Gerard's Little Side

*Flashback* Gerard's P.O.V.

I was leaving Sue's diner.
I locked the door and started heading down the street.
I was halfway home when I walked under a broken street lamp.
It was dark and I was suddenly being pulled into an alleyway.
I couldn't see anything.
I was terrified.
I felt a tightness in my chest.
Strong hands grabbed me and yanked my pants down.
I tried to fight them.
I tried to scream.
My mouth was covered and I couldn't do anything to stop them.
They pressed my body against the wall of the alley and lifted me up.
My screams were muffled and I was trying so hard to be heard.
They punched me in the stomach to cry and shut me up.
Next they hit my face.
They hit me until my face was numb.
I was numb.
I was dropped to the ground like an object.
They walked away.
It took all the strength I could muster to stand up and get my pants back onto my body.
My phone was in my pocket, but I didn't bother calling anyone.
The person didn't steal anything, but my dignity.
I felt so alone.
So broken.
I was hoping and wishing that none of it happened.
I found my way to Danny and Eric's place.
I made it through the door.
I collapsed.

-

I remember waking up with a breathing mask. I was in the back of an ambulance. I passed out again.
When I woke up again, I was in a room.
I passed out again and Danny was there when I woke up.

-

I went home about two weeks later. I wasn't strong enough to get out of the bed. I had internal bleeding and needed a blood transfusion. I was tired when Danny took me back to his place.
All I wanted to do was sleep. And so I did.
I laid in bed and felt worthless. I didn't have any will to live.
Danny or Eric would bring me food in the middle of the day to make sure I ate at least once.
I only left the room to go to the bathroom or take a shower.
I also left to wash my clothes, but for the most part, I just laid in bed and let time pass me by.

-

Danny came into my room one day and opened the window.
"Why don't you get up? We can go somewhere." He suggested.
"I don't want to get up." I mumbled. I turned away from the window and pulled the blanket above my head.
"Gerard. You cant just sit in here and waste away."
"What does it matter to you?"
"I care about you. You're my little brother."
I uncovered my face. I sat up and looked at him.
He came over and sat on the edge of my bed.
"You're strong. You'll get through this." He patted my leg then stood back up. "Come get some lunch." He said as he left.

-

I walked out of my room and went to the kitchen. The smell of bacon and eggs cooking was overwhelming.
Eric and Danny both had the day off today. It was weird having them take care of, but it was also so comforting. I was happy they cared, but they couldn't fill the void of unhappiness in my chest at all points in time. I felt sad and miserable.
I wanted to hug Danny, but I didn't want to be touched and to be hurt. I just wanted someone to hold me. Danny turned in my direction and said, "Are you okay?" He stepped away from the stove and wrapped an arm around me. He was cautious. Waiting to see if I would pull away from him.
"I'm not gonna hurt you, buddy."
I hugged him back and said, "I'm sorry." I buried my face in his neck and started to cry. I hadn't cried in so long. All the emotions were rushing out of me and I felt so drained. "I'm so sorry."
"Why are you apologizing, baby?"
"I'm so weak and I'm so stupid and and-"
Danny cut me off. "You are not weak, sweetheart. You are one of the strongest people I know."
"No 'm not." I whined.
"You are so so strong. Don't ever think you aren't. I love you so much."
I just cried harder. I felt myself being lifted off of the ground. I instinctively wrapped my legs around Danny. I kept my arm wrapped around his neck and took my other arm/hand down so that I could suck my thumb.
Danny just held me and swayed. "It's all gonna be okay, baby."

