Jealous

I sighed in frustration as the coffee maker took it's
time to get done. The grinding of the beans always took
a while and I wasn't having a particularly good day.

I wiped a strand of hair from my face and took the coffee
once it was done and put it on the tray for the waitress to take.
This wasn't what I had in mind when I'd decided to move to
Manhattan, New York but I had to pay the rent. I didn't want to think
about the fact that I'd been in the same coffee shop for ten years now
and told everyone it was temporary. But somehow, I couldn't
find a way out of the place.

I'd made some good friends in the time I'd been here so
I didn't feel I had to leave Manhattan for my social life. I did,
however, feel like I needed to leave this job but I just couldn't
find anything else I was good at. What made me feel like a complete
failure some days. Other days I was pretty content with how I'd made
it on my own when no one thought I would and I was pretty happy
about how that turned out.

"Two espresso's, right?"
Mandy asked as she lifted the tray.

"You bet, two 'I had to wait an age or two before the damn
coffeebeans were grinded' espresso's."
I said and Mandy chuckled.

"I still wonder if you'll ever break the damn thing and
just be done with it."
she said, as she started walking towards the right table.

"If I didn't need the damn money for rent, I would've done it two
years ago."
I mumbled to myself.

I got another order and so the day went on and on until noon
rolled around.
"I'm on my break, I'll be back in 30."
I announced as Shannon covered my position in the shop.

"See you in 30."
she said and started working immediatly because noon was always
a pretty busy time.

I walked to the back and took a seat in the alley behind the store,
grabbing my phone and scrolling through Facebook and eating at the same
time.

I was fifteen minutes into my break when the door to the shop
opened and Mandy's head appeared.
"Marge, someone is asking for you."

I frowned.
"Don't call me Marge. Who is it?"

"Well, Marge, I don't know. Some guy."
Mandy replied with a grin.

"Don't call me Marge, damn it. Tell him I'm not interested, would
you?"

"He says he knows you, though."
she said, a little unsure.

"Doesn't mean he does."
I sighed and stood up.
"Fine, I'll see who it is. Please stop calling me Marge."

"But how should I call you?"

"I don't know, maybe just Roxanne?"
I asked, referring to my real name.

"Marge is more fun, though."

"But it doesn't make sense."
I argued.

"Yes, it does."
Mandy said with a grin.

"Just because I had blue hair fifteen years ago.."
I mumbled.

"That's enough for me!"
she said and laughed as she went her way and I rolled
my eyes.

I looked to my left, where I saw someone leaning against the counter.
The man was standing with his back towards me so I couldn't
really see the one who was waiting for me.

I cleared my throat and walked up to the man.
"So, I hear you know me?"

The man turned around and smirked.
"I believe I do."

My eyes almost popped out of their sockets and my breath
had caught in my throat. I squeeled and ran towards the end of
the counter and jumped into the man's arms before I could stop
myself.

"Sebastian?!"
I whispered, in shock.

"Hey, Rocky."
he said while he chuckled.

"What are you doing here? I mean I thought you'd come
home a few weeks from now! Shit, I'm totally squeezing the life
out of you but I'm so excited you're here."
I said, my arms still wrapped around his neck.

"I know, it was supposed to be a surprise. I have a feeling it
worked, too."
he said and wasn't in the process of letting me go, just yet.

"I've missed you, Stan. Like, a whole lot."
I said and pressed my lips against his cheek.
And again and again until Sebastian was laughing and I released
him and looked at him.
"You're hair is longer."

"I know. Yours is shorter. And more red than I remember."
he said as he looked at me.
"I've missed you, too."

I sighed.
"I get off at five, but.."
I began but there was a mischievous grin on his face.
"What?"

"I might have called here about a week ago. Someone was willing
to take over your shift."
he said, quite proudly he pulled it off.

"What? Who?"
I asked and I heard someone clear her throat.
"Mandy. Why, you little.."

"I wouldn't finish that sentence, dear. I might start
calling you Marge again."
she said with a sparkle in her eyes.

"You can start calling me Marge from now on, if that's float
your boat. You have no idea how grateful I am. Thank you."
I said and hugged her, quickly.

"You're welcome. Now get that apron off and go. I don't want to see
you hear until monday."
she said and unhooked my apron, swiftly.

"Monday? But I have a shift tomorrow and the day after that."
I mumbled in confusion.

"It's been taken care of. Just go!"
she said and gave me a gentle push towards Sebastian.

"You two were both in on this? Honestly."
I said, looking at them in turns.

"Oi, shut up. Let's go. Thanks again, Mandy!"
Sebastian said and grabbed my hand to pull me out of the
coffeeshop.

"Shit, I'm still processing."
I said, after a few minutes of walking.

"Processing?"
Sebastian asked, as he waited for a chance to cross the street.

"Yeah, processing. I just didn't expect you here. Like, at all.
And it's a good thing you're here but you caught me
by surprise and totally off guard."
I admitted, as we started walking again.

"I know, that was pretty much the intention of the
whole surprise thing. Mandy even told me to come around
noon so you would be on your break."
he said, as he rounded a corner.

I could tell that he was walking to my apartment, without
even thinking about where he was going. It made sense;
we spent alot of time together on his or my couch, depending
on which apartment we were.

"That sneaky little shit."
I replied and shaking my head.
"She was all 'oh hey some guy is here to see you and he seems
to know you so maybe you should go and see' like she had no clue."

Sebastian chuckled and rounded another corner before stopping
at the entrance to my apartment. I got my key and opened the door.

While waiting for the elevator, I slipped my hand in his.
"I kind of need to hold on to you to make sure I'm not
making this up."

