Back Into Your Arms

I looked at John as he listened to the music they had been working on for the album. He was bobbing his head, trying to make up melodies.

I still had not been given the privilege to listen to the songs, he strictly wore his headphones and whenever he was to play a song out loud I was practically kicked out of his room.
He sighed frustrated as he slumped on his chair and removed his earphones.

“You’re struggling, maybe it’s because of me, I should go” I said to him as I was about to stand up and walk out but he stopped me.

“Don’t go”

“I’m serious John I think I’m ruining your vibe”

“You are the vibe” he laughed, but the laugh didn’t last long, his face returned to that stressed out face he had been sporting for a good week.

“C’mon, let’s go out for some fresh air, I think you need a day off, you’ve been trying to write lyrics all week long”

“And what exactly are we going to do? It’s 100 degrees outside”

The man had a point, but he really needed to step out of his room, he needed to clear his mind.

“Let’s go to your parents’ house, your mom told me we were welcomed to use the pool whenever”

“Mel”

“I’m serious, trust me on this one”

He let out the heaviest sigh of all time, but agreed to go with me.
I quickly texted his mom letting her know we wanted to stop by to use the pool and she gave me the okay. John got ready and we went to my apartment for me to change.

We drove to his parents’ home in silence, because he didn’t want to listen to music. This was very unlike John, but the stress of completing the album was overwhelming him to the point he desired silence.

His parents weren’t home when we got there, John had a key to the house so we went inside. On the fridge, there was a note from his mom.

“Went to go buy some snacks and some meat for the BBQ” he read it out loud.

“C’mon let’s go outside” I said tugging at his arm. John quickly took off his shirt and went into the pool. I on the other hand hesitated, in all honesty I had never learned how to properly swim, and after a time I almost drowned in a pool, I was anxious to ever try again. I put my feet in and slowly went in but remained on the shallow end.

John swam to me, looking as attractive as ever.

“What’s wrong?” he asked me as he slicked his hair back.

“I freak out if I go any further than this” I said referring to the number behind my back. I was in the 5ft zone.

“You’re serious?”

I nodded.

“You were attempting to swim in the ocean, I saw you”

“My feet were always touching the ground”

“What happened, why are you afraid?” he asked me.

“You never heard this story?”

“Surprisingly, no, it never came up”

“I was maybe 9 years old? I almost drowned, but not because I didn’t know how to swim, but rather for a second I forgot how to float, I got scared, and the fear led to me panicking and sinking”

“You forgot how to float?”

“Yeah, I guess I realized I was on the deeper end, and it scared me, I mean I was only 9 years old, and not tall at all”

“I see…but then why did you suggest we go swimming if you don’t swim?”

I smiled as I looked at him, all soaked in water. I reached out and put my hand on his face.

“Because I know how much YOU love to swim”

He was silent for a moment, he looked conflicted. He wanted to smile, but at the same time his face was serious, determined, he began inching a bit closer to me, but his movements were still unsure. I started to get an idea of where this was heading. My nervousness spiking up. He leaned in a bit, but at that moment, his parents arrived.

“Great” is all I heard him whisper under his breath.

“Melody, we brought some wine coolers, do you want one?” his mother asked me.

“Sure” I replied nonchalantly. John right away frowned and looked at me concerned.

“I can handle it, don’t worry, they have very little alcohol”

“I thought you didn’t risk it at all”

“I try not to, but goodness John your stress is passing onto me, I need it today” I said to him as I made my way to the stairs of the pool, feeling my weight pulling me down.

His mom handed it over to me and she handed a beer over to John.

“We’re making burgers, we’ll let you know when they are ready” she said to us and made her way back inside.

I took a sip of my wine cooler as he took a sip of his beer.
I hadn’t had a wine cooler in years but with the stress and the heat I couldn’t help but crave one.

Before we knew it, we were both relaxed and getting giggly. He was splashing me with water, so I started to do the same to him.

“Do you trust me if I bring you over to the deeper end?”

“You’ll save me?”

“I’ll lead you back to the shallow end if you feel uncomfortable and scared”

I think it was the alcohol but I didn’t really feel scared anymore. So, I agreed.

“Fine”

He nodded as we made our way to the deeper end, he allowed me to hold onto the edge.

“I want to let go and just float”

“Then do it, don’t overthink it”

I nodded as I let go of the edge and proceeded to float on my back. My ears getting covered by the water. He did the same, right next to me. We were just floating, looking up at the sky. It was almost as if we were weightless.

Everything was fine, until that lingering fear crept in. It was the anxiety. I started to panic but John right away reacted.

“Hey, hey it’s okay” he said to me as I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck and he helped me get to the edge of the pool. My heart was racing, I was so disappointed in myself. A fear I had been carrying for almost 20 years was far from gone.

“I don’t know why I got so scared, I was enjoying it so much” I whispered to him, not letting go.

“It’s happened to all of us, relax, c’mon, I’ll take you back to the shallow end”

And he did, it was then that I was finally able to let go of him completely.

“Do you want to get out? Should we head inside?”

“I want to watch you swim”

He looked at me confused.

“I’m not Michael Phelps, there’s nothing to see”

“Please, c’mon” I begged.

“I mean, if that’s what you want to do”

“I want to watch my man swim, is that so wrong?” I laughed as I got out of the pool and took a seat on one of the pool side chairs his parents had.

