Status: Complete.
Scribbles of a Broken Heart
In Trouble
“Oh shit…Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!”
“Constance calm down.”
“I can’t calm down!”
“Yes you can,” Garrett assured. “Just take deep breaths.”
“Shut up!”
I was pacing so fast that a warm tingle erupted on the bottom of my feet from the carpet in Garrett’s room.
He sighed, “I already said I was sorry.”
“Eh! This is all your fault you know.”
“I know, I know.”
We have had this exact conversation or some variation of it the whole bus ride home.
“How the hell am I going to explain this to my parents?”
“Do you really think it’ll be that bad?”
“Bad? No. Catastrophic! Disastrous! At 5:01 my life is over.”
“It’s not like you have to tell them everything.”
“They have ways to make things come out of my mouth involuntarily! I’ll start feeling extremely bad and guilty for lying to them for the past two months and everything will just come out in the open!”
“I think you’re over exaggerating.”
I put a hand to my forehead, and slowed down my steps to a brisk walk.
“More like under exaggerating.”
Garrett stood up from his bed, about to touch me, but decided against it since I was moving so quickly. He walked over and stood daringly close to me.
“I know that you’re probably gonna like me even less for saying this but, it’s only a detention.”
I stopped abruptly and turned to face him, “I could slap you right now.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in violence,” he muttered.
“I do when the occasion calls for it!”
“Could you please sit down?”
I shook my head and started pacing again. Even those mere seconds of motionlessness made my body protest. I had to keep moving.
Garrett sighed and fell back on his bed again.
“It isn’t that big of a deal!”
I took out the folded yellow paper from my breast pocket and threw it at him.
“Do you know that thing says?”
“Of course I know what it says; it says the exact same thing on mine.”
“Arg!” I screamed before loosely clapping both hands over my face. “'After-School Detention: Indecent display of affection and inappropriate touching between the opposite sexes,’” I reiterated what the slip said.
“When you think about it, Mrs. Roser was just being redundant when she wrote that. I mean, she couldn’t have just said ‘PDA?’”
“So not helping!”
“Sorry,” he apologized again.
My heart rate was so sped up that I had to force myself to lie down. I closed my eyes and just felt Garrett’s presence beside me—stroking my hair in a comforting manner.
I started talking in a voice much quieter, “What are my parents gonna say? They’re going to know once I tell them that they have to pick me up from school at four-thirty. And they’re gonna what to know why. And I’m probably gonna tell them the truth because I’m afraid that they’re going to know I’m lying. And then they’ll ask what I did and what boy it was with. And then I’ll break, and I’ll say that it was you…and both parents are going to know because we both have to go to detention tomorrow. We’ll both get in trouble…and they’ll do everything to keep us apart.”
“That isn’t going to happen,” I heard him say. “You’re thinking too negatively.”
However, we both heard the underlying sadness in his voice. What I said was a depressingly true possibility of what could happen.
“I think I’m gonna cry,” I said seriously. I turned over on my side so that I was facing the wall instead.
“Please don’t cry. It isn’t that serious.”
“I know,” I said bitterly. “You and everyone else think I’m being too dramatic. But you have no idea what I would have to put up with. My parents would be yelling at me for hours, not caring that what they say will no doubt bring me to tears. They would barely talk to me for a week and then some. You don’t have a clue how scared I am of that happening. I am never sadder than when they’re mad at me.” Tears built up in my eyes and my breathing became more labored. “They throw all my imperfections back at me. When they’re mad at me, it’s like they don’t care about how I feel anymore. Because in their eyes, for that moment…I am a disappointment and not their daughter.”
“Constance…”
I just shook my head and brought my knees in close to my body. When I blinked two tears fell from each eye, horizontally crossing my face.
“Sorry,” I muttered while I wiped the tears away with the backside of my hand. “I cry too easily.”
“I didn’t know your parents were like that.”
I sat up and leaned against the wall, hugging my knees. “It’s whatever. It’s not like they don’t love me or abuse me or anything.”
I was glad that I was able to control my tears at the moment. I wasn’t so overcome that they would appear involuntarily. I just had to keep taking deep breaths so the emotions would not build up in my chest. In addition, Garrett had to put up with my crying less than a week ago. I didn’t want him to think that I was so sensitive and dramatic. I wouldn’t force him to wipe away tears.
“I’ll find a way to get you out of it. I’m the one that decided to kiss you on the cheek after school yesterday. I know it was stupid, especially while we were still at school. But I really didn’t think that anyone was watching us.”
I looked down at his bed sheets; agreeing would be too unfair to him.
“I’ll take all the blame for it,” he offered.
I shook my head, “Maybe it’s time for things to come out in the open. I mean, I think we both knew that we couldn’t keep this a secret forever.”
“No. You said yourself that you’re parents wouldn’t let us see each other if we told them.”
“So what do I say to them?”
“Umm,” he said while he thought. “You could tell them that we were hugging and the teacher thought that I kissed you.”
“Uhh,” I started exploring possible lies as well. “What if we say that we got them for different reasons? That it’s just a coincidence that we got them on the same day. Too coincidental?”
He crawled over so that we were side by side. Then he gently pushed my head to his shoulder before slipping an arm around my waste.
“Not if we have good enough reasons I don’t think.”
I nodded.
“I’m gonna make things okay,” he promised. “I’ll make sure that everything’s going to be just fine.”