"That's fine. You know I don't mind."
he shrugged.

When we were in my apartment, I threw my coat on the couch.
"Can you give me 30 minutes? I really want to take a shower
to smell less like coffee and more like me."

"Of course, I'll be here."
Sebastian replied and put his leather jacket over one
of the chairs.
"I've missed this place."

I smiled and quickly went inside my bedroom, grabbing
things I needed along the way. It took me a full 30 minutes
to shower, get dressed and blow dry my hair to look like me
again.

I walked in the room and smelled..
"Coffee? Dude."

Sebastian chuckled as he flipped through the channels.
"Sorry, I forgot to bring any from your place so I had to
make some, here."

I sat down next to him and he smiled.
"You don't smell like coffee anymore, though. So you're
good. How have you been?"

I shrugged.
"Ah well, you know. Same old, same old. Still trying to
get out of the workplace but other than that, peachy.
How about you? Do tell because I haven't seen you in a
few months."

"Ah well, press and interviews and tv shows. Other than that, trying
to take some time off between everything but not succeeding
very well so now I'm here to do just that."
he answered, as he decided on a channel.

I looked at him and saw bags forming under his eyes.
"Do you need to sleep? You look tired. I didn't notice before,
being shocked by your presence and all."

"I'm pretty tired from the flight but I'll be fine. I'll sleep when
I'm back at home."
he said with a small wink.

"You can close your eyes for a while if you want, I really
think you should. I don't mind. You know I don't."
I said, as I stood up to grab the blanket I always used when
I was cold and watching tv or reading a book.

"But I just got here. I'm fine."
he argued but I wasn't having it.

"I can see it, Stan. You're tired. Just lay down for a while and
if you don't sleep, that's fine. If you do, great."
I said as I handed him the blanket.

I sat down on the other side of the couch and only looked at him,
eyebrows raised and ready to sum up why he had to lay down.

"I guess you're right. Fine, you win."
he gave in and I smiled, happy for my little victory.

He got under the blanket and I scooted a little closer.
"You can use my leg as a pillow if you want."

He didn't say anything and placed his head on my leg.
His hand was resting next to it and I felt the warmth that came off him
through the pants I'd put on.
"I'll be here when you wake up. I'm glad you're back."

"I'm glad I'm back, too."
he mumbled.

I started to move my fingers through his slightly longer hair
and felt how soft it was. He was mumbling something but it
wasn't understandable, he was pretty much sleeping within
5 minutes of laying down.

I sighed, content that he was back. Sebastian was
one of the friends I'd made, pretty early on when I'd
arrived in Manhattan. We'd been friends for almost 10 years
and he was the closest one I'd ever had.

I made myself comfortable and when I was sure he
was asleep with no chance of him waking up any time soon,
I switched the channel and watched a re-run of Friends, to start
with. I looked down at Sebastian's sleeping figure and smiled,
knowing I would see him alot the upcoming few days.

----

Impatiently, I was waiting for my shift to end. Sebastian had been back for a
week now and the first few days we were together most of the time,
seeing I had work the monday after so we went to a few restaurants.
We went out to get some icecream, we went to see a movie.
I saw the irony in that but I had alot of fun, just enjoying the time
we had before my normal life would start again.

When the clock hit 5 I was out of there before I could say my goodbyes
to the rest, onwards to my apartment.
I quickly showered when I got home, hoping I would be on time
before Sebastian was there. I was in the middle of drying myself
when I heard a knock on my door.
I wrapped the towel around my body and ran over to the door,
opening it.

"I'm almost done!"
I yelled, seeing I was on my way back to the bathroom to get
myself finished.

"No worries, we have time!"
he yelled back.

I did everything as quick as I could and when I emerged
from the bathroom, I found Sebastian eating my chocolate
chip cookies.

"You little shit."
I said as I quickly grabbed one of the cookies.
"We need to hang out at your place more, you eat everything."

"You get the good stuff, I can't help it."
he said with his mouth full of cookie.

"So get these as well and while you're at it, buy me
another pack. Cookie stealer."
I mumbled as I grabbed us drinks.
"So we are going where tonight?"

"Some club-ish thing. A couple of my friends will be there,
too."
he replied, reaching for the last cookie in the box.
"You want it?"

I nodded.
"Please."

He licked the back of it and then stuck it out to me, hoping I wouldn't
eat it but I grabbed the cookie and ate it, while watching his
grin turn into a full blown smile.
"I did not expect you to do that."
he admitted.

"Oh, please. You know I'm full of surprises."
I rolled my eyes and he chuckled while shaking his head.

I smiled.
"I haven't been out in a while. I'm excited to go. And to be part
of an elite group of Sebastian Stan-friends makes it just that more
amazing."

"An elite group? Shit, Rocky, where do you get this stuff?"
he asked with a shake of his head.

"The interwebs, mostly."
I replied.
"So how about we order take out? And then we can maybe
watch tv, see if anything good is on?"

"Sounds like a plan."
Sebastian replied and sat down, grabbing his phone.
"I feel like pizza. Do you feel like pizza?"

I nodded.
"Sure. You know which one I want."

We talked and had some comments about a show we were
watching. Mostly bad comments because that's what we liked
to do. Not that we hated watching shows but we always tried to
find things wrong, it was almost like a contest between the two
of us.

"So hey, we're leaving soon so I'm gonna go and change
into something more club-ish."
I announced after a while and Sebastian's eyebrows shot up
in confusion.

"What's wrong with what you're wearing now?"
he asked.

"Nothing, if I want to stay indoors. I feel like dressing up
a little, let me have my fun." I said, ruffling through his
hair.
"I promise I won't go overboard. I just want to dress nice."