I watched him swim back and forth, he would sometimes disappear under the water for a minute. I knew the swimming would help him clear his mind.

After we both got out of the pool, our moods had completely changed. He was relaxed, his shoulders weren’t as tense anymore and better yet he was smiling again. I was so relieved to see him stress free again.

“I’m going to go shower; you guys go ahead and start eating” I said to his parents as I made my way upstairs to the bathroom.

John was showering in the bathroom downstairs. I quickly showered and changed, I was about to head downstairs but John’s old bedroom called my attention. As I made my way inside, everything felt so familiar. I had been in that room before, my body was sure of it. The smell, the lighting, the only thing missing was the owner of the room.

“What are you looking at?”

I jumped back startled.

“Oh, my gosh you scared me”

“Peeking into rooms that aren’t yours is kind of your thing huh?” he laughed.

“Bad habit of mine, I confess”

“Well, c’mon in, feel free to look around” he said as he made his way inside the room. He closed the door behind him.

“Your room, still looks very much like it belongs to you, did you not take your things with you?”

“I did, but not all. I guess I just wanted something in my life to remain the same, I wanted to be able to walk into this room, like we just did, and feel as though time hasn’t passed”

“Baseball was really your thing, huh?” I said to him as I looked at his baseball card collection. There was a photo of him on the wall of back when he was on the baseball team too.

“Yes, it was. Heck, I think I liked it more than music”

“Wow”

“Yeah”

I took a seat on his bed.

“This is surely not my first time in your room”

“It’s not, but why do you say that?”

“Everything feels familiar to me, for some strange reason, I don’t know kind of like Deja vu”

“We did spend a lot of time here, so it shouldn’t surprise you”

“Doing what exactly?” I giggled as I laid down on the bed. I stared up at the ceiling. For a moment, I felt the world spinning. I closed my eyes and at that moment, I remembered something new.

“Ah so this is your room” I was asking him as I looked around.

“Yup” he replied shyly.

“It’s quite clean, that’s very suspicious”

“Suspicious?”

“Is your room always this clean?” I laughed as I looked inside his closet. Everything was perfectly organized.

“I mean, I try to keep it clean”

“Were you hoping I’d come up to your room John? Did you clean this room because you planned to get me up here?”

“Mel”

“I’m asking, be sincere with me”

“Yes, I was hoping you’d come up to my room, but no I didn’t plan to get you up here, it just happened”

“Ah, and what exactly did you hope we would do up here?”

“Goodness Mel, if you don’t want to be up here we can go downstairs”

“It’s not that, I just want to know your intentions, we have been friends since Freshman year and now that we are, well, dating, I want us to be on the same page”

“I didn’t bring you up to my room so that I can get you in bed if that’s what you’re thinking”

“Okay, well that’s a relief but then, why did you?”

“I think a room is really personal, it says a lot about a person, I wanted to share it with you”

He looked around his room.

“You see this is my collection of baseball cards” he signaled to me as he took out his photo album.

“I didn’t know you collected these”

“Yeah for the longest, oh and this is my guitar”

“I thought you only played the piano”

“I mean I don’t really consider myself a guitar player yet, I’ve been trying to learn, I don’t want to be a poser”

“What about this notebook here”

“That’s where I write my deepest thoughts”

I set it down right away.

“You’re more than welcome to read them”

“But they are your deepest thoughts”

“I want to share them with you, I want to let you into my mind, anything that is mine is yours. Now if you find that you hate my mind and want to run, you’re more than welcome to”

I took the notebook into my hands and flipped to a page. That’s where my memory faded.

“What’s wrong?” John asked me, I opened my eyes.

“Nothing, just got dizzy”

He made his way to the other side of the bed to lay down next to me.

“You really liked me when we were teens huh?”

“Is that even a question?”

I laughed.

“You let me look inside your journal of deepest thoughts, and I didn’t run away?”

He sat up startled.

“Wait, did you remember?”

“Just now, but I don’t remember what I read, this freaking brain of mine only enjoys teasing me with random incomplete memories”

“That was such an awkward day, I’m turning red just thinking about it” John laughed lying back down.

“But hey, I’m upset, you said that anything that was yours was mine too, did that deal end? Because you haven’t even let me hear one of your new songs”

“Deal is still on, just not when it comes to this record”

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

“Look, I’ll make you a deal, you’ll be the first person to hear the record when it’s complete, of course besides the guys and Colby, sounds good?”

“Deal” I said turning towards him and putting my hand out.
He did the same and we shook hands.

We just continued lying there, looking at each other.

“Oh, I just remembered, I wanted to ask you if you’d be my date to an engagement party”

“Whose engagement party?”

“Peter and Lizzie’s”

“I don’t know them though”

“I know, but c’mon, I’m always the single loner one at the parties, I actually have a beautiful girlfriend to take this time”

“Beautiful girlfriend?”

“The most beautiful woman in Arizona”

“John your mom is downstairs”

We both started cracking up. He got up from the bed and helped me get up.

“So, what do you say? Will you be my date?”

“I suppose I will, you’re going to have to go dress shopping with me though”

“I have no problem with that”

“It’s a date then, but hey your parents are probably waiting for us”

“You’re so right, c’mon let’s go”