Temporary Fix

The Aftermath of the Pool Party Incident had left me in a pissed off and grumpy state, more so than usual. I felt like everyone around me was doing things simply to piss me off -- my parents who didn’t know when to stop asking if I was okay, my barista for forgetting to add another sugar packet to my drink, and even the guy at the gas station who only wanted to know how my day was going. As time wore on, I wondered who I was really angry at. Surely Harry, for one, but there was nothing surprising about that. Then also at myself for giving into him and my stupid dream. The irresponsible dream that had created a concept in my head that I couldn’t shake off until it actually happened.

Despite all of this taking up my thoughts, I tried to focus on work. Keeping busy would help distract me, but even that was going to shit. Every customer was getting on my nerves, whether it was because they left books lying around where they weren’t supposed to be or they asked stupid questions when the answer was right there in front of them. Usually this sort of thing didn’t get to me, but the sales section is the table beside you, Karen, just turn around and read the label. I tried not to snap at anyone, though, I really did. It wasn’t their fault that I had sex with Harry. It was mine and I couldn’t tell if I was regretting it or not.

After my shift dragged on for what felt like days, it was finally coming to an end and I was making the final transaction of the night. When I finished, I gave the customer her receipt. She took it in her hand, studying it for a moment before frowning.

I had already started walking away from the register when she stopped me. “Excuse me,” she said. I looked back at her, eyebrows raised, wondering what she could possibly want now. I’d already helped her pick out every single book in her bag. “You charged me twice for all these books.”

Oh crap -- that was on me. The customer handed me the receipt back, her brows pinched. She was clearly upset and honestly, I didn’t blame her. “I’m so sorry,” I apologized. “I think I pressed something incorrect when ringing these up. I’ll fix that for you.”

“Actually,” Zayn interrupted, walking over and around the counter. “I’ll do it. Mara, can you go fix those displaced books, please?”

Zayn offered me a short smile before turning to the customer. This wouldn’t be my first mistake of the day and Zayn had definitely noticed. Even though he was my friend, he was still technically my boss, too. There were only so many times he could let things slide. I did as he asked me and fixed up the books before going over to the door to lock it for the night. The customer had long left and didn’t respond when I told her to have a good night. It made me feel even crummier and even more on edge, like I was two seconds away from snapping at everyone in sight.

“You alright?” Zayn asked me, looking over from the counter.

I gave him a shrug, slumping against one of the turquoise walls. “Been a long day. Not really on my A-game. Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Zayn said. “Do you want to talk?”

I shook my head. “Not really, no.”

“Then why don’t you head on home? I’ll take care of everything here and see you tomorrow. Just get some rest and regroup, ok?”

“Thanks, Z,” I mumbled before grabbing my things and walking out.

On the walk home, I took the longer, more scenic route, catching glimpses of sandy beaches and a pretty, orange sunset. I hoped it would help me loosen up, but Harry was still nagging at the back of my brain like an annoying mosquito. I couldn’t believe I had sex with him. The same Harry who ripped off my Barbie doll’s head on my front lawn while I went to get lemonade from inside. I cried for days because of that. He was always such a menace. He had been driving me nuts since I was a kid and I couldn’t say much has changed regarding that.

Back then it was little things, like Barbies and spitballs and exposing me in front of juvenile, high school crushes. Now, it was because he seduced me at a pool party to the point where I had sex with him. Not that I’m saying he took advantage of me. I was a completely willing participant who only consumed a little amount of alcohol. I had no one to blame and that made it harder. I couldn’t make sense of it all. It was like I had stepped out of my body and done something out of character. In that moment in the bedroom, I felt like I had to have sex with him otherwise the itch that had been bugging me for days would have never gone away. It had to be him.

Memories of the night flashed through my mind again and I suddenly felt a little coiling in the lower region of my stomach. Instantly, I was angry that I was aroused thinking about having sex with Harry. Why did my body have to betray me and find him so attractive? The itch was starting up again and I felt like I was going to throw up.

All dramatics aside, I made it home, only to have fate play games with me. There on his lawn, wearing a pair of black shorts and nothing else, was Harry. He was gardening, all of his tools surrounding him, while he patted down on manure in front of him. As I approached my house, he glanced up, squinting under the sun as he spotted me and a bright smile forming on his face.

“Horton,” he quipped. “Haven’t seen you in a minute.”

