Gerard's Little Side

Gerard woke up the next morning and saw that Eric and Danny were both gone. He sat up and grabbed the Nala stuffie and the pacifier that someone had placed by him.
He held the stuffie tightly and crawled out of the bed.
He walked into the living room and then into the kitchen.
Danny was at the stove and Eric wasn't in the room.
Danny turned when he heard someone enter the room.
"Hi, buddy. Did you sleep okay?" Danny asked.
Gerard shrugged. "Need a change." He mumbled through his paci.
"Alright. Just give me a second." Danny finished cooking the eggs he was making and moved them from the pan onto a plate.
He left the plate there then picked up Gerard and brought him to his room. He laid the boy on his bed and grabbed the wipes and a new diaper.
Gerard watched him go through the process and became somewhat uncomfortable when Danny started to rub something creamy and cold on his privates.
Gerard squirmed and whined.
"Hey. Calm down, bud. You have a rash. I'm just putting some cream on it."
Gerard whined more and started crying.
His pacifier fell from his mouth and he cried even more.
"No. Please stop!" Gerard cried out. "Please stop!"
Danny stopped then covered him back up with his new diaper.
Gerard continued to cry and as soon as the diaper was fastened, he sat up and scooted away from Danny.
"Jerry. What's wrong, sweetie?" Danny asked calmly.
Gerard was shaking and coughing and crying all at once.
Eric came into the room. "What happened?" He said to Danny.
"I was changing him then I put some diaper cream on him and then he just started to cry and freak out." Danny now looked as if he was going to cry.
"Gerard. Would you like me to call mommy or baba?" Danny asked, trying to keep a calm and steady tone.
Gerard said nothing so Danny got up.
Danny looked to Eric and said, "Can you stay with him for just a second?" Eric shook his head yes and watched the boy.
Danny left the room and called Randall, knowing no matter what, he could calm Gerard. He then called Sid and asked him to come too to help figure out how to best help Gerard.

-

When Sid arrived, Danny was waiting on the front steps.
"Hey. Thanks for coming." Danny gave him a weak smile. "Eric had to go to work, but Randall is here. So he's gonna be with us and we ha-"
Sid cut him off. "Are you alright, man?"
"No. Not really." Danny turned and walked back inside.
Sid followed after him.
Randall came into the room holding Gerard.
"Hey. How are you?" Randall asked.
"Good. How are you two?" Sid smiled, trying to remain positive.
"We'll be okay." Randall rubbed Gerard's back.
Gerard was holding his stuffed Nala plushie and sucking on a pacifier. He had his other hand holding tightly onto Randall's shirt.
"You can go ahead and sit down." Danny gestured Sid towards the sofa.
Randall sat down in the recliner and moved Gerard so he was laying half on Randall and half on the recliner.
He popped the leg rest up so that they could both be more comfortable.
"Actually can I talk to you in the other room?" Danny asked Sid.
"Yeah. Of course."
They went to the kitchen and Danny spoke first. "Would you like anything to drink?"
"Uh. How about a water?"
Danny grabbed two waters out of the fridge and handed one to Sid.
"Not to be rude, but why did you ask me to come over?" Sid opened the water and drank a sip. "Did something happen?"
"I'm not really sure what happened." Danny said. "I was just changing him and I noticed he had a diaper rash so I was putting some cream on it and he freaked out." Danny drank some of his water, feeling like his throat was closing up. "He wouldn't let me hold him after I changed him and he wouldn't let Eric hold him. I called you and Randall to see if either of you could help."
"Well Randall is holding him so something worked out." Sid said his statement as more of a question, not knowing how things were working out.
"It felt like he wanted nothing to do with me." Danny sighed.
"Did something happen within the last few days that would make him feel like he isn't safe around you?" Sid questioned.
"I don't think so." Danny thought of possible things that could have gone wrong. "Maybe yesterday." He said quietly.
"What happened yesterday?"
"He overheard me and Eric talking about something that involved him and he took it the wrong way. He walked all the way to the bean and Jim drove him back here." Danny explained.
"That could've set him off. He might of freaked and then fled.
"Yeah. We told him what really happened, but we couldn't get him to come out of his room." Danny moved so he could peek out into the living room. "I woke up in the middle of the night and he was doing laundry. Eric woke up too, but he got him to come lay down in our room. I just assumed everything was fine after that."
"Maybe he was just scared that you were arguing and he didn't know the full context. He may have just been a little scared."
"Yeah. I guess you're right." Danny walked into the living room again and watched as Gerard snuggled into Randall as he was watching Paw Patrol on the tv.
Danny came back to the kitchen and got out a sippy cup. He filled it with juice then turned to Sid. "Do you think you could give this to him? He won't take it if I give it to him."
Sid took the sippy cup and brought it to the living room.
"Hey, little man. Would you like some juice?" Sid held the cup out to Gerard.
Gerard was hesitant to take it. "T'ank 'ou." He mumbled around his pacifier, giving a small smile to Sid.
"You're welcome." Sid smiled back.
Sid returned to the kitchen and said, "I don't know what to tell you. He looks like he hasn't had sleep in weeks, Dan."
"I know. And I don't know what to do either." Danny sighed, leaning over onto the counter. "I don't even know if there is anything I could do to help him out."
"I'm sure you're doing everything you can." Sid said. "Maybe he's just closing himself off cause he thinks he's gonna get hurt."
Danny sighed. "I'm sorry I made you come all the way down here."
"It's only a twenty minute drive, Dan."
"Thank you though. It means a lot."
"Don't worry about it." Sid smiled. "Would you like me to stay longer or can you handle this?"
"You can go. Thanks for coming." Danny smiled, still looking sad.
"Good luck, man." Sid gave one last look to Danny then left.
Danny went back to the living room and sat on the sofa.
He watched as Gerard sucked on his pacifier and clutched his toy.
A new episode of Paw Patrol was starting and Gerard rubbed his eyes, starting to get tired.
"Do you wanna go lay down?" Randall asked his boyfriend.
"No. Wanna stay with you." Gerard whined.
Danny stood up and left the room again.
It was too much for him to handle. He was in the same room, but Gerard wanted nothing to do with him.
Danny sat down at the kitchen table and called Eric.
Eric didn't answer and Danny started to cry. His emotions were getting the best of him.
Randall came into the room just minutes later, holding a sleepy Gerard. Danny quickly wiped his eyes and said, "Hey, guys. What's going on?"
Randall gave him a concerned look. "Gerard wanted some milk."
Danny got up and got the milk out of the fridge. He went over and grabbed a bottle then filled it with the milk. He put the lid on and held it out to Gerard.
Gerard wouldn't take it. Randall took it and Danny quickly left the room. He went to his own bedroom and locked the door.
He laid on his bed and started crying again.

