Scribbles of a Broken Heart

Ms. Templeton’s eyes formed into a squint as she placed her chin in the palm of her hand.

“You told me that just a few weeks prior to that event that you did all you could to stay away from Garrett. You didn’t look at him, speak to him, or even stand too close to him. And then he does this one thing for you—poof—all efforts gone.”

My eyes narrowed, “Think of it like this. A smoker quits cold turkey. For a few weeks she finds something else to control her cravings—candy or soda or something. And then one day, she’s exiting a restaurant and there is this man right outside the door smoking a cigarette, a cloud of smoke surrounding him. The pain of the withdrawal symptoms and her brain’s need for the dopamine overtake her and she bums one off the man. And poof,” I mocked her, “all efforts gone.”

”Now remember, act sad and depressed, ‘kay?”

I nodded. Garrett and I were tangled in each other’s arms at his locker, near the front of the hallway. It was the end of the day and we were reluctant to say goodbye. Throughout the course of the school day I was constantly being asked if Garrett and I were back together. I didn’t even know what to say to them. We never really wanted to break up in the first place.
We were not sure whether or not it counted. In our eyes, we were inseparable.

“No, seriously…Constance! Stop smiling.”

I laughed, “I can’t help it.”

He placed his hand under my chin and quickly placed a kiss on my nose.

“It’s good to see you smiling again, though.”

I hugged him one last time before stepping away. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying my hardest to look unhappy. I opened up and the first thing I saw was Garrett’s face just a few inches from mine.

I started to giggle and I hit his shoulder.

“I really have to go; I’m usually out of school just five minutes after the bell.”

He sighed, “Okay. Talk to you tonight?”

I shook my head. “My parents suddenly got the urge to be even bigger bitches and keep my phone in their room at night.”

“Ugh. Tomorrow, at practice. Get dressed quickly and I’ll meet you near the pool. We’ll start scheming then.”

“And that’s how it was for an entire week. We would talk about the plans to get us back together at swim practice and meets. And then we would just hang before homeroom and the few minutes we could spare afterschool. This time, sneaking around was so much harder.”

“Did you feel more or less guilty compared to the first time?”

I thought for second. “I felt guiltier. But, I didn’t care as much. Sure, I was lying to my parents and blah, blah, blah. But I was so much happier in that state of betrayal. In my mind, I prayed that the end would justify the means. They had to.”

Ms. Templeton bobbed her head up and down as her pen glided along the bottom of her notebook. She glanced at her wristwatch before speaking.

“Today’s session is almost over.”

My heart sunk. Last night at home was not at all good.

‘Maybe I’ll actually try on tonight’s homework,’ I thought.

“Do you want to get in one last story before you leave?”

I shook my head, “It’s too long. I’ll keep you in suspense.”

We sat there in silence until I felt my phone vibrate.

“That’s my parents.”

“See you tomorrow,” she bid.

“As if I have a choice.”