I grunted in response, eyes trailing down Harry’s tanned and tattooed torso. He had dirt all over his chest and abs. My mouth started to dry out and the fact that I was turned on, seeing Harry fucking Styles gardening, was so aggravating. I felt like killing him for evoking this sort of reaction out of me, but more than that, I felt like having sex with him again. I wanted him to take me right then and there right over all that manure.

“I’ve been busy,” I told him. “Not that it’s any of your concern. We’re not even friends.”

Harry made a noise as to disagree. “I think we’re a little more than friends, don’t you think? I mean, we -- you know -- we did...the do.”

He had an ugly (okay, it was really hot) smirk on his face that I wanted to slap off. “Don’t mock me. And I’m well aware of what we did. But that doesn’t make us friends, or more, for that matter..”

“It doesn’t?” Harry raised his brows.

“No.”

“Then what does it make us, Horton, because I’m at a loss.”

“I know it makes you more annoying than usual and that’s saying something.”

Harry let a small laugh escape his lips as his hands lazily scratched across his stomach. It looked like a mosquito bit him there and a small, red bruise was forming. When my eyes eventually tailed up to meet Harry’s, I knew I’d been caught. He knew I was checking him out and he was loving it. He quirked his eyebrows at me again, offering me a smug grin. “Is there anything on your mind that you’d want to share?”

“No,” I glared.

“If you say so,” Harry shrugged, starting to stretch and lifting his arms above his head. His muscles bulged and his shorts slid down slightly, a trail of hair going down the middle. It was enough.

I reached over, grabbing Harry by the hand and pulling him toward my front door. As I unlocked the door, Harry didn’t say one word, and it hit me that he probably knew why I was taking him inside. Well, as cocky as that was, it was fine because I didn’t feel like explaining why I needed to fuck him again. Thankfully, the house was empty and I was able to easily bring Harry downstairs where I pushed him down on the futon bed. He was dirty and I’d have to clean the sheets after but none of that mattered as I jumped on top of him, legs on either side of his body.

Harry’s eyes were wide as he looked back at me. His hands slowly came up to rest on my hips and I suddenly realized how hard I was breathing. My heart felt like it was thudding deeply in my chest. and Harry’s lips were just so pink. It was infuriating how cute Harry was. How much I wanted to kiss him and have him inside of me. But I also hated him -- despised him more than I’d ever despised anyone before.

“Are we going to do it again?” he asked, licking his lips.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “No, Harry. We’re just here to chat over tea and cookies.”

Harry grinned. “Has anyone ever told you how hot you look when you roll your eyes?”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes again. “Has anyone ever told you that you need to shut up?” I asked him, instead. Before he could respond with something annoying, I leaned down and pressed my lips against his in a harsh kiss. His words drowned out and our clothes slowly came off, falling all over my basement floor. 



It became a thing after that.

A thing that I wasn’t really proud of, but was shameless enough to keep doing. Everybody knew that sex was healthy. It was a natural part of life and it was good for me because it helped me forget my less than ideal life, albeit momentarily. I hadn’t had regular sex like this since Liam and even then, during our Bad Time, we’d do it once every few days. With Harry, we were going at it like rabbits. At least three to four times a week, sometimes multiple times a day if our schedules allowed it.

He wasn’t half bad, really. In fact, as much as it pained me to say, he was actually quite good at using his mouth and hands other bits of his body. Not that I ever told him this, of course. I would rather saw off my foot than compliment Harry, namely on his sex skills; his head and ego were already so big. But a part of me felt like he knew given how I couldn’t really keep quiet when we were in the middle of one of our trysts.

That was another thing. We weren’t telling anyone what we were doing. Zayn and Niall were both in the dark, still under the impression that Harry and I were enemies, which we were. Enemies, but now with added benefits. Harry was being used as a distraction. Something to take my mind off my own problems otherwise I’d go mad. As for Harry, he was in it just to get off and I did a good job in helping him with that.

What was strange was that I’d once thought we weren’t each other’s types. But nowadays, it felt like all we really needed was each other. 



Dad knocked on the wall beside the staircase that led down to the basement. I glanced up from my phone where I was refreshing Instagram for the third time in the last hour. “You have some visitors,” Dad informed me.

I frowned, not wanting to get up from my nest of blankets and sheets. “I didn’t invite anyone over. Who is it?”

“See for yourself,” Dad responded, looking a bit too coy for my liking. I reluctantly got out of bed and made my way upstairs, adjusting my shorts and t-shirt. Maybe it was Harry, but it was unlike him to show up unannounced. We’d exchanged phone numbers and usually hit each other up before we wanted to hook up to see if the other was free. But Harry didn’t text me, probably because he had a shift at the cupcake shop.

