Status: Completed!

The Reckless and the Brave

x six x

A week passed before Lily and Alex were really able to talk to each other, even for a minute. Lily had forgotten how completely chaotic Warped was. Turns out, it was about 100 times more chaotic if you were actually one of the artists. Also, All Time Low and Reckless Summer seemed to be on completely opposite schedules somehow. Most of their shows were one right after the other and they seemed to be on opposite interview and meet and greet schedules. As soon as one of them would get done with those things, the other one would have to go in for them.

Finally, they were able to get a moment alone together on the bus one night while everyone else was at the barbecue that always happened at the end of the night on Warped.

"Hi," Alex whispered to her, his face appearing around the corner of her bunk. She was pretty sure he'd been trying to scare her, but she'd heard his bunk creaking above her.

"Hey," she said, not looking up from the written interview she was typing on her computer.

"You have a minute?" he asked, scooting into the end of her bunk, moving her feet over as he made himself comfortable. Not liking where he put them, she draped them over his straight-out legs. Even though she was trying as hard as she could not to show it, she was kind of surprised at herself. When the hell had she become so re-accustomed to molding herself around him so that they were both comfortable?

She typed for a few more minutes before closing the laptop and looking up at him. He smirked at her, and she instantly melted a little bit. Looking at him expectantly, hoping he was going to start the conversation, she couldn't help but smile back at him. Why'd he have to be so damn cute?

"I think we both know that we both played a pretty big part in us falling apart. I don't think it was anyone specifically that made things crumble. I think it was bound to happen anyway. We were young and stupid and we'd been together so long and gone through so much that it was just time to take a breather from each other, from us," Alex said to her, his hand resting lightly on her foot. She watched him as he talked and saw as his eyes filled with tears. Without thinking about it, she crawled across the bunk until she was right beside him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned on his shoulder, waiting for him to continue. "I know it was probably a good thing, that we probably needed the time. But I can't even tell you how fucking mad I am at myself to this day that I didn't follow you that night when you ran off the bus. I hate myself for not chasing you down, for not making it better. I have nightmares about it. Nightmares where I watch you running down the street, and I'm just standing there paralyzed and unable to follow you. I know I should have reached out so many fucking times over these past few years. I know you deserved that. But honestly, every time I tried to, I just backed out of it because I didn't want to fuck it up and say the wrong thing. I can't even tell you how many letters I wrote just to throw them away, how many texts I typed just to erase it all, how many times I dialed your number just to hang up before it actually started ringing. I didn't know what to say to you. I didn't know how to make it better. I still don't," he rambled off, and by the time he was done talking they were both crying.

"Ally," she whispered, raising her thumb to his cheek to wipe away some of the tears. She studied his eyes for a minute, trying to put together exactly what she wanted to say. "We did both play a huge part in it. We were too young and too stupid when it came to life in general, let alone love. I'm not mad at you for not following me that night, though. I'm not. Because you know what would have happened? I would've told you to fuck off, or something equally shitty. You chasing me down that night wouldn't have solved anything, wouldn't have fixed us. You're right when you say we needed the time. We really did. Neither of us had any idea who we were then. We were both just running all over the place, trying to figure shit out, and it's not a bad thing that it was better for us to do that apart. And as far as reaching out goes, that's not only on you. I didn't have a goddamn clue what to say to you either. I was so mad at you for such a long time. I blamed everything on you, and then when I realized that it wasn't all your fault at all, I really didn't know how to handle it. It's not one-sided. I could have reached out too and I didn't. I didn't know what to say to you either. Right now is the first time in two fucking years that I'm sure that these are the right words for how I'm feeling and it's only because you told me how you were feeling first," she told him, watching as his eyes poured over with more tears, hers following closely behind. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and they were silent for a while, just soaking each other up.

"I'm sorry. So fucking sorry," he whispered into her hair after a while, and she looked up at him slowly.

"Me too. I can't even tell you how much," she replied, kissing his cheek. As she was pulling away, he caught her lips with his and before she knew what was happening, they were kissing in a way she hadn't been kissed in a long time. It was full of passion and need and she thought she might explode at the pure feeling of it.