Personal Space
Say Cheese!
Crow and Tom gawked at this scene:
Joel, grimy and charred, kneeling next to an unknown man who was lying on the floor, seemingly asleep, wearing nothing but boxer-briefs.
There was a moment of silence given for, I guess, Joel's dignity (RIP) before Crow just couldn't take it anymore. With a huge snort, the golden beaked robot began to burst into laughter. Not too soon later did Servo's deep laughter joined him. Joel face palmed at the two immature bastards.
"Alright, alright, ha ha, funny stuff--now will you lend me a hand or two? This poor guy has some pretty bad burns!"
"In some pretty odd places?"
"Yeah, you'd know!" The two joked.
"Seriously guys!" No one had ever seen Joel this serious...or Joel SERIOUS for that matter.
"Woah, hey buddy...sorry." Servo said defensively.
"Yeah, didn't realize how bad it was I guess..."
"It's alright you two...But I really do need some help...I can't carry him on my own..."
After some time of hushing, eye-rolling, and toe-stepping, the three clumsy boys had carried the burn victim back to the living space and laid him on the control panel table in the center of the room.
"There...Now...Where's that aloe?" Joel said, checking both sides.
"Uh...Joel--I'm not 100% educated on the function of a human body because, you know, I'm a robot, but...shouldn't he be breathing?" Servo said putting his little glass bulb head to the man's mouth.
"What do you mean?" Joel asked from behind a cabinet door.
"He means that he is NOT breathing!" Crow joined, placing his hand on the man's chest and revealing how stationary it was.
Joel popped his fuzzy grimy head from behind the door, "WHAT!?" He exclaimed, dashing towards him. He placed an ear to his mouth. Nothing. No air...no noise...nothing.
"Aw, shit!" Joel crossed his hands, thanked his mom for making him take the CPR classes back in Swim Team, and pushed hard in intervals on the man's chest.
"Woah, Joel! He's already dead! No need to smash his ribs!" Crow said naively.
"No, no, no, Crow. Its called CPR."
"Oooohhh....huh?" Crow shrugged.
"Its where you attempt to restart someone's heart and respiratory system through pressure and extra air-flow!"
"....In.....English?" At this, Joel rolled his eyes.
"I'm slamming my hands on his heart to scare it into pumping and then I'm gonna puff air into his mouth to force him to breathe."
In unison, both bots exclaimed in revelation; "OOoooohhh!"
Joel nodded and prepared himself. What's worse than ripping off a stranger's clothes? Putting your mouth on his when he is totally naked...
At least the bots already made their fun. He filled his lungs with air and bent down to the man's face. Before doing anything else, he finally noticed this guy's actual face. He was very cute. He hadn't noticed before in the rush. Not to mention, he hadn't seen anyone but the middle-aged mustachio man and his white-haired chubby friend, so this eye candy was a sight for hungry eyes.
"Well are ya gonna kiss him, er?" Crow finally said, breaking Joel's thought.
"What? No! I'm gonna do mouth-to-mouth CPR."
"Oh, so that's what they call French Kissing these days..." Servo added. Again, Joel rolled his eyes and went towards the man's chapped lips. Just as he placed his lips on the other man's, the scientists called in.
~~~
"Well, Joel! Seems we have tamed the flames, no thanks to yooooeeeeghhhuuuuuuaooo--"
This noise Dr. F made was utter disgust at the sight of supposedly calling in on Joel's makeout session with his boyfriend.
"Whoops! Sorry! Bad time?"
~~~
Joel finally noticed that they were on screen and popped his head back up, blushing brightly.
"Huh? Oh, no, not really. I'm just doing CPR on the guy I found in the rubble of the loading deck."
~~~
"Oooh...so thats what they are calling French kissing these days, huh?...Well--Waitaminute! You went into the deck? You didn't happen to see any boxes labelled 'Gourmet Cheese' didja?"
~~~
"Actually, I did. There was a whole pile of 'em...I think he was the delivery guy but he crash landed on our loading deck."
~~~
"What makes you think that?"
~~~
"Well, when I found him, he was stuffed under a pile of those boxes you mentioned...He was also wearing a shirt that said 'Cheese Factory' on it."
~~~
"....And you stripped him down whyyy?"
~~~
"He was totally on fire--"
"Now Joel, just cuz someone strikes you as attractive doesn't give you the right to rip their clothes off and smother them in kisses!" Servo logic-ed.
~~~
"Yeah--yeah, I'm with Gumball-head! That's real sick, Joel!"
~~~
"Oh be quiet will ya? Lemme finish! His CLOTHES were on fire...LITERALLY and my fire extinguisher gave so I had to take 'em off."
"Uh-huh! That's what they all say!" Crow commented.
"No...its not..."
~~~
"Well--no matter! Where are the boxes now?" Dr. F sounded frantic.
~~~
"Oh, they caught flame and burned to a crisp."
~~~
"WHAT!??!?"
~~~
"Yeah, he fell into a puddle of flammable liquids and the whole pile went 'SWOOSH'...Gone like that!" Joel snapped his fingers nonchalantly.
~~~
Meanwhile, Dr. F was having an eye spazz attack. He looked very frustrated. "Now, Joey....Do you know what this means?"
~~~
"Um...You and Frank sent us a gift basket of Gourmet Cheese platters but they tragically burned away in the loading deck along with my dignity?"
~~~
"No you babbling idiot!! It means Frank and I will lose connection and your power will--"
~~~
PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww
....
Just then, the connection to the scientist was lost and all the lights shut off. It grew very quiet. The familiar whirr inside the walls of the fluctuating electricity, the light white noise sound that engines make--all stopped at once.
"Uh...Joel...Is now a bad time to need to pee?" Crow inquired.
