Blue Valentine
FEBRUARY 14th, 1946
They say that time is relative, that one’s perception of it shifts with age and experience. The truth of it, at least so it seemed to Mabel, was that time was just a relentless force, forever pushing you forward…beating, pulling and bruising. It didn’t speed up or slow down. James’ wrist watch just continued to tick away, unaffected by her grief. Days were weeks and weeks to months and she would just float through, aching from the pain but unable to change a thing. It had been over a year since she received the letter that the love of her life wouldn’t be coming home. The war was over and won and her friends had all begun to get married off. She attempted to continue life as it was before, but every night she still found herself lying awake in bed listening to the ticking of his watch.
On most holidays, her friends would invite her into their home, but this date was one that no one but a lover could satiate: Valentine’s Day. The last of which she had spent lying in a bath of cold water with an emptied bottle of wine on the floor beside her. This year, however, was much more reasonable. After washing her hands to rid of any possible contamination, she reached into the top drawer of her dresser and pulled out his sergeant’s uniform. As if contact with her skin would make it disintegrate, she gingerly placed it on the bed and sat crossed-legged, simply staring at it. After a long, contemplated moment, she gently dragged her fingers down the tan brown lapel. This wasn’t the first time she’d spend Valentine’s Day with this particular set of clothes.
“Pretty Peach, are you ready yet? I’m missin’ you out here” a deep male voice called from the other side of the door.
Mabel frantically continued to pin up her hair. “Hold on, Buck! Besides, I already told you to come in, it’s not as if you haven’t seen me like this before,” she teased, referring to the fact that she wore only her undergarments.
“And I already told you that tonight is going to be special and I’m not going to spoil it by being too antsy.”
“But I’m antsy!”
“Well then you’d better hurry up.”
After what felt like a thousand years for her, Mabel finally smacked her lipstick and flung open the door to see her boyfriend lighting a cigarette and leaning up against her balcony wall in perhaps the most attractive look she’d ever seen him in. He wore his military dress uniform and his cap was cocked just ever so slightly to the side, helping him retain his flirty, boyish air despite the tremendous responsibility the outfit inferred.
Upon looking back up to his eyes, she noticed he’d been giving her the same seduced scrutiny. “Happy Valentine’s, solider,” Mabel purred.
“Happy Valentine's, doll.”
February 14th, 1943. That was the night he proposed to her. It was magic; an absolute dream. Bucky Barnes had been her crush for quite some time. They’d first met in 1935 in an art class his best friend Steve had dragged him to attend. Little had she known he’d taken just as strong a fancy to her as she him. She never thought he’d choose her, though, as all the other girls in the class clamored for his attention. It took a particularly nerve-wracking assignment for them to realize they had shared affections. The task was to draw a portrait of a fellow classmate and they had undeniably chosen one another.
“Would anyone like to share their work” the teacher asked hopefully. “Who knows, perhaps you’ll make a new friend of whomever you’ve drawn!”
The classroom remained silent until a girl named Jill peeked over at Mabel’s work and gasped. “Oh, you simply must show yours!” Although she whispered, the entire room could hear and Mabel cringed.
“We would love that Ms. Jones! Whom did you draw?” the art teacher smiled kindly.
Tucking a smoothed curl behind her ear, Mabel answered, trying to sound as confident as she could, “Well, I chose…uh, James…since he is right across from me.”
“May we see?”
Choking on her heartbeat, she lifted up her sketch pad and turned it around to face the class who collectively murmured in praise. Her eyes stared right at her muse, however, whose mouth fell agape before curling into an amazed grin. Mabel bit back her smile. She always loved how he didn’t smirk like most boys she knew. Whenever he smiled, both edges of his lips would turn up like an excited child. She felt like such a creep noticing things like that, but she simply couldn’t keep her eyes off of him.
“Amazing work indeed, Ms. Jones! I wonder if we might see James’, then? Who was your model?”
He was quick to answer, not looking away from her. “I drew Mabel,” his expression was bemused when he crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat as Steve chuckled. “But I can’t show it.”
“And why is that?”
“Well, Mrs. Hobbs, it doesn’t do her justice.”
At this, the teacher smiled knowingly and said, “I told you we’d make friends today.”
While her life was never going to be the same and she was unsure how to truly move on, she’d prepared for this day. Tucked in her dress just above her heart was a thin sheet of paper spritzed in her perfume. Knowing it would never truly be read by him, writing a response to his last letter seemed like the goodbye she was never able to give. It had taken her several tries to get it right, but eventually she was able to sign her name and seal it with a kiss of red lipstick, his favorite on her, and slide it into a tiny envelope. She’d tried to write long, detailed letters for her first few tries but she ended up leaving it short and sweet:
To my Bucky,
I heard that train ride was a bit rough. I hope you’re somewhere safe now. It’s quite hard here without you, but I’ll always know you’ve left for something you believed in and I couldn’t be more proud or any more in love with you for it. Steve was lucky to have you by his side out there. You’ve probably seen him since, wherever you are, but he’s gone, too. He got the Squids in the end, but they were never able to find him...he had to put Schmidt’s plane into the water. I’m awful proud of you both, actually. Perhaps I’m the lucky one.