When I got upstairs, the first thing I saw was the back of Ava’s long, pin straight blond hair. She was talking to my mom while Louis stood beside her, politely smiling. I physically took a step back.

They were the last people I’d have expected to just show up at my house after everything that had happened. Mostly because Ava wasn’t the type to make the first move. She let people fester with their feelings and work it out themselves before approaching her. As I said, it wasn’t my favorite thing about her. Ava was always so cool, calm, and collected about everything. It was like nothing bothered her. Maybe I was a bit jealous of that; I freaked out about the smallest things and nitpicked situations until they became something entirely different in my head. But not Ava.

For her to show up and make the first move, I didn’t really know what to expect.

It was Louis who spotted me first. He smiled brightly, walking over and pulling me into a hug. I hugged him back, meeting Ava’s eyes over his shoulders. She hugged me as soon as Louis set me free and held onto me for what felt like forever. Mom slipped out of the room to give us privacy, following Dad out to our backyard where he was propping open the grill for dinner.

When Ava let go, I couldn’t help but get right to the point. “What are you doing here?” I asked. It didn’t feel appropriate to have small talk after our big fight. I didn’t want to brush it under the rug and forget it happened.

“We’re here to see you,” she said, as if it was obvious. “How long were you planning on dodging my calls and texts, Mar?”

“Until you got the hint,” I responded, my voice coming out a little colder than necessary after that warm hug. It made Ava startle a bit, probably realizing that I was still pissed. Louis, sensing the shift in mood, stepped back and sat down on the couch in the living room, pulling his phone out. After knowing us for this long, he knew when to just let us be and hash out our problems. This wasn’t the first time Ava and I fought, but this was definitely the longest. We’d always lived together, so we couldn’t drag them out for too long since we were always seeing each other.

Ava bit her round bottom lip nervously, while looking at me with her big, blue eyes. “I know I said some awful things to you --”

“They were fucked up, Ava. I was in such a bad place and you kicked me while I was already down.”

“I’m sorry!” she said. “I realize I messed up. I should have been more compassionate and understanding. I really don’t have any excuse. I’m so sorry, Mara”

I pursed my lips, feeling my walls slowly come down. An apology was an apology, after all. “You really hurt me,” I said to her, voice shaking. “Everything was already going to shit and I didn’t need to lose you as well.”

“You haven’t lost me. I’m still here. I’ll always be here,” she said, leaning forward to hug me again. “And honestly, I want you to move back in with me. I sublet your room while you’ve been gone and this girl is a pig, Mar.”

“What?” I asked, pulling away from the hug. “You sublet my room?”

“Well, yeah,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I couldn’t pay rent all on my own and you weren’t even willing to talk to me, so I wasn’t really sure what to do.”

It made sense logically, but for some selfish reason, I was irritated. That was my bedroom -- my apartment. But I held my tongue and nodded in response to her words before looking over at Louis. He must have driven Ava over since he was the only one out of us who had a car. It must have been a long ride considering they’d arrived just after rush hour. LA traffic was ghastly when it wanted to be.

“So, you guys staying for dinner?” I asked.

“We’re staying for the weekend actually,” Ava grinned, flashing her perfect white teeth. “Your mom told us we should and I’m down for it. I missed you and I want to see what you’ve been up to.”

I allowed myself to smile a bit. Ava was really trying and it wouldn’t be so bad showing her around where I grew up. I could introduce her to Zayn, Niall, and possibly Harry. I just wasn’t sure how much I was willing to share with her. Despite being here for only a few weeks, I was already starting to feel distant from who I was when I lived in LA. 



When I mentioned to Zayn that Ava and Louis were in town and wanted to see Laguna Beach, he said they had great timing. It turned out that a new bar had opened and it was right beside the beach. Zayn, Harry, and Niall were planning to go that weekend anyway, so Zayn went ahead and invited Ava and Louis when they came to visit us toward the end of our shift at the bookstore.

I was thankful that Zayn made the plans because I’d shown the two around everywhere I could think of the first day they were here. I took them to my old schools, the places I used to hang out, and some of my favorite iced coffee spots. The bar scene was the only thing I wasn’t entirely familiar with, and it was a given that Ava and Louis would want to see the nightlife out here. It was obviously not like LA, rather a bit more chilled out.

