My Saving Grace

As soon as I entered the house, I could hear several rowdy male voices coming from the living room. I quietly shut the front door then discreetly made my way to the stairs, hoping to avoid Antonio's guys' night at all costs. I just wasn't in the mood to converse with a bunch of drunk men.

"Sophia, is that you?", Antonio called out.

Damn it.

"Yeah, I just got home," I yelled back.

"Come here. The guys wanna see you."

With a groan, I dragged my feet to the living room and found Antonio and his friends all seated on the ground around the coffee table. They were playing poker, just like I expected. The pungent smell of cigars filled the air, and I took care to not step on the empty beer bottles lying all over the floor.

"Gentlemen, you remember my wife, Sophia," Antonio spoke before downing his shot of scotch.

"How's it going?", a guy I remembered meeting at our wedding asked. I was pretty sure he was also a colleague of Antonio's at USC.

"I'm doing good. I was just out with a friend. Daniel, right?"

"Wow, you remember my name." He grinned.

I smiled.

"Lucky guess."

He chuckled.

"Yeah, Antonio told us you were out with Chase Lincoln. That's mind-blowing."

"Damn, I don't know how I'd feel letting my wife hang out with a hot shot actor. Rules don't apply when you're in Hollywood," the guy to Antonio's right chimed in.

I rushed to Chase's defense.

"He's not like that. And I've known him since before he became an actor."

"Hmm, I see."

"Who's better, him or Antonio?", a new voice asked.

"Jesus, Nate," Antonio growled, shooting a death glare at the dirty-blonde guy sitting directly across from him.

Nate? As in Cuban cigar Nate?

"Come on, no sane woman wouldn't fuck that guy," he slurred.

"Fuck you," I spat.

"Watch your mouth, Sophia," Antonio reprimanded in a gruff voice.

I whipped my head around to face him, my eyes blazing with anger.

"Fuck you, Antonio."

I turned on my heel to storm out of the living room without so much as a backwards glance. I hated the things Nate said, even if he'd clearly been drunk. But, the audacity of Antonio to scold me when his friend had been the one acting like a total dick—that pissed me off even more.

In that moment, I regretted not taking Chase up on his offer to show me his house. If I'd come home later, this stupid guys' night might've already ended, and I wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit.

After brushing my teeth, I slipped on an oversized T-shirt then climbed into bed, shutting out the noise from the guys downstairs. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through the photos Melissa had taken for me and Chase. The funny ones provided a temporary reprieve from my current emotional state, and I even managed a few laughs. By the time I reached the end, though, my cheeks were damp with tears.

I felt so alone right now.

About an hour later, I heard Antonio enter the bedroom, and I turned on my side, facing my back to him.

"What the hell was that earlier?", he demanded, abruptly switching on the lights.

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered, pulling the comforter over my face.

"Sophia, look at me when I'm talking to you."

I scoffed.

"The last thing I wanna do right now is talk to you."

"What made you think you could speak that way to me in front of my friends?"

I bolted upright, feeling my temples throb.

"Are you just gonna ignore the shit Nate was saying to me?"

"He was drunk and being an idiot."

"Of course you'd excuse him," I hissed.

"I'm not excusing him. But you need to watch that mouth of yours."

"Jesus Christ, Antonio, what did you expect me to do? Just stand there smiling while your friend insinuates that I'm a slut?", I yelled.

He expelled a breath, rubbing his temples.

"You overreact—"

"Why didn't you tell Nate to watch his mouth? He was the one throwing "fuck" around first, not me!"

I then caught what he'd begun to say and felt my blood boil.

"Overreact?! You're lucky I didn't kick him out of the house. In case you don't remember, Antonio, this house belongs to me, too."

"Jesus, woman." He scowled.

"I'm sorry, am I hurting your toxic male image?" I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

In a flash, he was by the bed, looming over me. His hand was raised, and for the briefest of seconds, I thought he was going to hit me, but instead he slammed it on the mattress, bending at the waist so that we were eye-to-eye.

"Damn you, Sophia," he uttered, his expression filled with vehement hostility.

"Go to hell," I spat.

"Gladly. And who knows, maybe Nate saw right through you."

He abruptly retreated from the bed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

The bastard hadn't even bothered to turn off the lights.

I got up to turn them off then collapsed back into bed, burying my face in my pillow as I cried myself to sleep.

Antonio and I didn't speak to each other the next day, and he spent a second night sleeping in the guest room. On Monday, I came home from work and made myself a PB&J sandwich for dinner. I'd barely had an appetite the past two days.

I ended up falling asleep on the couch while watching TV and woke up around midnight to head upstairs to my bed. Upon passing the guest room, I noticed that it was empty, and immediately, I began to worry.

Antonio hadn't come home.

Believe me, I was mad like hell at him, but he was still my husband, whom I'd vowed to love and protect. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialed his number, only to be sent to voicemail.

