Status: Active!
Comedies and Tragedies
Chapter One
Sam and Dean were walking along the road on the edge of the forest where the last wendigo attack had occurred in the remote forests of Colorado. Suddenly, they heard the voice of their father, John, calling to them. Sam and Dean just looked at each other with the same look on their faces.
"Really?" Sam said.
"It must be a really stupid wendigo if it thinks we're going to fall for that." Dean laughed. They took off running into the forest, and suddenly everything went dark.
Dean woke up groggily, bright fluorescent lights blazing from the ceiling. He reached back and rubbed a bump on the back of his head where he had apparently been hit. But he didn't remember anything being behind him. Of course, if he had known someone or something was behind him, he wouldn't be in this room. He looked around to try to get his bearings and figure out a way to get out. The first thing he noticed was that Sammy wasn't there. Secondly, he had no weapons. There were no windows and only one solid-looking steel door. So he figured he must be in a basement. There was one rickety wooden table with two folding chairs on either side. Oddly enough, there was also a small fridge in one corner.
Dean decided to go against his initial instinct of investigating the fridge, and went to check the door. He walked slowly over to it, ready to defend himself if something were to jump out and attack. Just as he started to turn the handle, the door flew open, hitting him in the face.
"Ow! Fuck, Sammy! Can't you knock first before breaking my nose?" Dean yelled, holding his nose, hoping it wasn't broken again.
"Who's Sam? And who the fuck are you?" Dean suddenly looked up to see who had hit him and decide if he could take him.
"Who are you and what have you done with Sam?" Dean asked as he backed away a bit, having seen the muscles the other guy was packing underneath his two-sizes-too-small shirt.
"My name is Zak Bagans, lead investigator of the Ghost Adventures crew. And like I said, I have no idea who Sam is. Now who are you?"
"I'm Dean Winchester, lead investigator of my foot in your ass. What's wrong with you? Who the fuck introduces themselves that way? Also, did you know you're wearing a shirt made for a broody little 13 year old? Whatever. Just sit your Hollywood ass in the corner and I'll figure out what's going on."
"Fuck you bro!" Zak yelled,suddenly looking a little bigger than before. "Who do you think you are? You don't know what I've been through! I've investigated the most haunted places in the world! I've even been possessed a couple times! What have you done with your life? Gotten into two or three bar fights?"
"You have no idea, princess," Dean scoffed. "Listen, let's just get the fuck out of here and you can go back to shopping at Baby Hot Topic."
"Fine. Outside this door is just a hallway leading towards another door. That's as good a place as-"
"What did you say? A hallway leading 'tor-wards' another door? Do you mean 'towards'?"
"That's what I said. Towards."
"No, it's not. God, your stupidity is draining me. How do you survive?" Dean made his way to the little fridge to see if there was anything worth eating. It was clearly running, as a low hum could be heard coming from it. He opened the door and pulled out a bag and a bottle of juice. "What the fuck are kale chips? And green juice? Why can't there ever be any pie lying around?"
"That's exactly what I need to get some energy during this impromptu lock-down, bro! Is there more for me, too?" Zak asked, walking to the fridge. He opened the door, hesitated for a moment, then pulled out a full bottle of Jack Daniels and, somehow, a piping hot apple pie.
"Oh hell yes! That's the kind of food I need!" Dean said, clearly excited. He snatched the pie and whiskey from Zak's hands, and all but threw the kale chips and juice at his face. As soon as the food changed hands, it disintegrated to ash.
"Oh shit! Did you see that, bro?! That's exactly the kind of shit I'm trying to capture on my show! I wish I had a camera with me!"
"What the hell?" Dean opened the fridge, once again finding kale chips and juice. He pulled it out, looking in the back to see if there was anything else in there.Seeing nothing, he closed the door and walked away. Zak then opened the fridge and found pie and whiskey again. They tried trading food again, and it all turned to ash again.
"That's fucking nuts bro! Do you have your phone? I can just use the camera on that at least," Zak said.
"Shut up you fucking idiot. Do you smell that?"
"Smell what?"