The new bar was called Lone Palm. It had the regular bar/pub amenities, but it looked and felt like a club. For one, there was EDM music playing on the speakers and there was an outdoor section both in the front and out back. In the front, they placed some chairs and tables with minimalist plants, while out back there was a pool. People had came in their bikinis straight from the beach to dip into the pool with a drink in hand.

“This is so nice,” Ava exclaimed, sipping her pink concoction of a drink. “I love it here. I think this is, like, my favorite bar I’ve ever been to.”

“It’s only your first visit,” I pointed out. “Might hate it by the end of the night.” I was nursing my own PBR, feeling tired from my shift earlier. Zayn and Louis were hanging out in the booth we’d secured, hands animated as they discussed video games that they both played. Further back, Harry and Niall were playing a game of darts together and it looked like Harry was losing, which was no surprise.

Ava shook her head in disagreement. “No, I really like it. It’s got a cool, small town vibe to it, but it’s also hip and modern. We don’t have bars like this where I grew up.”

“Right. I keep forgetting you grew up in the Midwest.”

“The worst,” Ava shuddered, swaying along to the Chainsmokers song that was playing.

I took another sip of my drink, my eyes darting over to Harry again. The pair of tight, black jeans and red flannel on top made him look good tonight. There was also a big hat on his head that seemed like it belonged more on a farm rather than in a trendy bar in Laguna Beach. Regardless, Harry made it work. I had no idea how, but I’d stopped trying to figure out how Harry was the way he was. He and Niall moved away from the dartboard and headed over to the bar where Niall called for some shots. Harry stood beside him and then his eyes trailed over to me.

We locked gazes for a moment and he raised his eyebrows at me in question. I shrugged at him and he started to smile, gesturing his head over to the bathrooms, asking if I wanted to go join him. I rolled my eyes, but there was a smile on my face that I couldn’t seem to shake. Harry was stupid and I couldn’t begin to remember when he went from giving me migraines to making me smile (and cum).

“I know you have work tomorrow, but I’ll come join you,” Ava said, bringing my attention back to her. “We’ll be leaving tomorrow night and who knows when I’ll see you again.”

It hadn’t really hit me until she said it, but Ava was right. I really didn’t know when I’d be seeing her again, or Louis. The thought stung because they were my best friends. My people, who I, at one point, used to see everyday. Sure I could drive over, but with how busy I’d become, I wasn’t sure how that would be plausible. There was so much left to figure out for my future, too,  and every time I remembered that, I just froze up. Ava being here was good in the sense that we got to catch up, but it was also bad because it reminded me of a life that used to be mine. A life that I tried to distract myself from because I was busy trying to be in the “now”. I was trying to fit in in Laguna and start a life here again, no matter how much I didn’t initially want to.

“Sounds good,” I responded quietly. Ava smiled brightly, unaware of how I was feeling, before making her way over to Zayn and Louis.

I was only alone for a second before Harry sidled over. “What’s got you pouting?” he asked, nudging my arm with his hand.

“I’m not pouting,” I argued, giving him a frown.

“Come off it, Horton. I know when you’re upset. Tell me what’s going on?” Harry looked at me inquisitively. “I know that what we have is strictly casual, but you can talk to me, too. I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.”

“By who?”

“Literally everyone,” Harry replied. “How about I get you another drink and we can step outside?”

Surprisingly, I found myself agreeing to it. Harry took my empty can and brought back another drink. We maneuvered our way through the crowd to a table outside that was in the far corner, giving us a semblance of privacy on a crowded Saturday night. He didn’t ask me to talk to him this time, but rather I just came right out and told him everything that had been on mind since Ava and Louis showed up.

“I’m bitter,” I confessed. “I’m so bitter and angry at everyone. I’m also sad because I miss LA and my life there. I miss Ava, I do, but I’m still kind of mad at her. She was so mean to me before I left and she just replaced me with no problem at all. She got a new roommate who’s subletting my room. That’s my room, not hers. And this girl probably has a job that she’s secure in and what do I have? I’m living in my parents basement while working retail, a job that I’m, frankly, not even good at.”

“Are there still termites in your room?” Harry asked.

“No,” I shook my head. “They’re gone, but I haven’t found the time or energy to move upstairs. I actually kind of like it downstairs where I have my privacy. It feels like I’m on my own, you know? Like my own little apartment.”

“I get it. But you know, that girl that’s subletting your room isn’t meant to replace you. Financially, yes, but not literally.”

“I know that. I mean, Ava’s a good friend and she’s apologized, but I still feel weird. I never expected them to come and I didn’t expect them to stay this long either. They get to go back home tomorrow and I’m still here. I hate that. I hate being stuck here and not moving forward.”

