Breathe

I was sat at my desk, doing revision and listening to Nicki Minaj, when someone started to ring the doorbell incessantly. It interrupted me rapping the second verse in “Itty Bitty Piggy” and I was so close to perfecting the whole thing in one go. I grumbled as I tried to quickly get up and run to the door. It was either going to be Niall or Layla since they were the only two who insisted on ringing the doorbell like that.

“Took you long enough,” Layla said, as soon as I opened the door. I noticed the bags by her feet and remembered that earlier Liv had mentioned that Layla was planning on sleeping over tonight since she got into some fight with one of her suitemates.

“Nice to see you, too, Layla. Welcome,” I remarked sarcastically, closing the door behind her. She hauled her duffel bag, a bag of take-away, and her purse before dropping everything in the living room.  

“Gimme a hug,” she grinned, turning to look at me, and hugged me tightly.

I laughed, hugging her back. “Happy you’re here.”

“Happy to be here and glad to be away from that fucking pigsty of a suite,” she replied, pulling back. “Where’s the Livster?”

“She’s on a date.”

“On a date?” Layla asked, confused.

I nodded my head, picking up the bag of take-away, and taking it over to the kitchen. Layla followed after me. “Who is she on a date with?” she asked.

“Harry,” I replied, nonchalantly.

Layla looked shocked as I took out the Thai food she’d brought, my mouth watering at the smell. I snorted at her expression, and took out the plates while she stood there, still paralyzed from the news.

“You think this is funny?” she asked. “You can’t joke about stuff like that.”

“I’m not joking,” I cried with a frown as I opened up the food packets. “They’ve been dating--for a bit, I guess.”

Layla still looked taken aback. “How many have they been on?”

“This is their second.”

“And why is this happening?”

That made me stop serving the food and laugh for a few seconds before shrugging. “I don’t know. Like, Harry was semi interested. I mentioned it to Liv and she wasn’t for it at first, but then she decided to give it a shot.”

“Wow,” Layla remarked, leaning against the counter. “And why did no one tell me about this?”

“To be honest,” I started. “If there was anything good to tell, I’d have told you, but there isn’t. On their first date, neither of them had anything remotely interesting to say. And I have yet to hear anything about this one.”

Layla scoffed knowingly. “I think I have a good idea as to why neither of them had anything interesting to say about their date. I feel like it probably has a lot to do with the fact that they’re too good of friends to even date. Don’t you see how bizarre this is, or is it just me?”

“Are you saying friends can’t date?” I asked, handing Layla her plate, before starting to serve my own. “Because you know that’s just bullshit.”

“Of course friends can date, but friends who have good chemistry, like you and Harry.”

I let out a tired groan. “I honestly wish everyone would stop saying that because now it’s just starting to freak me out. I don’t know why everyone thinks Harry and I have this super romantic and sexy friendship. The guy has seen me at my ugliest and I’ve seen him at his worst. That’s not exactly screaming love. So, where the hell are you all basing this weird shit off of?”

“Are you sure?” Layla cocked her eyebrow. “You honestly can’t see it? It’s so obvious. You two are so comfortable with each other. You understand each other and you work well together. There’s something there. It may not be all there quite yet, but it could be and everyone can see that.”

“Too late now. He’s out with Liv.”

Layla looked at me for a long time until she sighed and nodded. “Fine. I’ll drop it now. But I’ll have fun saying I told you so when those two don’t work out.”

“I’m not here to make bets on whether or not they’ll work out or not. It’s up to them, but the other boys seem to share your opinion. They didn’t get it, either.”

“I mean as long as they don’t end up making it awkward when they do end it,” Layla replied, taking her plate, and walking to the dining table. We both sat down with our drinks, utensils and napkins and started eating. “Anyways, what else is up with you?”

“Not much. Did you have your interview for that newspaper company you were talking about?”

Layla shook her head, finishing chewing before replying. “Not yet. It’s later this week. I’m a bit nervous.”

“It’s a big one, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll get paid and it’ll be great on my resume if I can put in at least two terms. I need the money right now. You’re so lucky your mum gives you money to live on. My mum only pays for school and housing so far. The rest, which is like normal spending money, I have to get on my own.”

“My mum’s only allowing this until I graduate. After that she’s cutting me off cold turkey. Have to pay for rent and everything on my own.”

“Thought about any jobs or internships?”

