Yourself Clean

I laid awake in bed at six in the morning, without my alarm. My body was in such a routine for work I would wake around 5:50 every morning. I had hoped my body would cooperate and let me sleep on my day off, but I was fully awake and slightly annoyed.

The past few days had been intense at work, and I needed the day to get it together. We had to remove a child from their home, and Joanie had fled the facility. They found her, thankfully, but they wanted to try her as an adult now. I fought with them and testified that the correct route was still therapy and working through her issues. With the prisons being overpopulated, they granted me the request. I had stressed, thinking they wouldn't see it my way, and they only did it because they didn't have space, but I was still relieved. Joanie and I would meet again tomorrow, and I was hoping we could get on a better path.

My phone buzzed, interrupting my thoughts. I groaned, hoping it wasn't work intruding on my day off, and reached for my phone on the side table. It was Beth. She was never up this early, and I got nervous.

Beth: I'm gonna be in the city next weekend for work. Are you free?

Me: Why are you up so early? And when would you get into town, and for what?

Beth: Have to catch a flight for an event, ugh.

Secret show at Mercury Lounge with Second Class Heroes on Friday night. You'd be my plus one. And then I'd stay the weekend so we could catch up, if you are free?

I was relieved it was nothing serious.

Me: Fun! I have the weekend off, and it'll be nice! You can stay with me too if you'd like!

It had been almost three months since I had seen Beth and Travis. In my mind, we had a deep connection, and it felt like we had an amazing time. But he was a famous and charismatic musician, so he was likely always associated with women like that.

I was very single and made up scenarios to keep myself entertained because he was only nice to me because I was Beth's friend; that was it.

Beth: I'd love to stay with you!! I'll cancel the hotel the label has for me. Cannot wait to see you!

I put my phone back on the side table and danced in bed. I was going to see Travis again, and this time, I wasn't just an aide. Though I was unsure how Beth would feel about me trying to date her other best friend, again, this was just a scenario I'd made up to give myself hope. I hoped to find someone who wanted to be with me again.

I had been okay on my own. I had been suppressing any thoughts of being with someone ever since completing my third stint in rehab. I had let Sean in, he surprised me and accepted me, but otherwise, I had pushed away the idea of having a partner because I feared getting hurt and relapsing. Protecting my sobriety was my top priority.

Time did not fly by as quickly as I had hoped, but Friday finally came around, and Beth showed up ready and excited to celebrate. I tried to keep my excitement tempered.

"Thanks for hosting me!" Beth exclaimed as she collapsed onto my couch.

"Thank you for the wine!" I smiled, cracking open the bottle and pouring us each a glass.

"It's the least I could do!" I handed her a glass of wine.

"Why is this show a secret exactly?" I asked as I sat next to her on the couch.

"We need to generate some buzz again and test out new material. The band has been writing like crazy and recording, but Travis and the label are nervous about risking it all if it doesn't turn out well. Travis, especially. And ultimately, they want to gauge the reaction of the fanbase."

"That's a lot of pressure... and the label knows it's a heavy burden to put on someone fresh out of rehab?" I took a sip of wine.

"Travis is putting more pressure on himself and the band than the label is. But I also think he might have relapsed... he's been withdrawn, and it worries me."

"Have you asked him? What about his counselor? What do they say?"

"He fired his counselor last week. He believed they were leaking information about him. The label doesn't think that's the case, but he's searching for a new one. Would you consider talking to him? Maybe be his counselor and sober friend?"

"Sober friend?" I chuckled, clinking my glass with hers. "Why me? He needs someone to be his sponsor and counselor. I'm sober in many ways, but not entirely."

"He's a friend," Beth said, sitting up and moving closer to me. "I want him back. I want him to want himself back, but I also want him on the right path."

"I understand all of that. I really do. But Travis needs to want it the most. Otherwise, it won't work."

"I get that... you should know I do, but I think he'll open up to you. He trusts you." She was persistent. "Why would he confide in me, a stranger, instead of you?" I questioned.

"Okay, don't hate me." She adjusted herself to face me and took hold of my free hand.

"What did you do?" I asked nervously.

"Travis asked me for your number after you met, and I told him he couldn't have it..."

"Oh, so you thought he wanted my number to ask me out?" I laughed at the absurdity of the situation, secretly hoping it was true. "He actually wanted help finding a place and recommendations for places to eat."

"What did you do?" I asked nervously.

"Travis asked for your number after you met, and I told him he couldn't have it..."

