Don't Let Me Drown

"Tom!" I whispered yelled into the phone as soon as he picked up.

"Yes?" He laughed.

"I need help, can you come over? Are you busy?" I pleaded.

"Uh, on my way" he said and hung up. I saw him pull in a few minutes later and ran outside to meet him.

"What's the mattah? I fought yeh were hurt or somefing"

"No, sorry. They left everything in the lobby and I need to get it upstairs before anyone sees it or I'm going to lose my apartment" I said, giving him my best puppy dog face so he would help me.

"Did yeh just apologize for not being hurt?" He asked with a small smirk. I rolled my eyes at him and led him through the doors so he could see the problem. He left out a deep breath and made a face.

"What?" I asked him.

"We're gonna need more help. It's too bulky for me to bring up myself and yeh a weakling"

"I am not" I defended quietly, though he was right.

"Erm, let me call my brotheh and see what he can do"

"No, we're-"

"I know. He told me, but do yeh have a bettah plan?" He asked, pulling his phone out. I ran a hand over my face, trying to think but came up empty. I shook my head and he smirked as he dialed the number.

"This is cheating" I huffed, crossing my arms.

"Is not. Just a series of unfortunate events" he told me.

"Hey, Oli. I'm here wiff a friend of mine," he glanced at me as he spoke into the phone, "and we have a bit of a problem. A big problem. Can yeh grab who evah yeh can and come ovah?" He gave Oli the address, keeping up the charade, and hung up.

Tom and I were left in the lobby, both pacing back and forth trying to think of how to get this stuff upstairs. We'd have to carry it up all three flights. There's no way it'd be able to fit in the elevator, even one at a time. Twenty or so minutes later, the tattooed boys of Bring Me The Horizon came walking in with smiles on their faces. The one I was pretending not to know, stayed towards the back, but he smirked when he caught my eye.

"So, what are we gonna do ‘bout all this?" Vegan asked. I shrugged and bit my lip, looking over at Tom.

"Bring it up the stairs, I guess" he said, though it sounded like more of a question. The group nodded and a few of them, including Tom, gathered around to box spring and moved it towards the first flight of stairs.

"Hey, I'm Oliver, Tom's brotheh" Oli said, walking up to me and holding out his hand. I smirked and shook my head before placing my hand in his.

"Ivy. Sorry about this" I apologized, motioning to the mess in front of us.

"No worries, nice outfit by the way" he smirked as he looked me up and down. I was still in my Jurassic park t-shirt and shorts I slept in. My hair was in a pile on top of my head and I had yesterday's makeup still on, though luckily it wasn't too messed up. I felt my face turn red as I looked down at my clothes and he noticed. "Don't be embarrassed, I love that movie" he chuckled as he walked over to the couch with Jordan.

They lifted it with ease and I followed them to the stairs, where they got held up waiting for the other guys to move. "Grab yeh own corner yeh fucking wanker!" Lee said to Matt.

"This is my corner, fuck off" Matt said back as he struggled with his grip.

"Just go!" Tom yelled and they finally started to move again. They struggled to get it around the corners as they reached new sets of stairs, but after a little bit of time and a whole lot of arguing the couch and part of my bed were outside my apartment door.

They went back down the way they came to retrieve the rest of the things. While they were gone, I unlocked the door and started pulling the box spring, in an attempt to drag it inside. I got it almost halfway through the door and I heard their arguing getting closer. All of a sudden, there was a push from the other side of the door and it slid in easily, almost knocking me off my feet.

"S-sorry" Matt said in hysterics, "I didn't know yeh were on the other side" he laughed. When he pulled himself together, everything else was brought in and out in their correct places.

"Thanks so much you guys. I promise I'll stop bugging you all now" I laughed.

"Yeh not bothering anyone. We love hanging out wiff yeh" Vegan said, sitting down on the couch with Tom.

"Well you guys can stay as long as you like. I can go get beers or something if you want" I offered. I was so grateful to have them but I felt guilty because I only really saw them now when I needed help. It's been awhile since we've all hung out like we used to without any drama.

"I can drive yeh" Oli said from next to me.

"Okay" I replied out of habit. I should have said no. I quickly changed and told everyone we'd be back soon and we took the elevator down to the lobby. He led me to his car and I got into the passenger side.

"So, tell me about yehself Ivy" he said as he drove.

