I Can't Take Them on My Own
Friend Request
Brief mentioning of self harm, ill put the warning before it just encase so watch for the /* *\
Tyler**
The rest of the day went by pretty slowly... I spent it alone, trying my best to stay away from people.
I walked home that day dreading my upcoming appointment with Dr. Lexas.
My mother was already sitting in the car, why she couldn't have just picked me up is beyond me... "Hello Tyler, how was your day today?" I looked at her through my eyelashes "fine.." I whispered. She mumbled something under her breath before pulling out of the driveway.
"Hello... Tyler. I'm Dr. Lexas" a short slightly plump red head smiled "Hi..." I sat across from her in a small room, Which had floral wall paper you'd most likely find in a 1960's house... A clock ticked in the background as she silently wrote down the time, date' and my name. "So, Tyler how are you feeling today?" she had a kind face, soft eyes... And a voice that just made you feel slightly more comfortable.
Sighing I looked down "I'm not sure..." "is anything bothering you?" she inquired sitting forward slightly, making her chair creak, I shrugged "it says here, that your last Doctor put down that you were on Lexapro, but you took yourself off two weeks later.. Why is that?" I looked up at her "I wasn't sleeping and... My ears" I gestured towards my ears "they would ring... People thought I was... Was mental... I kept hitting myself to make it stop.." she nodded righting down what I was saying "okay so im going to put you on Cymbalta to see how that works" I nodded avoiding her gaze /* "now... Self harm" I cringed "your file says here that you were three weeks clean and that was A month ag-" "I broke" I interrupted looking down at my hands, "right, we need to work on that. You need to find something, Someone to distract you,*\ you started a new school yesterday, did you make any friends" I looked back up shrugging "Im not sure that he's my friend" she gave me a puzzled look "what makes you say that" "hrs a part of this "buddie system" my school has.. He's pretty much forced to be my friend" she nodded "has he came out and told you this?" I shook my head "Why would anyone wanna be my friend... I'm pretty sure I blew it... He knows Im gay... He's gonna fund out I like him and he's gonna leave..." a tear fell "and what if he likes you back" my heart rate picked up "then miracles do happen" I smiled.
Later that night I was laying on my bed when my phone made a noise, furrowing my brows together I picked it up. There was a red dot placed over my Facebook icon with the number 1 in it... Confused I tapped on it and it brought me to an add friends page, and the first thing I see is
Josh Dun wants to become friends |Accept|Decline|message|
I tapped on his profile and scrolled through multiple pictures, deciding to add him i clicked 'accept' moments later my phone made another 'ping' noise and a bubble popped up with Josh's profile picture
'hey, it's Josh... I hope this is the right Tyler, I tried finding a photo of you but you have none haha..
Any way if this is you message back!'
Smiling I decided to reply
'hey, yea this is me... You found the right Tyler'
I hope that wasn't too awkward...
What.is.wrong.with.you.you.shouldnt.have.answered.he.doesnt.actually.care!
The voice in my head screamed, I tried to block it out but to no avail
You.cant.block.me.out.Tyler.Ill.always.be.here.YOU.CAN.NEVER.GET.RID.OF.ME!
"Shut up!" I half screamed, I heard my phone ping again, picking it up I looked at what Josh sent
'Thank god, I was starting to think I got the wrong account! And by the way, you're a really cool dude, You should come hang with my friends and I tomorrow!'
My heart beat faster... He.. Wanted to hang out with me?
'Thanks... Um, yea I'll hang with you guys... As long as it's okay with them..'
It.wont.be.they.will.make.fun.of.you.call.you.names!.he.just.wants.to.embarass.you!
'it will be, they are cool people.. And if your worried about the whole liking boys' thing don't be, two of the guys in my group are already dating'
That made me smile... We talked for the rest of the night, and he eventually gave me his number, because we were both getting tired of messaging back and fourth.
My mother came in at about 1:30 telling me I needed to get off the phone and get to bed because school.
I was just happy I actually had a friend...
That following morning I was exhausted. Rolling out of bed I did the things I needed to and headed for the door. But before I left I received at text
Josh: hey! Do you want a ride to school?
Biting the inside of my cheek I pondered on it.. Do I really want to? My thoughts were interrupted by another text
Josh: I made up your mind for you... I'm out side come on!
I laughed slightly exiting the house, seeing Josh parked out front made my stomach do a flip.
Entering his car he smiled "hey! How much trouble did you hey in after hanging up?" he laughed "ohhh, my mother was not happy haha, how about you?" he looked at me for a split second, wide smile and his eyes were squinted in an adorable way "my mother threatened to take my phone away if I was ever that loud again" I laughed at his comment "you have a cute laugh" he commented... Looking down I could feel the blush creep on my cheeks... Surly he didn't mean it...
Sorry this chapter is short and confusing. It will get better i promise, be prepared for fluffy fluff in the next chapter tho! For now have a good day/night!