"Oh, you thought he wanted my number to ask me out?" I laughed at the ridiculousness but was hoping it was true. "He wanted help to find a place and for some tips on places to eat."

"No, he didn't. He liked you. He asked about you for like two weeks, but I told him 'no.'" She leaned back, closed her eyes, and winced as if I was going to yell at her.

"Well, you made the right call. He needs to stay sober for a year and a day, and he's not there yet."

"He's not just my responsibility; he's also a friend, and he genuinely likes you. He wanted your number." She seemed visibly nervous about my reaction.

"Oh, he had asked me for help finding an apartment, and I casually mentioned I'd help if he needed it." I laughed it off.

"No, Travis begged me for your number. He was interested in you, but I need him to stay on track."

"I... I think it was innocent. You did the right thing, though, if that's what you thought. He shouldn't be dating so soon."

"That's exactly what I thought." She chuckled at my disbelief.

"First, you shipped us when we met, so you set up the situation. But even if he did like me, it wouldn't be fair to tease him either." I eyed her playfully.

"Well, are you into him?"

"He was nice and attractive, but I was there to do a job. I thought nothing more of it." I lied. Beth, not wanting him to have anything to do with me didn't make me comfortable sharing my feelings.

"You can keep him in the friend zone if he tries to pursue you." Beth grinned, excited about her plan.

"What time should we head out?" I glanced at the clock, wanting to steer the conversation away from the topic of Travis.

"Can you be ready in an hour? We can take a car to and from. I can expense it." Beth smiled.

"You give me a deadline, and I'll meet it!" I said and made my way to the shower. I was contemplating what to wear in my head. I wanted to look hot without seeming like I was trying too hard.

Beth jumped in the shower after I was finished. I immediately exited the bathroom and hurriedly searched through my clothes, looking for the perfect outfit to wear

"So, if Travis says anything, you'll let me know?" Beth called out from the shower. I thought we had moved on from this topic.

"Why would you assume that someone, that you say likes me, would pour their heart out to me about things that are unattractive, for lack of a better word?" I questioned.

"You're right. I just assume your therapeutic voice works magic. And I'll do anything for my friends to make sure they're okay and help them."

"I know, Beth..." I sighed. She truly would go to great lengths. She was an incredible friend. I understood why she wanted this, but I also wanted to create some distance because I did like Travis. I just wanted to have a fun evening.

"I just want him to be okay. I can't go through what we went through with anyone else." Her voice cracked as she shouted to me, and I heard the water turn off.

"Well, the positive side of that experience is that I'm alive and have my life together now." I threw several outfit options onto the bed.

"Yes... of course." She emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. "But the anxiety and the worry. Were you really alive or dead? It took a toll on me. I would go through it all for Travis, but feeling helpless eats away at you. It keeps you awake at night..."

"I know we've had this conversation countless times, but I want you to know that you mean everything to me. I'm grateful to have such an incredible, caring, funny, and beautiful friend like you, who never gave up on me. You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. Even when I was a complete mess, you stood by my side. My love for you goes beyond words." I embraced her tightly, grateful for her unwavering support. Without her, I wouldn't be where I am today.

"I love you too. So much." Beth returned the embrace, and we held each other tightly.

"And Travis is fortunate to have you supporting him. You made the right call by not giving him my number."

"See, I'm learning!" She chuckled as we released each other.

We arrived at the venue, and Beth whisked me inside with her. The crowd was a mix of fans and industry people inside; big-label people, music directors, and DJs from the local radio stations were there. I felt the pressure to do well as soon as I walked in and I wasn't even performing. So, I could only imagine the pressure Travis and the band must be feeling.

The band took the stage and everyone was so excited. Beth took me to a balcony where the label had its section to watch the show. The lights illuminated the stage and caught Travis in its grips. As the lights captured Travis I immediately saw his demeanor change. He put on his mask, his stage persona, preparing to deliver an unforgettable show. Despite his outward confidence, I could still sense traces of nervousness.

I wanted everything to go smoothly. Smoothly for Beth and for the band and I wanted everyone in the room to love the songs they had put together. To give them the reassurance that they and their music were still loved. Second Class Heroes needed a win to give them a boost. It was a weird feeling to want the best for people I barely knew, Beth had rubbed off on me and my limited time with the band; they were great people.