"I'm 19. I'm from New York, dad died, mom split, moved here with my brother a few years ago" I answered nonchalantly. In reality, he already knew everything about me. "What about you?"

"I'm in a band wiff yeh friends called Bring Me The Horizon. I live wiff Tommy not too far from here. Fresh out of rehab and recently single" he shrugged, glancing out his window and then looking back at the road.

"That's.. Unfortunate" I said, not really sure what to say to that.

"Yeh have no idea" he laughed. He parked the car and came into the store with me. I picked up a random case of beer, knowing they weren't picky, and a bottle of vodka. We checked out quickly and he drove back to my place.

He didn't talk too much after that. I hung out with everyone for a while, watching movies, talking, and having a few drinks, until they had to go. Tom stayed behind to help me set up the bed frame. The couple of beers I had and lack of food were making my mind wander off in places it shouldn't be.

"Yeh alright Ivy?" Tom asked, "yeh not usually this quiet"

"I'm fine. Just thinking" I answered, plopping myself down onto the bed. He did the same, lying next to me.

"About what? Oli?"

"Yeah, sort of." I shrugged. I was thinking about how much I missed him. It was a mistake trying to start over as complete strangers. All it was going to do was waste both of our time. I did want to be with him, even after everything he did. I guess I'm just afraid to let my guard down again.

Apart from that, I was thinking a lot about Tom too. When Oliver came home from the facility, he told me Tom was in love with me. Was there a chance he was right? Tom was always there for me. Any time I needed him or just wanted someone to hang out with, he'd rush over. He was sweet and respectful and just as good looking. A part of me wishes he was the one who taught me how to love. Things would be so much easier with him. But the other part of me knew we were too different to ever last. It wouldn't be fair to Oliver or him to start something now. Oliver had so much of me that I’d never be able to hand over to his brother.

"Yeh know yeh can talk to me if yeh want to, right?" He said.

"I just feel like I made a huge mistake." The alcohol said, "starting over is just wasting time. We'll be back together eventually. There's just too much there that I don't want to let go of."

"So what's the problem then?"

"I don't want to let my guard down. I don't want to open to him. When I did, he just threw it back in my face like I didn't even matter. I don't know if I can trust him again. And I don't want to be a part of something where I have to hide parts of myself and always wear a suit of armor".

He stayed silent next to me, but he reached over and squeezed my hand. It was comforting but also unsettling. "Oli told me you were in love with me" I looked at him. He didn't answer. "The day he came home. Was he telling the truth?"

"Doesn't mattah. It wouldn't change anyfing, would it?" He shrugged, looking at the ceiling.

"Tom, Why didn't you tell me?" I wondered. My phone buzzed from next to me and I saw Oli's name but I ignored it.

"I kind of fought yeh knew. And I knew I could nevah really have yeh" he said. I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent. After a minute or two, he got up. "I should get going. I'll see yeh latah" I walked him to the door and hugged him, even though he didn't seem like he wanted to.

When he was gone, I went back into my new, comfy bed and ended up falling asleep for a while. I woke up some hours later, confused as to why it was still dark out, before remember it was only around 9 pm when I fell asleep. The clock said 3:29 and I remembered seeing someone’s name on my phone earlier. After digging through the blankets and finding it, I opened up the message to answer.

OloberSyko: hey, it's Oli. I got your number from Matt.
PoisonIvy: hey, sorry, I fell asleep earlier

To my surprise, he texted back a minute later, making me chuckle at what a dork he was.

OloberSyko: no worries :-) We should all hang out again sometime.
PoisonIvy: yeah, we should. Why aren't you sleeping?
OloberSyko: just getting some work done
PoisonIvy: sorry to bother you. Writing your next hit?
OloberSyko: you apologize too much
OloberSyko: if you don't mind me asking, are you seeing anyone?
PoisonIvy: not exactly
OloberSyko: can I take you out sometime? I can't seem to get you off my mind
PoisonIvy: I'll think about it ;)
OloberSyko: playing hard to get, love? ;)
PoisonIvy: always. But I think I can make room in my schedule for you
OloberSyko: how's tomorrow around 7?
PoisonIvy: it's a date

A year after we first got together and he still makes me smile like crazy. I rolled over in bed and buried my face in my pillow in a failing attempt to smother the butterflies. Maybe this would be a good thing. A fresh start. No drama with cheating or drugs or any of my problems. But is shoving everything back down really such a good idea?