“A few,” I nodded. “Will look into it during break so I can do it for next term possibly. My resume isn’t half bad. I looked at it the other day and it was decent from the few things I did while I was at King’s.”

“Oh, right. You did that one job for a website. That marketing thing, right?”

I nodded, taking a sip of my drink, before digging back into my food. We caught up on the other aspects of our lives. Layla told me about her suitemate masturbating in her bed every night even though other girls sleep there. After that, I told her about Liam’s porn star twin brother. Once dinner was done, I cleaned everything up while Layla went to go take a quick shower. As I was throwing out take-away bags and containers, the doorbell rang incessantly, again. I frowned because it could be only one other person since Layla was in the bathroom.  

I walked over to the door and opened it, jumping back and getting startled when all the boys walked in howling and cheering as if they were walking into a party house.

What was it with these boys and crashing sleepovers as if they were invited?

“What are you all doing here?” I asked, closing the door behind them. Niall made a dive for the couch and Louis and Zayn pig piled on top of him. They were all fighting for the remote while Liam stood beside me.

“We got bored and decided to come see you guys,” Liam said. “Mind if I use the bathroom? I need to wee.”

“Yeah, sure,” I nodded before walking over to the other boys, making sure they didn’t rip each other apart or summat.

I grabbed the remote from them and laughed as they all grumbled. I turned on the telly and flipped to a movie channel. They were showing Elf and the boys looked very pleased. “Isn’t it too early to be showing this?” I asked, putting the remote down on the coffee table.

“It’s never too early to watch Elf, B,” Louis admonished, cuddling up against Zayn.

That was extremely true because everyone knew Elf was the best movie ever made. I took a seat with the boys and we watched the movie in silence until we heard a loud shriek coming from the bathroom. All four of us lifted our heads up to look over to see what had happened. It was dead quiet for a few seconds, then Liam ran out of the hallway and back into the living room, his cheeks a bright shade of pink.

“What the hell just happened?” I asked.

“I walked in on Layla naked,” he mumbled.

“What?” I asked.

“What?” Niall repeated, eyebrows raised, and accusing.

“She was showering,” Liam explained timidly.  

“I know,” I said, trying hard not to laugh, as I looked at Liam. “Tell me you went to the other bathroom and not the one she was using.”

“I went to the one she was using,” Liam sulked, sinking down in his seat. “The door was unlocked, so I walked in, and she was drying herself off--.”

Liam couldn’t finish because Niall had launched himself at Liam, putting him in a headlock.  “You wipe that picture out of your mind or I swear to god, I’ll tell everyone about your weird collection.”

“What weird collection?” Louis and Zayn asked, interest piqued, their heads raised from where they were lying down.

Liam’s eyes widened, and he shook his head at Niall, pleading and begging. “I didn’t even mean to see her nude, mate. I swear.”

Niall glared at him for a few more minutes before letting him go and curling up beside him. He sighed heavily, like he’d just admitted the biggest defeat. “I know. I’m just jealous. Like, why couldn’t it be me?”

We all started laughing at that, while Liam hugged Niall and gave him a kiss on his head, trying to appease him. Five minutes later, Layla walked out and tried her best to look like she wasn’t fazed by what had just happened. She took a seat next to me, wearing her flannel pajama set, and looked over at Liam.

“This isn’t over,” she said to him, easily assuming he’d told everyone, which he had.

Liam for the most part looked terrified and confused.

“What do you mean?” Niall asked curiously.

“I mean that I’m going to get him back for seeing me stark naked,” she replied defiantly, crossing her arms and turning towards the telly.

“It was only for like ten seconds,” Liam told her, his brown eyes wide, and apologetic. “It’s okay. Like, I respect you, Layla. You’ve got a great body, but I still respect you.”

Louis and Zayn doubled over laughing at Liam being unable to explain himself. He sounded like an idiot. Instead of answering, Layla stared him down until Liam accepted defeat, and focused on the movie. We all watched, laughing at all the good parts, and there was a really nice, warm feeling to this. All of my friends sat around in my flat with the heater on high, making it nice and toasty inside, and watching one of the best holiday movies. I wished nothing more than for things to stay this way, because I’d learned over the past few years that nothing stayed the same and nothing lasted forever. Especially when it came to your life and the people in it.

