Personal Space

"Mike....Mike...Mike...."

An ominous echoey voice rang in Mike's ears as a blurry image of a terrifying witch-doctor-esque figure began to illuminate above him.

"Oh Mikey-pooo...." The long beaked face bent towards him in the fire-lit room. "Wakey-wakey..." Mike was petrified at this point by this whole situation. It doesn't get any scarier than this. One second, he's delivering Cheese to a location and the next he's stranded in space with creepy shadowy figures and an oddly effimenate man who titled his home 'The Satellite of Love'.

"Please...I've had enough--j-just kill me already..." Mike said, sprawling his arms out on the table he was now laying on. "I submit my body as the sacrifice to your creepy deities!" He sounded delusional and odd. Crow, the witch-doctor figure finally clarified to be, slowly backed away.

"Ooookay...Joel?" He turned towards the man in a red jumpsuit who had his back to Mike. "I think he's gone, er, y'know--"

"Cuckoo, loco, crazy, bonkers, mad?" Servo added frantically.

"Yeah, at least ONE of those." Crow replied. Joel chuckled and then finally turned around to Mike. He wasn't scary after all. Mike was expecting someone with a pervish face and a creeper stache, but instead, there was a squinty-eyed, sweet-faced man about his age but much shorter. He had curvy lips, slight dimples, a wrinkled forehead from his upturned puppy-like eyebrows and a straight little round nose. His hair, as I've mentioned quite a lot, was blonde and fluffy. Mike actually smiled a little, he couldn't help thinking this guy was ridiculously adorable.

"Now, Crow, I think he's just a little, y'know--" Joel began in his sweet voice, but Servo interrupted once more,

"Mentally deranged, lunatic, loopy, nutso?" Joel giggled again and rolled his eyes,

"No, what I mean to say is startled. He's not used to all of this guys so take it easy on him, wouldja?"

"Say, Joel, do you think he was sent here to purposefully crash land?" Crow asked, like an uninformed little kid to his father.

"Oh, no no no, Crow! The sirs would never try and torture other souls, they only have a black heart to one soul: mine. I don't think they'd cheat on me." Joel nodded, reassuringly. He leaned over to Mike and started buttoning his shirt. Mike looked down and saw that he was wearing a blue jumpsuit, like Joel's red one, with the tag that usually said 'GIZMONICS' on it ripped off. Joel turned away and then back to him, holding a pointed needle. The tip of the sharp needle glistened in the fire light of the oil lamp that Crow was holding. "Now, don't move, honey." Joel said, smiling. Mike thought, of course, that he was going to do something awful like sew up his mouth or pin needles in his arm and write his name in his flesh!...Okay, that was a little dark, but he was truly terrified! And the whole situation of the lights being out and the oil lamp leaving a scary shadow on Joel's face didn't aid in this.

"No...What are you gonna do?!" Mike said, covering his face. Joel let out a light chuckle and bent down towards him. He was covering his eyes so he couldn't see what Joel was doing, but felt him grab the left side of the jumpsuit shirt and pull it up slightly. Mike whimpered and held his breath. About a minute later, Joel let go and leaned back.

"There!" He said. "Open your eyes now!" Mike reluctantly let go of his face and looked down at the spot Joel was working on. A gentle smile stretched across his baby-like face,

"Hey, that's my name!" Mike said, grabbing the little patch on his shirt and lifting it. "That's so cool!" Where the 'GIZMONICS' patch used to be sewed to, there was a patch that said 'MIKE' sewed in its place. The bots and Joel smiled and high-fived each other.

"Oh, you know, we thought we'd give you a good ol' fashioned welcoming gift!" Joel assured.

"Yeah, y'know, something to make you feel more at home!" Crow added. Mike smiled and chuckled, still looking at the patch.

"Also, we figured you're probably stuck here forever, just like us, with no actual hope of ever really getting home, so you have to fit in, right boys?" Joel said nonchalantly. Mike's eye widened and he hopped a little in fright, sitting up on the table he was laying on.

"Stuck forever?!" He shouted. The bots and Joel nodded.

"Yep!" Crow said.

"Y'absolutley!" Was Servo's input.

"Indeed!" Joel started, "And we totally understand how distraught you must be, y'know, never seeing your family, friends or other familiar faces of ever Earth again, but hey! We got some cheesy movies that can cheer you up!" The bots all agreed as if this situation wasn't as bad as it really was.

"I don't wanna watch Cheesy movies! I wanna go home to my apartment and sit on my couch eating cereal watching stupid cop shows--" Mike admitted. The bots and Joel shook their heads as if Mike was a suffering mentally insane boy.

"I know, Mike. I know...But, it'll wear off in time!" Joel said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Mike peered down at his hand in resentment, "And we are all here to help you get through it."

"No!" He violently shoved Joel's hand off his shoulder, making Joel pretty upset and causing the bots to gasp like a bunch of teenage girls witnessing a breakup. Mike scrunched his fat baby face up in anger and tried shifting off the table. As soon as he placed his feet on the floor and stood, he collapsed in pain. Joel caught him before he hit the floor.

"Hey, hey, hey honey!" Joel shifted Mike to the table to lean on. "You haven't healed just yet." Mike thought they must have done something to him. He felt a sensation of pain in his chest and legs so he ripped open the buttoned jumpsuit to see what was there.

"OOo-hooo!" Crow wolf-whistled.

"Work it, Magic Mike!" The bots joked about his stripping. To Mike's horror, his body was wrapped up in white linen body wraps. Thankfully, they weren't bloody, but they were slightly blue.

"Wha-what happened?" He asked, gently touching the wraps.

"Oh, don't mind it. We fixed you up. You'll be as good as new in no time." Joel avoided the subject a bit.
Suddenly, a quiet clank came from above them.

"Joel...That was it again." Servo whispered. Everyone was looking up at the mysterious ceiling noises.

"I know..It's probably just the rafters or something. This ship's pretty old." Joel lied. The clank got louder and closer, followed by several bursts of steam-pipes around them and a faint female voice.

"That ain't no creaking old ship, Joel!" Crow scolded, "That's a witch! A Witch!" He sounded so sure.

"You jumped to conclusions too quick there..." Mike assured, "Joel's probably right. He knows more about this ship than any of us...right?" Joel swallowed hard, not trusting his own conclusions. The noise got louder...and louder...and then stopped.

CLANK!

An echoey clank of metal was now right above them. Everyone huddled, Servo cuddling Crow and Crow cuddling Mike and Mike trying to push Joel off of him. Silence again....

"NO!" A female voice yelled.

Silence....

Suddenly, the entire ceiling began creaking.

"Run." Joel demanded. The bots looked at him, following Mike.

"What!?" Mike said for everyone. The ceiling started to sink down towards them, letting off bolts and screws raining ontop of them.

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" Joel screamed again as the ceiling was almost an inch away from their heads. Everyone screamed and dove to opposite sides as the ceiling caved in, along with a gust of steam from the bursted pipes above.

Suddenly, a woman's voice came from in the rubble.
"We should've asked for health coverage..."