Don't Let Me Drown

The next two weeks were exactly same. I went to Drop Dead almost every other day while they were taking pictures of the new designs. I did my pictures. Oliver did his. He still wasn’t speaking to me, barely even acknowledging my presence. I wasn’t as sad as I had been, more pissed off now that he wouldn’t even let me explain. I had decided to give up on this job and look for something else. I couldn’t be around him this often.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” I asked Tom, as he put down his camera and Oliver and I walked away from the backdrop.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I’m gonna start looking for another job, so I don’t know if you need like two weeks’ notice or anything?”

“No! Yeh can’t quit! I’m never gonna see yeh!” He said loudly, sticking out his bottom lip in a pout.

“Yeh quitting?” Oli said, popping his head up from the other side of the clothing rack next to us.

“Yep” I said, looking away from him.

“Why?” He asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“Gee, I fuckin’ wondah” Tom laughed, rolling his eyes.

“Realleh, why?” Oliver asked again. I opened my mouth but nothing came out, so I turned and walked outside to have a cigarette. I held it between my lips and reached my hand into my pocket for my lighter, only to see it wasn’t there. I searched my other pockets for it and a tattooed hand appeared in front of me, holding his own out to light it for me. “It’s cos of me, isn’t it?” He said, clenching his jaw.

I shook my head and looked at the ground. He was silent for a while, but he was standing closer to me than he had been the last two weeks.

“Yeh car’s still packed.” He said after a while.

“I know”

“yeh want to tell me why?” He said, looking at me and waiting for a response.

“I live there” I shrugged, avoiding his eyes.

“Jesus, fuck, Ivy” he muttered.

“No, you don’t get to be mad. You already got mad and I was ready to tell you about it and you shut me out, so fuck off” I scoffed at him, my anger rising up to the surface.

“Tell me now, then.”

“No.” I told him. I turned to walk away but he took my arm in his hand, stopping me.

“I want to hear it. Tell me”

“You gonna have another temper tantrum?” I asked, raising my eyebrows and he smirked at me, shaking his head. “I got expelled from school while you were away on tour and Parker kicked me out” I said, and I saw his jaw tighten.

“Yeh been living in yeh car since I was on tour?” he said and I could tell he was trying not to get upset. “yeh have to go finish up inside, but we’re talking about this later.”

“No, I already gave you a chance to talk about it” I told him as I walked back inside. He didn’t follow me. I wanted to slap myself for saying that last part. Yes, I was pissed off at him but if we never talked, we’d never get back on good terms. I missed him and I wanted to get back with him, but anything would be better than this tension we’ve had between us.

I pulled another outfit after outfit off the rack and posed as instructed for the next couple of hours. I walked out of the bathroom after changing into my own clothes and walked up to Tom, only to find that he was on the phone, laughing about something. I started to walk away and leave him to his conversation but he waved me back over.

“Yeah?” he laughed, “How’d yeh get her to agree to that?” He said into the phone. “Alright, I’ll bring her by” He said after a few seconds before hanging up.

“yeh presence had been requested at the Sykes household” He said with a huge smile spread across his face. I rolled my eyes, knowing Oliver was up to something.

“I guess I’ll meet you there” I told him.

“Good luck wiff that” He chuckled. I reached into my bag, looking for car keys that weren’t there.

“Did you take me keys?”

“I didn’t but someone else did” He smirked. I groaned and followed him out the door while he locked up the store.

-----------------------

We parked in front of their house and I saw my car sitting empty in the driveway. “I’m not staying here” I said as we walked towards the door. He ignored me and I followed him inside to see Oliver in the kitchen putting a stack of dishes in the cupboard.

“Welcome home” he smiled towards me. I stopped in my tracks, crossing my arms off my chest.

“Good luck, mate” Tom said with a laugh, patting his shoulder as he walked past him. Oli nodded towards the stairs and I reluctantly followed him up them into his room.