It was best to always cherish the moments as they were happening because there will come a day when you look back and miss it. Nostalgia was real and it was out there. The last time I had something as special as a close knit group of friends like this was back in sixth form and I had really missed it. I wanted to hold on to this for as long as I could. It was hard to think that our friend group could just break and we’d all go our different ways when the time came. I really hoped we’d at least keep in touch, unlike my old friends from King’s.

It was when Buddy the Elf was eating spaghetti with his dad’s family that Layla decided she was hungry for a snack. “I’ll be right back,” she announced, standing up. “Anyone want anything?”

“We’ve got popcorn, can you make some?” I asked. She nodded and walked to the kitchen. Niall watched her go for a few seconds and then sat up, stretching.

“I think I’ll go help her,” he said, getting up and walking to the kitchen as well.

The rest of us all exchanged amused looks and returned to the movie, but at least fifteen minutes passed and they weren’t back. It was also awfully quiet in the kitchen, too. “You wanna go check what they’re up to?” Liam asked me, noticing the same.

I shrugged and laughed softly. “Is it safe?”

“The worst that you can walk in on is either them having sex on your kitchen floor or Layla murdering Niall with her bare hands.”

“Both seem very unpleasant,” I replied. “Couldn’t hurt, though, I guess.” I sat up and made my way over to the kitchen where I could hear Layla saying something to Niall.

“You don’t know anything about me,” she said. “You just want to get into my pants like every other boy.”

I stopped walking, clearly feeling my nosy side come out, and curious to hear what Niall had to say to that. I didn’t have to wait long because he replied right away.

“Oh, yeah?” Niall asked her. “I bet other guys don’t notice the little freckle by your eye or the different pouts you have depending on if you’re actually mad or faking being mad or the way you scratch your arms when you’re nervous or the way you look down whenever you blush and get so shy or the way--.”

“Stop,” Layla said, cutting him off. She didn’t sound mad or angry; she just sounded unexplainably soft and endeared.

I swiftly turned back around, not wanting to ruin whatever moment they were in and sat back down in my seat. The other three boys turned to look at me with curious expressions and I smiled.

“I’m not hungry,” I said.

I didn’t need to say anymore and they all sort of understood. A few minutes later, Niall and Layla walked back in. Niall looked way too smug and Layla had on her I’m keeping it cool face, which I’d learned to recognize sometime in our teen years back when she had her first boyfriend and didn’t want to make it seem like a big deal.

“Everything alright?” Louis asked, grabbing a handful of crisps that Niall handed him.

“Great,” Niall exclaimed.

“Peachy,” Layla nodded.

We all started to snicker and the lovebirds rolled their eyes, turning the attention back to the movie. It wasn’t until towards the end of the movie that I heard the flat door unlock and turned around to see Liv walking through. Harry was behind her, and they smiled, greeting us as they closed the door behind them and took off their coats.

“Lovely seeing you all here,” Liv said, making herself comfortable between Layla and I.

“We decided to come over because we were bored,” Liam said, giving Harry some space to sit beside him. It was a tight fit with all five boys sitting on a three seater, but somehow they made it work. Harry snuggled up with Liam and sighed contently when he saw what was on the telly. It was quiet, but I knew everyone in the room had the same question on their minds.

How was the date?

The two were acting just as nonchalant as the first time and it was weird. What did they even do when they went out? Something interesting must have happened.  

It was Layla who decided to ask. “So, how was the date?”

Liv smiled, totally calm. “It was good. We went to that new Chinese place.”

“Food was great,” Harry replied with a smile, just as cool.

“Oh,” Layla said. I could tell just from her expression that Layla knew all she was getting from them was what they ate for dinner and not a single thing more.

“I did bump into an old friend,” Liv said, grinning wider. “Do you guys remember me telling you about Aiden?”

“Aiden from secondary?” I asked her.

She nodded giddily. “He was at the restaurant. Leaving when we walked in and it was so nice seeing him again. We exchanged numbers to get in touch again. Can you believe that? I haven’t seen him in so many years. I didn’t think I ever would again. He’s not on Facebook or anything.”

“That’s so great,” Layla grinned. “I remember you telling us about him a few times. Weird how you just randomly bump into people like that.”

“Fate,” I said, decidedly. “It has to be fate.”

“I think so, too,” Layla nodded. “How does he look now? Last time you showed us a picture of you two, he had a baby face.”

“Okay, who is Aiden?” Niall asked, interrupting us.

“Liv’s ex-boyfriend from when she was, like, fourteen,” Layla replied.

