The New Struggle

Chapter 2

I fix my make-up in the mirror and make sure you can’t see the redness upon my cheek from where Derek just slapped me. I fix my flouncy outfit and walk out of my dressing room. I pass by the rooms of the other girls, the ones who are actually old enough for this. Their outfits, I realize, are not nearly revealing as mine. Great, Derek wasn’t kidding when he said he picked it out just for me. My outfits usually consist of tight leather and a lot of feathers. But this one was different. It wasn’t as tight as they usually are, but it was more revealing. It was a black crop top that was cut extremely low to show off my cleavage, no bra, Derek’s rules. The shorts were longer on me than normal, they actually covered my entire butt. But they were tight, leather and black, Derek’s favorite look on me so far. I pass Trina’s room and hear some crying, which is unusual. I slow down but only for a brief moment to hear what is going on.
“I can’t believe he would lie to me like this, he told me he loved me.” It really isn’t any of my business so I keep walking. Her boyfriend must have left her or something, I know she always talked about him but he never came around. I keep walking down the hallway toward the entrance to the stage when I am stopped by Genine.
“Hey there girl, you up next?” She asks me.
“Sure am, otherwise I wouldn’t be caught dead in this outfit,” I gesture toward myself and Genine laughs.
She then notices the diamond around my neck, “Holly shit Fall, that is an amazing rock you got there,” Fall is what all my co-workers call me, short for Faline.
I nod in agreement, “It really is.”
“Who is this secret admirer you have who continues to give you extravagant gifts?”
“I don’t really know Genine, I wish I did,” that was a lie, but I give her a convincing smile despite the truth, “I should go, I’m supposed to be on right now.”
“Right sorry Fall, oh hey Derek said he has a surprise for you if you have a good show tonight.”
I roll my eyes at her and she laughs and walks back into her room. Great, what does he want now? I walk up the stairs and hear Derek start to announce my name. I walked out onto the stage, like I do every day, and straight to Derek. He was still standing on the stage which was unusual for him. I give him and the crowd of men seated in front of me a huge smile. Yet, Derek doesn’t leave. Derek leans over and whispers in my ear, “If you reject what is about to happen to you, you’ll be out of a job.”
I was stunned at what Derek had just told me, but I keep the smile upon my face the best I can. What the hell is he doing? Derek turns his attention back to the crowd.
“Tonight will be Faline’s last performance with us here at The Bar,” he said out to the crowd, “For tonight her whole life changes from here on.” I give him a side glance, trying to figure out what sort of plan he has going on here. But he just smirks my way and goes back at it, “Faline has worked for me for only a year, but in that year I have fallen I love with her,” the crowd goes wild. Whistling and cat calling, yelling at Derek to ‘get it’. I look up at Derek. There is no way he could go through with something this crazy, could he? I take a step back but only enough to regain my balance. What was he about to do? He looks at me and I just smile at him, like I’m supposed to do when I’m on stage.
“Faline will be leaving us because she will soon be mine, and will no longer have to work for me. I don’t need her flaunting anything out here for you when I could have her all to myself if you know what I mean!” Again the cheering and cat calls start up, Pigs. “So I’m going to make sure she stays mine, for forever,” Derek puts the microphone back on the stand and turns on his mic that is attached to him. He turns toward me with that creepy smile of his, and pulls something out of his pocket. Oh no… He proceeds to get down on one knee.
“Faline,” he says as he opens the box, “Will you marry me?”

̴

Derek’s words ring in my ears, will you marry me? I don’t want to marry him; I don’t like him let alone love him! But the thing he whispered in my ear before he started talking floods my mind, if you reject…you’ll be out of a job. This was so overwhelming; I didn’t know what to do. The men in the audience start to chant for me to say no and keep my job for them, I can see Derek smirk at this but then smile that creepy sinister smile at me. I don’t know what to say, I have to keep this job, it’s all I have. But I don’t want to marry him. I tear up, trying so hard to fight it back, I don’t want them to think I want this.
“Faline,” Derek says into his mic, “Are you crying?” My hands quickly wipe the tears away from my eyes and I try to control myself, but the tears are too quick for me to continue to wipe them away. I can’t say a word, so I simply nod my head in defeat.
“Faline, I think the crowd wants to hear you say it,” he says with his side smile on his face. Shit. I bite my lip and close my eyes tightly and apologize to my parents in my head, I never wanted any of this.
“Yes Derek,” I say as I open my eyes, “I will marry you.”