"Well, if that's what you want. By all means, go ahead."
Sebastian said and I walked off to my bedroom.

I already knew what I was going to pick; a dress completely covered
in sequins. It was a blue/greenish color and I'd bought it a few weeks
back and I hadn't had a chance to wear it.
It was pretty small, fitting my body like a glove. It ended somewhere
a good few inches from my knee. It covered my ass enough, though. I'd
never bought it if it didn't.

I applied some extra eyeliner and mascara, fixed my hair and then
had to pick out a pair of heels. I knew I'd go for black, seeing everything else
I added to my outfit would be black, too.

After about 45 minutes I was done and made my way over
to the living room, where Sebastian was still sitting, phone
on his ear.

"Yeah, we'll be there soon.. Yeah, no Rocky is being a girl and taking
alot of time to get ready."
I heard the grin in his voice and rolled my eyes.
"I'll give you a head's up if we're there, okay? Right. Bye."

I cleared my throat and walked over to him.
"You do know I'm a girl, right? I'm allowed to take some time
to get ready."

Sebastian looked at me and I almost felt that he was stopping
his mouth from falling open when he saw me in the dress.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"
I asked, a blush forming on my cheeks.
"Is it too much?"

I turned around, did a 360 and waited for his response.
When it didn't come, I got a little annoyed.
"Honestly, just tell me already."

He shook his head.
"Nah, no. No, you look great, Roxanne."

I frowned internally. He only used my full name when he
was being way too serious for his own good.

"Thank you. Shall we go?"
I asked, trying to break the awkwardness that engulfed
us after a few silent seconds.

"Yeah, let's. Jenson was just on the phone, the other guys are
already there so we can just go ahead and head in once we're
there."
he said and stood up.
"You got everything you need?"

I nodded.
"I think so, yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and I'm all set."

We took a cab to the club-ish thing, realizing that we would
both drink some alcoholic beverages so we wouldn't be able
to drive anyway.

"Are you sure about this, by the way? You don't really like
going out to these kinds of things. We can always take the cab
home."
I said, when my head caught up with me.
I knew for a fact that Sebastian didn't really care for these kinds
of things but I was so excited to go out that I hadn't even
checked with him if he really, really wanted to go.

"Yeah, once in a while it's okay. And I've been ignoring the guys
ever since I came back. I've pretty much spent all the free time you
have, with you. So the guys really wanted to hang out and this
seemed like a good way to see everyone at once."
he explained.

"But wouldn't it be better if I didn't come, then? You do have
a point; I've been hoarding all your time."
I replied, as it hit me that we spent most of my free time, indeed,
together.

He grabbed my hand and smiled my way.
"I wouldn't be going if you weren't here, too."

I nodded and returned the smile.
"Besides, the guys love you so they'll be fine about it.
I even think that one of them kind of has a crush on you,
you know."

My eyes widened in shock.
"No way."

He chuckled.
"I'm just saying; the way you're dressed tonight might make one
of them hit on you. He might make his move."

I shook my head.
"I don't believe you."

"That's fine. You'll see."
he said with a wink and I felt a knot in my stomach.

When we arrived, we paid the driver and got out. I needed
a little help from Sebastian because when I sat down, the dress
was pretty short. I hadn't thought about that.

When we got inside, it didn't take long for me to see the rest of
the guys so I nudged Sebastian's shoulder and pointed at the rest.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, while he made his way
through the crowd.

When we were at the table the guys were sitting, they all greeted Sebastian
and I with hugs and some kisses on the cheek, on my part.
We sat down and I got into a conversation with Dylan from the minute I
sat down.

After 15 minutes, I caught Sebastian's gaze and he gave me a knowing look.
I felt my eyes widen and looked at Dylan, who was staring off
in the distance. I pointed at him, trying to be subtle about it and
Sebastian gave a little nod before taking a sip of his beer.
I felt my cheeks heat up and I placed my hands on them.

"I'll be right back."
I mumbled, as I stood up and made my way over to the toilets.

I wasn't really sure why the knot in my stomach was back, I just didn't
expect Dylan to have a crush on me; I'd only seen him a couple of times.
I didn't want him to have a crush on me because, frankly, I wasn't
good at this kind of thing. It could be that Sebastian was joking and
I was making a big deal out of nothing but I couldn't be sure.

I sighed, allowed some cold water to run down my wrists and took
a deep breath before I straightened myself and made my way over
to the guys again.

"Good, you're back. Come get drinks with me."
Sebastian said when I was in hearing distance.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, towards the bar.

"You couldn't do this by yourself because why?"
I asked, raising my voice, trying to make myself heard over the
music.

"You looked a little uncomfortable so I thought that maybe you'd
like to help me before making our way back."
he explained and I shot him a thankful smile.
"Dylan's really nice, though."

I nodded.
"I know, he's a good guy and he's really nice but I don't know
him all that well. God, I'm making a big deal out of this. Let's
just drop it, okay?"

Sebastian nodded and kissed my temple.
"Whatever you want, Rocky."

I carried our drinks and Sebastian carried the rest; I wasn't so sure on
heels as I was on my Chucks.
When I wanted to sit down, Sebastian sat down next to me and I
shot him a grateful smile. I knew he only did that because he wanted
to make me feel comfortable again and it worked; being so close
to him calmed me down.

I felt the warmth radiating off his body because he sat so close to
me that half of our bodies were touching. After a while he was in
a conversation with Jenson when I felt his hand on my upper leg, near
to my thigh. It felt like my heart skipped a beat and I felt the heat rise
up to my cheeks but I didn't move his hand away from me.