-

Randall didn't mind taking care of Gerard, but he didn't understand what was going on between Danny and Gerard.
Randall didn't want to upset Gerard. He brought the smaller boy back to the living room and sat on the recliner again.
"Alright." Randall sighed. He leaned back and fed Gerard.
Gerard's eyes were drooping and he started rubbing his eyes.

-

Eric came home at lunch time and smiled when he saw Randall and Gerard sleeping on the recliner.
He walked around the apartment and looked for Danny.
He noticed their bedroom door was shut and sighed.
He went to open it and was disappointed to find it locked.
Eric called Danny's number and waited to see if he would pick up.
"What?" Danny sounded sad.
"It's me, babe. Open the door."
The phone call ended and the door unlocked just seconds after.
Danny's voice cracked when he spoke. "I don't know what to do, Eric. He's shutting me out." Danny covered his face as he began crying again.

-

Gerard was awake in the other room, listening to them speak.

-

"Take a deep breath, Dan." Eric hugged his boyfriend and kissed his head. "It's going to be okay."
"You don't know that for sure. What if he stops talking to me forever?" Danny choked out. "What if I've messed everything up and I don't even know what I did and I'll never be able to fix what I've done."
"Calm down." Eric sighed. "He's your brother before anything else and he will always love you."
"What if he never wants me to be his daddy again?"

-

Gerard never realized how much it hurt Danny to not be helping him with simple things. Danny wanted to take care of him and Gerard didn't understand why. He didn't understand how someone could want to be near him, how they could want to change his diapers. He didnt want anyone to hurt him again. Three times was enough and he was so broken.
Gerard untangled himself from Randall's hold. He slowly walked to the hallway. He hid behind the corner, but continued listening on to what Eric and Danny were speaking about.
Danny was just crying now.
Gerard felt bad. He never meant to make anyone sad.
He was just scared and he felt alone. He felt like everything good was taken from his life. He began crying and wanting someone to hold him. He wanted his daddies to hold him.

-

Danny heard crying from where he was standing. He turned his head in the direction of the living room.
Gerard was standing just behind the corner.
"I'm sorry." He sobbed.
Danny was hesitant when he walked over to Gerard.
Gerard buried his face in Danny's neck. "I'm sorry." He kept repeating over and over like a mantra.
Danny lifted his brother up and held him close.
"No no no. Don't apologize. It's okay, baby." Danny kissed his brother's head.
Gerard held tightly onto Danny's shirt. "Dinnit mean to be mad. I just was scared and I dinnit know how to handle it." Gerard continued crying and sniffling.
"It's alright, buddy. It's okay."