Don't Let Me Drown

I woke up the following Tuesday in the front seat of my car in a random parking lot on the outskirts of Sheffield. I'd been living in my car for quite a while now. I stayed the night at Jade’s house whenever her parents went away but they'd been home a lot recently. Even after everything, 18 and homeless is not how I pictured my life turning out.

I needed to get a job because I was very quickly running out of money, but I'd been turned down everywhere I applied. They need you to put down your home address on the forms and I didn't have one. I was getting desperate so I sent Tom a text message.

PoisonIvy: Hey, are you busy? Need to ask you something.
TomTom: Anything. I'm at Drop Dead if you want to stop by.

I went into my backseat and changed my clothes before starting the drive to London. I hadn't spoken to Oliver since the night he thought I slept with his brother. Jade’s been at school during the day and Tom was usually working so I've been pretty lonely; I was excited to go see him.

The drive was quick and the girl behind the register greeted me with a sympathetic smile. I had only been to the store a small handful of times but Oliver must have told everyone we weren't together anymore. I asked for Tom and she led me into the back through various doors.

She opened the last one and we were in a large white room. There were lights set up, a few people were walking around, and clothing racks spread about. I thanked the girl and she went back the way we came. I saw Tom holding his camera, snapping pictures of a beautiful girl wearing a Drop Dead sweatshirt. He smiled when he saw me and told everyone to take a break.

"What can I do for yeh?" He asked, walking over to me.

"I was kind of wondering if you guys were, maybe, hiring?" I said nervously and he smirked at me.

"For yeh we are. But I can't hire new people, yeh need to talk to, uh, the manager"

"Okay, nevermind. Sorry for bothering you at work" I apologized but he just laughed and took my hand, leading me down another hallway to a different door.

"Wait here" he said before opening the door and just popped his head in. "I've got someone here who wants a job" he said.

"We're not hiring" the person in the room mumbled in a very familiar voice.

"Are yeh sure bout that?" Tom said and motioned for me to step inside. I walked in and Tom closed the door as he left.

"Well, shit, this is awkward," I said quietly making Oliver smirk. I knew he was the owner and hung out here sometimes but he's not who I expected to be speaking to. "I didn't know it was gonna be you in here, sorry, I'll just go" I said.

"Yeh want a job here?" He sounded confused as he put down the sketch pad he had been scribbling in.

"Kind of out of other options," I admitted, "I didn't realize you would be here"

"We do need anotha female model. The job is yours if yeh want it. Do yeh need money?"

"Why else do people get jobs?" I laughed.

"I can help, just need to run to an ATM."

"I'm not taking your money. And I can't model, so sorry for wasting your time I guess" I told him and walked towards the door.

"I'll teach yeh. Yeh just have to fill out some paperwork so we can pay yeh and stuff. And at some point yeh'll probably have to do a shoot wiff me, is that gonna be weird for you?"

"No, I'll be fine" I told him, looking at my feet. Truthfully, it would be weird but I’d just have to get over it. I miss him a lot. I'd been regretting ending what we had since it happened, but I was trying to do what was best for him. He had more important things to do than worry about me.

"How have yeh been?" He said and my head snapped up to meet his eyes.

"Um, fine. A little bit lonely lately ‘cause Jade and Tom have been busy a lot," I said forcing a laugh, "what about you?"

"I've been okay" he said.

"So when should I do that paperwork?" I asked him. He reached inside the desk and took out a form a few pages long and handed it to me.

"Now if yeh like" I started filling it out and he went back to sketching something in his notepad. I left the address spot blank, hoping Tom would cover for me if anyone noticed, and checked the box for Full Availability before putting it on the desk in front of him.

"I'm gonna go so you can finish that" I said and he chuckled before standing up

"It's like a maze out there, I'll walk yeh out" he said. I thanked him and walked into the hallway with him. He put his hand on my lower back and led me back through all the hallways. I froze for a second when he touched me but then I felt warm. I missed his touch and I missed him. If I was gonna see him every day, maybe this job wasn't such a good idea. I'm still hooked on him.

"Thanks for help" I said to the girl behind the counter as we passed. She smiled at me and then looked at Oli confused.

"Why is yeh car all packed up?" He said when we reached it.

"Oh, um, just cleaned my room and found some stuff to donate" I said nervously and I knew he could see right through my lie. Thankfully, he let it go for now. We both just stood there awkwardly for a minute, not knowing what to say. "Thanks for helping me out. I'm sorry to bother you at work." I said finally and he laughed.

"Yeh not a bother." He chuckled and took a step closer.

"I'm gonna go" I said, looking at my feet, but they wouldn’t budge.

"Okay" he said but we both still just stood there.

"I'm sorry about last week, I just have a lot going on I need to handle" I said quietly. He reached his hand out and lifted my chin so I would look at him.

"Yeh need to let me know when somefing’s not right," he said, looking into my eyes, "or we’re gonna break up every time somefing happens. Yeh need to start telling me fings."

"I know. I'll work on it." I said trying to look away but it was a futile effort, they kept landing back on him. "I miss you" I blurted out.

"I miss yeh too" he said with a small smile.

"I guess I'll see you soon" he nodded at me and let go of my face but didn't back away. I reached out and ruffled his hair, making him groan.

"Yeh know, yeh the only one I let do that"

"Why?" I laughed.

"Because I love yeh" he said and I felt my cheeks turn pink. He smiled when he noticed.

"Are you flirting with me, Oliver Sykes?" I joked and he laughed again.

"Always am, aren't I?" He said, taking a few steps back so I could get into my car.



As I walked back into the store, Ally stopped me at the register. "Yeh must really be serious about her" she said with a smile. I looked at her, confused at what she was talking about. "I've known yeh for 3 years and I've never been allowed to touch yeh hair" she laughed.

"Was that Ivy? The Ivy?" She raised her eyebrows and I chuckled, nodding my head. "I like her" she smiled.

I met Ally a few years back when she got hired here. She was one of the only girls who worked here, aside from the snobby models. She had given me some pretty decent advice towards the end of my last relationship so when I was trying to get Ivy to go out with me, I went to her for help.

I went back into my office, intent on finishing the design I had started earlier, but Ivy's application caught my eye. I turned on the computer, figuring I'd put in her info so I wouldn't have to worry about it later. I started typing in the details, but noticed she left a few boxes blank.

"Tom!" I called. A minute later he opened the door and walked in.

"What do yeh need?" He said, sounding annoyed. He was still pissed off at me for the Ketamine but at least we were civil.

"Do yeh know Ivy's address? She left it empty on her papers" I said, looking through the rest of the sheets. "And why did she check off full availability? She's got school during the week"

"I don't know" he answered, shrugging his shoulders awkwardly.

"I'll just text her I gue-"

"No! I, uh, I'll just have her stop by tomorrow night for a shoot and I'll get it from her and I'll put it in myself" he said, walking towards the door.

"Tom," I stopped him, "what are yeh hiding? Are yeh fucking her?" I said seriously.

"What? No, yeh fuckin wanker. Don't yeh trust her? Or me?"

"Well I fought so but the two of yeh are keeping somefing from me, what else am I s'posed to think?" I yelled and he didn't say anything for a while.

"She's not going to school anymore" he said finally.

"What are yeh talking about? I drove her there last week." I said, confused.

"That's because she doesn't want yeh to know. She walks to the door and waits for yeh to drive away. I'm not supposed to tell yeh" he said. I nodded at him and he walked out.

I didn't understand. If she wasn't going to school, why keep pretending? And why didn't she want me to know? I started thinking up a plan to get to the bottom of this.