Thick and Juicy

“This is ridiculous,” my best friend and coworker, Leo said, looking between the two girls in front of us.

The pair were both dressed in the standard Gia’s Café uniform, a teal Gia’s t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. On this day things were a bit different. Their shirts were cleaner, jeans tighter and shoes nicer. They had actually done something with their hair, rather than throwing it up into their usual messy buns, and they had both doubled their makeup

The most notable thing about them wasn’t how they looked. It was how they were behaving. The two were currently locked in an argument that seemed to be escalating towards a screaming match.

I nodded in agreement with Leo, but made no effort to intervene.

It all started two months prior, when this guy walked in. He was tall, having a good couple of inches on Leo who stood at six three. That tall frame was covered in pure muscle from the looks of it. Add the tattoos and scars and you had a very attractive bad boy type from the looks at it.

He was an attractive guy, but still just a guy, which was why I was confused, when the rest of the wait staff seemingly lost their shit. They were acting like those royal family fangirls, who practically stalked Prince Noctis and then fainted, when they saw him.

I hadn’t thought anything of it, assigned him a table and moved on with life. He came in again, and we repeated the process. The next time he came in things got interesting. One of the girls offered to cover one of my tables for me in exchange for me sitting him in her section. To be more specific, she offered to cover the Birds.

The Birds were a group of older women, who came in once a week, and I swear it was just to torment me. They were well off, and well-mannered at least in their behavior. Their personalities were a whole other story. Every time they came in they picked and picked and picked at everything, the food, the tables, the water, the napkins, and me. Holly hell did they pick a me. My height, my weight, my posture, my hair color, my hair style. It was never blatantly hostile, always marked with a soft tone and an intent to ‘help’ me. I called them the birds, because of their nonstop squawking.

I took it. Any chance to not have to wait on those hags I would take, no matter how big the tip was.

I hadn’t expected it to escalate. The guy kept coming in and the girls started to one up another. When he started to request a window seat in my section, they weren’t deterred, begging for my table. They took the birds, gave me tables with big tippers, one even offered to walk my dog for a week. It was madness. And now it seemed the madness was going to have to come to an end, because they were probably fifteen minutes away from a fist fight at this point, and that wouldn’t do.

“He’s not even here. Why are you arguing?” I asked.

I wasn’t expecting a real answer, I wasn’t expecting the arguing to intensify either, and I wasn’t expecting him to walk through the door at that moment.

I sighed, knowing my game was over and that I was once again going to have to deal with the biddies. While they were distracted with each other, I snuck out of the kitchen to the podium.

“Usual spot,” I asked, when I walked up to him.

“If it’s open,” he said.

“Because it’s been occupied every other time,” I teased, leading him to the table.

“Who is it today?” he asked, when I sat the menu down in front of him.

“Me,” I responded.

“Oh really? And what have I done to earn your services? I feel honored.”

I rolled my eyes. “I wait on people. I do more than stand behind the podium.”

“I know,” he said, “But you’ve never waited on me before. No good offers?”

“Excuse me.”

“Lev, let it slip that she traded her table for yours.”

“The jig is up,” I said. “I apologize for using you, but I had a pretty sweet gig going.”

He chuckled. “I can’t say that I blame you. You want me to bring my friends in, see what else you can get?”

I snorted. “I appreciate the thought, but I’m done. Things are getting hostile between the girls, I fear that it might flow over into physical violence soon. Well I don’t fear it, I can beat all of them, but it’s not a good look for Gia’s. Now, do you actually have to look at the menu or do you know what you want, because usually the regulars have a favorite?”

“BLT on wheat,” he said.

“Fries?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Beverage?”

“Water.”

“Any special message you want me to take back to your fans?”

“No need to fight, there’s enough Gladio to go around.”

I raised brow, but smirked. “Play on player. I’ll be back out with your water.”

I returned to the kitchen and was met with synchronized death glares.

“Wheat BLT and fries,” I told Leo, handing him the slip.

