If You Could Love

“Hey man,” James greeted Paul as he came around the corner from the visitors locker room five weeks later.

“Hey,” he replied, giving him a one armed hug when he was closer. “I'm starving. The meal after the game in Dallas last night was terrible and breakfast this morning wasn't much better.”

“Then let's go; Alex said she would have lunch ready by the time we get to my place.”

Paul followed James out to his car and they talked hockey on the drive, careful to leave out details of their own teams since they were playing each other that night. James let them in the house and called out for Alex as he closed the door behind Paul.

Alex came out of the kitchen drying her hands on a dish towel and went straight for Paul, putting her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

“It is so good to see you again,” she gushed before kissing his cheek. “Seriously, I love Steven but you're by far my favorite of James’s friends.”

Paul laughed. “That's just because I'm American.”

“Maybe a little,” she grinned. “But also because you've always been incredibly nice to me, and you cooked for me whenever I visited James, and you're just a sweetheart.”

“You always did the dishes,” Paul recalled. “I appreciated that you always insisted on doing that even when I told you it was fine and you didn't have to.”

She hugged him again. “I was so mad you lost last season. James and I watched the series.”

“She cried,” James told him.

“Don't screw this up, Neal,” Paul told him, giving Alex's shoulder a squeeze. “You'll never find another girl like this.”

“I know.”

“Come on,” Alex said as she started forward. “Lunch is ready.”



Alex giggled as Paul teased James good naturedly after lunch. She enjoyed the way the two bantered and joked with each other. It was obvious they had become good friends during their time in Pittsburgh, and it reminded her a little of James’s friendship with Steven, but where their friendship tended to be more competitive, Paul and James had a big brother, little brother dynamic.

Alex started gathering their plates and Paul stood to help, taking the dishes away from her and heading into the kitchen.

“You do not have to do that,” Alex said, nudging Paul away from the sink with her hip.

“I cooked and you did dishes in Pittsburgh. I'm returning the favor.”

“No you're not. I'm not going to let you.”

“How are you going to stop me?”

“I don't have any idea. But you just aren't.”

Paul folded his arms across his chest and regarded her, her hands on her hips as she watched him. From the doorway, James laughed.

“I wouldn't argue with her if I were you,” he spoke up.

“At least let me dry the dishes,” Paul said to her as he picked up a dish towel.

“Fine,” she relented. “But after I'm driving you back to your hotel so you don't mess up your routine any more than you probably already have.”

Paul chuckled. “Shouldn't you want me to veer very far of course of my routines?”

“Maybe, but as I understand it, you're the only person who was telling James to be honest with himself and with me, so I figure I owe you, you know, for making sure this dude owned his truth and whatnot.”

Paul nodded. “On the way to the hotel I'll read you all the lovesick texts he sent me.”

“Hey!” James called out. “Not cool.”

“You should have listened to me the night she brought the goalie home for dinner and told her then. It's your own fault things blew up the way they did. Which I also told you it would do.”

“You also said I'd lose her forever if I let it go that far.”

“You almost did,” Alex spoke up.

“What?” James asked with surprise, his head swiveling around to look at her.

“I was so angry with you at Christmas that when I saw Pekka the next night, I swore I was never going to speak to you again. And then New Years happened.”

“The laundry room incident,” Paul said knowingly.

“You know about that too?” Alex asked.

“Oh yeah. He texted the next day. I think I owe you an apology from that conversation though.”

“Why?”

“James was resigned to losing and hadn't been out with anyone for ten months. I told him he needed a rebound one night stand and then to start dating if he was ever going to even try to get over you. I jokingly said maybe you'd get jealous. I didn't realize he was going to latch on to that part and actually lie to make you jealous.”

Alex laughed at the memory. “I saw red when he told me he had a date and then nonchalantly asked me to help him pick out something to wear. And I had no idea I could feel that jealous or territorial over him; I didn't have any idea who his date was but I was plotting to hide in the bushes and maim her.”

“You were?” James asked, his eyebrows raised.

“James, I had finally figured out that denying I had feelings for you was not going to work. I had no idea how to fix it, but I knew that I loved you, and that I had for awhile, but was just telling myself we were friends. Of course I wanted to kill any girl that might get the chance to have you for themselves.”

“I told you so by the way,” Paul said to him with a smirk.

“Huh?”

“I told you, the first time you told me that were in love with her, that you should tell her because maybe she had the same feelings you did but was denying them just like you were, because you were ‘just friends’,” he finished with air quotes.

“Kathryn has questioned me on more than one occasion,” Alex admitted. “And when I slept with you when you came back in September? Yeah, she called me out. I told her it was just something that happened that didn't mean anything but I knew that was a lie. And it was way more than friends with benefits too.”