The night went on for a while, his hand or arm always touching me.
I didn't know why but I also felt that I was more than okay with it.

"That was so mean!"
Sebastian exclaimed when I'd told the guys about the week before,
how I'd found Sebastian looking for his sunglasses when they were secure
on his head. I'd let him look for them for a while until I pointed out
where they were.

"I beg to differ. It all depens on where you're standing and from my
point of view it was pretty damn funny."
I said with a grin and the guys chuckled at Sebastian's expression.
"Besides, you make fun of me all the time so it was time to
turn it on you for once."

He laughed and nodded.
"Okay, I guess you have a point."

The night went on and on, until I felt pretty inebriated by
the alcohol I'd consumed. I wasn't drunk but I felt more secure
about myself and I was having even more of a good time than I was
already having. I could tell the guys had drank enough beer as well
to feel the same way. Sebastian included.
When I checked the time, I saw it was 2 at night.

"You wanna go home?"
Sebastian asked, as he saw the time as well.

"Only if you want to go."
I responded with a slight smile.
"I'm fine with whatever you suggest."

He thought about it for a while and I saw him decide before
he even said anything.
"One more drink and then we'll go?"

I nodded.
"Sure, I think I can take one more drink."

This time, Dylan went to the bar, with Jenson and Sebastian and I
were left at the table.

"You had fun, yeah?"
I asked.

"Yeah, I most definetely did. I hadn't seen them in a while
and you being here made it a great night, you know? I mean,
you're really great and so are they and it was all pretty good.
You know?"
he said and I laughed.

"Yeah, everything was great?"
I asked and he nodded.

"Exactly! You really get me so well, all the time."
he said with a smile.

I chuckled.
"Yeah, okay. One more drink and that's it. You're getting a little
too drunk."

"Oh shut up, I'm fine, Rocky."
he answered and gladly took the beer that Jenson gave him.
"Thanks Jenson!"

Jenson raised his glass as a response and I rolled my eyes.
"One drink and then we're going, guys. This one is not gonna
make it home if we don't watch out. I can't lift him, I'm afraid."

"Are you calling me heavy?"
Sebastian asked and Dylan nodded.

"Yes, she is. And she's definetely right. I've seen the movies man,
you're working out and dude, you're huge."
Dylan said.

We talked a bit about going to the gym and how I was pretty
much the laziest person on the planet for not going when the time
came that our drinks were done.

"Rocky! It's home-time, let's go! See you later guys."
Sebastian stood up from his seat and we both said goodbye
to Jenson and Dylan before making our way out, to the street
to try and find a cab.

It took us a while but eventually we found one and Sebastian gave the
driver his address and I thought it was a good thing because I wanted
to make sure that he got in bed safe.

"Did you have a good time?"
he asked, as he intertwined our fingers and looked at
our hands.

"Yes, I did. It was easier when you sat down next to me, though.
I felt less anxious about Dylan."
I answered, also looking at our hands and wondering why I
wasn't pulling my hand back. My arms felt a bit heavy and I
decided to blame the alcohol.

"Good, I hoped it would help if I took place next
to you."
he mumbled, as he wiped some hair from my
face with his other hand.
"You looked really beautiful tonight, you know that?
I almost had a hard time believing it was you when you walked
out of the bedroom in that dress. The dress looks really good."

I felt a slight blush on my cheeks and smiled.
"Thank you."

The driver announced that we'd arrived at the right address and
we paid him before stepping out.

"Oh, wait. Can you wait here for me please?"
I said but Sebastian shook his head.

"No need sir, we'll both be staying thank you and bye!"
he said and waved before he led me inside of the building.

"But I need to get home?"
I asked, more than stated, a little confused.

"I'll take you home tomorrow, just stay the night tonight.
It's easier and cheaper."
he mumbled, as he tried to get his key in the lock. It took
him a few tries but eventually we made it inside.

"But I don't have anything with me, I need to brush my teeth
and.."
I said but he scrunched his nose.
"What?!"

"We'll think about that tomorrow, okay Rocky? Don't worry about
it, please."
he said and threw his jacket on the kitchen table and I chuckled.
I decided to do the same to my jacket and then I decided I needed
to drink some water before crashing on his couch.

Sebastian had already made it's way down the hall, I had no idea where
he was going or what he was doing. I sat down on the couch, taking my
shoes off, feeling slightly relieved. The shoes were fine for an evening
without much walking but it was always a nice feeling to get them off.

"Stan?"
I asked, while standing up and walking over to the hallway.

"Yeah?!"
his voice came out of the bathroom.

"Do you have a blanket or something? I don't think I need a pillow
'cause you have pillows on the couch."
I said, as I walked over to his bedroom.

I'd been there before and knew my way around but I didn't want
to assume that I'd be staying in his way too comfortable bed with
him.

"Why do you need a blanket?"
his voice came from the doorway and I looked up.

"For sleeping?"

"What, you're actually thinking about crashing on the couch?
You're fucking nuts. There's enough room in my bed."
he said and pulled his shirt off, messing up his hair.

I looked at his torso, still pretty muscled from all the excersize he'd
been getting. My heart skipped a beat and I turned away quickly,
hoping he didn't notice. At the same time I was wondering
why my whole stomach seemed to be turned upside down.

"Are you sure though? I mean.."
I started but his voice cut through mine.

"Yes, I am. Now get out of the dress and get in here."
he mumbled, already under the blankets.

I nodded and was thankful that it was still pretty dark in his bedroom
so I could get out of the dress.
"Can I get one of your shirts?"

"Sure, you can pick which ever you want."
he said, as he watched me walk around.

