Status: Active!
If We Jump
I've Seen More Spine In Jellyfish
Stephen had been home for around two weeks. They were taking a little break from touring, meaning he would be around more. When he came home from Europe, I expected our relationship to be the same as it was earlier. I was quite wrong. Before he left, Stephen and I were in love. I still love him, don’t get me wrong, but now I’m not so sure he feels the same.
For the past few days, he’s been ignoring my texts and calls. Whenever I saw him in person, he seemed a little off. He seemed almost sad, but he wouldn’t tell me why. John and the others had no clue, but I knew he had been talking to Jamie again now that he was back in Arizona. I didn’t have the right to stop them from talking, but I didn’t trust her one bit.
Last night we had gotten into a stupid little fight over it. We were laying in his bed making out a little. His phone vibrated with a text from none other than Jamie. Instead of just ignoring it, like he usually did, he jumped at the chance to talk to her and practically ran to his phone. That’s what the fight was about. The fact that his ex-girlfriend was more important than me, the girl he supposedly loved.
I couldn’t even think about Stephen cheating on me. After everything with Brent and my father, it took me so long to really open up to Stephen. Look where that got me. If he cheated on me, I honestly don’t know what I’d do.
I was still lying in bed. I looked at the clock – 11:00 a.m. I sighed; I guess I can’t just lay here forever. I had taken the day off from work and my letters from the colleges I applied to should be coming any day now. I rolled out of bed and put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and was about to walk outside to check the mail when my phone rang.
“Hey, Dakotah, look I’m sorry okay?” he had said. I forgave him because he was my boyfriend, but I was still mad. He had promised we would hang out tonight, but after a few minutes he said, “Oh wait, Jamie wanted to hang out. You can come too. John’s throwing a party so just come by later”. I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice and just hung up the phone on him.
I went to the mailbox and found three large envelopes addressed to me. One of them was a rejection letter, from The Art Institute of Virginia Beach. The other two were acceptances from The Rhode Island School of Design and Herberger Institute for Design and of the Arts in Arizona. Now I just had to decide. Ever since I was little I had wanted to go to RISD but it was so far away from the place I now called my home. It would mean leaving my mother and my brother and all of my friends.
I shook the thoughts from my head before I could dwell on the subject and brought the letters back inside the house. I told my mom the news and she congratulated me, insisting we go out to dinner tomorrow night to celebrate. I went upstairs to my room and started getting ready to see Stephen. I hadn’t wanted to go before, but now that I had news to tell him, I was excited.
I took a shower and did my makeup before leaving the bathroom. I checked my phone. I had a message from Josh that read party starts at 7. It was 4:30 now. I got dressed and wandered downstairs to watch TV until it was time to leave. I ended up falling asleep on the couch and being 2 hours late to the party. I had called Stephen numerous times on my way, but they were all sent to voicemail.
I parked in front of their neighbor’s house since the street was lined with cars everywhere else. I dialed Stephen’s number and made my way to his front door. Outside the house was relatively quiet but I could see lights and people dancing through the windows. Just as I was about to open the door, I noticed something. Vrrrrrrt. Vrrrrrrt. Vrrrrrrt. It was a phone vibrating. Stephen’s phone. I couldn’t tell where it was coming from, but I heard leaves move and someone whispering. I stepped off the porch and rounded the side of the house. Just as I had stepped around one of the bushes, there he was- tongue tied with Jamie.
Her hands were tangled in Stephen’s hair and I could see her tongue going into his mouth. Stephen’s face looked confused, and his hands remained in his pockets instead of on Jamie’s body. However, his mouth still moved along with hers. He didn’t make any attempt to stop her, to push her away.
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I was gone. Beyond wasted, but I couldn’t figure out how. I had only a couple drinks, hadn’t I? I had a pounding headache and seeing had become slightly difficult, but I was managing. I was dancing with some of my friends from town in my living room. John threw this party but was nowhere to be found now. There were well over 100 people in my house now and it was getting difficult to breathe so I walked out to the front porch for some air. I sat on the steps and soon heard someone following me.
“Hey you.” Jamie said, sitting beside me. I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands. I started thinking about Kodah. I never wanted anything more than her, but lately we were fighting a lot and I didn’t know why. Jamie and I were closer now, only as friends, and I thought Dakotah knew that. I was starting to think it would be easier to just cut Jamie out of my life completely. “Something wrong?” she asked with fake sympathy.
“Maybe we shouldn’t be hanging out so much.” I said.
“but- but Stephen!” she protested. “I have to go” I told her and stood up. I walked towards the side of the house, planning to go around to the backyard, but she caught my arm near one of the bushes.
“This is about her isn’t it? This is because you’re fighting right?” she said. I nodded. “Maybe she knows Stephen. Maybe she finally realized that she can do better and she doesn’t need to be with you anymore. Think about it, you just leave her for months at a time. Maybe she can’t handle it. Let her find someone that can actually make her happy. Don’t you want that for her?”