“At least you two figured it out in the end. And you're happy. That's all that matters.”

James came up behind Alex and wrapped his arms around her. “We got it right eventually.”

“Eventually,” she agreed, turning to kiss his cheek. “Now either help with the dishes or get lost; I need to get Paul back to the hotel so he can tell me all about your lovesick texts.”



“John!” Alex squealed, running across the downtown Nashville hotel lobby and launching herself at the Islanders captain two days later. They were in the last week of games in the regular season and the playoffs were looming. “Hi! Oh my god, it's so good to see you!”

John laughed as he hugged her. “It's good to see you again too, Alex. Want to meet my teammates?”

“Yes!” She said as she slipped her arm through his as he led her away.

James grumbled to himself as he watched Alex lean into John and PK laughed, tossing an arm around James’s shoulder. “She keeps you on her toes, don't she?”

“She couldn't like Stammer best? I can compete with that but fucking Tavares? That's the dude girls take home to meet the parents.”

“Haven't you met Alex’s parents?”

“Yes.”

“Then what are you worried about?”

“She gets off to Tavares,” James complained. PK stopped and stared at him. “Aw, fuck,” James muttered. “Don't tell her I told you that.”

“She...to Tavares?” PK asked incredulously.

“I'm like ninety nine percent sure she was fucking with me when she told me that but you never know with her.”

“I'm going to try and forget you even ever told me that.”

“Good plan.”

They waited a few minutes while John introduced Alex to the guys he played with and she charmed them as only a girl born in the heart of Texas could. James rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically as she talked and laughed, still holding onto John's arm. She waved goodbye to them as John led her back to James and PK.

“Hey guys, good to see you,” John smiled.

“Are you done showing off my girlfriend?” James demanded, glaring daggers at him.

Alex snorted and began to laugh. “You're jealous of John.”

“I'm not jealous of Tavares.”

“That's a fucking lie,” PK said. “You just said you wished she liked Stamkos best.”

“Oh my god, James,” Alex told him, rolling her eyes. “You're such a brat.”

“I am not.”

She left John's side and moved to James, wrapping an arm around his middle. “Brat,” she whispered before kissing cheek. James pulled her against him possessively as John and PK laughed. They headed out of the hotel and to James's SUV and piled in, PK in front with James, John and Alex in the back. James watched them in the rearview mirror.

“It's good to see you two finally got together,” John commented, meeting James eye as they drove away from the hotel.

James’s brow furrowed and he looked away, focusing on traffic. PK chuckled.

“They thought they could hide it,” he told John. “Like we wouldn't notice James had a lovesick puppy look in his eye and was rushing out of home games and squirreling away in his room on road trips. Or more importantly that we wouldn't notice them both being a little more relaxed and a lot more tan after the bye week in February.”

“That was the giveaway, wasn't it?” Alex asked.

“James avoided Pekka for an entire week in January. I knew then,” PK answered her.

“You really dated Rinne?” John asked.

“He asked me out, and told me how he felt. Unlike someone else we know.”

James flushed before smiling broadly. “In my defense, everything I planned to say went right out the window finding you naked in my bedroom.”

“James!” She admonished him, slapping his arm. “You're such a jerk. You make it sound like I was lying in wait. You came home early and didn't tell me you were coming. I was only enjoying your bathtub.”

“Sure you were,” he winked.

“Anyway,” Alex started, rolling her eyes and turning to John, “yes, I dated Pekka and then James decided that would be a good time to declare his love for me. Oh, and kick me out of his house.”

“You kicked her out?” John asked incredulously.

“I didn't know how to fake being happy about her dating Peks anymore and I thought I was saving myself!”

“And?”

“And I was wrong,” James admitted. “I missed her more. It sucked. She moved back though, during the all star break.”

“Because you kept complaining about how small my place was and showed up unannounced with a moving truck,” Alex added.

“And because you missed my bath tub.”

“That is true.”

“Okay, so what happened after you moved out?” John asked her.

“Well, I stayed with Kathryn a few days and found an apartment I could afford and moved there and went about my life. Until Christmas.”

“What happened at Christmas?”

“James didn't know where I was living so he mailed a present to the shop. He bought me a bracelet and wrote me an incredibly sweet letter. Then I went to his house and yelled at him. And when I baked with Rebecca the next day, she called me out.”

“She did?” James asked with surprise. “I didn't know that.”

“Your sister and your brothers had bets on us getting together. And although she didn't outright say it, she thought I was making a mistake picking Pekka and not you.”

“So did Stammer and I,” John told them. “Well, I did anyway. Steven never thought James would figure it out.”

“Steven is an asshole,” James muttered. The others laughed.

“James wrote you a letter and?” John prompted Alex.