I didn't bother going to the bathroom and undressed
there, leaving my bra on and pulling his tshirt over my head
before making my way over to the other side of the bed.

I crawled under the blankets and when my head hit the
soft pillow, I was immediately at ease and didn't realize that
I was exhaling with a soft hum.

"You okay?"
Sebastian asked, as he turned my way.

"Yeah, it was a noise of content. I'm pretty tired after the whole
day, to be honest. I had a good time, though. And this bed is
still crazy comfortable."
I replied and opened my eyes, to find my eyes locked with
his.
"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure."
he said and sighed, closing his eyes.
"Glad to be home for a while."

"I'm glad you're home, too. I miss you a whole
lot when you're not here."
I mumbled, as I turned to lay on my back.

I felt his hand on my stomach after a few minutes as he
came a bit closer to me. His warm hand was on the fabric of
his shirt and I smiled.
"You've been doing that all night, your hand is so nice
and warm. It's crazy, your hands are never cold."

I placed my hand on his and almost felt myself slip away
into a peaceful slumber until I felt warm lips on my neck.
I felt my breath stop as I felt his lips again, an inch or so from
the spot he'd placed them before.

I wanted to say something but my vocal chords weren't working
with me and I felt I'd held my breath for too long so I exhaled and
then looked to my right, where Sebastian was.

I locked eyes with him again and my heart was beating
in my chest, hard and fast.
There was something in his eyes I'd never seen before when
he looked at me and I couldn't quite place it.

I didn't know if I'd made a conscious decision or that my
subconscious made me do it but one moment I was looking
at him and the next, I crashed my lips on his.

I felt his lips move against mine immediately and I knew in
my mind that I hadn't taken him by surprise. Which meant that
he knew I would be doing this or that he wanted me to do it.
Either way, I tried not to think about the fact that the friendship
we had built over the last 10 years would be different the moment
we woke up.

There was no denying the fact that he was a phenomenal kisser.
After a few moments I felt him bite my lip softly and a soft
moan escaped my throat. Apparently my vocal chords were working
again.

I ran my tongue over his bottom lip softly and I heard his breath
getting heavier by the moment. I knew that if we didn't stop
soon that we'd be going further and further until there was no going
back.

But somehow, the rational part of my brain had shut down and I
didn't even try to stop where this was going.
When his hands were on my sides, I stopped the kiss
long enough so he could pull the tshirt I had on, over my head.

I realised that I wanted him so bad that I didn't even consider asking
him if he was sure about what we were doing. But I figured he didn't
mind much when I felt him unclasp my bra with one swift movement.

I made the decision to shut everything out but him. If it
was only for one night, that was fine. But I couldn't stop anymore
and even though it scared me, I didn't <i>want</i> to stop.

I wrapped my leg around his waist and pulled him on top of me.
While he was in the process of leaving a trail of kisses down my
neck, I also wrapped my other leg around his waist and I felt
he was ready for whatever was coming next.

I pulled his hair, firm enough to make him look up at me and
I smirked before he crashed his lips on mine again. I scraped my nails
against his back, hard enough to get a moan out of him and I smiled as
we kissed.

"I gotta have you, Rocky."
he mumbled, one hand on my waist and the other next to my head,
holding himself up for support.

I smiled and lifted my torso up so I coud kiss him, hard.
"I'm all yours."

His eyes were clouded with desire and I felt him shiver with
anticipation before he lowered himself on me once again.

-----

I woke up gradually, not by an alarm clock or by someone waking
me up and I loved waking up like that. After a while I realized there
was something wrong with my surroundings and it took me a moment
to figure out where I was.

Then it hit me that I was naked. I rolled onto my other side and
saw Sebastian sitting on the bed with a cup of coffee, a glass of
juice and some breakfast. He had a shirt on and a pair of
jeans, fully clothed.

"Hey."
I said, my throat a little dry after sleeping.

"Hey."
he said with a slight smile.

"You got me breakfast?"
I asked, as I sat up, wrapping the blanket around
my torso.

"Yeah, I thought that maybe you'd be hungry. "
he replied.
"I didn't know what you liked so I just got a few things,
I hope there's anything in there that you like."

I nodded.
"It looks great. I really need to pee though, so I'll be
right back."

I grabbed the tshirt I'd borrowed from him the night before and
pulled it over my head and walked over to his bathroom.
The shirt was long enough to cover most of my ass but I
figured he'd seen enough of me the night before so I didn't
bother pulling it down.

When I returned, I crawled under the blankets again and
started breakfast.
"These are delicious, good idea."
I said as I ate another grape.
"These are really, really good. I could probably eat an entire
box of 'em."

He took a tentative sip of his coffee.
"I'm glad you like them. This is too damn hot, though.
I think I burnt my tongue."

I snorted.
"Well, when it comes to coffee, patience isn't one of your
strong points."

"Shut up."
he set he mug on the bedtable and then crossed his legs.
"So about last night.."

He started and I sat up, too. I faced him, also crossing my legs.
"Hm?"

"Well, do you think we should talk about it?"
he asked, a little uncertain.

"I think it wouldn't be bad to talk about it."
I said, as I took a sip from the juice.

"I'm really sorry for.. For initiating it. I believe I kissed you
first and I don't know what came over me, I guess."
he said, with a slight blush on his face.

I smiled.
"Don't apologize, please. If I hadn't wanted anything to happen,
I wouldn't have responded to you the way I did. And if we really
wanted to stop after kissing each other, we would have. Don't
you think?"

He nodded.
"Yeah, of course. It just.. We've been friends for such a long time
and now this happened and I'm not sure what to say. Or do."