"Oh brother..."
Joel, grimy and charred, kneeling next to an unknown man who was lying on the floor, seemingly asleep, wearing nothing but boxer-briefs.
There was a moment of silence given for, I guess, Joel's dignity (RIP) before Crow just couldn't take it anymore. With a huge snort, the golden beaked robot began to burst into laughter. Not too soon later did Servo's deep laughter joined him. Joel face palmed at the two immature bastards.
"Alright, alright, ha ha, funny stuff--now will you lend me a hand or two? This poor guy has some pretty bad burns!"
"In some pretty odd places?"
"Yeah, you'd know!" The two joked.
"Seriously guys!" No one had ever seen Joel this serious...or Joel SERIOUS for that matter.
"Woah, hey buddy...sorry." Servo said defensively.
"Yeah, didn't realize how bad it was I guess..."
"It's alright you two...But I really do need some help...I can't carry him on my own..."
After some time of hushing, eye-rolling, and toe-stepping, the three clumsy boys had carried the burn victim back to the living space and laid him on the control panel table in the center of the room.
"There...Now...Where's that aloe?" Joel said, checking both sides.
"Uh...Joel--I'm not 100% educated on the function of a human body because, you know, I'm a robot, but...shouldn't he be breathing?" Servo said putting his little glass bulb head to the man's mouth.
"What do you mean?" Joel asked from behind a cabinet door.
"He means that he is NOT breathing!" Crow joined, placing his hand on the man's chest and revealing how stationary it was.
Joel popped his fuzzy grimy head from behind the door, "WHAT!?" He exclaimed, dashing towards him. He placed an ear to his mouth. Nothing. No air...no noise...nothing.
"Aw, shit!" Joel crossed his hands, thanked his mom for making him take the CPR classes back in Swim Team, and pushed hard in intervals on the man's chest.
"Woah, Joel! He's already dead! No need to smash his ribs!" Crow said naively.
"No, no, no, Crow. Its called CPR."
"Oooohhh....huh?" Crow shrugged.
"Its where you attempt to restart someone's heart and respiratory system through pressure and extra air-flow!"
"....In.....English?" At this, Joel rolled his eyes.
"I'm slamming my hands on his heart to scare it into pumping and then I'm gonna puff air into his mouth to force him to breathe."
In unison, both bots exclaimed in revelation; "OOoooohhh!"
Joel nodded and prepared himself. What's worse than ripping off a stranger's clothes? Putting your mouth on his when he is totally naked...
At least the bots already made their fun. He filled his lungs with air and bent down to the man's face. Before doing anything else, he finally noticed this guy's actual face. He was very cute. He hadn't noticed before in the rush. Not to mention, he hadn't seen anyone but the middle-aged mustachio man and his white-haired chubby friend, so this eye candy was a sight for hungry eyes.
"Well are ya gonna kiss him, er?" Crow finally said, breaking Joel's thought.
"What? No! I'm gonna do mouth-to-mouth CPR."
"Oh, so that's what they call French Kissing these days..." Servo added. Again, Joel rolled his eyes and went towards the man's chapped lips. Just as he placed his lips on the other man's, the scientists called in.
~~~
"Well, Joel! Seems we have tamed the flames, no thanks to yooooeeeeghhhuuuuuuaooo--"
This noise Dr. F made was utter disgust at the sight of supposedly calling in on Joel's makeout session with his boyfriend.
"Whoops! Sorry! Bad time?"
~~~
Joel finally noticed that they were on screen and popped his head back up, blushing brightly.
"Huh? Oh, no, not really. I'm just doing CPR on the guy I found in the rubble of the loading deck."
~~~
"Oooh...so thats what they are calling French kissing these days, huh?...Well--Waitaminute! You went into the deck? You didn't happen to see any boxes labelled 'Gourmet Cheese' didja?"
~~~
"Actually, I did. There was a whole pile of 'em...I think he was the delivery guy but he crash landed on our loading deck."
~~~
"What makes you think that?"
~~~
"Well, when I found him, he was stuffed under a pile of those boxes you mentioned...He was also wearing a shirt that said 'Cheese Factory' on it."
~~~
"....And you stripped him down whyyy?"
~~~
"He was totally on fire--"
"Now Joel, just cuz someone strikes you as attractive doesn't give you the right to rip their clothes off and smother them in kisses!" Servo logic-ed.
~~~
"Yeah--yeah, I'm with Gumball-head! That's real sick, Joel!"
~~~
"Oh be quiet will ya? Lemme finish! His CLOTHES were on fire...LITERALLY and my fire extinguisher gave so I had to take 'em off."
"Uh-huh! That's what they all say!" Crow commented.
"No...its not..."
~~~
"Well--no matter! Where are the boxes now?" Dr. F sounded frantic.
~~~
"Oh, they caught flame and burned to a crisp."
~~~
"WHAT!??!?"
~~~
"Yeah, he fell into a puddle of flammable liquids and the whole pile went 'SWOOSH'...Gone like that!" Joel snapped his fingers nonchalantly.
~~~
Meanwhile, Dr. F was having an eye spazz attack. He looked very frustrated. "Now, Joey....Do you know what this means?"
~~~
"Um...You and Frank sent us a gift basket of Gourmet Cheese platters but they tragically burned away in the loading deck along with my dignity?"
~~~
"No you babbling idiot!! It means Frank and I will lose connection and your power will--"
~~~
PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww
....
Just then, the connection to the scientist was lost and all the lights shut off. It grew very quiet. The familiar whirr inside the walls of the fluctuating electricity, the light white noise sound that engines make--all stopped at once.
"Uh...Joel...Is now a bad time to need to pee?" Crow inquired.
"Oh brother..."