“And I started feeling more confused than ever but tried ignoring it. Then the team went on the road but James stayed behind and wanted me to help him pick out clothes for a date and I got jealous and we had another fight which ended with me breaking up with Pekka and dating this guy.”

“Probably you should've given me a chance instead,” PK smirked. “I'm definitely better looking than Nealer.”

“I will throw you out of this car,” James threatened him.

PK laughed. “Alex would never let you do that.”

“He's right,” Alex giggled. “But truthfully, I don't think I could ever keep up with you PK. You're so larger than life and I love that about you but I'm just a girl who bakes cakes.”

“What about me?” John asked.

“Hell no!” James said too loudly. “Don't even think about it, Tavares. I will lay you out tomorrow night on the ice.”

“James already knows what Alex likes best about you,” PK added, turning around and winking at her. Alex blushed. John looked between them confused.

“Don't listen to James,” Alex told PK. “And you don't listen to PK,” Alex said to John. “James is a moron. He's also jealous of you in case you didn't already figure it out.”

“He's the real deal. I'm just me.”

Alex smiled and reached over to squeeze his bicep. She heard James grind his teeth and she giggled. “I told him that I liked you the best last year and he can't stand it. So please, feel free to sweep me off my feet.”

“I would try but I'm pretty sure despite what you say, you're very happy with life exactly as it is right now.”

“You're a wise soul, John Tavares. And also extremely humble. That's what I love best about you. And that you're hot.”

James groaned. “Kill me now.”

“I think you're the hottest,” Alex said, leaning into the front seat to kiss his cheek. “That okay with you?” She asked as she settled back into her seat.

“Yeah, that's okay with me,” James grinned.

“So what happened with Pekka? Everything's okay?” John asked James curiously.

“After I avoided him for a week, Peks cornered me in the trainer's room, told me it would be okay and that I could stop not looking him in the eye. But we didn't want to flaunt our relationship so Alex only started waiting for me after games after the bye week in February.”

“So your friends?”

“My friendship with Pekka isn't exactly as it was before but it's as close as it's gonna be to that,” Alex said.

“And there's no locker room drama between us,” James added. “Peks made it clear that if I don't treat her right that he'd swoop in and steal her from me and I don't doubt he could do it so I treat her right. Well, at least she isn't complaining,” he smirked.

Alex blushed. “Hey, you picked him. You knew what you were getting into,” John said.

“Yes I did. Yes I did,” she smiled.



After a really nice lunch with PK and John, they had all gone back to James and Alex’s place to hang out for a few hours. PK had left his car there after practice and when he left around five, he took John back to his hotel. James and Alex had a quiet dinner at home together and after cleaning up, settled onto the couch together.

“Do you wanna finish Stranger Things?” James asked as Alex snuggled against his side. She had already watched it and after much convincing from her and some of his teammates, he was finally watching it himself.

She nodded. “Sure.” She slid a hand across his abs and let it settle in the middle of his chest. James laid his hand over hers and curled his fingers around hers. “Thanks for letting me flirt with John all night.”

“Like I had a choice,” James muttered.

“You always have a choice, it just won't stop me.”

“I think you like working me up into fits of jealousy.”

“Yes, I do rather enjoy that actually.”

He grabbed her suddenly and pulled her into his lap, tickling her. She shrieked, laughing as James deftly moved them to pin her under him.

“I love you, James Neal. So much.”

“Sorry it took me seven years to tell you.”

“Sorry I dated your goalie.”

James chuckled. “You're not sorry you dated Pekka.”

“I am,” she said indignantly. “A little,” she shrugged. “Because we fought.”

“Of course, just a little,” he teased. He leaned down to kiss her. “In the end you're mine and that's all I care about.”

“Same,” she smiled, pulling him back down into another kiss, drawing him in close with a leg around his waist.

“Let's take this upstairs,” James whispered against her lips. He sat up and helped her to her feet, walking her towards the stairs as they kissed. She pulled away when he stopped and took her shirt off, throwing it in his face before she hurried up the stairs with a giggle. She stopped at the top and wiggled, her breasts bouncing, her nipples puckered, a mix of cool air in the house and being turned on from James’s kiss.

He hissed out a breath as she turned and disappeared out of his view. He took the stairs two at a time and found her pants just outside his bedroom door. He leaned against it and looked at the woman standing in the middle of his room in only a simple pair of white cotton boy shorts.

“I love you, Alex. I hope I'll always be the person you need, because you're the one I need, that I always needed.”

She put her hands on her hips. “You can't be sentimental when I'm mostly naked.”

“I can do whatever I want, but if it makes you feel any better...” he started, taking off his own shirt and then his jeans. “I love you.”

Alex moved towards him and hugged herself to him. “I love you too.”