“And he looked like a baby?” Louis asked.

The girls and I paused, unsure of how to answer. “He had a cherubic looking face. Like a baby,” Layla slowly replied.

“That’s gross,” Niall said.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded. “You dated a baby.”

Liv and Layla rolled their eyes because they were such boys. Liv promised us to give us the better details once they left so we finished the movie, instead. However, the boys switched on Home Alone right after, not making any moves to leave. Liv eventually got up to get changed and freshened up.

“Anyone want any more snacks?” I asked, getting up to get myself something to drink and to stretch a bit.

“Have you got any soda?” Niall asked.

“I think,” I replied. “Ice or no ice.”

“Ice,” he replied.

“Bring me one, too, please,” Louis asked with a smile.

I nodded, walking to the kitchen only to have Harry follow me in there. I smiled at him, noticing his outfit for the first time tonight. He was in a pair of his tightest black jeans with holes in them and a black button down shirt, however, the buttons were only half done leaving his chest exposed. He had a simple fedora resting on top of his curls and usually fedoras were despised, but surprisingly I found them to be really hot on Harry.  

“Damn, Styles,” I commented. He was leaning against the counter, facing me, as I grabbed cups. His lips curved into a smirk and he quirked an eyebrow in confusion. “You clean up real nice for dates, don’t you?”

Harry let out a surprised laugh and smacked his knee, while throwing his head back. “Shut up, Gallagher. You think I’m hot always.”

“Yeah,” I scoffed. “Sure, I do. Especially when you’re in your joggers with your dirtiest t-shirt and your hair isn’t even brushed. Mmm. So sexy.”

“Dirty clothes or not, I always look good,” he replied cockily.

I laughed, rolling my eyes, pouring the soda into the cups. “So, had a good night?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Not better than Liv’s though. She was buzzing after bumping into her friend.”

“Right,” I laughed. “She used to really like him. But then he moved and all this shit happened. Weird how they ran into each other.”

“Glad they did,” he said. “It made her very happy. He looked proper excited, too.”

After I’d finished serving the drinks, I turned to look at him. “So, a third date coming up or...?”

Harry looked at me for a moment, and then a smile broke out, and he just shrugged. “I dunno. We’ll see. Could I get a hug, though? You look so cute in those pajamas. I need a snuggle.”

I laughed and walked into his open arms, letting him engulf me in them. Hugging Harry always made me smile a little wider and my heart feel a little lighter. When I pulled back, he was smiling down at me and I smiled back.

“Nice cleavage,” I said quickly, poking his nipple through his open shirt, and then running away with a cackle before he could catch me. 



The boys left soon after Home Alone finished. Niall had fallen asleep halfway through the film and they practically carried him out like a baby. The girls and I cleaned up and sat down to talk about Liv’s reunion with Aiden. It was short, but she was glowing just by talking about him. Childhood sweethearts, they were, and Liv had always mentioned him from time to time.

“By the way,” Layla said after we’d closed off the Aiden topic. “I’m mad you didn’t tell me about you and Harry.”

Liv looked between the two of us and bit her lip. “Actually, about that.”

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“Well, I gave the dating thing a shot, B. And I don’t really feel any different.”

“You mean you don’t have feelings for him?”

She shook her head. “I tried. I really did, but I can’t very well force it, can I? And I don’t feel all that guilty because I think he’s on the same boat. It’s so platonic and all I keep thinking about is that all you guys should very well just be there with us. Like, it’s not even a date. It’s just odd and empty.”

“So, what now?” Layla asked, giving me a look, which I knew was her form of I told you so.

Liv shrugged, looking down at her nails. “I tell him it’s best if we just remain friends. It’s probably why I didn’t tell you, Layla. There is absolutely nothing to tell.”

Layla nodded, but then asked, “Did you ever kiss?”

“We literally only ever hugged goodbye,” Liv said. “It’s so weird. I feel like if we continue, it’ll be weird. And I don’t want to do it anymore.” She turned to me afterwards. “You’re not saying anything.”

I looked down at my fingers and chipped away some of the lavender nail polish I’d painted on. “Don’t know what to say. I mean it’s your decision.”

“You’re not mad, right?”

“Why would I be mad?” I asked her.

She sighed heavily. “No, I guess you don’t have a reason to be. I should probably tell him soon. Maybe on Monday.”

“The sooner the better,” Layla replied, nodding her head.