I thought about that for a while. I knew what he meant and what
he was saying but I wanted to say it right. But when I opened my
mouth, he did, too.

"I don't regret it."

I closed my mouth when I heard him say that. I hadn't even
thought about that.

"Well, neither do I. Sex is an act between two people who love
each other and even though we might not love each other in
the way people normally do when they have sex, I do love you
a whole lot, you know?"
I said, hoping he would understand.

His eyes lit up a little when I said that.
"I love you, too."

I chuckled and shook my head.
"Don't worry, okay? We're fine. I had a great, great time
last night so I'm pretty happy the way we are."

"So we're okay. No weirdness?"
he asked.

"Zero weirdness. I'd like to have a shower, though. Our excersize
was kind of sweaty."
I said and he chuckled.

"You know where everything is."
he responded and I nodded before climbing out of bed
for the second time that morning.

"I love you, Sebastian. That'll never change."
I said, as I stood in the doorway and then I made my way over
to the bathroom.

I took a shower, cleansed myself and then put on the dress
from last night. I figured I'd change clothes the minute I got home.

When I was entirely done, I walked over to the living room and
grabbed my jacket.
"Stan?"

"Yeah!"
he walked out of the bedroom, shirtless and a towel in
his hand.

I felt my breath hitch before I cleared my throat. He really had to
stop doing that to me; walking out half naked.

"I'm gonna go, I gotta get out of this dress. It's too fancy
for a saturday afternoon."
I said as I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around
him.
"Call me later, okay? Maybe we can hang out."

"Sure, that'd be nice."
he mumbled and he kissed my temple before releasing me.

"See you."
I walked over to the door and opened it when he called
out to me.

"Rocky?"
I turned around and waited for him to say what he wanted to
say.
"I love you, too."

I smiled and gave him a nod before closing the door behind me,
leaving him in his apartment as I went to find mine.

--------

Sebastian and I remained close friends; not much
had changed between us after we'd spent the night together
but I realized I'd grown a bit frustrated when he'd told me
about a woman he'd met. He was pretty impressed by her,
apparently and I wasn't stupid. I felt jealous about the
whole situation.

We decided to meet up with Jenson, Dylan and 'her'
at the same place we'd been to a few weeks back. Sebastian
wanted to pick me up but I didn't want him to. She was waiting
outside the club for him and I didn't want him to arrive with
me, giving her the wrong idea.

We'd had a heated discussion over it but I'd won. I had decided
on a cab again and walked inside on my own, not seeing Sebastian
yet. I'd found Jenson and Dylan with ease right before Sebastian
walked in with a woman.

"Oh God."
I said and took a quick gulp of my drink.

"You okay?"
Dylan asked, as he'd heard me.

"Yeah, fine. You know, I'm fine."
I mumbled and he looked up when Sebastian had arrived at
the table.

"Ah, I see."
he said before saying hi to Sebastian and the woman he'd brought.

I got up and hugged Sebastian before shaking her hand
and introducing myself.

"Hi, I'm Alanna."
she said, with a smile.

"Roxanne. Nice to meet you."
I said, also smiling and sitting down next to Dylan again.

"You're a good liar."
he whispered in my ear and I chuckled.

"That obvious?"
I wanted to know and he gave me a slight nod.

"So you and Baz, huh?"
he asked, as Jenson got into a conversation with Sebastian
and his date.

"Well, not really."
I said, scrunching my nose.

"He told us what happened. Are you guys okay?"
he asked and I shrugged.

"Yeah, nothing really changed. At first I didn't want anything
to change, you know? I was fine with how we were. But now
he brought a date and, I don't know. I guess I didn't expect
to be jealous about it."
I admitted.

Sebastian gave me a smile and a wink before looking
at Jenson again.

"So why don't you tell him?"
Dylan wanted to know.

"Because he's got a date. And apparently he's not on
the same page as I am. Which is fine, I guess."
I reasoned, taking another sip of my drink.

"You'll be surprised."
Dylan mumbled and I frowned.

"What do you mean?"
I asked and he chuckled.

"Just you wait. At the end of the night he won't be with
his date. They're not going home together."
he said with a wink and I chuckled.

"I'm not sure about what you're saying."
I said and he took a few gulps of his beer.

"I'm not sure, either. But I'm mostly not sure if whatever
I'm saying is making sense, you know? I guess you can't have
brains and good looks at the same time."
he said, with an eye roll.

I laughed and decided there and then that I was going to have
a good night, regardless of the date that Sebastian was having.

After a few drinks, I even managed to actually enjoy myself,
mostly with Dylan. I had a feeling he was trying to distract
me from the two people sitting across from us and I was pretty
thankful for that so, naturally, I stayed by him for most of the night.

"Oh god, I'll be right back. I need to pee."
I said as I stood up.

"What, again?!"
Dylan asked, with big eyes.

"I drank alot!"
I said in my defense.

"Jesus, that's like the fifth time in an hour?"
he asked and I gave him a soft push.

"You're so full of shit."
I said and walked off to the toilets.

I did my business and when I came back, I found Sebastian
leaning against the wall, his eyes on me.

"Hey."
I said a little confused.

"Hey. You alright? You seem a little off tonight."
he asked, with a concerned frown.

I shrugged.
"I'm fine. I'm having a good time."

"Yeah, you and Dylan are getting along, huh."
he stated, more than asked.

I nodded.
"He's really funny. How's Alanna?"

He cleared his throat and shrugged.
"She's fine, you know. Just hanging out."

"You left her with Jenson and Dylan?"
I asked, with a chuckle.

"I wanted to talk to you. I feel like you're avoiding me."
he said, with a sad tone.

