The Reckless and the Brave

~TWO YEARS AGO~

The strobe lights and thumping music hurt Lily's head as she pushed through the swarm of people searching for any familiar face. She knew both Jack and Alex were in the club somewhere and her already-drunk brain had convinced her to find one or both of them.

She and Alex had been arguing about something on All Time Low's tour bus just an hour before, and she'd decided after the three shots she'd done in the time between then and the moment she walked into the club that she wasn't done with him yet.

Finally, after searching for what seemed like a really long time, she caught a glimpse of the shock of bright blonde that cut starkly through her best friend's hair. Pushing past people to get to Jack, she saw that Alex wasn't far away. Her eyes connected with his and she saw his facial expression instantly fall. Jack turned and saw her too, and she watched as his eyes darted between her and Alex quickly, no doubt trying to figure out the best escape route.

"We need to talk. Now," she yelled over the music when she reached Alex, and he nodded slowly.

"Talk," he yelled back, and when he didn't make any move to leave the loud club, she thought her head might be about to explode.

"Somewhere else, Alex," she informed him, and he nodded again.

"Fine," he said taking the hand that she was impatiently offering him.

She led him out to the tour bus that was still parked against the curb down the street from the club. They carefully climbed the stairs and she watched as Alex crossed his arms and leaned on the wall. She stood near the small table in front of the bench seat, holding onto it to keep herself steady.

"What the fuck are we doing?" she asked him, not waiting for his response. "Why the fuck are we always fucking arguing these days? Was it always like this?" she rapid-fired, and he blinked hard at her, making sure she was done.

"Probably because sometimes you're a fucking crazy person," he said, and she was surprised at the emotion behind the words. Even slightly drunk, she was able to articulate that he'd never spoken to her that way before, not ever. It wasn't even just the words. Mostly it was just the intensity behind them. Instantly, she was furious.

"Well it's not my fault that you're a fucking child, you know? You could act older than about six sometimes if you wanted. No one would mind," she said, watching as the words obviously hit him like knives.

"You used to call it funny, you know? You used to not have a fucking problem with every single facet of my personality!" he hollered, and she was surprised again at how angry he seemed. Alex didn't usually get angry at all, let alone angry enough that he was screaming.

"I only have a problem with the fact that you act like a goddamn idiot all the time. You're so fucking immature, you know that? I don't even know how to fucking handle it anymore!" she threw back, watching as his eyes almost seemed to rim themselves in red out of anger.

"Yeah, well, it's not my fucking problem that lately you're the least fun person to be around in the fucking world, Lily. Last I checked, we were in our twenties, not eighties."

"I'm trying to be someone, Alex. I'm trying to do something with my life!"

"What, like I'm not fucking doing something? Do you think I'm baking fucking cookies here?! What I'm doing right fucking now is realizing how done with this shit I am!"

"Well you know what, Alex? What if we're done? What if I'm fucking done with all of this bullshit? Huh?" she demanded, moving towards him aggressively. She stopped right in front of his face, eagerly awaiting his response.

"Then I guess we're fucking done," he said in a deadly quiet voice. She looked at him, surprised he'd actually said it. As her eyes connected with his, she was sure she'd never seen him -or anyone else- so angry.

"I guess we are, then." she confirmed for him, running off of the bus and down the street. She heard him following for a moment, but did everything in her power not to look back.



~PRESENT~

"We're here! Everyone up!" Lily heard Jack yelling a little while later, snapping her out of her thoughts. She poked her head around the curtain that covered her bunk and couldn't help but smile. Jack had always gotten ridiculously excited about the beginning of a new tour, and as she watched him jumping up and down and laughing with everyone else on the bus, she could see that he hadn't changed.

Alex slipped out of the bunk above her and she watched his back as he headed toward the front of the bus. Impulsively, before she could really think about it enough to stop herself, she stood and called his name just as he was getting to the front of the bus. She watched as he stopped and hesitated for just a moment before turning to look at her.

As he moved back towards her, she could see that his face was red and splotchy and he'd obviously been crying. Instantly, she had to fight back the instinct to pull him close to her and play with his soft hair.

"What's up?" he asked, not getting too close.

"We need to talk," she said, instantly getting deja vu to the last time she'd said those words to him.

"Yeah," he agreed, nodding slightly. He sat on the bench seat at the front of the bus and she moved to sit beside him. He was quiet and she studied his face while she tried to formulate the words to say.

God, she'd missed that face. Her eyes took in every angle of it as she looked at him; his cheekbones, his jawline, his round nose, the stubble that he'd let spread across his chin, his thick eyebrows, his sad eyes. Everything about it made her ache with the want to kiss him.

"I'm sorry I'm being a dick," she said, not totally knowing what else to start with. His eyes rose slowly to meet hers, and she couldn't help herself. She reached out to him and tucked a piece of his shaggy hair behind his ear. "Ally," she whispered, knowing the look in his eye.

"I fucking missed you, Lil," he whispered back, scooting closer to her. She was about to respond, but was cut off by his lips as he leaned in to kiss her.

"Alex," she mumbled around his kiss, knowing they shouldn't but not totally caring for a moment.