“But you are,” Harry said, now frowning himself. “You might hate retail and think you suck at it, but Zayn really likes you, so I’m sure you’re not that bad. You’ve also reconnected with your parents and you’re settling in Laguna. You’re finding your footing again and that’s progress, in my opinion. You’re not stuck.”

“I don’t want to settle in Laguna, though. I want to be in LA. It’s why I moved out in the first place. Who wants to stay back in their hometown all their life?”

Harry stayed silent and I realized it was because he did -- he wanted to stay back in his hometown all his life. I was only talking from my own personal outlook, not for him and his decision to stay. I didn’t look down on him for that anymore. It felt weird to clarify, though, so we let the conversation die out until the others found us, loud voices and laughs taking over the otherwise awkward silence. 



It was nearing the fourth hour of us being at the bar. I’d consumed approximately five PBRs and I was drunk enough to let a guy talk me up in a corner while my friends all danced to a Rihanna song on the dance floor. The guy had stopped me as I was on my way out of the bathroom, striking up conversation regarding the Sex Pistols t-shirt I was wearing. Turned out he was a big fan and I really only bought the shirt from Forever 21 because it was cute and on sale.

But my lack of knowledge of the music wasn’t enough to deter him. He continued to chat me up about mundane things like school and work, and I tried to count the reasons why I shouldn’t just bluntly walk away from him, no explanations given.

“So are you visiting Laguna or do you live here?” he asked me.

“In between,” I replied.

“Oh, I see. How long do you plan on sticking around?”

I shrugged.

“I was asking because there is a rock concert happening in a few days. We could go, if you’re up for it?” He looked hopeful, gray eyes blinking down at me. He was cute, in a typical Laguna way. Shaggy blonde hair, sun kissed skin, and built. I wondered why I didn’t know him, but realized that didn’t matter. This was the first time I’d been asked out since Liam and I ended. I hadn’t really gone out to bars but I didn’t let guys think I was available, either.

It stumped me in regards to what I should say because it wasn’t entirely ridiculous that he asked me out. We had been talking for a good twenty minutes at this point and he made it abundantly clear he liked me given how many times and different ways he called me pretty. It could be nice just to get my mind off of Liam. He’d moved on and maybe I should, too.

But something stopped me from saying yes, something I couldn’t believe I was admitting. I didn’t want to settle and go out with some guy for the heck of it. This guy was boring, and frankly, I couldn’t even remember his name. This didn’t mean I wasn’t moving on, this meant I was settling. After all, I was having some pretty great sex with someone who, despite being a pain in the ass, was pretty fun.

Smiling politely, I shook my head. “Sorry, I can’t. But it was nice talking to you.” I gave him a two fingered wave before heading straight for Harry. Niall had stolen the hat off his head and Harry’s long hair was flowing as he moved to the beat. He wasn’t a good dancer by a long shot. However, his attempts were funny and even kind of cute. I tapped him on the shoulder before he turned around to look at me.

“Horton!” he cheered drunkenly. “Come dance.”

“Actually, I kind of want to get out of here,” I shouted to him over the music. “Want to come with me?”

Harry seemed surprised, if only for a moment, and then he grinned at me, nodding his head. I reached out for his hand and we stumbled out of the stupid, fucking bar, out into the humid night. Harry quickly pulled his phone out with his other hand to request a Lyft and I realized it was because I was still holding on to his hand. Our fingers had somehow entwined and I liked how it felt. I leaned into him, letting my head rest on his shoulder. The Lyft app showed that a car was about three minutes away.

“Where are we going?” I asked him.

“Does it matter?” Harry countered back.

I found myself smiling. “Not really. Just want to have fun.”

“For sure thought you were going to leave with that guy you were talking to.” His eyes were still trained on his phone, but there was a quirk to his lip indicating his smug smile. He knew very well I wasn’t going to leave with anyone else tonight.

I scoffed. “He was boring. Can’t be bothered.”

Harry didn't say anything, though there was a pleased smile on his face. When the Lyft arrived, we both ambled into the backseat. Clearly, Harry had been holding himself back outside of the bar. As soon as the car doors closed and the driver pulled out onto the road, he was leaning over me, kissing me against my seat. I grabbed onto his face, letting one of my hands drift to the back of his head where my fingers tangled with his curls. He probably didn’t want our friends to see, but I didn’t mind. I kind of liked having my own little secret with him.

Maybe Harry Styles wasn’t so bad.