“What the hell?”

“Why would you do that?”

I grabbed Gladio’s water. I turned on the two. “Maybe if you two hadn’t decided to fight like that one of you could’ve waited on him, but no. Also, I need you two to remember some things. I am the head of wait staff, not you. I run that dining room, not you. I can give and take whichever table from whoever at any given time. Now, if you excuse me, I have a customer to wait on, and so do you.”

I was actually surprised by Gladio, I always kind of figured that the sheep in the back were distracted by his looks, but he was pretty decent. He was charming, and he used his manners unlike a majority of our customers. He was a reader too. I was as well, which sort of became a bonding point for us in his later visits.

“Here,” I said, a few weeks later. I had continued to wait on Gladio, seeing that one he requested my table, two the girls still bickered about it, and three, he had become one of my favorite patrons. I set his food down and a novel that I adored. “Plot’s fairly predictable, but that characters are amazing,” I explained.

He picked it up and leafed through it.

“Did you ever look at the two I told you about last week?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Listen okay, the whole angsty hunter shtick has been done to death. I do not have the-“

“Predictable, but good characters,” he said, holding up the book that I had just handed him.

I shut my mouth. He got me there.

“Fine, but if they suck, I’m bringing you some terrible teen angst, and you’re going to have to read it cover to cover.”

“You like terrible teen angst.”

“But you don’t.”

The bells above the door chimed, causing me to look over.

I groaned, seeing the Birds walk in.

Gladio looked at me questioning.

“The number one reason, why I was willing to trade your table,” I explained.

“Them?”

I nodded, heading to the hostess station. “Hi, ladies,” I greeted. “The usual spot?” I asked.

“Of course, dear,” the one that I assumed was more or less the leader said.

I picked up some menus and led them to the table, before taking their drink orders.

When I came back, they were all situated and ready to pick.

“Are you ladies ready or do you need more time?”

“Did you lighten your hair since last time?” One asked.

“No,” I responded.

“Hmm, maybe it’s something that you should think about,” Two added.

I nodded, ignoring the comment.

“And bangs,” One continued.

“My daughter has a forehead like yours,” Three started. “And she got bangs and goodness she looks so much better.”

“My hair dresser and I were discussing bangs the other day,” Four.

With an actual topic for them to discuss they quickly sputtered off their orders, before talking.

Normally, comments like that didn’t bother me. I just let it roll off of me like water off a ducks back, but for some reason these ladies drove me insane. I don’t know if it was something about them or if it was just the pure amount on comments they made that had slowly worn me down.

The second I turned around, I rolled my eyes.

I headed to the back. “Birds are here,” I said, knowing that Leo would have their order memorized by now. “I’ll give you a dollar if you make a toilet water vinaigrette for their salads.”

“That is disgusting,” Levy said.

“That’s the point.”

“How would you feel if someone suggested that someone did that to your food?”

“Oh like you haven’t,” I scoffed. Levy had popped me a wicked attitude, since I quit giving up my table. Snide comment here. Snide comment there. The others had all gotten over it pretty quickly, and resigned themselves to staring as they passed or from the back and sighing dreamily.

“You should really appreciate my will,” Leo said. “I have received some really solid offers to mess with your fries.”

“The damn fries are sacred. If you messed with them, the Six would be on your ass.”

“You would be on my ass,” Leo corrected, lifting a to-go container.

“Thank you,” I said, taking it from him.

I headed back to the hostess stand and set the container underneath it, before checking on Gladio.

“You still good?” I asked.

“I already don’t like Hera,” he said, the book was open next to him, while he ate.

I refilled his water.

“Already?”

“Already.”

“She wasn’t my favorite either. It took me more than five pages to hate her though.”

“I’m twelve pages in,” he corrected.

“I’m sorry, twelve.”

“Don’t you got people to wait on?”

I narrowed my eyes at him, but took my leave.

I had a few people come in that I sat down, but for the most part was free to eat my fries, until I heard the bell ring and saw the Birds’ food was done.

