Tonight the World Dies

The next time I wake up, Daryl is sleeping soundly beside me. He’s on his back, one arm outstretched under my pillow, the other resting on his stomach. As my mind catches up to my mind, I take a minute to enjoy the moment. What I revealed to him the night before was something that only I ever knew. I’d never had a person to confide in, and part of me is terrified that Daryl might end up running off. No, I chide myself, if he was going to, he would’ve lit out last night. Still, a despondency sits in my gut as I wait for him to wake up.

“Whatcha so tense for?” His voice, heavy with sleep, makes me jump beside him. I glance at him; he’s turned his head to look over at me, one squinty blue eye visible through his dark hair.

“Sorry,” I mutter, throwing an arm over my face. I hear the bed shift as Daryl rolls towards me. His warm hand pulls my arm away and he pins me with a look that tells me he’s not letting this go. “Just…wondering what you’re thinking…about…you know.”

He chews the inside of his cheek, his eyes narrow and giving nothing away. It only worsens the anxious storm within me.

“Ain’t thinkin’ nothin’. Like I said, nothin’s you’ve been through’s gonna make me think of ya any less. Now come on, get up. We need to tell Rick about these men.”

“You didn’t last night?” I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. He shakes his head.

“Rick wanted ta make sure you were okay. Ya gave all of them quite a scare.”

“Yeah, I bet Carol was really concerned,” I scoff sardonically before I can stop it. I sigh. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“’S okay. But yer right… She wasn’t too thrilled seein’ ya comin’ back covered in blood. Said we couldn’t trust ya.”

Doubt swarms me. “No one agreed though…right?”

“Nah. Ya ain’t gotta worry. I think she was kinda shocked when I started fightin’ her.”

“You did?” He hums in reply. “I’m really going to become Deanna’s best friend, aren’t I?”

He hesitates, but agrees. “Ya not really helpin’ ya case.”

“Maybe we can keep yesterday between us. Aaron won’t snitch. I like to think he and I are friends.”

“Ya are, and he won’t say nothin’. Now come on.”

I grumble lowly but throw the blankets off. Daryl shrugs on his vest and his boots and steps out so I can change. I meet him downstairs, where Maggie and Glenn are speaking with Rick and Carl. The former holds Judith in his arms, bouncing her lightly. They all turn towards Daryl and I and a somber atmosphere settles in the room.

“Suppose you want to know about these men,” I start, eying Rick. He nods slowly and hands his daughter off to Carl, who takes her into the living room.

“We need the others,” Rick says, his southern accent clouded in weariness.

“I’ll get them,” Glenn interjects, and then he’s out the door. Rick leans on the island, his blue eyes level with mine. He squints slightly.

“How are you?” he asks. Maggie and Daryl glance at me, the former with something akin to sympathy. I lift my shoulders lazily in a shrug.

“I’m okay. I have to be. What happened yesterday…that doesn’t happen often, I just want to assure you. It was a…situational response. But I’m okay.”

Rick appraises me a moment longer, and I feel like he can see right through me. He nods, a gesture of finality. Suddenly, there’s a commotion in the house as Glenn returns with Abraham, Rosita, Michonne, Aaron, and, to my annoyance, Carol. The grey-haired woman pointedly plants herself at Daryl’s side, like a mother lion protecting her pride. She gazes at me with suspicion, her eyes narrow slits in her head. I do my best to ignore it as Rick begins speaking, asking us what happened the day before, in detail.

“This group, they aren’t friendly, and from what Aaron, Daryl, and Candace tell us, there are more of them. We’re not sure how many, and we’re not sure if they’ll find us. But we need to be prepared if they do.”

“So what do you suggest?” someone asks. Rick stems his hands on his hips, his signature cop stance that’s all business. Then his ice blue eyes find me.

“What do you think, Candace?” he questions, to my surprise. Beside Daryl, Carol scoffs.

“You’re asking her? What’s she know of battle strategies?” she inquires, pinning me with a harsh glare. I straighten my spine, standing stock straight, and meet her eyes squarely. Daryl takes a meager step forward, essentially put himself between us.