̴

What had I just consented to? I think to myself as I come off the stage after my performance. I look at my hand, the rock on my finger looks like a giant eye-sore to me. But as soon as I’m back stage I am crowded by the other girl’s googling over the ring. I give a smile and a nod and try to quickly walk to my dressing room, but I am stopped by Genine.
“Alright girl, there is no way you didn’t see that coming.” She says to me with a smirk.
I shrug at her, “I really didn’t Genine.” She grabs my hand and pulls me into my dressing room.
“Girl, I saw that coming the day you started working here.”
I give her a nod and sigh, “I know you did, but I didn’t really think he would do it. Especially that way.”
She takes my hand and looks at the ring, “Damn Fall, that is huge.”
“Yeah I know. It’s actually too gaudy for me,” I slide the ring off my finger and hold it in the palm of my hand. There is no way this could be really happening to me. I hear a soft knock on the door. I quickly slide the ring back on my finger and look up at Genine. She just nods at me and goes to hide in my closet.
“Come in,” I say. The door opens slowly and it is Derek who enters.
“Well, you look gorgeous with that ring on your finger.”
I give him a snort, “You would think so.”
“Oh trust me,” he says and walks up right in front of me and softly caresses my cheek, “I most certainly do.” I pull my cheek away from him and turn to walk over to my vanity. I start fixing my make-up, even though I know I’m not going on again. He comes up behind me and starts to massage my shoulders. He creeps me out so much, I hate it. I cringe and swat his hands away from my shoulders. I knew in the back of my mind I shouldn’t have done it, but I did anyway. I look into the mirror at him after I had done it. He was at first stunned, then his eyes filled with rage. Fuck. He grabs ahold of my hair and yanks me backward. The chair I’m sitting in comes with me and we both crash to the ground hard.
“Selfish little bitch,” he says and spits at me, “You should be grateful to me, I leave my wife for you, I try to give you the world yet you are selfish and conceded and think you’re too good for me.” I try to crawl away as he is yelling these harsh words at me, but I don’t get far. He grabs me by my arm and flips me over onto my back. I look at him; I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this pissed off before. Before I know what is happening I’m yanked onto my feet and pressed into the corner of the room. “I should have done this a long time ago,” he growled into my ear. He pins my arms above my head and pushes his lips to mine. His lips on mine feel so disgusting, worse than him just touching me in general. But I can’t move, he has me pinned. He slowly moves his kissing down my jawline and onto my neck. I shiver in disgust; I just want the hell away from him. Tears well up in my eyes, but I can’t let him see my weakness. I whip my head away from him, trying to get an advantage but it only fueled his lust. I try to adjust my legs, hoping to get a good shot at him, but he flattens me against the wall with his body. His hands let go of my wrists, since I’m pinned against the wall, and starts to let them explore my body. I literally almost throw up at the thought of him touching my body, but now he is actually doing it.
“Leave her alone!” I hear someone scream. Genine! All of a sudden Derek’s body went limp and fell to the floor. He was knocked out! I look up to see that Genine had found a prop cane we use sometimes in our shows to hit him with.
“Thanks Gen,” I step over Derek’s limp body toward her, “I totally owe you one!”
“No thanks needed darling, someone had to save you from that creep!”
“I still owe you one,” I look over at Derek laying on the floor, “Is he going to be okay?”
“To be honest who cares,” I look at her shocked, “But yes he will be fine.” He starts to move and moan, “Shit.”
“Damn it,” I say and look around frantically for my bag.
“Fall you gotta get out of here!”
I run over to the vanity and grab my bag from underneath, “I know Gen but I have to have this.”
“If you leave anything else call me and I can get it to you, just promise me you won’t come back here and you definitely won’t marry this creep.”
I nod my head at her as I rush out the door. I couldn’t stand to be in that room any longer. I stay in the building just long enough to see Gen slip into her dressing room just before Derek woke up.