“What?” I couldn’t process what she was saying. Kodah didn’t want to be with me anymore?
“C’mon Stephen. You both deserve better than what you have.” She moved closer to me. Maybe she was right. She tilted her head and I let my eyes close for just a moment as her lips touched mine. Before I realized what I was doing and could push her away, I heard something that resembled a whimper come from behind me. There she was with her hand over her mouth and tears spilling out of her eyes. I looked at Jamie with disgust, she had done that on purpose. Ever since she came home to Arizona, she had been trying to break up Dakotah and I and she knew that I was less than sober when she kissed me.
Dakotah backed away slowly, then turned and ran. I felt sharp pains in my stomach as the realization of what I had just done sunk in. I ran after her and caught her a few yards away from her car. “Dakotah, wait! Let me explain!” I said, grabbing her wrist. She yanked it away from me. I caught the look in her eyes before she broke away from me. As girly as it is, I felt my heart breaking from that look. Not once had I ever seen someone look so hurt, and the fact that it was her and that I caused her pain, killed me.
“No Stephen, we’re done.” She said and got in her car. How the fuck was I going to fix this now? After she pulled away, I felt myself standing there for a few minutes, trying to think through everything that just happened. First I was upset, now I was furious. I walked back to where I had left Jamie when Dakotah showed up.
“Why do you do this?” I yelled down at her. She tried acting innocent and even pretended to cry when she realized I wouldn’t forgive her. “Ever since you’ve been back, you’ve been trying to break us up. Why do you suck all the good out my life? Do you realize what you did?” I yelled.
“She’ll get over it Stephen she’s fine!” she yelled and stomped away. I kicked over the potted plant nearby and heard it shatter. The panic started to set in and I went inside.
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I had just come downstairs with the girl I just hooked up with trailing behind when I saw Stephen burst through the door. He looked like he was having a panic attack to say the least. His hands were pulling his hair and his eyes were wide. “Stephen, what’s up with you?” I asked.
“John! I fucked up, man. I just… I don’t… I can’t…” he tried to say. I had never seen him like this. He was mad, I could tell by the way his hands were shaking.
“Woah, calm down Stephen. What happened?” I gripped his shoulders. By now Josh, Jess and Brian had found us and were standing around. He explained what just occurred- using some very strong language I might add.
“I don’t… I don’t know what to do.” he was pulling on his hair and looking desperately at all of us. No one really knew what to say but after a little while Josh spoke up.
"Maybe just give her some space for a few days, let her think things through."
For the past few days, he’s been ignoring my texts and calls. Whenever I saw him in person, he seemed a little off. He seemed almost sad, but he wouldn’t tell me why. John and the others had no clue, but I knew he had been talking to Jamie again now that he was back in Arizona. I didn’t have the right to stop them from talking, but I didn’t trust her one bit.
Last night we had gotten into a stupid little fight over it. We were laying in his bed making out a little. His phone vibrated with a text from none other than Jamie. Instead of just ignoring it, like he usually did, he jumped at the chance to talk to her and practically ran to his phone. That’s what the fight was about. The fact that his ex-girlfriend was more important than me, the girl he supposedly loved.
I couldn’t even think about Stephen cheating on me. After everything with Brent and my father, it took me so long to really open up to Stephen. Look where that got me. If he cheated on me, I honestly don’t know what I’d do.
I was still lying in bed. I looked at the clock – 11:00 a.m. I sighed; I guess I can’t just lay here forever. I had taken the day off from work and my letters from the colleges I applied to should be coming any day now. I rolled out of bed and put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and was about to walk outside to check the mail when my phone rang.
“Hey, Dakotah, look I’m sorry okay?” he had said. I forgave him because he was my boyfriend, but I was still mad. He had promised we would hang out tonight, but after a few minutes he said, “Oh wait, Jamie wanted to hang out. You can come too. John’s throwing a party so just come by later”. I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice and just hung up the phone on him.
I went to the mailbox and found three large envelopes addressed to me. One of them was a rejection letter, from The Art Institute of Virginia Beach. The other two were acceptances from The Rhode Island School of Design and Herberger Institute for Design and of the Arts in Arizona. Now I just had to decide. Ever since I was little I had wanted to go to RISD but it was so far away from the place I now called my home. It would mean leaving my mother and my brother and all of my friends.
I shook the thoughts from my head before I could dwell on the subject and brought the letters back inside the house. I told my mom the news and she congratulated me, insisting we go out to dinner tomorrow night to celebrate. I went upstairs to my room and started getting ready to see Stephen. I hadn’t wanted to go before, but now that I had news to tell him, I was excited.
I took a shower and did my makeup before leaving the bathroom. I checked my phone. I had a message from Josh that read party starts at 7. It was 4:30 now. I got dressed and wandered downstairs to watch TV until it was time to leave. I ended up falling asleep on the couch and being 2 hours late to the party. I had called Stephen numerous times on my way, but they were all sent to voicemail.