“I want to hear her opinion,” Rick shoots back. “Everyone has a voice here. Candace?”

I hesitate, glancing around at the waiting eyes of the group. I nod soundly to myself. “I think we need more intel on this group. We can’t prepare for a threat we don’t understand nor can we just go in and attack their camp. We don’t know if it’s their only one, or how many men they actually have. We need to know more before we can make our next move.”

When I’m done speaking, half the group looks impressed, while the other half looks hesitant to start anything. I can’t blame them. For many of us, Alexandria has truly become a haven, a place where we can start anew and rebuild society. I, myself, have started to feel safe here, though I still have some reservations that come in the shape of a tweedy, curly-haired coward with a grudge. There’s a silence in the room as the others weigh what I’ve suggested.

Abraham is the first to speak. “I think the little lady makes a strong point. Let me be the first to volunteer to scope this new group out.”

“No offense, big guy, but they’ll hear you a mile away,” I retort jokingly with a small smile. There’s a spark in his eyes as he smirks. I turn to Daryl, who’s stayed silent this whole time. “I think Daryl and I should be the ones to stake them out, watch them, find out if they’re all there is. Sorry, Aaron, but I saw the way you looked at them yesterday, and I don’t want to put you in an impossible position.”

“I agree,” Rick interjects. “Two’s a company. Take a couple days, see what you can find out. But first, take a day and rest up completely. You both had a rough day yesterday. We’ll round up some supplies and bring them to you in the morning. Head out at first light.”

With a final nod, Rick and the others, save for Daryl, Carol, and Glenn and Maggie, begin to file out the door. When it’s the five of us, Carol rounds on Daryl.

“You’re going out there again?” she asks, and I barely hold back an eye roll.

“Daryl’s a big boy, he can handle himself,” I mutter, unimpressed, and throw her a look. She pins me with another glare and then widens her eyes as she looks back up at Daryl.

“We gotta know who these people are,” he tells her quietly. It does little to assuage her, and I half expect her to stomp her foot like a child. “We’re gonna be fine.”

Carol looks wholly unconvinced, but she doesn’t push it. “Come back to me.” This time I do roll my eyes and turn to walk out of the kitchen. I head out onto the porch, opting to take a seat on the swing hanging and swinging slowly back and forth. I’m joined moments later by both Maggie and Glenn, who sit on either side of me.

“You be safe out there,” Maggie tells me fiercely, gripping my hand. The weight settles in my chest again and I feel myself nodding.

“Always.”

“We mean it, Candace,” Glenn adds. “Don’t try to be a hero. Just do what you need to do and get out. This isn’t worth your or Daryl’s life.”

“If it keeps the group safe, then I’m going to do it. You guys…I don’t know when it happened but you guys are my family.” I huff an unamused laugh. “It’s funny, you know…I never thought I’d have a family again. But you guys are it. And if going out there, finding those men, is going to keep you all safe, then I’ll gladly do it.”

Maggie smiles wetly at me while Glenn puts an arm around my shoulders, hugging me to his side. Maggie leans her head on my shoulder, and the three of us sit there in silence for a while, until the front door opens and Carol and Daryl finally emerge. I pointedly aim my gaze downwards as Carol storms across the front yard to the house next door. I look up at Daryl from underneath my lashes; he’s watching the older woman, his thumbnail in his mouth in thought.

“Bring her back, Daryl,” Glenn tells him fiercely but calmly. The hunter shoots his eyes to the man beside me, stares for a moment, and nods. Then his eyes dart back to me, and Glenn and Maggie take that as their cue to leave, despite the fact that this is their house too. But they walk off the porch, hand in hand, out into the sunshine to enjoy the day.

Daryl is quick to replace Glenn on my right side, and he pushes us off lightly with his feet. I pull a knee up to my chest and wrap my arms around it, basking in the warmth of the day.

“Ya don’t have to go, ya know,” he says quietly. “Can do it myself.”