“Yeh can stay in here wiff me if yeh want or in the spare room. It doesn’t have a bed yet though so I’ll sleep on the couch for a few days until it’s delivered.”

“I’m not taking over your bedroom” I told him firmly, “Give me my keys back.”

“I put yeh clothes and stuff away but but feel free to move them where evah” He continued, ignoring my statement.

“Oliver, my keys?” I repeated.

“Not until yeh talk to me” He said, his face turning serious.

“I already told you what happened” but he just looked at me, waiting for more of an explanation. “I’m tired, Oli. I don’t want to fight with you. Can I please just have my keys back?” I asked him. I was exhausted from this week and I didn’t have the energy to argue right now, I just wanted to go to sleep. He shook his head and I huffed, walking out of his room and heading downstairs for the couch.



I was upset with her for keeping it from me, but I was more upset with myself for not realizing it sooner. When she told me she’d been living in her car, I was mad at first but then I just felt hurt. I should have known. I should have been able to figure it out on my own. She shouldn’t have been scared to tell me. I should have made her feel safe, when somehow I did the opposite.

I snuck back inside when she wasn’t paying attention and took her keys from her bag, still unable to believe she’d been homeless for so long. Why hadn’t Tom told me? Why didn’t he have her move in when it first happened, while I was away?

I drove her car back to mine. I brought everything inside and unpacked it as best as I could, but I didn’t know where she’d want everything. When they arrived, she just kept asking for her keys back, trying to leave. I understood that she was upset, so was I, but I didn’t think she’d try so hard to get away from me. When she walked out, I let her go to give her a chance to cool down. She couldn’t get very far without her car and had to be back soon.

I waited in my room for her to return but two hours later, she hadn’t. I grabbed a sweatshirt and was about to walk out the door to find her, but I heard movement in the dark living room. I flicked on a small light and saw that she hadn’t even left, she’d been here the whole time.

She was lying on the couch, curled up in a ball, sound asleep. She looked freezing, not having any blankets or pillows. I gently scooped her up into my arms and brought her back upstairs, placing her down on my bed where she’d be more comfortable. I pulled the blankets up over and as I turned to leave, her hand reached out and grabbed mine tight. I thought she’d woken up, but her eyes were shut tight. Her eyebrows furrowed together and her lip started to quiver. She looked as if she were having a nightmare.

“Ivy, love, wake up” I said quietly, lightly shaking her shoulder, but she didn’t budge. “Ivy, what’s the mattah?” Her eyes shot open and she gasped for air. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked her quietly, brushing her hair out her face. She looked scared and I hated it. I hated when she felt negatively. No matter what was going on with the two of us, she deserved nothing but the best and it was my job to provide that for her.

“How did I get here?” she said, sitting up and looking around the room.

“I brought yeh up a few minutes ago, but yeh looked like yeh were having a bad dream” I told her and sat on the edge of the bed. She nodded but didn’t say anything and continued to avoid my eyes. “What was it about?”

“My dad” she answered, barely above a whisper. I nodded in understanding. Neither her nor her brother told me what happened to him, only that he died, but I knew it still affected her a lot. Anytime it was brought, she’d completely shut it down and change the subject, staying in a weird mood for the rest of the day.

“Do yeh want me to leave yeh alone so yeh can go back ta sleep?” I asked her.

“No, but if you’re tired, I can go downstairs so you can go to bed” I shook my head. I was tired, but I’d rather be with her. I climbed further onto the bed, sitting next to her. I left enough distance between us, so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, but she closed it and put her head against my chest.

“Are yeh alright?” I asked her, playing with her hair. Her attitude towards me had completely flipped from earlier. Instead of still being pissed off, she wanted me near her.

“no. I don’t want you to leave me” she sniffled and I swear my heart broke. I picked up her small frame and put her into my lap, placing my lips against her forehead.

“I couldn’t leave yeh even if I wanted to. Yeh like a fuckin’ drug to me” I told her honestly, “everybody fights, doesn’t mean they stop caring.”