10 Reasons Why the Internet Is No Longer Allowed at Hogwarts

Reason # 8

“Professor Snape, sir.”

Severus looked up from marking essays to find Filch standing in the doorway of his classroom carrying a stack of magazines. Muggle magazines by the looks of them.

“What is it, Filch?” He asked disinterestedly as he went back to his marking.

“It's about the Weasley twins, Professor.” Filch approached his desk.

Now, he was seriously confused. The Weasley twins had left Hogwarts the previous year...thank Merlin.

“The brothers Weasley no longer attend this school, Filch. They are of no concern to me.”

Was the caretaker going senile on top of crazy?

“I know that Professor, but they've started up an online ordering service...for muggle pornography.”

Severus dropped his quill. “Excuse me?”

Filch dropped the magazines on his desk and Severus recognized a few titles from his youth – Playboy, Playpen, Hustler.

“Muggleborns are using the school computers to order subscriptions and are having the magazines shipped to Fred and George Weasley who are than owling them to the students. I took these off of Mr. Finch-Fletchley.”

They should have known that when they put those anti-pornography charms on the computers the randy little dunderheads would find some way around them.

As Severus stood from his desk to go and pay a visit to Fred and George, he was convinced that he was going to be tormented by Weasleys until the day he died.
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