The show ended with an insane amount of cheering and applause. The crowd was very generous and erupted in praise after every new song. The crowd was eating it up. Second Class Heroes sounded great, and their new material was amazing. I felt a sense of relief for them and the nervousness I was carrying for them to do well, hoping for their success all night was slowly dissipating. I finally felt like I could enjoy the night.

"I just need to take care of something with my boss, but I'll be right back," Beth whispered in my ear. I simply nodded, and she maneuvered through the crowd.

"Hey, stranger." I glanced to my right, and my heart skipped a beat, it was Travis.

"Oh, hey." I attempted to maintain my composure, but my voice cracked, and I couldn't have been further from cool. "Great show. The new stuff sounds fantastic." I smiled nervously.

"Thank you. Have you been avoiding the band and me tonight?" He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head, as if he had figured me out.

"Why would I?" I inquired, even though I had been doing exactly that. "I'm here as Beth's guest, so I'm just following her lead and going wherever she takes me."

"Good, just checking. I found a condo around here," he said, now standing in front of me, allowing us to converse face-to-face.

"That's amazing! Where?" I made an effort to restrain myself from going too far, attempting to be cool. I didn't want to try too hard to be cool either, sometimes when I did that I ended up being mean and it was off putting.

"Greenpoint, right on the water. It felt more like my vibe."

"Congratulations! I love Greenpoint. I have plenty of recommendations for places there. And in about two weeks, we'll sort of be neighbors. I'm moving to Long Island City." I tried to flirt without being too obvious, but I feared I was failing and sounding rather insane with my rapid speech.

"Well, you'll have to show me around all those places once we're neighbors... but let's keep it our little secret from Beth." Maybe I had a knack for flirting?

"Why can't we tell Beth?" I smiled, pretending I knew nothing.

"Beth doesn't want me hanging out with you." He took a sip of his beer, looking at me with an incredulous expression, as if he didn't believe I was clueless about the situation.

"Oh, that's ridiculous. I don't buy it." I laughed dismissively.

"No, seriously... let's ask her." He suggested, and I noticed Beth making her way through the crowd.

"Hey! Sorry, had to catch up with the boss," She greeted both of us with a smile.

"Am I allowed to get dinner with Adele?" He asked her bluntly. I didn't expect him to be so direct and upfront. I assumed he would chat with me and her a little before bringing it up.

"Allowed? I'm not your mother, Travis." She snapped a bit.

"Beth..." He drew out her name, waiting for her to relent and reveal the truth.

"It's not about Del. It's about focusing on your sobriety and getting a record for the label. Distractions need to remain at a minimum."

"I am going to let you guys talk this out..." I felt very awkward and caught in the middle of a brother and sister fight. I turned to walk away.

"No, Adele, stay..." Travis gently touched my arm to get me to turn around.

"I don't want to." I cringed, but he held my arm loosely and I didn't want a scene.

"So, Beth, how long do I need to stay in isolation?" He tried to sound upbeat and change the tone of the conversation, even if it still wasn't positive.

"I'm not your keeper, and I'm not your manager. I'm your friend and your label representative. I can't control your actions. I can only try to keep you on track with what you've promised and what's best for you. Whether you listen to me or not, that's up to you. I'm not a puppet master," Beth explained firmly.

"But you told me I could not contact Adele, did you not?" Travis responded. He was enjoying getting Beth riled up and uncomfortable.

"Yes, but again, it's not because it was Del or that she's my friend. You agreed to an album in four months. You put that pressure on yourself and are just fresh into your sobriety." She hushed herself when mentioning sobriety.

"I just want to make sure you stay on track. The fewer stressors, the better, and you agreed in your program you would not date for 13 months." She chided.

"You're right... you're not my manager or my mom. You have been on our team for over 12 years, but I don't see you as work. You're family and one of my best friends. I am not trying to be cocky; that always catches up to me, but I'm committed to this. I want you to trust me. I just want to get the lay of the land in my new neighborhood." Travis sounded very sincere.

"I trust you. I do." Beth relented and hugged Travis.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." I laughed. "Does that mean you don't trust me?" I laughed, feigning offense.

"I don't trust you." She laughed and tried to hug me.

"Get out of here." I pushed her off and laughed as she finally hugged me.

"I'm sorry. I just worry." Beth admitted.

"I know what will make you not worry. Want to see my new place? It's finally fully furnished." Travis squeezed Beth around the shoulders.

"You know I'm nosy, so yes!" Beth said excitedly.

"I'll see you later?" I whispered to Beth. I didn't want to assume I'd be invited.