“And what if something happens? You’ve got no one to watch your back,” I shoot back, looking over at him. He shrugs briefly, a quick upward jerk of his shoulders. I shake my head. “Not happening. I’m fine, I can handle it. I’m not letting you have all the fun.”

He snorts and slowly, uncertainly, lifts the hand between us to reach over and curl his fingers around mine, eventually entwining them. He waits for a moment, gauging my reaction, before he pulls our hands up to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. My stomach flutters and I feel myself blushing as our hands come down to rest on his denim-clad thigh.

“I meant what I said to them,” I say quietly a few moments later. Daryl glances sidelong at me, and I can’t help but roll my eyes. “I know you were listening. Those elf ears of yours don’t miss a thing. I haven’t had a family for a long time, and it feels…alien, but it isn’t a bad feeling. All of you somehow made me feel like I had a place to belong. Hell, even Gabriel…and Carol…have contributed to that. So really, I should be thanking all of you.”

“Ain’t gotta,” he says, shifting uneasily. I smile sadly at him; he can dish out beautiful truths to anyone but he can’t take hearing them.

“I do. I’m not sure how much longer I would have lasted out there. Yeah, I had Gabriel but…I was barely human, just going through the motions hoping one day I’d have the courage or the cowardice to just eat a damn bullet.” Daryl’s hand tightens around mine and he fixes me with a look so filled with emotion it steals the breath from my lungs.

“Glad ya didn’t.” His words are soft compared to the look in his eyes. I hold his gaze a moment longer before he shifts his eyes elsewhere and nibbles on the skin of his lip. “Ya ain’t gonna ask?”

“Ask? About what?” I pinch my eyebrows together, comprehension lost on me.

“What Carol and I talked about.”

I flush. “Oh. No, I’m not. The private conversations you have with people are your business, and if you feel like sharing then I’m all ears, but I’m not going to grill you every time you’re alone with Carol. That’s not me.”

He glances at me for a long moment before dipping his head. Then those blue eyes meet mine again. “We talked about you.”

I still. “You did?”

He dips his head again. “Told her she’s gotta back off ya, that yer family now as much as I am. Told her I ain’t gonna stand for her attackin’ ya all the damn time.”

My heart swells at Daryl’s coming to my defense. I turn my head away as I feel my eyes mist over a bit, but no tears come and so I look back over at him. He’s looking at his lap—no, our hands, he’s looking at our hands—and a pink flush has taken up residence on his cheeks.

“Thank you, Daryl. I know how much Carol means to you, how close you are, and I don’t want this, between us, to come between the two of you—” His head snaps up.

“It ain’t. She’s family, but she’s gotta learn to move on. Ya ain’t the only one sick of the looks she’s givin’ ya. I ain’t…good…at this, like I said, but I care about ya, and she’s gotta accept that.” He gives me a look that dares me to argue, but I smartly keep my mouth shut and nod.

“I’m hoping these men have moved on,” I murmur after a few beats of silence. My apprehension of encountering this group again has been pushing its way through my mind, and Daryl is the only one I feel confident enough to voice my fears to. I trust the others, but they’re nervous, and I don’t want to contribute to that.

Daryl hums beside me, and that’s all the response I get, but he’s starting dancing his thumb across the back of my hand in comfort. I rise up off the swing and tug our linked hands.

“Come on, I’ll make us something to eat.” I look down at him as he continues to sit, and when he looks up at me, I boldly lean down and press my lips lightly to his for a few moments. He’s frozen in the swing, probably freaking since we’re in view of people, but I can’t find it in me to care. The only thing I care about in this moment is the man in front of me. Somehow he’s wormed his way under my skin, and I won’t let him hide when he so deserves to feel cared for, to feel loved.

He follows me into the house after I’ve pulled away. He takes a seat at the island while I bustle through the kitchen, searching for some kind of hearty meal before our mission tomorrow. I end up with some kind of thick, vegetable stew. As it simmers on the stove, I reach into one of the cabinets for a bottle of wine. It seems appropriate—a nice meal with a wonderful man. I snort before I can stop myself. The idea of a dinner date at the end of the world seems absurd, and yet, here I am.

