Status: Complete

Runaway

I sat watching the people pass by, time seemed to move faster than I had once remembered it. Then again my life wasn't the same as before this all happened. I rubbed my face and frowned at the feeling of the thick beard covering my cheeks, where had I gone wrong? I had a loving fiance, a very successful band, and four friends who would pick me up whenever I needed them most. Now though? I was living on the streets of the place I grew up, the only positive was that no one recognized me. I lost all of my money to drinking, a drug addiction I was forced to break once I had nothing left. My fiance had frozen the bank accounts to help get me sober, and when it was too late I left. I hadn't seen her nor my friends since the death of one of my best friends, how could I have been so stupid? I let my life go because I couldn't cope with what had happened.

I pulled my legs closer to my chest and sighed, the sun had set a little over an hour ago, leaving the sky a beautiful deep orange. I sighed softly and looked out towards the sidewalk where the crowds of people seemed to thin out. I could only hope that no one I knew, or anyone that recognized me would walk by and see the mess I had become. I had cut off contact with everyone after everything happened, I couldn't bear to look at anyone the same. I was a broken man who couldn't deal with reality.

“That movie was horrible and you know it” I froze at the sound of an oh so familiar voice, maybe he wouldn't even stop and notice me.
“It was not, you just didn't pay...Matt?” A second voice spoke up, sounding closer than I was expecting. How was I going to explain this?

I looked over slowly and waved, what a great way to greet your friends after not speaking for the last two years Matt.

“Holy shit, it's really you” Zack ran over and dropped down next to me, he was wearing a Vengeance University hoodie, how fitting.
“Hey Zack, hey Brian” My voice croaked out from lack of use. The last time I had even spoken to someone was over two weeks ago.
“What happened to you?” Brian stood behind Zack with a shocked expression across his features, his eyes wide with awe.
“I fucked up, I lost everything” I had lost a substantial amount of weight, my arms were nowhere near as toned as they once were, and my waist was the smallest it had been since I was a teenager.
“Why don't you come with us? We can get you something to eat, and a shower” Brian held his hand out and smiled softly. What else did I have to lose?

I grabbed his hand and felt him pull me off the ground, I think he was expecting me to have more weight than I did. His eyes widened as he shoved his hands into his pockets Zack turned and led us over to where his car was, I felt like a total moron for letting them see me as the mess I was. I hadn't had a decent in meal in over a week, only managing to gather up enough money to get a burger or two from McDonald's. I was a completely disgusting human being, I didn't deserve the friends I had.

Brian and Zack talked freely as he drove, he had to of moved since the last time I saw him. I wonder what else had changed between my friends. Would any of them even want to speak to me after what happened? After I disappeared without a trace, no phone, no money, nothing but the clothes that were on my back. How could I just let go of my life so easily? I had everything I could ever need and I let it all go because I couldn't handle the death of my best friend. I was weak, and pathetic.

“We're here” Zack said as he parked, the house we were at felt foreign to me, I knew this was a bad idea.
“I'll find some clothes for you, call and order some takeout” Brian slipped out from the car and walked inside.

Swallowing thickly I stepped out from inside the car, the air felt crisp. It was definitely going to be a cold one tonight. I followed Zack inside and gasped softly, the inside was more beautiful than the outside, it suited Brian perfectly. It hit me then, if Michelle were to see me, she would go and tell Val. She didn't deserve to see the mess I was, I wouldn't be surprised if she had found someone else and settled down, the pain of the thought caused my chest to ache. Then again it could've been the cold I had for over two weeks. Brian came back down to where I was still rooted and handed me a small pile of clothes.

“Bathroom is at the end of the hall, I put out a new toothbrush you can have, just make sure Pinkly doesn't follow you inside” Brian spoke softly, clapping his hands together as the small maltese wandered into the room.

I nodded slowly and made my way down to the bathroom, stopping once I found what I assumed to be Brian's room, it felt so welcoming and homey. I shook my head and walked into the bathroom that was two doors down, I should just stay the night and leave before he wakes up in the morning. At least then Brian could be without the burden that I am. I shut the door and turned on the shower, steam filling the room quickly. Stripping off my clothes felt foreign, I hadn't been able to shower in a little over a month. The spray from the shower loosened every muscle in my body, I could spend hours cleaning myself if it felt this nice. The dirt and grease dripped from my hair when I lathered shampoo along my head, I'd have to wash my hair a couple times at least.

I dried off and dressed in the soft clothes that Brian had given to me after I felt cleaner than I ever could, my clothes sat in a dirty heap by the door. What would he even say about this? No, I can't think about all of that right now. I dropped the towel in a basket I assumed was used for laundry and headed down to where Zack and him were, except before I could step into the living room I heard three voices talking.

“Johnny, he doesn't look the same. I don't know what happened to him but he's changed” Brian's voice broke on the last word. I couldn't handle seeing anyone else, word would get out and things would end badly.
“He's our friend Brian, we should've been there for him, when all of this happened to us” Johnny pleaded with Brian, his voice raising an octave as he spoke.
“I'm sorry dude I can't, he's already ready to run at a moments notice. If he even finds about what Val did he'll go mental” Brian sighed and crossed his arms.
“It's alright Brian, I expected people to find out eventually” I turned the corner and looked between the three other men.

Brian's eyes widened with horror, Johnny's with shock and sadness, and Zack's watered in the slightest. I didn't want to feel as if they had to baby me. Johnny ran over and wrapped his arms around me tight, his grip tightening as I wrapped my own around his shoulders.

“I'm so sorry, I can't ever excuse the horrible shit I did to you guys” This was the moment I needed, to truly apologize for what I had done.
“Matt don't-”
“Brian I skipped out on life for the last two years, I let drugs and alcohol take over every fiber of my being. If Val hadn't frozen my accounts I would've possibly killed myself, hell you should all hate me for what I did. Fuck, I hate me Brian” I could feel my eyes sting with oncoming tears, I just couldn't cry, not now.
“Do you want us to catch you up on everything?” Brian asked as he sat down. What could it hurt to know? I nodded slowly and sat down with Johnny and groaned, my chest aching as I sunk into the cushions.
“Alright, well Johnny got engaged, VU has been going amazing for Zack, Michelle and I are no longer together for reasons we are keeping private. Umm, Val got married about a month ago, she has all of your stuff in storage, accounts are still frozen until you're ready to take over, and...Matt are you okay?” I could barely hear Brian's words, everything started to feel fuzzy. I wonder if it was the news about Val or soaking in all the information, I should've expected her to move on.
“The house, what did she do with the house?” I looked at him nervously, did she sell it, or was she still living there?
“She locked it up when she moved out, the keys are in my office” Brian stood up and made his way down to what I assumed was his office. I could go back home and pretend I didn't do any of this. I could just be myself again.

Zack walked over slowly and hugged me tight, I missed out on so much because I was selfish. Wrapping my arms around Zack I sniffed and gripped his shirt tight.

“He left Michelle after you went missing, he was always out searching for you, but when he couldn't find you he went into a depression” Zack rubbed my back slowly, his words were soft whispers.
“He thought you were dead when you hadn't turned up after a few months, he blamed himself for what happened to Jimmy, and then what happened to you” I felt the tears run down my cheeks in small rivers, I knew I was going to soak his shirt but it hurt hearing the truth.
“I was too ashamed to come home, I saw you guys a few months ago but I felt like a horrible person for what I caused so I left before you could notice me” I pulled away from Zack gently and held my hands on his shoulders, his eyes were red with tears.
“Just stay, for Brian's sake” There was an underlying tone to Zack's words. A hidden message that I had to figure out. And I would.
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