"You don't want to join us?" Travis asked with a grin.

"I just didn't want to invite myself." I was feeling super awkward after everything transpired with me right in the middle.

"You're always invited. You can point out places I need to check out in my neighborhood."

"Let's go then."

Travis wanted to check-in with his bandmates and Charlie, to see if anyone else was ready to leave and hangout. I watched him as he crossed the room to them. He was so handsome and tall. I knew I was staring, but I couldn't help it.

I watched as he greeted the group and the love he had for them was evident and vice versa. Shortly after going over to talk to the group, I saw him hug everyone, and he started walking back to where Beth and I stood along with Max. Max must have been the lone bandmate that was up to hanging out or at the very least leaving this schmooze fest.

"Max is joining us." Travis smiled and patted Max on the back.

"Let's get it going!" Max gestured with his hand, urging us to move.

Beth ordered an extra large car to discreetly pick us up at the back of the building, avoiding unnecessary attention. We climbed into the vehicle, Beth and Max settled in the back row, while Travis and I took separate seats in the front. The silence felt awkward. I just gazed out of the window to keep myself occupied and not say something dumb to break the silence. I was hoping someone else would pipe up.

"Have either of you been to Travis's new space before?" Max asked, finally breaking the tension.

"No! I am so excited to see it, though! And to have him closer to me on the East Coast!" Beth said, leaning forward and rubbing Travis's shoulders.

"Should we be worried about unannounced visits to the studio to get progress reports?" Max teased.

"I shan't say another word to keep you both on your toes." She grinned wickedly.

"You should not have given her the idea, Max." I laughed, looking back at both of them.

The rest of the ride was nice and not as awkward as when we started our journey. We arrived at Travis's building and it was gorgeous and fresh. I just stared up at it as we got out of the van. Travis led the way into the building and to the elevator. He hit the button labeled 'PH-1,' of course, he had bought the penthouse.

Travis gave us a quick tour. It was massive and beautifully decorated. Everyone went out onto the roof, where they were going to turn on the heaters and the fire pit. I stayed and stared out a window between the floors and the rooftop. As soon as I saw it and the view, I had to stop and take it in.

I heard someone coming back down the stairs, but I don't know how long I had been standing and staring at this point. I turned to see Travis coming down the stairs.

"This place is gorgeous," I said. "This view is incredible." The large window overlooked the water and had a clear view of the city skyline. I'm sure it was the same view on the roof, but at least inside it was still warm.

"I know, right?" Travis handed me a glass of wine and stood beside me to look at the city, too.

"You want to join us on the roof? Or are you good to stay down here and stare?" He asked with no judgment.

"Sorry, just got in a daze," I apologized, taking a step back to create some space between us.

"I haven't been here long, but as of now, this is my favorite spot. I just lean on the ledge and stare too."

"With that view, I'd get a hammock in the window." I sipped my wine nervously.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have put you in the middle like that." His eyes were on me.

"When you were making your point to Beth?" I glanced at him.

"Yeah, she's just... it's hard to feel the pressure from her as a friend and from her as my label rep. I get why both exist, but it's just a lot at once."

"She cares about you so much." I turned my body to face him directly. "She means well, and I know she also protects you from so much label pressure. She's got your back, but she's got a lot on her plate, too."

"I know. I am going to apologize to Beth too... You're so easy to talk to. I hate it." He sighed, and I could feel my cheeks blush.

"My bad." I smiled, not knowing what else to do. I felt stuck in the middle. If I didn't have Beth, him being recently sober, and me not openly sharing my own sobriety journey, I'd be a lot more chill and confident, but I was having such a hard time with all the plates in the air.

"I just have to be careful, sadly. And, I guess, because I trust Beth, I trust you."

"The guy that has known me for 5 minutes trusts me, and my best friend of decades doesn't," I said sarcastically, and he laughed.

"But you can trust me. I keep secrets." Which was not meant to sound as incriminating as it came out, but I was good at it.

"Good. Me too." He held up his glass, and I clinked my glass to his.

"Beth's worried you've relapsed because you've been distant lately," I said after a long silence.

"I swear, I haven't. I've been writing and focusing on music as I should. When I'm not doing that, I am at meetings and therapy. Just getting talked out a lot lately."

"I get that. Hard for me to get talked out though, because it's my job." I put a hand on his arm to show my support.

"I'm committed." He said genuinely and I felt it.

"You got this... Let's get upstairs before Beth worries about us." I gently guided him to turn and go up the stairs behind us.