The possibility that he'd spent the night at a hotel or a friend's house was very likely.

Or, worse, he was spending the night with a woman.

The latter made my stomach sick.

I couldn't sleep a wink the rest of the night and ended up chugging down coffee the following morning. My presentation for senior leadership at work went decently well despite my sleep deprivation and current mental state.

When I got home, the first thing I noticed was a vase of red roses sitting on the kitchen counter. A small card was placed next to it, and I grabbed it, flipping it open to read the message.

I'm sorry, mia bella.

"That's it?", I said out loud.

"No."

I whipped my head around at the sound of Antonio's voice.

He was wearing a wrinkled navy button-down shirt and black dress pants, his hands shoved in his pockets. The bags under his eyes were the most prominent features on his haggard face.

He released a weary sigh before speaking.

"I'm sorry for not defending you on Saturday night. I'm sorry for my short temper. I'm sorry for my toxic male image...And I'm so fucking sorry for making you cry."

"I wasn't crying."

"I could hear you from the other room."

I shuffled my feet while staring down at them, feeling my anger slowly dissolve.

"Where were you last night? You didn't come home."

"I stayed on campus. I showered at the gym and slept in my office. I didn't want you to have to deal with seeing me. But I can't stay away from you any longer, mia bella."

I glanced back up at him.

"Then don't."

His expression turned hopeful.

"You accept my apology then?"

I sighed.

"I've been waiting for you to admit that you have a short temper. Not all the time, but some times. So yeah, I accept your apology. And being mad is very tiring."

His lips curled in a smile.

"I agree."

"The roses helped. They're absolutely beautiful. You've never bought me flowers before." I smiled shyly at him.

"A horrible mistake on my part."

He stepped closer, clasping his hands over mine and bringing them to his lips.

"I'd take you yelling at me over your silence any day. I missed you, mia bella," he murmured, placing a kiss on the back of my hand.

"Me, too. I thought you ran off to another woman's bed last night."

"Never," he vowed, his eyes boring into mine. "You're the only woman for me. Dirty mouth and all."

I laughed lightly, burying my head in his chest.

"And the last thing I said to you that night...I didn't mean it. I was just angry," he continued.

"It hurt, though. That you would even think that way about me and Chase. You know we're just good friends."

"I know. I'm so sorry." His eyes were filled with regret.

"Oh, Antonio. I hate when we fight, but I'd take our fights over not meeting you any day."

"Me, too, Soph. Me, too."

"Can we order Chinese for dinner? I'm too tired to cook, and you probably are, too."

"Anything you want, sweetheart."

I beamed then went to grab my phone, admiring the roses as I placed our order.

***

Super Bowl Sunday came right around the corner, and Nick was hosting a small watch party at his house. We were all sporting LA Rams jerseys, with the exception of one of Nick's friend who was a die-hard Eagles fan. Alyssa and I had spent the day baking football-shaped cookies and preparing various appetizers for the game.

Her belly was slightly starting to show now, and her face was constantly glowing. Pregnancy definitely suited her.

I couldn't wait until Antonio and I had a little one of our own one day.

"Anyone want more hot dogs?", Nick called from the patio where he was grilling.

"Yes, please," Antonio said, rising from his spot on the couch.

He passed me on the way and smiled warmly.

"Your potato salad is amazing as always."

"Thanks."

"Aren't you gonna watch the game?", he asked.

"Yeah. I just want to clean up a bit in the kitchen."

"Need any help?"

"No, it's alright. Alyssa's with me."

"Cool."

He headed outside and engaged in conversation with Nick while Alyssa and I set out the snacks and tidied the kitchen.

The night was filled with joy and raucous cheering each time the Rams scored. We even incorporated a couple drinking games to make things more entertaining, with rules proposed by Nick and Antonio. They purposely aimed to get me wasted and succeeded because by the time the fourth quarter ended, I was passed out on the couch in a drunken slumber.

Exactly a week later, the Oscars were held. I spent the day shopping with Ella at Newport Beach and getting our nails done. Around four, I received a text from Chase, which included a selfie of him and Gwen on the red carpet. I smiled to myself while typing a response.

Me: You two look absolutely incredible! Have a wonderful night, and fingers crossed you win the award! xxx

His reply came immediately.

Chase: Thank you! Wish you could be here.

I sighed. Just the thought of attending the Oscars felt so dream-like. Being surrounded by the biggest names in Hollywood and seeing all of the iconic looks...

"You're home," Ella announced, snapping me out of my daydream.

"Wow, that was quick. Thanks for the ride."

"Anytime! You watching the Oscars tonight?"

"Yup. The pre-show should be starting soon."

"Yeah. I'm excited to see which movie wins Best Picture."

"Me, too. See you tomorrow!"

"See ya!"