I took the tray and hoisted it up on my shoulder.

“Ladies,” I said, placing the plates and bowls down in front of their respective owners.

Right after I set the last one down, I turned and accidently clipped the corner of the table with my hip, which hurt like a bitch. Nothing fell, though it was enough to make everything shake.

“You know dear, if you ate a little better, you’d probably have a little less... width there, and you’d be able to move easier,” Four said.

“Those fries we saw you munching on are horrible for you. Honestly, if you dropped those and I’m sure a ton of other things and maybe went for a walk or something every once in a while, you wouldn’t look like a hamburger.”

I didn’t know how to respond. A hamburger really? At least I could pretend to not notice their subtle jabs, but this not so much.

“You don’t like a good burger?” Gladio asked from his seat.

I gave him a look, screaming just shut up.

Of course he did the opposite. “I love them,” he said. “The best ones are the thick ones. They’re the juiciest.”

Somehow, and I am still to this day trying to figure this out, he managed to make being compared to a burger sound like a good thing. It had to be magic, the same magic that turned the girls in the back into idiots. Some magical mix of arrogance of sex appeal.

I didn’t know what to say. Neither did the ladies if their silence was something to go on. I wasn’t surprised. I had thought that I was immune to his charms, and even I was thrown.

One and Five looked pissed off, but the rest were just kind of scandalized.

“Especially a fresh one. The older ones are dry and kind of tough.”

I almost laughed. Almost. Fortunately, I was able to reign it in. “Do you need anything else?” I asked the ladies.

“No,” One said.

Gladio smirked returning to the book in front of him.

I headed back to my podium, flicking Gladio upside his head in the process. “Gonna get me fired,” I muttered.

I couldn’t help, but feel a bit smug. While I may not have done anything, I had won this round and that felt good. At the same time he continued to compare me to a god damn burger.

I waited to do my rounds, seating a few people, when they came in. When I finally went back out, I went to the biddies first, who had decided to act like the prior events hadn’t happened.

Then I went to Gladio.

“Really?” I asked.

“What?”

“You know what,” I shot.

“They’re leaving you alone,” he said.

“Did you really have to compare me to a burger?”

“I was trying to keep up the metaphor. I have no problem, saying that I think you’re an absolute beauty, but I can’t just tell a couple of ladies that they’re dried up hags.”

I snorted and glanced back at the Birds to make sure that they hadn’t heard him.

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“I’m not trying to flatter you,” he said. “You’re a babe. That’s just a fact. If I was doing trying to flatter you, I would tell you that this terrible book that you keep insisting is great is actually fantastic.”

“You’re only twelve pages in,” I argued, ignoring his compliment.

“Not the point. I am sorry for comparing you to a burger. I was just trying help.”

“Apology accepted,” I said. “Now, I gotta get back to work.”

“What are you doing after?” he asked, catching me off guard.

“Nothing. Why?”

“Why don’t you get dinner with me?” he asked.

It took me a second to process the situation. “Are you... asking me out?”

“Trying to,” he said.

I was still skeptical. Like sure we occasionally flirted, but I didn’t think he had any actual interest.

“You compared me to a burger.”

“I apologized, and you forgave me. And in case you forgot, I did say that I liked burgers.”

“Yeah, thick and juicy, I remember.”

“Again the metaphor could use some work, but I meant what I said, and I’d like to get to know you, outside of your favorite books, and least favorite customers.”

I eyed him for a moment trying to gauge his reaction. Was he screwing with me?

While the arrogance was still there, it was nothing like it usually was. His eyes were somewhat softer and I came to the conclusion that he was being sincere.

Who in their right mind would say no to him?

Of course I wasn’t going to let that show.

“I’ll go out with you,” I said. “But, only when you finish this.” I held up my book.

I was going to make him suffer a bit.

He rolled his eyes, but grinned none the less. “So tomorrow then?”

I grinned back. “Tomorrow.”