"Can I have your number?" Travis asked as we got to the top of the stairs.

"Sure," I said, maybe a little too quickly. I was trying to play it cool. I gave him my number and wanted to freak out with excitement, but contained it. I gave him a small smile and we went onto the roof to join Max and Beth.

"You're back!" Beth shouted giddily; she was drunk.

"Max, you got Beth nice and toasted." I laughed as Beth hugged us both excitedly.

"I was afraid you two were making out." She pointed between Travis and me.

"Oh my god," I muttered. "We're all just friends here," I said to ease her mind, but I immediately regretted using the word friends.

"Well, you all are friends, and I'm just getting to know everyone." I quickly added.

"Trav, you cannot make out with Del." Beth said firmly and then pulled Travis to sit on a chair and stood in front of him.

"Wow, you really don't trust me." I laughed while sitting down. Beth joined me on the couch, and Travis just laughed at her.

"You said you trusted me, Bethy." Travis was next to me in the chair. I glanced over at him, and he smiled.

"I do. But Del's my friend."

"Now you see why I never ask her to be my wing-woman." I teased her, hoping we could move on from this topic.

"I definitely will not be using your services, either." Travis chimed in.

"Do you guys want to make out? I can be a better wing person." Beth said, sounding like she felt bad she was coming between us. I am sure I was beet red.

"No more for you." I took her glass from her hands gently, and I got up heading toward the door to go back inside. I brought the glass downstairs with me.

I was so embarrassed. I know my face and my blushing made it obvious that I had a crush on him. I definitely did not want him to know that or think I had ulterior motives. It's possible he already knew, from when we were in Boston. I did a lot of blushing and panicking, but this now had Beth coming over top. I wanted to cry, but I just let the anxiety wash over me and sucked t

I dumped Beth's wine into the sink in the kitchen and just held myself up on the counter, trying to calm down. I had to get it together before I went back upstairs.

"Hey, you okay?" Travis asked, coming behind me and putting his hand on my back and standing beside me.

I glanced at Travis and my mind went blank and my heart started to pound. Him touching me felt like electricity. I took a deep breath before I answered him.

"Just a little embarrassed." I said, my voice a little shakier than I wanted. "I didn't expect things to get so... awkward." I turned toward him and he let his hand skim my body as I did.

"I'm sorry you're feeling uncomfortable. But, as you said earlier, Beth's got a lot on her plate. I also probably shouldn't have confronted her about not being able to go out with you...it may have been my fault for putting it into her head." Travis kept his hand on my hip.

"Not your fault." I said, glancing down and then meeting his gaze again. He was going to kiss me. I felt his hand pull me gently toward him, and he leaned down.

"I can't," I blurted, flustered. "I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. I'm sorry... I should've read the room." His laughter lightened the tension.

"We're good." I reassured him with a smile.

"Let's not tell Beth." He kissed the side of my head. "Especially not now. She'd hate me."

"She would never. I can't tell you the shit we've been through, and she's still here." I laughed.

"Do tell." He smiled, and the awkwardness had dissipated by just talking to him. He made you feel like the only person he found interesting.

"I said I was good at secrets." I reminded him.

"Well, now you must show me all the places around here, and I'll get this info out of you." He was slick- asking me out, but not really.

"Oh, so you think you can get me drunk and I'll tell you all my secrets?" I eyed him putting a little space between us.

"I just think you'll have so much fun, you'll want to tell me." He said cockily.

"I will have to see about that... You can take me out, but you'll never get my secrets." I didn't mean to accept his proposition outright. I meant to be witty and say 'cause I like a free meal,' but I accepted his date, and now he had to know I was interested.

"I'll do some research and surprise you." I gave him a thumbs up because I was unsure what to do.

"But it's not a date... I can't date." He followed up quickly, probably thinking I'd tell Beth.

"Good to know the context of our meeting." I laughed.

I motioned to Travis that maybe we should head back upstairs, I turned and followed Travis back up to the roof to retrieve Beth and take her home. Walking onto the roof, I saw Beth sitting on the couch with her head resting on Max's shoulder. They looked cute and I couldn't help but smile at the sight, even if I was annoyed with her.

"Okay, friend, it's time," I said, trying to sound lighthearted as I approached them.

Beth lifted her head and blinked a few times, she was drunker than I had realized. I had forgotten she had a few shots with people at the event, so it was making more sense on how she went from zero to one hundred so quickly.