“Constance calm down.”
“I can’t calm down!”
“Yes you can,” Garrett assured. “Just take deep breaths.”
“Shut up!”
I was pacing so fast that a warm tingle erupted on the bottom of my feet from the carpet in Garrett’s room.
He sighed, “I already said I was sorry.”
“Eh! This is all your fault you know.”
“I know, I know.”
We have had this exact conversation or some variation of it the whole bus ride home.
“How the hell am I going to explain this to my parents?”
“Do you really think it’ll be that bad?”
“Bad? No. Catastrophic! Disastrous! At 5:01 my life is over.”
“It’s not like you have to tell them everything.”
“They have ways to make things come out of my mouth involuntarily! I’ll start feeling extremely bad and guilty for lying to them for the past two months and everything will just come out in the open!”
“I think you’re over exaggerating.”
I put a hand to my forehead, and slowed down my steps to a brisk walk.
“More like under exaggerating.”
Garrett stood up from his bed, about to touch me, but decided against it since I was moving so quickly. He walked over and stood daringly close to me.
“I know that you’re probably gonna like me even less for saying this but, it’s only a detention.”
I stopped abruptly and turned to face him, “I could slap you right now.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in violence,” he muttered.
“I do when the occasion calls for it!”
“Could you please sit down?”
I shook my head and started pacing again. Even those mere seconds of motionlessness made my body protest. I had to keep moving.
Garrett sighed and fell back on his bed again.
“It isn’t that big of a deal!”
I took out the folded yellow paper from my breast pocket and threw it at him.
“Do you know that thing says?”
“Of course I know what it says; it says the exact same thing on mine.”
“Arg!” I screamed before loosely clapping both hands over my face. “'After-School Detention: Indecent display of affection and inappropriate touching between the opposite sexes,’” I reiterated what the slip said.
“When you think about it, Mrs. Roser was just being redundant when she wrote that. I mean, she couldn’t have just said ‘PDA?’”
“So not helping!”
“Sorry,” he apologized again.
My heart rate was so sped up that I had to force myself to lie down. I closed my eyes and just felt Garrett’s presence beside me—stroking my hair in a comforting manner.
I started talking in a voice much quieter, “What are my parents gonna say? They’re going to know once I tell them that they have to pick me up from school at four-thirty. And they’re gonna what to know why. And I’m probably gonna tell them the truth because I’m afraid that they’re going to know I’m lying. And then they’ll ask what I did and what boy it was with. And then I’ll break, and I’ll say that it was you…and both parents are going to know because we both have to go to detention tomorrow. We’ll both get in trouble…and they’ll do everything to keep us apart.”
“That isn’t going to happen,” I heard him say. “You’re thinking too negatively.”
However, we both heard the underlying sadness in his voice. What I said was a depressingly true possibility of what could happen.
“I think I’m gonna cry,” I said seriously. I turned over on my side so that I was facing the wall instead.
“Please don’t cry. It isn’t that serious.”
“I know,” I said bitterly. “You and everyone else think I’m being too dramatic. But you have no idea what I would have to put up with. My parents would be yelling at me for hours, not caring that what they say will no doubt bring me to tears. They would barely talk to me for a week and then some. You don’t have a clue how scared I am of that happening. I am never sadder than when they’re mad at me.” Tears built up in my eyes and my breathing became more labored. “They throw all my imperfections back at me. When they’re mad at me, it’s like they don’t care about how I feel anymore. Because in their eyes, for that moment…I am a disappointment and not their daughter.”
“Constance…”
I just shook my head and brought my knees in close to my body. When I blinked two tears fell from each eye, horizontally crossing my face.
“Sorry,” I muttered while I wiped the tears away with the backside of my hand. “I cry too easily.”
“I didn’t know your parents were like that.”
I sat up and leaned against the wall, hugging my knees. “It’s whatever. It’s not like they don’t love me or abuse me or anything.”
I was glad that I was able to control my tears at the moment. I wasn’t so overcome that they would appear involuntarily. I just had to keep taking deep breaths so the emotions would not build up in my chest. In addition, Garrett had to put up with my crying less than a week ago. I didn’t want him to think that I was so sensitive and dramatic. I wouldn’t force him to wipe away tears.
“I’ll find a way to get you out of it. I’m the one that decided to kiss you on the cheek after school yesterday. I know it was stupid, especially while we were still at school. But I really didn’t think that anyone was watching us.”
I looked down at his bed sheets; agreeing would be too unfair to him.
“I’ll take all the blame for it,” he offered.
I shook my head, “Maybe it’s time for things to come out in the open. I mean, I think we both knew that we couldn’t keep this a secret forever.”
“No. You said yourself that you’re parents wouldn’t let us see each other if we told them.”
“So what do I say to them?”
“Umm,” he said while he thought. “You could tell them that we were hugging and the teacher thought that I kissed you.”
“Uhh,” I started exploring possible lies as well. “What if we say that we got them for different reasons? That it’s just a coincidence that we got them on the same day. Too coincidental?”
He crawled over so that we were side by side. Then he gently pushed my head to his shoulder before slipping an arm around my waste.
“Not if we have good enough reasons I don’t think.”
I nodded.
“I’m gonna make things okay,” he promised. “I’ll make sure that everything’s going to be just fine.”
♠ ♠ ♠
yeah, more drama....sorry?i was in a sad mood when i wrote this.
i heart feedback.