"Sulfur." Dean bent over and took a quick sniff of the ash that was once the pie and whiskey. He carefully poked his head out of the door, looking down the hallway before turning back to Zak. "You said earlier that you were the lead idiot of the Ghost Adventures crew? Stay close, because you're about to have the worst adventure of your life."
"Really?" Sam said.
"It must be a really stupid wendigo if it thinks we're going to fall for that." Dean laughed. They took off running into the forest, and suddenly everything went dark.
Dean woke up groggily, bright fluorescent lights blazing from the ceiling. He reached back and rubbed a bump on the back of his head where he had apparently been hit. But he didn't remember anything being behind him. Of course, if he had known someone or something was behind him, he wouldn't be in this room. He looked around to try to get his bearings and figure out a way to get out. The first thing he noticed was that Sammy wasn't there. Secondly, he had no weapons. There were no windows and only one solid-looking steel door. So he figured he must be in a basement. There was one rickety wooden table with two folding chairs on either side. Oddly enough, there was also a small fridge in one corner.
Dean decided to go against his initial instinct of investigating the fridge, and went to check the door. He walked slowly over to it, ready to defend himself if something were to jump out and attack. Just as he started to turn the handle, the door flew open, hitting him in the face.
"Ow! Fuck, Sammy! Can't you knock first before breaking my nose?" Dean yelled, holding his nose, hoping it wasn't broken again.
"Who's Sam? And who the fuck are you?" Dean suddenly looked up to see who had hit him and decide if he could take him.
"Who are you and what have you done with Sam?" Dean asked as he backed away a bit, having seen the muscles the other guy was packing underneath his two-sizes-too-small shirt.
"My name is Zak Bagans, lead investigator of the Ghost Adventures crew. And like I said, I have no idea who Sam is. Now who are you?"
"I'm Dean Winchester, lead investigator of my foot in your ass. What's wrong with you? Who the fuck introduces themselves that way? Also, did you know you're wearing a shirt made for a broody little 13 year old? Whatever. Just sit your Hollywood ass in the corner and I'll figure out what's going on."
"Fuck you bro!" Zak yelled,suddenly looking a little bigger than before. "Who do you think you are? You don't know what I've been through! I've investigated the most haunted places in the world! I've even been possessed a couple times! What have you done with your life? Gotten into two or three bar fights?"
"You have no idea, princess," Dean scoffed. "Listen, let's just get the fuck out of here and you can go back to shopping at Baby Hot Topic."
"Fine. Outside this door is just a hallway leading towards another door. That's as good a place as-"
"What did you say? A hallway leading 'tor-wards' another door? Do you mean 'towards'?"
"That's what I said. Towards."
"No, it's not. God, your stupidity is draining me. How do you survive?" Dean made his way to the little fridge to see if there was anything worth eating. It was clearly running, as a low hum could be heard coming from it. He opened the door and pulled out a bag and a bottle of juice. "What the fuck are kale chips? And green juice? Why can't there ever be any pie lying around?"
"That's exactly what I need to get some energy during this impromptu lock-down, bro! Is there more for me, too?" Zak asked, walking to the fridge. He opened the door, hesitated for a moment, then pulled out a full bottle of Jack Daniels and, somehow, a piping hot apple pie.
"Oh hell yes! That's the kind of food I need!" Dean said, clearly excited. He snatched the pie and whiskey from Zak's hands, and all but threw the kale chips and juice at his face. As soon as the food changed hands, it disintegrated to ash.
"Oh shit! Did you see that, bro?! That's exactly the kind of shit I'm trying to capture on my show! I wish I had a camera with me!"
"What the hell?" Dean opened the fridge, once again finding kale chips and juice. He pulled it out, looking in the back to see if there was anything else in there.Seeing nothing, he closed the door and walked away. Zak then opened the fridge and found pie and whiskey again. They tried trading food again, and it all turned to ash again.
"That's fucking nuts bro! Do you have your phone? I can just use the camera on that at least," Zak said.
"Shut up you fucking idiot. Do you smell that?"
"Smell what?"
"Sulfur." Dean bent over and took a quick sniff of the ash that was once the pie and whiskey. He carefully poked his head out of the door, looking down the hallway before turning back to Zak. "You said earlier that you were the lead idiot of the Ghost Adventures crew? Stay close, because you're about to have the worst adventure of your life."