- no p.o.v. -

Eric came into the room and said, "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah." Danny gave a weak smile and looked towards the bacon. "Can you take care of that?"
"Yeah." He replied. Eric turned towards the stove and moved the bacon around, ensuring it was cooking properly.
"Daddy?" Gerard's voice was quiet.
Danny rubbed Gerard's back. "What's up, buddy?"
"Can we go watch some cartoons?" He kept his voice at the same low level.
"Sure." Danny carried him into the living room.
He sat down after grabbing the remote and turned the tv on.
Nickjr was already on and an episode of Paw Patrol was playing.
Gerard moved so that he was nestled in Danny's side. He wanted to be as close as possible to Danny, but he also really wanted to watch his show.
"Daddy. When is lunch gonna be ready? I'm hungry." He wiped his eyes.
"It'll be done soon."
Eric came halfway into the living room and said, "Dan. Can you come help me really quick?"
"I'll be right back, lion." Danny got up and kissed Gerard's head. "Just watch your show, okay?"
"Kay." Gerard mumbled, keeping his eyes on the television.
Danny left the room.
The episode ended and commercials were playing.
Gerard looked towards the kitchen.
He could hear Danny and Eric speaking to each other in hushed voices. Gerard got up and slowly walked near the entryway.
Eric sounded a little upset, edging closer to anger.
Danny was sighing and whispering. He sounded frustrated.
Gerard stood there and listened to them. He heard his name thrown in and subjects about being a baby.
He felt sick.
He felt like they were stabbing him in the back.
He needed to breathe. He walked towards the door and grabbed his toms off of the floor.
He slipped them on then stepped outside.
It was nice outside. A little windy, but it was nice.
He thought about sitting down then decided to walk instead.
There was people walking past him as he walked past them. People were clearly on their lunch breaks, rushing by to get back to work or get to a place to eat lunch. Gerard realized that he didn't really know where he was walking to, but like always, he ended up standing in front of the bean.
It was one of his favorite things about Chicago.
He stepped back so that the tourists could take their photos next to the reflective surface.
He moved further back until he was in a less crowded spot.
People were rushing around him still. He watched them.
The way they rushed through the city, not taking anything in.
Gerard realized how strange he must of looked in that moment.
He was wearing an old red shirt with a dog on it, a pair of gray sweatpants, and a pair of green toms.
He still had bruising on his face and arms.
He probably looked like a homeless person.
He thought about how he abruptly left after hearing Danny and Eric talking about him.
Gerard went over to a bench nearby and sat down.
A younger man was already sitting down.
"Um. Excuse me, sir." Gerard said quietly.
"I don't give handouts to bums." He sounded snooty.
"I don't need your money." Gerard retorted then stood back up. "And I'm not a bum."
He walked a few steps back towards the bean, looking for someone that looked polite enough. He needed to borrow a phone and snooty bench guy wasn't going to help him.
Gerard attempted to approach three different people, but got too scared at the last second.
"What are you trying to do, kid?" Snooty bench guy asked.
"What does it matter to you?"
"Well. If you're not a bum and you don't need money then what are you looking for?" He put his phone onto his lap and crossed his legs.
"I just needed to borrow a phone." Gerard mumbled. "I need to call my dad."
Snooty bench guy stood up and unlocked his phone.
He brought it up to the phone keypad then handed it to Gerard. "Here."
Gerard looked up to make sure it was okay.
The guy just pushed it closer to Gerard.
"Thank you." Gerard smiled then dialed Jim's number.
He hadn't realized he had called Jim until Jim said, "Hello?"
"Uh. Hey. It's Gerard. I'm next to the bean and I was wondering if you could pick me up." Gerard said quietly. "Please, baba." Gerard didn't want the snooty bench guy to question him. He tried to keep his speaking as adult as possible.
"Yeah, buddy. I'll be there shortly." Jim said. "Stay where you are."
"Hurry. Please." Gerard said.
"Okay. I'll see you soon."
"Bye. Uh. I love you."
"I love you too, buddy." Jim sounded like he was smiling. "Bye."
The phone clicked and Gerard quickly handed the man his phone.

