Whirlwind
One
A whirlwind.
That's how I would describe my relationship with Jackson Teller. Every day was a new adventure, whether it be good or bad. I never knew what was going to happen next and that excited me and scared me at the same time. I didn't grow up in Charming, actually far from it. I was born and raised in a small town in Wyoming and was transplanted into the city shortly after my nineteenth birthday. Apparently my parents had connections to Charming and my mother wanted to move back before she became to ill to return. It was during that time that I was introduced to the Prince of Charming. His luscious blonde hair and those electric green eyes could charm the pants off a snake but I tried my best to stand my ground. His arrogance was the thing that turned me off. He knew that he was an adonis. He knew he was very attractive but I just wasn't into that. I wasn't even interested in a relationship at that moment but I was more or less forced into one with Jax.
It remained a secret until my mother's last days. She decided to tell me on her deathbed that I had been promised to Jax at a young age. We were both promised to each other. Our parents decided that it would be best for us to marry each other. My parents knew there were bad men out there that would subject me to things and possibly hurt me. Jax's parent's knew that I was to be the best choice for their son, someone to keep him grounded and hopefully out of trouble. I'm sure there were other girls out there that could control his wild ways but I was apparently the only choice. I had my whole life ahead of me. I was gonna go off to college and study something that I loved and feel as if I was doing something with my life. I wanted to get out of the small town feel and live in a big city, maybe on the East Coast for all I knew. I wanted to be able to do a little traveling. I wanted to see the different parts of the country, maybe even go out of the country. My parents always talked about their trips to Ireland and had promised numerous times that they would take me but that turned out to be a dud. I knew that once I married Jackson Teller, I would be trapped in Charming for the rest of my life. I would have to take care of him and be there to keep him out of trouble.
The only thing I didn't expect to happen was that I would grow to love him. I gave that poor guy hell for the first couple years of our marriage. I would pick random fights with him and question his every move. I would give him the silent treatment like a 16 year old girl and then tease him just for the hell of it. I wanted him to be as miserable as I was trying to be. There were times when the arguing and fighting would get out of hand. I would either leave the house and drive the two hour distance to Caroline's house or I would just kick him out for the night. I knew that if I was the one to leave, that would just make him even more hot tempered. Sometimes I would get him mad just for the heck of it. He was kind of sexy when he was mad! There were other times when I would get genuinely hurt by his actions. I can't tell you how many times I cried myself to sleep or left that stupid clubhouse in tears. I knew that Jax was allowed to see anyone he wanted since our marriage was just a sham but as our relationship began to age, the cheating and the women started to get to me. Granted, I was allowed to see anyone I wanted as well but that only lasted for a couple seconds before I officially fell into wife mode. Guys don't seem to want to be attached to someone with a baby on the way and married to a member of the Sons of Anarchy. I thought that once Jax realized that he was going to be a father, everything would start to change. He would be home more often and devote time to me and our growing child. As the pregnancy went on, the arguments between us just started to get worse. There was more arguing, lying, and even violence. I couldn't help but wonder if this happened in every relationship but I knew better than to think that. Jax's drinking started to get out of hand as well. He stayed at the clubhouse all night and came home drunk as a skunk on most nights. I couldn't understand why he was drinking so much since he didn't tell me anything. I would ask how he was doing or why he was so upset but it would always end up in an argument. Finally last, I just stopped talking to him. I packed up some of my stuff and stayed with Caroline until Reagan was born.
Even though the fighting between us was going on, I was starting to grow a soft spot for Jax. He put me through hell just as I had done before, but I was starting to fall for him. By the time Reagan was born, we had been together for a little over a year. It was the hardest year of my life at that point of my life but there was something about him that I knew I couldn't deny. He was starting to grow on me. That way of thinking continued for the next tens years of my life and as I stand here in front of my husband's grave, I can't help but smile. I'm not smiling in a sadistic way, but it a way that brings closure to not only my life but also to Jax's. I watched him suffer over his decisions for the past four years and now he was at peace. Everything with the club was peaceful again and all of that was because Jax worked his ass off. People kept telling me that Jax was just afraid the cops were gonna catch up to him. He's caused so much damage to the Charming community and he finally realized that it was all starting to catch up. The only way for him to escape his punishment was to kill himself. I can't even begin to tell you how many times i've heard that in the past week.
I would like to say that I made a change in Jax's life during our marriage. I watched this cocky guy turn into a man I never imagined he would be. I just didn't know my time with him would end so quickly. I would have never thought I would be left a widow at the age of 30. I also would have never thought that I would fall head over heels for the Prince, turned king, of Charming.