Tyler**
The rest of the day went by pretty slowly... I spent it alone, trying my best to stay away from people.
I walked home that day dreading my upcoming appointment with Dr. Lexas.
My mother was already sitting in the car, why she couldn't have just picked me up is beyond me... "Hello Tyler, how was your day today?" I looked at her through my eyelashes "fine.." I whispered. She mumbled something under her breath before pulling out of the driveway.
"Hello... Tyler. I'm Dr. Lexas" a short slightly plump red head smiled "Hi..." I sat across from her in a small room, Which had floral wall paper you'd most likely find in a 1960's house... A clock ticked in the background as she silently wrote down the time, date' and my name. "So, Tyler how are you feeling today?" she had a kind face, soft eyes... And a voice that just made you feel slightly more comfortable.
Sighing I looked down "I'm not sure..." "is anything bothering you?" she inquired sitting forward slightly, making her chair creak, I shrugged "it says here, that your last Doctor put down that you were on Lexapro, but you took yourself off two weeks later.. Why is that?" I looked up at her "I wasn't sleeping and... My ears" I gestured towards my ears "they would ring... People thought I was... Was mental... I kept hitting myself to make it stop.." she nodded righting down what I was saying "okay so im going to put you on Cymbalta to see how that works" I nodded avoiding her gaze /* "now... Self harm" I cringed "your file says here that you were three weeks clean and that was A month ag-" "I broke" I interrupted looking down at my hands, "right, we need to work on that. You need to find something, Someone to distract you,*\ you started a new school yesterday, did you make any friends" I looked back up shrugging "Im not sure that he's my friend" she gave me a puzzled look "what makes you say that" "hrs a part of this "buddie system" my school has.. He's pretty much forced to be my friend" she nodded "has he came out and told you this?" I shook my head "Why would anyone wanna be my friend... I'm pretty sure I blew it... He knows Im gay... He's gonna fund out I like him and he's gonna leave..." a tear fell "and what if he likes you back" my heart rate picked up "then miracles do happen" I smiled.
Later that night I was laying on my bed when my phone made a noise, furrowing my brows together I picked it up. There was a red dot placed over my Facebook icon with the number 1 in it... Confused I tapped on it and it brought me to an add friends page, and the first thing I see is
Josh Dun wants to become friends |Accept|Decline|message|
I tapped on his profile and scrolled through multiple pictures, deciding to add him i clicked 'accept' moments later my phone made another 'ping' noise and a bubble popped up with Josh's profile picture
'hey, it's Josh... I hope this is the right Tyler, I tried finding a photo of you but you have none haha..
Any way if this is you message back!'
Smiling I decided to reply
'hey, yea this is me... You found the right Tyler'
I hope that wasn't too awkward...
What.is.wrong.with.you.you.shouldnt.have.answered.he.doesnt.actually.care!
The voice in my head screamed, I tried to block it out but to no avail
You.cant.block.me.out.Tyler.Ill.always.be.here.YOU.CAN.NEVER.GET.RID.OF.ME!
"Shut up!" I half screamed, I heard my phone ping again, picking it up I looked at what Josh sent
'Thank god, I was starting to think I got the wrong account! And by the way, you're a really cool dude, You should come hang with my friends and I tomorrow!'
My heart beat faster... He.. Wanted to hang out with me?
'Thanks... Um, yea I'll hang with you guys... As long as it's okay with them..'
It.wont.be.they.will.make.fun.of.you.call.you.names!.he.just.wants.to.embarass.you!
'it will be, they are cool people.. And if your worried about the whole liking boys' thing don't be, two of the guys in my group are already dating'
That made me smile... We talked for the rest of the night, and he eventually gave me his number, because we were both getting tired of messaging back and fourth.
My mother came in at about 1:30 telling me I needed to get off the phone and get to bed because school.
I was just happy I actually had a friend...
That following morning I was exhausted. Rolling out of bed I did the things I needed to and headed for the door. But before I left I received at text
Josh: hey! Do you want a ride to school?
Biting the inside of my cheek I pondered on it.. Do I really want to? My thoughts were interrupted by another text
Josh: I made up your mind for you... I'm out side come on!
I laughed slightly exiting the house, seeing Josh parked out front made my stomach do a flip.
Entering his car he smiled "hey! How much trouble did you hey in after hanging up?" he laughed "ohhh, my mother was not happy haha, how about you?" he looked at me for a split second, wide smile and his eyes were squinted in an adorable way "my mother threatened to take my phone away if I was ever that loud again" I laughed at his comment "you have a cute laugh" he commented... Looking down I could feel the blush creep on my cheeks... Surly he didn't mean it...
Sorry this chapter is short and confusing. It will get better i promise, be prepared for fluffy fluff in the next chapter tho! For now have a good day/night!