I sighed.
"I'm not really avoiding you. I'm just a little.. I don't know.
You have a date and I'm not sure how to feel about that.
But it's not my place to say something about that because
we're just friends. If you want a date, you're allowed to, you
know? I'm confusing you."
I said, when I saw his expression.

"Yeah, you are. What are you saying?"
he asked and I shook my head.

"Never mind, Sebastian. We're fine. I'm having a nice night.
You're having a nice date. It's probably for the best, too.
I'm gonna head back before they think we're repeating what
happened 2 weeks ago."
I said with a kiss on his cheek and walked over to the table.

I walked over to Dylan and sat down next to him before I saw
Alanna's gaze on me. I couldn't really place the look she was
giving me so I paid no attention to it and got a conversation
going with Dylan, again.

Sebastian arrived at our table a few minutes later but I knew
the minute he looked at me that he was pretty much done
with the night. I felt a bit sorry for Alanna, knowing he would
be headed home soon, definetely without her.

After 15 minutes, I wanted to know why he was being
so silent all of a sudden so I stood up and walked over to him.
"You're not having a nice date?"

He stood up, grabbed my hand and walked off towards the exit
after telling everyone that we would be right back.

I looked at the table and saw a flabberghasted Alanna and
an amused Dylan and Jenson looking our way.

Once we were outside, he took me to the corner of the street
to get some privacy.

"What the hell, Stan?"
I asked, confused now.

"I really don't understand anything you said just now."
he said, a little frustrated.

"What, you mean what I said about not having a nice date
anymore?"
I asked, getting more confused.

"No, not that. Earlier. When I wanted to talk to you."
he muttered.

"Oh, that. Well, what part didn't you understand?"
I asked, crossing my arms and waiting for his reply.

"You are avoiding me, I can feel it. And what about the
whole 'you're allowed to date' thing? And what did you mean about
not knowing how you feel about my date? Which, really, wasn't a
date in the formal sense but that's besides the point."
he said, waving his hands in the air.

"Well, once again I'm honestly not really avoiding you
but I'm also not making an effort to talk to you. But when
you want to talk to me, you can and I won't blow you off.
Second, I mean that I don't know how I feel about your not
really date. I just didn't expect to feel the way I did when you
told me you met someone and I guess that I'm trying to accept
the fact that you have a not really date. I'm pretty confused
myself and I had some booze tonight so I'm not sure if I'm saying
it right."
I replied.
"Oh and you are allowed to date because you don't have a
girlfriend. So that was a pretty true statement, as far as I know."

"You.."
he sighed and moved his hands through his hair.
"I don't understand."

"Which part?"
I asked, losing some of my patience.

"You said you wanted to stay friends, after we slept together."
he said, taking a step towards me.

"I did. We both did. I want to stay friends."
I answered and saw his confusion again.

"But now you don't know how you feel about my date?"
he asked.

"Your not so really date. But that's about right."
I nodded.

"How do you feel?"
he asked, taking another step towards me.

"Confused. Because I feel jealous and I shouldn't. But I can't
seem to shake it off."
I said, with a shrug.
"I'm really fine, though. I'll get over it, I'm sure. I just didn't
expect to feel this way."

"But what about Dylan? You and Dylan were talking the entire
night and not once did you try to talk to me."
Sebastian said, as he gently grabbed my arms in his hands.
"If you're jealous, why didn't you just say so?"

I sighed and looked into his beautiful blue eyes.
"Because I didn't realize I was going to be jealous until you told
me about the woman you'd met. And what about Dylan? We were
just talking. He figured out that I wasn't feeling too well when
you arrived with Alanna so he tried to keep my mind off of it.
He was just being nice, nothing more. What, you thought there was
more to it?"

He took a step back and shook his head.
"No. 'course not."

This time, I took a step closer and grabbed his head between my
hands and made him look at me.
"Tell me again it wasn't a big deal to you."

He remained silent for a while.
"What if it was?"

I shook my head and smirked.
"You're just as jealous as I am."

"I'm not, I'm fine with it."
he said and I shrugged.

"Well, in that case, I'll just get back inside. Thanks
for the talk, it really cleared up nothing."
I said and wanted to turn around until I felt a hand on
my arm.

"Rocky, wait."
I heard Sebastian say.

I faced him again and waited for what he was going to say.

"You're right. I'm not fine with it. I didn't want it to be this way
but I guess I'm jealous, too."
he admitted.

"So what are we gonna do about this?"
I asked.

He shrugged.
"I guess I haven't given it much thought. When we decided we
would stay friends, I kind of thought that you weren't interested
or something."

"Interested in what?"
I asked, a little confused.

"In me. Well, more like interested in us. I don't know.
It was a great night, two weeks ago and it made me think
of you differently but in a good way. I just didn't think you'd
be on the same page."
he shrugged.
"I talked to Dylan and Jenson about it and they told me that
maybe I should go on a date with someone else to try and
see if it would help me figure things out."

"So that's what Dylan meant."
I said, a lightbulb going on above my head.
"He said you wouldn't be leaving with Alanna tonight and when
I asked him what he meant, he was really vague about it."

We were both silent now, thinking about things when I cleared
my throat.
"How about we go home? We'll be able to talk about it,
about everything and clear the air between us?"

He nodded.
"Please. I'll tell the guys and Alanna. You want to try and
stop a cab?"

I nodded and after 15 minutes, I was in a cab with Sebastian,
on our way to his place.
Because of our talk, I felt pretty optimistic about the whole situation.
One way or another we would find something that worked for both of
us.