As for your question, I think light blue would be perfect for the wedding; it would match your eyes just as well... I did pick out my gown and I can’t wait for you to see it.
See you soon.
Xoxo Mabel
Tucking it in the breast pocket of his jacket, she sighed and prayed that this would help give her the peace she so longed for.
See you soon.
On most holidays, her friends would invite her into their home, but this date was one that no one but a lover could satiate: Valentine’s Day. The last of which she had spent lying in a bath of cold water with an emptied bottle of wine on the floor beside her. This year, however, was much more reasonable. After washing her hands to rid of any possible contamination, she reached into the top drawer of her dresser and pulled out his sergeant’s uniform. As if contact with her skin would make it disintegrate, she gingerly placed it on the bed and sat crossed-legged, simply staring at it. After a long, contemplated moment, she gently dragged her fingers down the tan brown lapel. This wasn’t the first time she’d spend Valentine’s Day with this particular set of clothes.
“Pretty Peach, are you ready yet? I’m missin’ you out here” a deep male voice called from the other side of the door.
Mabel frantically continued to pin up her hair. “Hold on, Buck! Besides, I already told you to come in, it’s not as if you haven’t seen me like this before,” she teased, referring to the fact that she wore only her undergarments.
“And I already told you that tonight is going to be special and I’m not going to spoil it by being too antsy.”
“But I’m antsy!”
“Well then you’d better hurry up.”
After what felt like a thousand years for her, Mabel finally smacked her lipstick and flung open the door to see her boyfriend lighting a cigarette and leaning up against her balcony wall in perhaps the most attractive look she’d ever seen him in. He wore his military dress uniform and his cap was cocked just ever so slightly to the side, helping him retain his flirty, boyish air despite the tremendous responsibility the outfit inferred.
Upon looking back up to his eyes, she noticed he’d been giving her the same seduced scrutiny. “Happy Valentine’s, solider,” Mabel purred.
“Happy Valentine's, doll.”
February 14th, 1943. That was the night he proposed to her. It was magic; an absolute dream. Bucky Barnes had been her crush for quite some time. They’d first met in 1935 in an art class his best friend Steve had dragged him to attend. Little had she known he’d taken just as strong a fancy to her as she him. She never thought he’d choose her, though, as all the other girls in the class clamored for his attention. It took a particularly nerve-wracking assignment for them to realize they had shared affections. The task was to draw a portrait of a fellow classmate and they had undeniably chosen one another.
“Would anyone like to share their work” the teacher asked hopefully. “Who knows, perhaps you’ll make a new friend of whomever you’ve drawn!”
The classroom remained silent until a girl named Jill peeked over at Mabel’s work and gasped. “Oh, you simply must show yours!” Although she whispered, the entire room could hear and Mabel cringed.
“We would love that Ms. Jones! Whom did you draw?” the art teacher smiled kindly.
Tucking a smoothed curl behind her ear, Mabel answered, trying to sound as confident as she could, “Well, I chose…uh, James…since he is right across from me.”
“May we see?”
Choking on her heartbeat, she lifted up her sketch pad and turned it around to face the class who collectively murmured in praise. Her eyes stared right at her muse, however, whose mouth fell agape before curling into an amazed grin. Mabel bit back her smile. She always loved how he didn’t smirk like most boys she knew. Whenever he smiled, both edges of his lips would turn up like an excited child. She felt like such a creep noticing things like that, but she simply couldn’t keep her eyes off of him.
“Amazing work indeed, Ms. Jones! I wonder if we might see James’, then? Who was your model?”
He was quick to answer, not looking away from her. “I drew Mabel,” his expression was bemused when he crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat as Steve chuckled. “But I can’t show it.”
“And why is that?”
“Well, Mrs. Hobbs, it doesn’t do her justice.”
At this, the teacher smiled knowingly and said, “I told you we’d make friends today.”
While her life was never going to be the same and she was unsure how to truly move on, she’d prepared for this day. Tucked in her dress just above her heart was a thin sheet of paper spritzed in her perfume. Knowing it would never truly be read by him, writing a response to his last letter seemed like the goodbye she was never able to give. It had taken her several tries to get it right, but eventually she was able to sign her name and seal it with a kiss of red lipstick, his favorite on her, and slide it into a tiny envelope. She’d tried to write long, detailed letters for her first few tries but she ended up leaving it short and sweet:
To my Bucky,
I heard that train ride was a bit rough. I hope you’re somewhere safe now. It’s quite hard here without you, but I’ll always know you’ve left for something you believed in and I couldn’t be more proud or any more in love with you for it. Steve was lucky to have you by his side out there. You’ve probably seen him since, wherever you are, but he’s gone, too. He got the Squids in the end, but they were never able to find him...he had to put Schmidt’s plane into the water. I’m awful proud of you both, actually. Perhaps I’m the lucky one.
As for your question, I think light blue would be perfect for the wedding; it would match your eyes just as well... I did pick out my gown and I can’t wait for you to see it.
See you soon.
Xoxo Mabel
Tucking it in the breast pocket of his jacket, she sighed and prayed that this would help give her the peace she so longed for.
See you soon.