“Whatcha laughin’ at?” Daryl grouses, folding his arms across his chest. He’s slumped in the chair, his knees spread apart. I smile fondly and shake my head. A corner of his mouth lifts in a small smirk. “Tell me.”

I rake a hand through my hair. “It’s just…this. Cooking dinner, wine, you…I thought dates ended with the world.”

Daryl’s expression sobers and he looks almost embarrassed. “Ain’t never been on one…”

“What, a date?” I frown when he nods. Then I shrug and turn back to the stove. “Doesn’t matter. You’re on one now, so you can cross that off your bucket list.” He snorts behind me, and I smile wryly. I give the stew a quick stir before cracking open the wine with a—lo and behold—corkscrew hidden in one of the drawers. I pour us each a hefty glass and sit at the island. The red wine is tart and fruity, but it’s been so long since I’ve had a drink that I don’t care.

“Tell me something about you, Daryl. Something I don’t know…Which, come to think of it, there’s a lot I don’t know.”

He shrugs, uncomfortable with the attention I’m showing him. “Ain’t much to tell.”

“That’s probably the biggest crock I’ve ever heard.” He glares at me, but there’s no heat behind it. I wait patiently as he chews on his lip, eyes boring into the countertop. “How’d you get so good with your crossbow? And tracking? I’ve never met someone who can track as well as you can.”

He flushes and shrugs again but I pin him with a look that says he better start talking. “Spent a lotta time in the woods as a kid. Parents were never ‘round. Dad was a bastard. Liked to assert himself with his fists after a few. Mostly it was my brother, Merle, but when Merle lit out he started lookin’ at me.”

“Where was your mom during all this?” I ask him, heart bleeding for the pain he’d gone through. A faraway look passes through his eyes and then it’s gone.

“Died when I was little. Fell asleep drunk in bed with a lit cigarette. There was nothin’ left o’ her.”

“I’m so sorry, Daryl.” I reach out for his arm. The muscles are tense beneath his clothing.

“Means she got out. Anyway I taught myself how to track ‘n hunt, got better as I got older.”

“What happened to your dad?”

He shrugs again. “Last I heard he was on some bender and ended up in the hospital. Liver poisoning. Hope the bastard died slowly.”

It’s the first time I’ve heard Daryl utter something so cold with so much conviction, but I can’t find it in me to blame the man. He’s been through hell and back and survived, and he only looks that much stronger in my eyes. I take another long sip of my wine and get up from the chair to plant myself between Daryl’s open thighs. He looks up at me, a haunted darkness lurking in those blue depths, and I bring my hands up to his face.

“You’re a good man, Daryl Dixon,” I tell him confidently. His face flushes, but he doesn’t make a move to pull away. “Despite what you’ve been through, you haven’t lost yourself. You’re the most loyal, caring person I’ve ever met. Don’t lose that. Ever.”

Then I kiss him, hard and fast, and he responds just as fervently. His arms uncross and wind around my waist, pulling me against him as he remains sitting. His hands splay across my back, wandering, exploring, and I let mine tangle in his dark hair, tugging it when his tongue licks across my bottom lip. It pries my mouth open, and I sigh into his mouth when our tongues meet. He’s warm and so inviting, and he tastes like heaven.

He stands, his hands drifting downwards to my ass, where they squeeze, and I gasp, arching into him. My fingers move from his hair to his vest and I peel it from his shoulders. Against my hip I can feel his growing desire for me, and it only fuels the fire burning beneath my skin. He lets me strip him of his vest, and it lands somewhere on the kitchen floor. A burning smell reaches my nose, and at first I think it’s me, but then I remember with a curse. I break away to shut the stove off, dinner forgotten in our moment of passion. Regardless of the nightmare of the night before, regardless of how exposed I’d felt, I need this, and Daryl’s body tells me it needs it just as badly.

There’s no stopping tonight.