Miles Away

Not long after John got back from school, he met up with Kennedy to smoke and talk about the worries taking up every corner of his mind. He was almost forcing himself not to call his dearest friend Trotter in reference to his old last name, and he told himself he could hold back. He wanted to respect the other boy’s wishes, especially considering the situations Kennedy had been in, recently more than ever.

As far as John knew, Kennedy’s family life wasn’t the best. It wasn’t the standard nuclear family that’s talked about at school in every class and shown on television. If anything, it was starting to show what it was recently — a train wreck – it was going south fast.

Secretly, John hoped to get everything in Kennedy’s mind out into the open. Worries, problems, everything. He was worried and loved Kennedy enough to want these things not to be bottled up, but it wasn’t in a romantic way, of course. Pat already had that covered.

The two sat on a blanket in the desert. They hadn’t gone far, just to a deserted parking lot they and their group of friends had claimed as their own. John’s eyes were on the numbers, 8123, on the warehouse across the building, while Kennedy sat across from him and rolled a joint for the two of them.

John only turns his attention back to what’s going on when he smells the drugs around him, and then is the victim of a cloud of smoke. He coughs for a second, turning his head. “Oh, dude, don’t do that,” He chuckles, shaking his head.

There’s another goofy smile on Kennedy’s face, and he says nothing as he looks from John to the sky, to the beautiful twinkling stars above them. It’s clear he has a lot on his mind, and he was already zoning out thinking about all of it.

“So, Alex,” John stars, easing into talking about their issues, “It’s a really dumb thing to be hung up on, but he hasn’t… he hasn’t messaged me back, you know? Something is wrong. He usually says good morning when it’s still about three here.”

There’s a pout on his face, and he reaches out to grab the joint from between his friend’s fingers. He takes a drag, and when he blows the smoke out he tilts his head back. When the smoke clears, there are the stars. Shining bright above them in the clear Arizona sky.

He can see the reason for Kennedy’s distraction and fascination before.

“Are you sure he’s not just busy? Stress does some pretty awful shit to people sometimes,” Kennedy points out.

”Yeah, I’m pretty sure. With the amount he talks to me in a day, I’m pretty sure he would’a said something. “Hey, I’m going to be busy!” or something.”

“That’s fair. I never would’a thought you’d fall for a blabbermouth, John Ohh,” Kennedy teased, elbowing John’s arm lightly.

Fall for him?

That comment catches John off guard. He didn’t think of it exactly as falling for someone yet – yet ? – but as a little crush on somebody thousands of miles away from him.

“I…. I’m not sure if you could call it that—“

“John, seriously? You won’t stop talking about him. You followed him on Twitter. I may have some shit going on right now that makes it hard to pay attention, but even I can tell you’re falling for him.”

There’s this voice in the back of John’s mind that’s telling him Kennedy is right. Completely right. He doesn’t want to listen to the voice, though, and ignores it. Instead, he moves on to the other’s problems, the main reason for this meeting.

“Wait, what is going on with you right now?” John quirked his head as he asked, decisively changing the subject. He doesn’t even object when Kennedy grabs the joint out of his hand and starts taking his toll on it, breathing out slowly before he talks.

“I… Well, y’know that my family is fucked up. Big time. I mean... I changed my name’s for fuck’s sake,” He takes a break, and it’s as if he’s hesitating to continue, but he does, “My mom’s even marrying another guy, and…. My dad just won’t leave us alone. I keep gettin’ shit from him about how I should live with him and how I betrayed him for changing my name, and….”

Kennedy sighs, looking down at the blanket under them. He begins to toy with the fraying fabric he continues, “It just keeps getting to me. I’m honestly scared he might do something to my mom at some point, even though she says she’s got it covered…”

It’s a lot for John to take in, but he knew it would be. It was a topic that they had briefly talked about before, almost monthly, considering what had gone on. It wasn’t exactly like that asshole of a dad was suddenly rough around the edges. Instead, Kennedy had grown up dealing with him, fighting with him and withstanding abuse from him for years. John couldn’t even count the times on one hand anymore where the younger boy had shown up at his house with a black eye or some kind of bruise on his face. There had even been a time where bruises on his torso were exposed.

It was John’s turn to sigh, but it wasn’t because he was disappointed in Kennedy or anything like that. He was disappointed in his father. In life for bringing this hellfire onto his beloved friend.

“If it ever gets to be too much, you know you can come stay at my place. My mama loves you a lot. Pretty sure she’d let you live there if she could,” He sends a reassuring smile to Kennedy as he speaks.

“Honestly, I don’t doubt that. Your mom always tries to get me to eat shit when I come over. Seriously, last time she offered to make me an entire meal when I was just coming over to drop off some equipment that you left at Pat’s the other day.”

“I’m guessing Tim threatened to stop being our manager or whatever if you didn’t bring it over, huh?”

“Bingo.”

There’s another pause, and a smile tugging at the corner of Kennedy’s mouth. He looks from the joint, the one that’s now burning out, and then to John. If he looks hard enough, he can see the tears threatening to spill, one even escaping.

Kennedy puts out their little escape, and then wipes his eyes. “But I really appreciate your mom. I don’t think I would be here if she… if she didn’t do everything that she did. Like the time she lent me clothes, or when she made me lunch on the first day of school Sophomore year…”

He trails off, and his words are followed by a broken sob. It breaks John’s heart, shatters it into a million pieces, but he doesn’t have time to speak before Kennedy does once more.

“I think you should give Alex some time, okay? You… you never know what’s going on with somebody.”

That concluded the conversation, and John nods. He agrees, but his heart suddenly aches. For Alex, for himself, but mostly for Kennedy Brock, who was always wise despite how stupid he acted.

The ride home is silent, but the silence says enough, and the sad smiles say more than any words could.