"But Max's shoulder is comfortable," She pouted and nuzzled her head even more on his shoulder. Max laughed a bit and kept Beth close to him with his arm around her.

"My shoulder is always here for you Beth, but I'm exhausted and am gonna head home," She pouted, nuzzling her head even closer to him. Max laughed and held her close, his arm around her.

Beth sighed and nodded. She stood up, swaying slightly, and I offered her a steadying hand. Max followed suit and stood behind her, ready to catch her if needed. I quietly thanked Max for his help.

"Thank you all. I love you so much," Beth said with a slight giggle.

Travis walked in front of Beth and Max behind her just in case as we walked down the stairs. She wasn't that far gone, but she was also tired and falling asleep. We didn't need her slipping and falling down the stairs.

As I followed them downstairs and toward the door, I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. Travis had asked me out, even if it wasn't technically a date. I had butterflies of anticipation and I wanted to tell Beth everything, but tonight wasn't going to be that night..

I bundled Beth back up in her jacket and scarf, and then mine as well. We stepped out into the cool night air. I put Beth on a bench out in front of the building and I turned to Travis and Max to thank them. "Thank you so much for helping me with Beth."

"Of course, you think you got this animal the rest of the way?" Max laughed as we glanced over and Beth had curled up and asleep on the bench.

"I've got her for sure, this isn't my first rodeo," I smiled.

"We'll wait with you till your car comes and I can put her inside for you," Travis offered.

"I'll crack the whip on her to wake up and get her in the car. It's cold and we don't have a fire pit out here...and you both just have t-shirts on," I motioned between them, pointing to their thin t-shirts.

It was the beginning of March, so it was still cold and not at all spring-like yet. It had been fine on the roof with the heaters and fire pit, but being away from that was not pleasant.

"It's definitely nippy out, but we can manage till your car arrives," Max rubbed his arms for warmth.

"Our car is here," I said as I saw on my app that he was about to turn down the street. I went to rouse Beth. "Come on, babe, our car is here," I gently shook her shoulder and she spring up,

Travis and Max helped her into the back of the car and put her seatbelt on.

Travis came around the car and opened my door for me. "Thank you," I said looking up at him.

"Nothing I haven't done before." He smiled. "I'll text you so I can find out all of your secrets."

"I'm a steel vault," I teased as I got into the car.

"Well, I guess I'll have to keep trying until I can crack the code," Travis replied, making me blush even more. I knew I couldn't blame it on the weather for my rosy cheeks.

Travis closed the door behind me, and I watched him standing there with a faint smile on his face. I couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement. What had happened between us felt like the beginning of something, and I couldn't deny that I was intrigued. But, I couldn't tell Beth and I had to be realistic and keep it within the realm of friendship with Travis.

As the car drove away, I turned to Beth, who had somehow fallen back to sleep in minutes. I couldn't help but chuckle at her disheveled appearance. I brushed a strand of hair away from her face and let her sleep.

I stared out the window and watched the city lights blur. My mind was consumed with thoughts of Travis. I was so confused and yet excited by him and the prospect of hanging out and seeing him again.

The car pulled up to my apartment building, and I gently shook Beth awake. "Hey, we're home," I whispered. She groggily opened her eyes and stretched and yawned.

"I'm awake!" She said, her voice thick with sleep.

"Let's get you inside and into bed."

We stumbled through the front door and into the elevator, both of us giggling like schoolgirls. Beth leaned against me for support as we walked up the two sets of stairs. Thankfully, I was only on the second floor. Once inside my apartment, I guided her to my bedroom, she would not be served well by staying on my couch tonight. I helped her change into comfortable pajamas before tucking her into bed.

"You're the best," she mumbled, her eyes already closing.I left my room and quietly closed the door behind me. I tiptoed to the living room and sank down onto the couch.

Sitting alone on the couch, I grabbed a throw blanket and wrapped it around me, trying to warm up from the chill from outside. I settled in and stared at the ceiling for a bit hoping to fall asleep, but I was too wired and the apartment felt empty without the buzz of the evening. The events of the night replayed in my mind. I had felt a connection right away with Travis, but felt delusional. But, it was reconfirmed tonight; it felt undeniable. The way he had looked at me, the gentle touch of his hand, and him trying to kiss me. It was a feeling I hadn't experienced in a long time, but still was second guessing it all. Travis was a huge celebrity and maybe he just was a tease, but I was open to find out. We would see if he actually followed through on inviting me on a "non-date."