I parked in front of their neighbor’s house since the street was lined with cars everywhere else. I dialed Stephen’s number and made my way to his front door. Outside the house was relatively quiet but I could see lights and people dancing through the windows. Just as I was about to open the door, I noticed something. Vrrrrrrt. Vrrrrrrt. Vrrrrrrt. It was a phone vibrating. Stephen’s phone. I couldn’t tell where it was coming from, but I heard leaves move and someone whispering. I stepped off the porch and rounded the side of the house. Just as I had stepped around one of the bushes, there he was- tongue tied with Jamie.
Her hands were tangled in Stephen’s hair and I could see her tongue going into his mouth. Stephen’s face looked confused, and his hands remained in his pockets instead of on Jamie’s body. However, his mouth still moved along with hers. He didn’t make any attempt to stop her, to push her away.
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Stephen’s P.O.V.
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I was gone. Beyond wasted, but I couldn’t figure out how. I had only a couple drinks, hadn’t I? I had a pounding headache and seeing had become slightly difficult, but I was managing. I was dancing with some of my friends from town in my living room. John threw this party but was nowhere to be found now. There were well over 100 people in my house now and it was getting difficult to breathe so I walked out to the front porch for some air. I sat on the steps and soon heard someone following me.
“Hey you.” Jamie said, sitting beside me. I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands. I started thinking about Kodah. I never wanted anything more than her, but lately we were fighting a lot and I didn’t know why. Jamie and I were closer now, only as friends, and I thought Dakotah knew that. I was starting to think it would be easier to just cut Jamie out of my life completely. “Something wrong?” she asked with fake sympathy.
“Maybe we shouldn’t be hanging out so much.” I said.
“but- but Stephen!” she protested. “I have to go” I told her and stood up. I walked towards the side of the house, planning to go around to the backyard, but she caught my arm near one of the bushes.
“This is about her isn’t it? This is because you’re fighting right?” she said. I nodded. “Maybe she knows Stephen. Maybe she finally realized that she can do better and she doesn’t need to be with you anymore. Think about it, you just leave her for months at a time. Maybe she can’t handle it. Let her find someone that can actually make her happy. Don’t you want that for her?”
“What?” I couldn’t process what she was saying. Kodah didn’t want to be with me anymore?
“C’mon Stephen. You both deserve better than what you have.” She moved closer to me. Maybe she was right. She tilted her head and I let my eyes close for just a moment as her lips touched mine. Before I realized what I was doing and could push her away, I heard something that resembled a whimper come from behind me. There she was with her hand over her mouth and tears spilling out of her eyes. I looked at Jamie with disgust, she had done that on purpose. Ever since she came home to Arizona, she had been trying to break up Dakotah and I and she knew that I was less than sober when she kissed me.
Dakotah backed away slowly, then turned and ran. I felt sharp pains in my stomach as the realization of what I had just done sunk in. I ran after her and caught her a few yards away from her car. “Dakotah, wait! Let me explain!” I said, grabbing her wrist. She yanked it away from me. I caught the look in her eyes before she broke away from me. As girly as it is, I felt my heart breaking from that look. Not once had I ever seen someone look so hurt, and the fact that it was her and that I caused her pain, killed me.
“No Stephen, we’re done.” She said and got in her car. How the fuck was I going to fix this now? After she pulled away, I felt myself standing there for a few minutes, trying to think through everything that just happened. First I was upset, now I was furious. I walked back to where I had left Jamie when Dakotah showed up.
“Why do you do this?” I yelled down at her. She tried acting innocent and even pretended to cry when she realized I wouldn’t forgive her. “Ever since you’ve been back, you’ve been trying to break us up. Why do you suck all the good out my life? Do you realize what you did?” I yelled.
“She’ll get over it Stephen she’s fine!” she yelled and stomped away. I kicked over the potted plant nearby and heard it shatter. The panic started to set in and I went inside.
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John’s P.O.V.
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I had just come downstairs with the girl I just hooked up with trailing behind when I saw Stephen burst through the door. He looked like he was having a panic attack to say the least. His hands were pulling his hair and his eyes were wide. “Stephen, what’s up with you?” I asked.
“John! I fucked up, man. I just… I don’t… I can’t…” he tried to say. I had never seen him like this. He was mad, I could tell by the way his hands were shaking.
“Woah, calm down Stephen. What happened?” I gripped his shoulders. By now Josh, Jess and Brian had found us and were standing around. He explained what just occurred- using some very strong language I might add.
“I don’t… I don’t know what to do.” he was pulling on his hair and looking desperately at all of us. No one really knew what to say but after a little while Josh spoke up.
"Maybe just give her some space for a few days, let her think things through."
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Oh snap, Jamie's back!