come chill whenever!" Ryder agreed.

"Mom?" I called out closing the door behind me "Mom I- I'm home" I heard feet coming down the hall "Tyler? Why are you home from school?" Zack questioned as he rounded the corner "Mom said she wanted me home at lunch..." I murmured "oh.. Well she went to the grocery store" I nodded "So why are you home?" I asked, he shrugged "didn't feel good" just then the door opened "OH! Good Tyler your home..." Her voice broke slightly "m- mom whats wrong?" Zack's face saddened at my words, what does everyone know that I don't *PLS DON'T HATE ME FOR THIS NEXT PART. IT IS STRICTLY FICTION I MEAN NOTHING BY IT*
"I think you should sit down" she pointed to the couch and I followed her orders....
"Mom... Whats wrong?" I was almost in tears myself. She took a deep breath "You remember Jenna?" my heart stopped. Jenna was my best friend before we moved "y-yeah? What happened?" I saw a few tears fall from Zacks eyes "M- Mom!" I half shouted "s-she got... She got hit by a car last night... She....-" I cut her off. Knowing what she was gonna say next "No...." I sobbed "I'm so sorry sweetheart" "I... I'm just gonna... Go to my room" I said numbly... She's gone...

Running up to my room I slammed my door shut. Running into my bathroom, I tried keeping the voice out but to no avail...
/*/*/*/*/*/*/*
Come.on.tyguy.she.was.the.only.one.you.had.left.shes.gone.now.no.one.else.cares.

Stop... Please not right now.

"Tyler. Sweetie Your brother and I are going to pick up your father from the air port... We wont be back till tomorrow, will you be okay alone?" my mother called through my door "yeah.. Ill be good" I lied.

Cut.cut.cut.cut.die.no.one.needs.you.

Blur...stop.

But he wouldn't. Caving I picked up my small razor and sliced into my arm, god only knows how many times... I only stopped when I heard my phone ring.

"Hello?" My voice came out weak "Tyler? Its Josh... Are- are you okay?" I laughed a little "there's so much....red" I heard him take a sharp breath "Tyler... What do you mean?" his voice shook "J-Josh... I need help" I sobbed "Tyler! What did you do?!" I heard the faint sound of him running. And a car door slamming "I'm sorry" I sobbed "I'm coming over... Dont do anything else. I'll be there in like 2 minutes" he spoke quickly, when I heard the dial tone i started sobbing again. Although it was short lived "TYLER?!" I heard Josh scream "TY?! WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?" I heard the panic in his voice "J-Josh" I sobbed

What.were.you.thinking?hmmm?

He.doesnt.care.tyler.not.like.i.do!

"Oh my gosh..." I heard his voice break, than I felt pressure on my arm "what did you do?" he gritted under his breath "I just wanna die..." I slurred "I'm not gonna let you" he grunted putting more pressure on my gashes.

I must have blacked out, because next thing I knew I was in my bed.. But... Josh wasnt there. Had I imagined the whole thing? Did he not call? Did I clean up myself? My questions were answered when Josh came out of my bathroom, tear stains on his cheeks "Tyler!" he said finally looking up, instantly he was by my side "Josh?" my voice was dry.... Shit...

He.knows.your.secrit.now.hes.really.gonna.hate.you.

"J- Josh I..." he shook his head "why didn't you tell me?" his sad mocha eyes looked into mine "I... Didn't think you needed to know" I shrugged "move over" he whispered. He lay down next to me and draped his arm over my side. He sighed "why did you do it?" a tear rolled down his cheek as his fingers gently ran over the stark white bandage on my arm, I just shrugged "Tyler..." he whined "m- my friend... She..." I broke into another fit of tears, all he did was wrap me in a hug, he pulled my head to his chest and shushed me every time I choked on a sob. Eventually I fell asleep, wrapped in his arms... Perfect.
*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\
But morning came all to quickly and I was reminded of everything that happened "good morning, Ty" I smiled softly "mornin..." he was already up and dressed, sitting up as my head lay in his lap "what time is it?" I questioned "almost 2 PM" I sat straight up "oh my god I slept through school?!" "calm down.. Your mom came home at 6:30... She was a little confused that I was here, but I explained what happened-" my face drained of colour "sh- she never knew about my..." "no... I only told her about how hurt you were... I figured she didn't know... But anyway. She called us in sick, and I mean you just looked so peaceful I had to let you sleep" I nodded slowly "so... Why was I cuddled up on you?" he smiled sadly "you started having a nightmare... I had to comfort you" he shrugged as if it were nothing "I just figured, because of what I am you would be weirded out that I'd try something" he gave me a look "what.. You.. Are?" I nodded "ya know, gay? Everyone else seems to have a problem with it" he sighed "Ty, Im not like everyone else" he leaned closer, "because if I was I wouldn't do this" his lips gently brushed mine

TYLER.DON'T.YOU.DARE.

TYLER.I.SWEAR.TO.GOD.

TYLER.DONT.

Josh leaned all the way in. And for once Blurry went completely silent...

I feel like this chapter was confusing. Sorry if it was... And sorry if I'm rushing things... I know im not the best writer but when im writing im in my happy place so, that's something. Anyway hope you liked it. Have a good day/night!

WordCount:1147
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In comming, Posting alot at once because I keep forgetting I have this account an keep updating on Watpad but not here. BE PREPARED HERE COMES CHAPTERS