̴

I know I’ll be very early for the bus, so I just decide to walk home. The wind was cold against my body, but I didn’t care. I needed to go home. I was just hoping that the fire in the fireplace hadn’t gone out yet, then the pipes would freeze. I walked up to the door of the apartment and rested my forehead on the door. What if this was the last time I was here? What would happen to this place? I shake the thought from my head and unlock the door. A slightly warm gust hits my body as I enter the door. I sit my things on the bed and look at the fire, it’s almost out. I grab my coat and head outside.
Quickly but not rushing it I gather branches and brush to help get the fire started. I walk through the woods collecting every small branch and leaf I can to help get the fire going again. As I near the road I hear a car drive by the lot, but not too far down the road it stopped. I duck down into the brush so they can’t see me. I’m too far into the woods they wouldn’t be able to see me anyway, but just as precaution I hide. I can clearly see three people total. One a woman with red hair, pale, and quite slender. She wore sunglasses in the middle of winter and a quite obviously expensive fur coat. There was something about her that I recognized but I couldn’t pin point it. Another a man tall and on the leaner side stood behind her. I was going to guess they were together but I couldn’t say for sure. The third a shorter man, no taller than the woman, and he was in quite a rounded shape. He looked like he was showing them around. This worried me deeply, if they sell the land I’ll lose my home. But this has happened before, and I always had the best way to scare them off, hopefully this will still work.
I bring the brush inside and throw it on the fire to get it going again. I sprint to the closet; I have a very specific outfit for this type of occasion. I throw on the white dress, covered in hair dye and blood, it was the only outfit I had to hunt in after my parents died. Luckily my father had shown me how before the disappearance. I smudge my make-up with a dirty cloth I had laying around. I walk outside and realize my hair is still sort of “done-up”. I quick find a bush and jump into it. It’s thorny and hurts, but I have to do what I can to keep this place my own. Hoping one day my parents will return. Now covered in pricks and scratches, and my hair all a mess, it is time to go defend my land. I go a few feet to the side of where the people are standing. I ensure that I am extra quiet when stepping out onto the street; can’t risk them seeing me. There is no one else around, per usual. I ensure I look the part I am playing quickly before I start to approach the group of people.
As I approach I can hear them talking, “I really like this lot,” the woman said.
“I don’t know about it hun. Think of the construction we would have to do, and it’s a good hour drive into town for work,” the man replied.
“You know for your budget this lot would be the best bet to get all you’re looking for. Build the whole lot to your specifications,” the round man said. The couple mumble back and forth for a bit, now is my time.
“Excuse me,” I say as I approach, “But have you seen my parents?” All three of them look at me in bewilderment. The woman looks at what I assume is her husband in horror.
She looks back at me stunned, “No we haven’t, are you lost?” I nod my head and look around trying to act confused.
I turn my head toward the woods, “Where did the apartment go?”
“What apartment?” the salesman asked.
“My parents’ apartment used to be right here,” I say, “We lived here for years,” I start to force tears out.
“I was about to move out,” I say, then I realize I was still wearing the ring. “I was going to get married,” I held up my hand so they could see the ring.
“This has to be some sort of hoax,” the salesman said, “There haven’t been any apartment complexes over this way for years.” They all turn their attention toward the woods, this was my chance.
I slowly whisper, “This is where I died, and they will get you too!” Then I disappear into the brush before they see or hear me. I huddle down so they can’t see me, I watch them closely.
“Where did she go?” the woman asked.
“I don’t know,” the man said, “But I think we should look at some other lots for now.” He puts his arm around his wife and turns her toward the car.
“I’m sure it was just some kid trying to play tricks,” the salesman said. They all retreat to their car and leave. I stand up and head back toward my house. If they come back, I don’t know what I will do.

̴

My head is spinning; I don’t know what to do about all of this. About Derek, about my home, how am I going to keep this together with all this stress? When I step inside I just lose it. I shut the door behind me and let the tears roll down my face. I hear the crackling of the fire in the background. The apartment is completely silent. No movement, no noise from the fire. I wonder if my life would have been better off if I had taken Derek’s offer sooner. I sit on the bed wondering what life would be like if my parents never left me. But did they leave me? Or were they taken away from me? The hard part about that question is that I will never know the answer. I cling to the picture of my parents as I sob on the bed. I don’t know what to do for work now. I feel so helpless. I wipe my eyes off and look at the picture of my parents. I sit the picture on the bed beside me and look all around the room. I know my parents would have wanted better for me. But I don’t want to risk them coming back and I’m not here. My heart says stay, but my mind and body say you can’t live like this for forever. I hold the picture of my parents in my hands, “I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

̴

My bags are almost full. I grab the last of my things, and shut the suitcase. I change into the only nice outfit I still owned; then I sit on my parents now empty bed and watch the fire slowly go out. Once it’s down to just the burning embers I splash some water on them. I don’t want to completely lose this place. I grab the picture of my parents. I hug it to my chest and place it in my suitcase. This part of my life has to end. I grab my two bags and suitcase and walk to the door. I turn to look at the empty one room apartment that me and my parents once shared. I take a deep breath to keep the tears from streaming down my face. I close the door and lock it behind me. This is the second hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I slip the keys into a pocket of my purse and walk out of the woods. I walk in silence, sulking all the way to the bus stop. The man from this morning is still sitting here. He still reeks of alcohol, nothing unusual here though.
“Hey there darlin’, where you off to?” he asked me.
“I’m going to a new place,” I reply.
“A new place?” he asks, “Like where?”
I sigh, “I’m going to find a new home.”
“Well good for you kid, you deserve better.”
It is then that the bus arrives, “Well if I ever come out this way, I’ll be sure to stop by.”
“Thanks hun,” he said as I stepped onto the bus.