Half way up to his apartment, I felt his gaze on me and I
felt my cheeks heat up. I took a deep breath and decided to
not look at him until I was absolutely sure I could stay somewhat
calm under his staring eyes.
I felt his warm hand on my leg, near my thigh and I closed my eyes,
feeling aroused the minute he touched me. It certainly didn't help
that I knew what he could do and I tried to shake the thoughts
about the last time from my head.

I cleared my throat and shook my head a little.
"I thought we were going to talk?"

"We are."
he replied but I heard the grin in his voice.

When we'd paid the driver and went up to his apartment, I was
feeling nervous and excited at the same time. I had no idea what he
was up to but I wasn't going to ask him.

We entered the apartment and he threw his keys on the counter of
his kitchen, grabbed my hand and led me to the hallway where the
bathroom and bedroom were located.

"Stan, what are you doing? What happened to talking?"
I asked and he stopped and turned his body towards me.

"You were jealous of her."
he stated.

I nodded.
"I was, yeah."

"Why?"
he asked.

"I guess.. Because you were interested in her for more
than friendship and I realized that I would want to have
that chance as well."

"I was jealous of Dylan."
he said, then.

"Why?"
I asked him, this time.

"Because the thought of you being interested in someone else
suddenly made me cringe. I've had girlfriends. You've had
boyfriends in the past 10 years and I never felt completely
comfortable about other guys being with you but I couldn't
quite place what it was until you told me you felt the way you
did, about my date. Is that enough talking for you?"
he asked.

I swallowed and shrugged.
"It makes more sense to me now, so I guess we're okay."

He nodded.
"Good."

He started to make his way down the hall again and allowed me
to walk into the bedroom with him and he released my hand.

"Could you close the door?"
he asked and I closed the door and turned around,
facing him.

He was pressing me against the door, his lips on mine, urgently
before I could even process what he was doing.
I placed one hand in his neck and the other was in his hair, pulling
and adding pressure at the same time.

When he took a step back, I was gasping for air and I bit my lip.
He was looking at me, his face an inch from mine and his hands
leaning against the door, next to my head.

"If you don't want this, tell me now. I don't think I'll be
able to stop if we keep going."
he said, his eyes a shade darker than their normal color.

"Oh, honey."
I said and pushed him backwards, onto the bed and sat
on top of his lap and straddled him.
"I don't ever want you to stop."

I was kissing him before I could help myself and I heard him
moan softly, when I bit his lip. His hands were on my sides
before he grabbed my shirt and lifted it over my head, leaving me
in my bra. His lips were on mine again, the minute the shirt was out
of the way.

I pushed him down on the bed after I'd removed his shirt
and smirked as I felt his heart beating like crazy.
It was the same erratic beating that my heart was
producing.

Somewhere inbetween hungry kissed and wandering hands, our
clothes were discarded and we were both down to our last
pieces of clothing.

"You realize there's no going back from this, right?"
he said, as we were both ready for whatever what was coming
next.

"I do."
I mumbled, before softly pecking his lips and wiping some hair
from his face.
"Are you sure?"

He nodded immediatly.
"Yes, I am."

I smiled and kissed him once more, feeling completely at ease.

----------

Waking up the next day, I felt a warm body against mine,
an arm around my waist. I sighed, content with where I was.

"Goodmorning."
Sebastian mumbled and kissed my shoulder.

"Goodmorning."
I answered and turned around to face him and smiled
when I saw him.
"We had sex. Again."

He smiled.
"Is that what they call it?"

I nodded and we both laughed a bit before I placed a strand
of hair behind his ear.
"It's really growing out, you can even get it behind your ears
now."

"You don't like it?"
he asked, as he traced my arm with his fingers, sending
goosebumps down my spine.

"I do but the short hair also looks really good on you. I
guess you're handsome either way."
I said, as I stretched myself out.

"Thank you."
he mumbled and I sat up.

"I need to pee. Don't move, though. I'll be right back."
I jumped out of bed and quickly made my way to the bathroom
to pee and then returned.

I didn't bother on clothes this time; everything was different now.
"So hey, about last night. Where does this take us?"
I asked, as I crawled back in bed with him.

"The right way, hopefully. Let's see how it goes? I'm ready
to try and see if we can make this work. But only if you want it,
too."
he said, as I nodded.

"I am. No more Alanna's or Jessie's or whatever their names
were. Just you and me would be nice."
I said and sighed.
"I'm happy."

Sebastian smiled and softly kissed me before answering.
"I am, too. I'm sorry about the whole date thing. I just needed to
sort some things and.."

I placed my hand over his mouth.
"Don't. It worked, didn't it? We might have taken a longer
route but this time it wasn't an out of the blue thing.
We both wanted this. We weren't unsure of what to do or say
and we're fine. Friends but not just friends."

"Not just friends sounds nice."
he said as he grinned.
"How about breakfast, though? I'm starving."

I chuckled.
"You would be. Breakfast sounds great. I'd like to take a shower
first, though."

"Me, too."
he said with an innocent expression on his face.

"You are more than welcome to join me while I get
in the shower, you dirty Romanian devil, you."
I replied and he laughed.

"Well, you don't have to tell me twice."
he said and got out of bed and grabbed us both
a towel.

"Ready?"
he asked as he smiled at me.

"I sure am."
I replied before I got out of bed and followed him to the shower.

"Oh hey, Stan?"
I asked as we were waiting for the shower to heat up.

"Mhm?"
he asked, looking at me.

"Don't take this the wrong way but I still love
you a whole lot."
I said and kissed him.

"Don't take this the wrong way but I love you a whole
lot, too."
he mumbled against my lips.

I had a feeling that we would be fine, certainly now
we realized that we were better together.