I got out of the car, grabbing my bags from the backseat then went inside the house. The delicious smell of buttered rolls filled my nostrils, and I went to look inside the kitchen, finding Antonio in full chef mode cutting up a rack of ribs. His face lit up at my presence.

"Hey. How was shopping?"

"It was fun. They had a lot of amazing deals. I bought a bunch of candles for the kitchen and bathroom."

"Nice. I'm just finishing up these ribs. Could you grab the rolls from the oven?"

"Yup. They smell incredible."

"Thanks. It's my mom's recipe."

"We should visit her soon. It's been a while."

"She's actually gonna come visit next month."

"That's great," I said with a smile.

I stood on my tippy toes to press a kiss to his cheek then went to take the rolls out of the oven.

Soon, we were on the couch eating dinner while watching the Oscars, which took place at the Dolby Theatre. I had never watched an entire Oscars show from beginning to end before, but this year was an exception of course.

"There's Chase!", I exclaimed when the camera switched over to the audience during the acceptance speech for Best Cinematography.

He was sitting next to Gwen and his fellow co-stars from Live or Die, looking absolutely dashing in a black tuxedo. Gwen was equally breathtaking in a strapless gold mermaid gown.

"Damn, they cleaned up good," Antonio remarked.

"I know, right."

Five more awards were presented, which spanned over an hour then at last, the nominees for Best Actor in a Supporting Role were announced. I was anxiously biting my fingers, feeling my heartbeat accelerate as I stared unblinkingly at the TV.

"And the Academy Award for Best Actor in a Supporting Role goes to...," the presenter announced before flipping open the envelope.

He deliberately paused to create suspense, which absolutely killed me.

"Chase Lincoln. Live or Die."

"Yesss!", I yelled, leaping off the couch as I pumped my fist in the air.

"Damn, way to go, Chase," Antonio chimed in.

I watched Chase's eyes widen in utter shock as the whole audience erupted in applause. His co-stars clapped him on the back and drowned him in hugs then he turned to give Gwen a kiss before standing up from his seat. While making his way to the stage, he clasped his hands together and looked to the heavens above.

Tears of joy began streaming down my face, and I quickly wiped them away, sitting back down to hear his acceptance speech. He shook hands with both of the presenters, and they handed the award over to him before he got behind the microphone.

"Wow, I honestly don't even know what to say right now. Truth is, I haven't even been in the film industry for long. The other guys in this category are excellent at what they do, and I've always looked up to them. So, this is incredibly humbling to me."

He rubbed the back of his neck, taking a deep breath.

"Okay, here goes nothing. I better not forget anybody, but if I do, I apologize beforehand and will buy you a meal."

The audience laughed, and I joined in with them.

"First and foremost, I'd like to thank my mentor and friend, Director Jimmy Butch, for taking a chance on a twenty-two year old burger server with no direction in life. Without him, I wouldn't even dream of being an actor. I owe you a bunch, Jim.

"To my dad, I miss you like hell every single day and wish you were still here. Thank you for raising me, and I hope I made you proud tonight. I love you so much.

"Aunt Bethany and Uncle Paul, thanks for putting a roof over my head and caring for me like you would your own son when I moved to California. My life wasn't always this great, but you gave me more than I could ever ask for. I love you both."

A slow smile spread across his lips as he shifted his gaze.

"Next, I'd like to thank my beautiful girlfriend, Gwen, who's in the audience tonight. Gwen, I know it's not easy dating an actor, but you've stuck with me through all of the traveling for filming and have been my rock throughout my career. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us. I love you, babe."

The camera switched to Gwen's face as she mouthed back "I love you" with tears in her eyes.

"To my director, Tom Jackson, and co-stars, Liv Bradley, Jason Young, and Dean Blackman, thanks for making it such a joy to come into work every day. Live or Die will always have a special place in my heart because of you all.

"To my fans, you guys are such a huge motivator for me and have shown me so much love and support. I love you all and thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart."

He paused for several moments, and I turned to Antonio.

"Is he done?", I asked.

"I'm not sure."

The sound of Chase clearing his throat redirected our attention back to the TV.

"Now, there is one final person I'd like to thank. Exactly seven years ago, I met a girl. At the time, I was in a very dark place in my life. But she accepted all the parts of me I'd tried hard to hide. Her name was Sophia Grace. I call her my saving grace. Because without her, I wouldn't be alive and standing in front of you all tonight accepting this award."

His voice cracked, and so did a piece of my heart.

"Sophia, I know you're at home watching this. So, I just wanna say thank you for everything you did for me. I'm incredibly blessed to call you my best friend, and know that this award is dedicated to you."

I felt his magnificent smile as if he were in the same room as me, not miles away.

"Okay, I think that's all the names. Thank you so much, and have a great night, everyone."

Loud applause and cheering rang throughout the audience, and several people even stood up.

I simply sat there in a daze, completely fixated on Chase's emotional and heartfelt dedication for me and the three words he'd said during it:

My saving grace.