That's how I would describe my relationship with Jackson Teller. Every day was a new adventure, whether it be good or bad. I never knew what was going to happen next and that excited me and scared me at the same time. I didn't grow up in Charming, actually far from it. I was born and raised in a small town in Wyoming and was transplanted into the city shortly after my nineteenth birthday. Apparently my parents had connections to Charming and my mother wanted to move back before she became to ill to return. It was during that time that I was introduced to the Prince of Charming. His luscious blonde hair and those electric green eyes could charm the pants off a snake but I tried my best to stand my ground. His arrogance was the thing that turned me off. He knew that he was an adonis. He knew he was very attractive but I just wasn't into that. I wasn't even interested in a relationship at that moment but I was more or less forced into one with Jax.
It remained a secret until my mother's last days. She decided to tell me on her deathbed that I had been promised to Jax at a young age. We were both promised to each other. Our parents decided that it would be best for us to marry each other. My parents knew there were bad men out there that would subject me to things and possibly hurt me. Jax's parent's knew that I was to be the best choice for their son, someone to keep him grounded and hopefully out of trouble. I'm sure there were other girls out there that could control his wild ways but I was apparently the only choice. I had my whole life ahead of me. I was gonna go off to college and study something that I loved and feel as if I was doing something with my life. I wanted to get out of the small town feel and live in a big city, maybe on the East Coast for all I knew. I wanted to be able to do a little traveling. I wanted to see the different parts of the country, maybe even go out of the country. My parents always talked about their trips to Ireland and had promised numerous times that they would take me but that turned out to be a dud. I knew that once I married Jackson Teller, I would be trapped in Charming for the rest of my life. I would have to take care of him and be there to keep him out of trouble.
The only thing I didn't expect to happen was that I would grow to love him. I gave that poor guy hell for the first couple years of our marriage. I would pick random fights with him and question his every move. I would give him the silent treatment like a 16 year old girl and then tease him just for the hell of it. I wanted him to be as miserable as I was trying to be. There were times when the arguing and fighting would get out of hand. I would either leave the house and drive the two hour distance to Caroline's house or I would just kick him out for the night. I knew that if I was the one to leave, that would just make him even more hot tempered. Sometimes I would get him mad just for the heck of it. He was kind of sexy when he was mad! There were other times when I would get genuinely hurt by his actions. I can't tell you how many times I cried myself to sleep or left that stupid clubhouse in tears. I knew that Jax was allowed to see anyone he wanted since our marriage was just a sham but as our relationship began to age, the cheating and the women started to get to me. Granted, I was allowed to see anyone I wanted as well but that only lasted for a couple seconds before I officially fell into wife mode. Guys don't seem to want to be attached to someone with a baby on the way and married to a member of the Sons of Anarchy. I thought that once Jax realized that he was going to be a father, everything would start to change. He would be home more often and devote time to me and our growing child. As the pregnancy went on, the arguments between us just started to get worse. There was more arguing, lying, and even violence. I couldn't help but wonder if this happened in every relationship but I knew better than to think that. Jax's drinking started to get out of hand as well. He stayed at the clubhouse all night and came home drunk as a skunk on most nights. I couldn't understand why he was drinking so much since he didn't tell me anything. I would ask how he was doing or why he was so upset but it would always end up in an argument. Finally last, I just stopped talking to him. I packed up some of my stuff and stayed with Caroline until Reagan was born.
Even though the fighting between us was going on, I was starting to grow a soft spot for Jax. He put me through hell just as I had done before, but I was starting to fall for him. By the time Reagan was born, we had been together for a little over a year. It was the hardest year of my life at that point of my life but there was something about him that I knew I couldn't deny. He was starting to grow on me. That way of thinking continued for the next tens years of my life and as I stand here in front of my husband's grave, I can't help but smile. I'm not smiling in a sadistic way, but it a way that brings closure to not only my life but also to Jax's. I watched him suffer over his decisions for the past four years and now he was at peace. Everything with the club was peaceful again and all of that was because Jax worked his ass off. People kept telling me that Jax was just afraid the cops were gonna catch up to him. He's caused so much damage to the Charming community and he finally realized that it was all starting to catch up. The only way for him to escape his punishment was to kill himself. I can't even begin to tell you how many times i've heard that in the past week.
I would like to say that I made a change in Jax's life during our marriage. I watched this cocky guy turn into a man I never imagined he would be. I just didn't know my time with him would end so quickly. I would have never thought I would be left a widow at the age of 30. I also would have never thought that I would fall head over heels for the Prince, turned king, of Charming.