-

Jim got to the bean in around 10 minutes.
He walked over and said, "What the hell are you wearing?" He laughed lightly. "You look like a bum."
Snooty bench guy was still sitting there and he just snorted.
"Oh shut up." Gerard said to Jim and to the guy.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were with Danny."
"I needed some air. Him and Eric were driving me insane. They were fighting about something again." Gerard was keeping his cool, trying his hardest to stay big.
"Alright. Let's get you home then." Jim said as he put his arm around Gerard's shoulder.
They started walking to Jim's truck.
Gerard looked over to Jim as they walked. "Thanks for picking me up." He mumbled.
Jim just gave a nod towards Gerard.
Gerard took a few seconds to gather his words. "I heard them talking about me."
"Do they know that you're gone?"
Gerard shook his head no.
"Alright. Well. I'm taking you back there." Jim said as he opened Gerard's door for him.
Gerard turned to Jim. "Why?"
"If they don't know where you are or why you left then they're probably freaking out."
Gerard got into the truck and mumbled, "Can you stay?"
"I gotta get back home."
Gerard looked sad. "Okay." He let Jim shut the door.
Gerard looked out the window and listened as the car started.
"They're probably worried sick." Jim said. "Did you ask them what they were talking about before you left?"
Gerard just shrugged.
"Maybe they weren't arguing. Maybe you misinterpreted the whole situation. The whole conversation."
They pulled up to the house and Gerard had his seat belt off before the car was even parked.
When Jim stopped, Gerard jumped out of the car and slammed the door shut.
Jim watched as Gerard disappeared into the apartment.
Jim waited, seeing if anyone would come back out.
He was about to leave when Danny walked out of the house then ran over to the truck.
"What happened?" Danny asked him. "He just locked himself in his room."
Jim sighed. "He said you guys were arguing and he heard his name thrown in. He got upset and left." He explained.
"Okay. Thanks." Danny sighed. "I'll go talk to him."
"You weren't saying anything negative, right?"
"No. Of course not." Danny said. "We were talking about buying something for him." Danny pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Okay. Go take care of him." Jim looked towards the apartment.
"I will. Thanks, Jim."
Jim smiled. "Not a problem."
Danny walked back so Jim could move his truck.
Danny waved and walked back towards his home.

-

Danny walked to Gerard's bedroom. Eric was standing there trying to coax him out.
"Can I talk to him?" Danny asked.
Danny laid on the ground and looked under the crack at the bottom of the door.
"Gerard. We weren't talking about you in a negative way." Danny spoke. "Jim told me that you heard us and said we were arguing."
"Go away!" Gerard sounded frustrated, but he also sounded like he was crying.
"Buddy. We weren't arguing. We were talking about getting you something. We were just disagreeing on the color." Danny sighed.

-

Danny and Eric eventually gave up on getting Gerard to come out.
Eric went to bed and Danny went to the living room.

-

At 4 am, Danny woke up when he heard movement in one of the bedrooms. He got up and walked toward Gerard's room.
The door was wide open and Gerard was stuffing his blankets into a basket.
"Gerard?" Danny turned Gerard's light on.
Gerard jumped away from his blankets.
"What happened?"
Gerard looked down, not wanting to tell Danny about the accident he just had. Danny noticed Gerard was only wearing boxers.
He took that as a hint that Gerard had wet the bed.
"Nothing. My sheets are just dirty." He picked up the basket and walked to the laundry room.
He heard Danny sigh from behind him.
Gerard ignored him and just took his clothes and put them in the washing machine.
"Gerard. What's wrong?"
Gerard didn't say anything. He continued putting his sheets and clothes into the washer.
"Can you please talk to me?" Danny came closer.
Gerard put some detergent in, shut the machine and turned it on.
"Just go back to sleep." Gerard crossed his arms.
"I need you to talk to me. We can't resolve anything if you never talk to me, Jerry."
"I don't want to talk to you!" Gerard shouted. Gerard turned away from him then sat on the ground, defeated.
Eric came into the room, rubbing his eyes.
"Everything okay in here?" He took in the sight of Gerard sitting on the ground, in his boxers and Danny looking tired, still standing in the doorway.
Eric walked over to Gerard and lifted him up.
He held Gerard and said, "Why don't we go get you in your jammies then go lay back down?"
Gerard didn't say anything.
He wrapped his arms around Eric's shoulders and let him carry him back down the hall.
Eric settled Gerard on the ground and got a diaper and some pajamas.
He took Gerard's boxers off of him and put the diaper under his bum. He fastened it the helped Gerard sit up. He got him into a ninja turtles shirt then had him stand up to get into the pants.
When his pants were up, Eric lifted Gerard onto his hip again.
"Hey, Dan! Can you make a bottle so I can get Gerard in bed?" Eric shouted down the hall as he carried Gerard into his bedroom.
"Yeah." Danny said back.
Eric helped Gerard into his bed and scooted in next to him.
Gerard didn't say a word.
Danny came into the room with the bottle.
Eric looked down at Gerard, noticing that he had silent tears running down his face.
Eric held his hand out for the bottle.
Danny quickly handed it over as he got into the bed on Gerard's other side.
Eric held the bottle to Gerard's lips.
"Close your eyes and relax, baby." Eric leaned over and kissed Gerard's head. He lifted the bottle up and held it to gerards lips.
Gerard accepted it and closed his eyes.
He was asleep in minutes.