Crash Into Me

{Katy’s Point of View}

Matt began to step into the room that was occupied by three toddlers. My heart began to race. Everything was about to change. Charlie’s life was about to get very confusing especially for a four-year-old.

Luke was the first to notice that we were in the doorway, “Aunt KK! I made a pizza for you!” He smiled handing me his plastic masterpiece.

“Mmm. Thanks Lukey. I love it,” I smiled looking over at Charlie who couldn’t care less if she ever left her imagination.

“Kate, I don’t think I’m ready. I just- I don’t know,” Matt stepped back into the hallway, completely taking me back.

“Hey,” I stood in front of him as his eyes closed and his head went back, “You don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to.”

“I want her to meet me today. I need you to let me get something off my chest, though. You may not want to hear it but I just need to say it,” Once he finished the sentence he lifted his head back up and looked me straight in the eyes.

“Fine,” I sighed. This is not what I had planned for emotionally.

“The last few years have been pure hell. I should’ve never stayed with Val. It’s been miserable. I saw Charlie on your Facebook when she was like first born and I feel weird because I’ve been stalking you from there for a while. There was never a moment when I forgot about you or Charlie in the last four years.” Tears filled his eyes and his voice began to crack.

“Matt-” I began to stop him but he held his hand up. Took a deep breath and continued.

“I loved you so much. No, scratch that I still love you and I will always love you until the day I die. I understand there will never be another chance for us to be together again, but I’d rather be in your life and not have you as my own then never have you in my life at all.” My eyes were filled, but I continuously wiped the tears before they could drop onto my cheek. There was no way I could share that my feelings where the same.

Words swarmed my thoughts but I couldn’t get anything to come out. I hid my face in my palms as the first sob released from my lungs. Matt telling me he still loved me was nowhere on my radar for the night.

The embrace of Matt’s arms engulfing me into his chest, startled me. But I didn’t fight it. He still felt he same. He even still smelt the same. After all these years, his arms still made me feel safe.

“Momma?” Charlie’s small voice broke my attention from the familiarity of Matt.

Quickly, I wiped away the tears that had escaped. Taking a step back I look up at Matt who was wiping away a few tears too. I bent over and picked up the four-year-old and hugged her, then I gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

“Why are you sad?” Charlie asked twiddling her fingers in my pony tail.

“Well because there is something very important that I need to tell you tonight. And even though it won’t make a lot of sense right now. You’ll understand when you’re older. You want to come sit with my friend and me?” There was no way I was going to be able to do this without crying, especially now.

“Okay,” she nodded, still looking concerned.

Matt sat down on the sofa first then I sat a few feet away and then I sat Charlie between us. Matt’s elbows planted on his knees as he sat on the edge of the seat.

“So Charlie, this is my friend Matt. He’s very important to me,” I began to explain. There was no easy way to do this, but I was trying my hardest to plan it all out. I guess honesty was the best policy, “See mommy has known Matt for a very long time. And at one time in our lives we were like boyfriend and girlfriend. And while we were like boyfriend and girlfriend, we ended up getting a big surprise. It’s the best surprise I have ever had,” I smiled and tears began to fill my bottom eyelid, “See Matt gave me you. We made you from our love,” Tears were falling now and I didn’t know what to say without bringing up the birds and the bees, “I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that Matt is your daddy.”

Charlie sat there looking very confused, “So I have two daddy’s?”

“No. Matt is your only daddy. Your old daddy wasn’t really your daddy. See I was married to him so that made him your step-dad. But since I’m not married to him anymore it means he’s not your step-dad anymore,” It was like a large web of confusion for Charlie.

“So,” Charlie looked up at Matt, “you’re my daddy forever now?” All the sass that she had learned from me came forth as she placed her hand on her hip and tilted her head towards Matt.

“Forever,” Matt replied with a smile. His eyes quickly looked at mine then back at Charlie. For the split second that he looked at me I notice a new sparkle as he began to fall in love with Charlie...



The room finally fell silent for longer than ten minutes, telling me that the three children were passed out. The end credits began to roll as I began to stand up next to the large pallet I had made for our ‘slumber-party’.

Baby James had his pacifier falling out of his slightly opened mouth, Luke was curled up in a ball by the foot of the pallet and Charlie was embraced in a large tattooed arm passed out. Even Matt was passed out. They both were laying on their right side, mouths both barely open to allow oxygen. My heart fluttered as I noticed every detail that mirrored the others.

Charlie had become infatuated with Matt in the short three hours that he had been here. He was at her every beckon call. They played dolls, restaurant and of course rock-star. Charlie really got a kick out of Matt acting like a rock-star. If she only knew.

My heart was full, but I knew that it would soon be only half full once I had to wake up Matt to return to his priority family.

Before I had to wake Matt up, I figured I would get a picture of the two to capture their first night together as father and daughter.