Status: Active!

Don't Let Me Drown

Long For That Feeling, To Not Feel At All


"So now I have to hang out with you everyday too?" I groaned, getting into his car.

"Got to make sure yeh keep up yeh half of the deal. Yeh gonna miss meh when tha weeks ova" he smiled, backing out of the driveway. I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. 10 minutes later, we were outside a house. He turned off the car and started getting out.

"Whose house is this?" I asked.

"Mine, obviously"

"Aren't you a little young to have your own house?"

"S'not my own. My younga brotheh lives here too. As long as yeh can pay for it they don't care how old you are" he said, going up the sidewalk. I didn't even know he had a job.

He showed me around when we got inside and I had to admit it was a pretty nice place.

"I've got a meeting here in about an hour. Tommy should be home by then and yeh can hang out wiff him and then we'll go do somefing" he said. I nodded, clearly uninterested.

We sat on opposite ends of the couch. He watched tv and I was scrolling through Instagram on my phone. "So are you datin' that Jack guy yeh were with at jades?" He asked.

"No. I don't play that game" I chuckled.

"What game?"

"Catching feelings, and pretending to be in love. It's horse shit" I told him, searching for a way to change the subject. "How can you afford this place?"

"I'm in a band. We get paid for record sales and touring and shit like that" he answered. How could I not have known he was in a band?

The door opened and who I'm assuming was his brother walked in. Oliver stood up and introduced him to me as Tom. He said I could hang in his room while Oli worked and as we walked towards the stairs the door opened again. The group of tattooed boys I sometimes saw Oli with piled in, arguing about something.

"I remembah you! Yeh Oli's bird" one of them called to me. He was the one who was waiting for the bathroom last week. Matty I think his name was.

"Not even close" I laughed.

"I fink he's got the hots for yeh" he joked, elbowing Oliver in the side.

"Oi, fuck off" he responded. "Don't listen to him" he said to me.

"If you're trying to get laid you could have just asked" I smirked. His face turned red and his friends started making fun of him as I went upstairs to find Tom.

We sat on his bed and showed some me stuff on his computer. He played me one of Oli's songs and honestly, it wasn't terrible. Tom and I got along pretty well. He laughed when I told him why his brother made me come here.

"Like he's such a fucking Saint" he had said.

I went back downstairs to have a smoke and saw that it was just Oli and Matty left. They both followed me outside to join.

"What do yeh want ta do today?" Oli said to me. I shrugged my shoulders. I wanted to go hang out with Jade and Kyle, but I knew he'd never let me.

"We can go to tha movies" Matty suggested. Oli and I both shrugged, not caring, so that's where we ended up.

Oli and Matty both tried to pay for my ticket but I wouldn't let them. We needed up seeing the Lego movie. It was kinda funny, but the two of them commenting on it throughout the whole movie was even funnier.

Finally, after the movie Oliver brought me back home. "Same time tomorrow?" He asked as I walked to the door.

"Unfortunately" I said back.

And just like he said, he picked me up Sunday afternoon to start day 2 of our week of 'fun'.

"How yeh feeling today" he asked me as we walked into the shopping mall.

"Just peachy" I said sarcastically. I had been taking the same anti-depressant medication everyday for four and a half years. Being off them was really starting to get to me. I felt too aware of everything going on and everyone we passed.

Being with Oli all day wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. He kept trying on clothes in Urban Outfitters, and at one point, he came out in white sequined pants. I laughed at that, and he gave me a soft smile.

He ended up buying a few things and then we were off to the next store. He did a little more shopping and it was close to closing time.

"Yeh wouldn't let meh get yeh anyfing, so how about we get a bite before I drop yeh off" he smirked.

I agreed, not really in the mood to argue, and soon we were sitting in a booth at a diner.

After much disagreement I paid my half of the bill and he drove me home. I felt weird. Like he and I could be actual friends again. The last couple of days were, surprisingly, enjoyable.


"I've got to pick Ivy up in an hour, we need to hurry this up" I told the guys. They were sitting around my living room, a couple guitars spread about, as we tried to figure out the music to match the lyrics.

"Yeh making her come her again?" Lee asked and I nodded.

"He's got a fing for her" Matty laughed.

"I don't have anyfing for anyone, just trying to keep her alive" I explained again.


When I got home from school, Parker was already there.

"Oli's my friend but if he touches you I'll kill him" he threatened.

"What are you talking about?" I asked but he had already gone into his room. I threw my backpack on my bed and went outside to wait.

He pulled up just as I finished my cigarette and started the 10 minute drive to his house.

"Yeh alright?" He asked, putting his hand on my thigh to stop it from bouncing up and down. Shit, Oliver. I didn't meet his eyes, careful not to let him know his action affected me at all

"Third day off anti-depressants. What do you think?" He nodded in understanding.

"Onleh four days left. Yeh doing great" he smiled, rubbing his thumb back and forth on my leg. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

When we got to his house, the guys from his band were joking around in the living room with Tom. Oliver introduced me to all of them.

"So yeh the bird Oli keeps talking about! S'about time you brought her to meet tha family" the smaller guy I now knew as Lee said, making me smirk.

"Told yeh she was a right fittie" Matt said and I blushed. God, what was happening to me?

I sat on the couch next to Tom while Bring Me The Horizon worked on some music. When they finally stopped goofing off long enough to get done what they needed, Matty spoke up.

"Yeh hold tha girl hostage so she can just sit around here all day? Let's go do somefing!"

"Where do yeh want to go Ivy?" Oli turned to me and I shrugged.