Don't Let Me Drown

"Well do you still love him?" Jade asked.

"Of course I do. I just, I don't know" I answered, looking through my closet for something to wear.

"Listen, I think the two of yeh are meant for each othah. I'm just worried about yeh. I don't want yeh to get hurt again"

"I know. Thanks. Are you gonna be here when I get back?" I asked. Oliver would be here any minute so finished up getting dressed and put my shoes on.

"Duh. Yeh have to tell me all the juicy details" she laughed with a roll of her eyes. I heard him knocking on the door so I gave her a quick hug goodbye before leaving her in the bedroom to answer it.

"Hey beautiful" he smiled and held out his arm for me to take. I closed the door behind me and placed my hand in the crook of his elbow. He opened the car door for me and smirked at the look I gave him before getting in and starting to drive.

"Where are we going?" I wondered.

"I thought we'd keep it casual tonight, so I was thinking dinner?" He asked and looked at me. I nodded and just hoped he couldn't hear the noises my stomach was making.

He drove to us to a breakfast diner and we took our seats in a booth. "Why do you look so nervous?"

"It's hard not to be wiff a pretty girl around" he said. He always knew how to make me blush and used to take advantage of it whenever he got the chance. When the waitress finished taking our order, she asked him for a picture and this time, he was the one blushing. "I'm sorreh, Ivy. She's a fan of Bring Me."

"Don't apologize, that was cool" I smiled. He loved meeting fans and they loved meeting him. He was in his element, and he was happy. I took in the details of his face as we waited for our food. The details I missed so much; his eyes that held the whole universe and more, his perfect teeth, and goddamn - those cheekbones. I hadn't realized that he'd been watching me too.

"Yeh look different" he said.

"What do you mean?"

"Full of light. It looks good on yeh" he smiled and leaned back in his seat. The waitress came back with our food but he didn't take his eyes off of me. I looked down at the couple of pancakes in front of me with regret, and tried to put off eating a little longer.

"How are you doing now that you're back?"

"I fought yeh wanted to forget. Be strangers" he said with a smirk. I took a deep breath before responding.

"I did, but I've been thinking. If we're not honest, were never going to truly move past it." I said and he nodded.

"I've been alright. Trying to rebuild the bridges I've burned."

"Do you regret any of it?" I asked.

"Yes and no. I regret all that I did to yeh and everyone else. I had no reason to be unhappy, but I was. I needed it to get dark before I saw the light. It made me realize that my actions have consequences and how much I had to lose."

"Is it weird that I'm asking you about this?"

"It's not the 'first date' conversation I'm used to," he chuckled, "but no, I'll tell yeh anyfing yeh want to know"

"What 'first date' conversation are you used to?" I laughed.

"I'm in a band, wanna make out?" He answered as I laughed along with him.

"Did that work on anyone?"

"Usually, yeah. But not wiff yeh. Yeh made me work for it" he smiled.

"Yeah and look where that got us"

"It was worth it. I got to be wiff yeh," he said, sending my heart racing yet again, "yeh barely touched yeh food. We can go somewhere else if yeh like"

"No, this is fine, I just got caught up" I said, forcing a smile and a bite.

While he ate, I asked about his band and what they were working on. I stole small bites when he looked up at me. He told me they'd loved what he had written while he was away so they'd been in the recording studio trying to piece together the album. "I can't wait to hear it" I told him and his face lit up.

"Yeh listen to my band?"

"Sometimes. It's nice to hear your voice."

"I'll send it to yeh soon as it's finished" he beamed. When he was finished, the waitress took our plates and he paid the bill, refusing to let me contribute as usual. “Do yeh want to go home or stay out a bit longer?”

“I can stay out. Unless you have to get back to work” I told him. He shook his head and smiled. We left the diner and instead of getting into his car he took my hand carefully into his and led me down the sidewalk. We didn’t seem to have any destination. We just walked in peaceful silence around town for a while.

A few blocks over, we passed by a small ice cream shop. “Wait here” he said and disappeared through the door. He was gone for about 5 minutes and returned with two ice cream cones. He handed me the pink and blue one. Cotton candy used to be my favorite flavor, and I smiled wide that he even remembered that.

I didn’t really have a choice but to eat it. If I didn’t, it would melt all down my arm and attract too much attention. I slowly licked my desert as we walked and for once, the voices were quiet. We went a little bit farther, talking about random little things that happened this past week, and eventually circled back to the car as we finished eating.

He drove me home and opened the car door for me as I got out. I was about to say goodnight to him, but he placed his hand on the small of my back and walked me inside and up to my floor instead.

“Am I allowed to kiss yeh goodnight?” He asked with hopeful eyes while I stuck my key in the lock. I brought a hand to my chest and opened my mouth, feigning shock that he would suggest such a thing.

“Oliver Scott Sykes, not on the first date” I smirked.

“Yeh killing me, Ivy” he chuckled with a roll of his eyes. I laughed at him and opened the door, stepping inside just slightly. “Can I see yeh again then?”

I bit my lip, trying to stop the pink that no doubt was already adorning my cheeks. “Yes, Oliver”.