Status: Weekly updates - planning a rewrite for the earlier chapters soon
Wilted
Camellia
“How did you sleep last night?” Rachel asked as we sat in the coffee shop she’d brought me to only a couple of days before.
I sipped at the tea Rachel had adamantly demanded I get. She was paying and I deserved a treat, apparently.
“Weirdly.” I replied, thinking about where the line of personal experiences lay between us. Could I let her see some of the crazy?
“How so?” She continued. Rachel’s voice was never probing, never insistent when it came to talks like this. She was so patient and lovely without trying. I would imagine she had the personality that made a good friend, something I should really learn from.
I stirred another sugar cube into my already sweet tea. “I was more asleep with my eyes open. Like, I knew I was awake but at the same time I felt asleep.” I explained thinking back to the six hours I spent staring at that blank canvas. It felt like a lifetime and only a few seconds at the same time.
Rachel pursed her lips in thought. “Honestly, you were probably asleep. It was likely a very vivid dream due to the medication. It can happen a lot.”
“But then I must have dreamt I was sat in my apartment with time passing. That seems more like a real thing that a dream, surely?”
Rachel shook her head, “You’re just so used to the passing of time in your flat. The way everything happens in there since you don’t change your scenery often. Your brain just filled in the natural progression of time.”
Damn, she’s smart.
Rachel laughed politely. “Thanks.”
Fuck’s sake. I really need to learn when I’m mummering and when it’s internal thoughts.
“Sorry.” I grimaced.
She shrugged, “More people do it than you think.”
“Make a tit of themselves?”
Rachel laughed again, this time with more honesty to it. “Not at all! It’s not just the people I care for either, even I think aloud.”
“I guess I just punish myself more for it.”
“Why Kat.” Rachel said with a playful gasp, “It seems you’re actually making progress.”
I scoffed and took a sip of tea to hide the small smile.
I sipped at the tea Rachel had adamantly demanded I get. She was paying and I deserved a treat, apparently.
“Weirdly.” I replied, thinking about where the line of personal experiences lay between us. Could I let her see some of the crazy?
“How so?” She continued. Rachel’s voice was never probing, never insistent when it came to talks like this. She was so patient and lovely without trying. I would imagine she had the personality that made a good friend, something I should really learn from.
I stirred another sugar cube into my already sweet tea. “I was more asleep with my eyes open. Like, I knew I was awake but at the same time I felt asleep.” I explained thinking back to the six hours I spent staring at that blank canvas. It felt like a lifetime and only a few seconds at the same time.
Rachel pursed her lips in thought. “Honestly, you were probably asleep. It was likely a very vivid dream due to the medication. It can happen a lot.”
“But then I must have dreamt I was sat in my apartment with time passing. That seems more like a real thing that a dream, surely?”
Rachel shook her head, “You’re just so used to the passing of time in your flat. The way everything happens in there since you don’t change your scenery often. Your brain just filled in the natural progression of time.”
Damn, she’s smart.
Rachel laughed politely. “Thanks.”
Fuck’s sake. I really need to learn when I’m mummering and when it’s internal thoughts.
“Sorry.” I grimaced.
She shrugged, “More people do it than you think.”
“Make a tit of themselves?”
Rachel laughed again, this time with more honesty to it. “Not at all! It’s not just the people I care for either, even I think aloud.”
“I guess I just punish myself more for it.”
“Why Kat.” Rachel said with a playful gasp, “It seems you’re actually making progress.”
I scoffed and took a sip of tea to hide the small smile.