Leave This Blue Neighborhood

John was crying. Again. I was holding him, trying my best to give him comfort but it wasn’t working. I had to think of a way to help him, it hurt me so much when he was like this.

“Remember when we were kids and we would climb in the trees that were in my back yard?” I wanted to distract him. “We would try to see who could climb the highest. You always went the highest, though; I was usually too scared to climb as high as you”

John sniffles. “Um… y-yeah, I do. Why?”

“That was a nice time.” I ignore his question, just wanting to share the memory. “We were like 8 maybe? That was when we were just friends at the time. We were so happy.”

A smile sneaks on his face. “Yeah, it was nice… kind of crazy though isn’t it? That was like 10 years ago. So much has changed…” thinking too much about the end of his sentence, the smile fades from John’s face back to his gloomy expression.

I try to ignore his sadness, trying to fill the room with a happier atmosphere. “Yeah, you’re right. Like how we’re together now. It’s almost funny how long it took for us to realize how gay we were, and how gay we were for each other.”

John softly chuckled, I loved hearing that. “No it's funny how long it took for you to realize how gay we were. I knew hella early on.”

I laughed too, “Either way, it’s still cool thinking about how much we’ve changed.”
There was a silence that filled the room for a short period of time. We sat there for a little bit, John occasionally sniffling. He was still crying a little but he seemed much calmer compared to before.

“I miss being like that you know?” He looked up at me with a single tear in his eye. “Yeah we were naïve, but it was just so much simple back then. That was before mom died, before dad became a drunk, before I had to hide from everyone the way I feel about you.” He sighed, “I just this could all be much easier…” John slumps back down in my arms and looks away. “Talk more about when we were younger... before mom died. I like hearing you talk about it.”

“We used to ride our bikes to the beach all the time. That was always fun.”

John blinked and looked at me confused. “Alex, you don’t like the beach.”

“Well… yeah. But you do. You loved it when we were kids. You had such a good time. You’d always make me come in the water with you and repeatedly threaten to throw me in the water if I didn’t come join you. I never really believed your threats but I got in the water anyway. You were happier when I was with you.”

John smiles “I still am happier when you’re with me. I the happiest I can be when you’re by my side.” He looks back at me again, almost no trace of the tears that were in his eyes before.

John climbs on top of me, still smiling. “I’m also pretty happy when you’re under me too.”

I blushed before John leaned down and caught my lips in a kiss. He pushes his lips more against mine and slides his tongue into my mouth. He places a hand on my chest and another behind my neck. I slip my tongue into his mouth now, deepening the kiss. John slowly glides his hand down my body, coming closer and closer to my crotch.

We hear the bedroom door swing open abruptly. His dad is standing there with anger in his eyes. John flies off of me to the other side of the bed looking at his dad with fear in his eyes.

“Dad, please let me expl-“John puts his hands up in defense.

“What the fuck is this!? What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” His dad yells, face getting red with anger.

John was silent, too scared to speak.

“Mr. O’calla-“

“I didn’t ask you to talk! Actually, I don’t even want you in my house! Get the fuck out of here and don’t come back!”

I look at John scared to leave him alone with his dad but also scared to disobey him. He looks back and be and nods; letting me know it’ okay to leave. He looks terrified but I get off the bed and walk out of the room anyway. I look at John more time but he doesn’t look back; too scared to lift his eyes off the ground

I walk slowly through the house, still debating if leaving is is the right choice. I get to the front door when I begin to hear the yelling.

I stand there but I should leave, I really should. This is their argument and I should give them time to talk it out. I’ll just come tomorrow and check on him.

I go out the door and head over to my house; telling myself it’ll be okay, just come check on him tomorrow the whole walk home.