Breathe

The weather got particularly awful around mid January. There was too much snow and ice rain, making it difficult to get out of bed, let alone go to class and be an active individual in society. I was stupid enough to forget my mittens and hat one day at home when going to class and by the end of the day I was bedridden. So much so, that I had to ask for Liv’s help in fetching me meals, more tissues and meds. I felt bad for making her my personal nurse, despite her saying that she was happy to help because she was concerned about me.

On top of that, I’d missed so many of my classes that by the weekend when I was well enough to walk and do things on my own, I had to sit at home and do course work while everyone went to the latest party. So, that was that.

It was so weird being home alone on a Saturday night because I was so used to seeing everyone. Being left alone with nothing but my books while everyone was getting drunk and dancing was boring and depressing to say the least. I tried to liven it up in the flat by playing music and watching a movie while doing my work, but every once in awhile I’d stop and scroll through Instagram and see what everyone else was up to.

It looked fun from what I gathered. Louis was taking a lot of shots. Layla and Niall were making out in the corner of a room rather heatedly, again. And Liv was on top of a table dancing with Zoe. All in all, it was a typical weekend party and I was going to be bitter about missing it no matter what the situation was. It just sucked and I was mentally cursing the weather and my forgetfulness.

It occurred to me that there weren’t any updates from Harry since he hadn’t tweeted anything or put up a picture, but I did wonder what he was doing. Whether or not he was talking to a girl. Chances were high that he was, but I had no room to talk. The girls had all promised to be on lookout and let me know whether or not he was doing anything with any girl, but I’d adamantly told them not to because I was still pretending like it didn’t bother me. Besides, even if Harry did sneak off with someone, they wouldn't be able to notice since they were busy with their own things.

Generally speaking, it would be really off putting if he were to hook up with another girl because things had been weirdly flirty between us. Like, extra flirty and I had no idea how to take or handle it, other than flirting back. And it was hard to stop with Harry once you got started because he had a way with words and he was always so enthusiastic and eager about everything, that it just became addictive. Simple touches or brushes against skin felt like the most intimate ordeal. Words that we’d usually pass on to each other when we were joking suddenly became larger than what they used to be.

Suddenly, as if Harry could read my mind and knew I was thinking about him, my phone started to ring with his picture flashing on the screen. I bit my lip hard in excitement, quickly putting my movie on mute before answering.

“Hi,” I said, my voice seeming loud in my quiet room as opposed to the loud bass I could hear from the other end.

“Blairrrrrr,” Harry slurred out.

I giggled, looking down at my lap and playing with the fabric of my pants. “Yes, Harry. How are you? Had anything to drink?”

“A few things, yes,” he laughed. “But that’s not why I called.”

“Why did you call then?” I asked, smile wide and giddy because I got to hear his voice. Since I’d been sick, I hadn’t seen much of him except for that one night he came by to drop off soup, but I was sleeping and he hadn’t wanted to wake me.

“I called because…” Harry paused, letting the moment go on for too long. I almost thought he was done with the conversation and distracted by whatever, but I could hear him breathing still. And then when he spoke, it was a lot more somber and less slurred. “I called, I guess, because I miss you. Why aren’t you here again?”

I let out a breathy laugh, a bit taken aback by his blunt and honest reasoning. “I have work to do. Catching up on coursework since I was feeling poorly this past week. Remember?”

“Oh, right,” Harry mused. “I still miss you, though. It’s no fun without you here.”

“Well,” I started, wondering if what I was going to say next would be too obvious or not. “Why don’t you hang out with a cute girl?”

“You’re a cute girl and I want to hang out with you,” he said, without hesitation. “But you’re not here. And everyone’s just--it doesn’t matter. Can’t you come? Like, fuck school, you know. Fuck it.”

“I’m afraid not. I’m sorry,” I said, sadly.

“It’s okay,” he sighed, sadly. “Let me see you tomorrow. Can I see you tomorrow?”

“You can most definitely see me tomorrow,” I smiled.

“Alright,” Harry said happily. “I’m going to go now. See if I can get Ed to make me another drink. Bye, B.”

“Bye,” I said before hanging up.

I smiled down at the phone for a while after, just thinking about how nice it was that Harry noticed when I wasn’t around. That instead of hooking up with other girls, he wanted to be with me, and he thought to call up and see if I could come around. The smile on my face didn’t disappear for the rest of the night and I was much more content.



True to his word, Harry showed up the next day and he wasn’t alone. Everyone else decided to come along, too. I was happy that I finished all my coursework the day before because by evening, our flat was filled with all our friends and we were blasting the new Fall Out Boy album, thanks to Louis, and beers were being passed around one after another. Everyone was sitting around in the living room, some of us on the floor while others occupied the couches. I was sat between Harry and Layla on the floor with a few cushions to lean on, but as time went on, she kept inching closer and closer to Niall until she was basically sitting on his lap, while he whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

It was still strange seeing them together like this.  

The weird part was that even though we all knew it was coming, it still caught us by surprise, at least for me because I’d seen them bicker for months on end. Ever since the party when Niall kissed Layla, the two of them had been attached at the hip and going at it like rabbits. Harry said there wasn’t a day since the party that he hadn’t heard them having sex in his flat. They went to parties, but made out the entire time. I even once caught them half naked in Layla’s car before. And if they weren’t together, they were on the phone texting and talking.

Layla hadn’t told me whether they were official or not, but I knew that she never did anything half arsed. If she was going to be with Niall, she was going to be with him for real. I also knew that Niall wasn’t in it just for the sex. He properly fancied her and wanted more than just the physical stuff. It also seemed that they weren’t trying to hide it from anyone else given the fact that they were making out and practically dry humping each other right there. They were in love and they couldn’t hide it any longer, so, it was pretty wild.

Harry scoffed as he looked over at them, partially disgusting and partially fond. “Do you two ever give it a rest?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

The others snickered and the newfound love birds looked up with not so amused expressions. “It’s not like you guys aren’t ever getting it in. You’re all just jealous that I’m getting it on the reg,” Niall admonished.  

Zayn raised up his hand lazily. “I get it on the reg,” he offered to which Zoe widened her eyes and looked at us, her face bright pink.

“I’ve been getting it on the reg, too, with that girl from Phi Sig Delta,” Liam piped up. “But, she’s been flirting with Ed for ages so we might stop.”

“You talking about Natalie Murphy?” Louis asked, turning to give him a look.

Liam nodded and Louis started to fall over from laughing, his beer almost spilling from his bottle.

“I’ve slept with her before,” he wheezed out and then Liam started laughing. I frowned at the two, wondering what it was that they found so funny. It sounded gross, to be honest. I couldn’t imagine sleeping with the same guy that Layla or Liv hooked up with before. That’s just not done.

Liv was on the same boat as me and raised her eyebrow, questioningly. “Why is that funny?” she asked when Niall, Harry and Zayn started snickering, too.

“It’s funny because Liam and I always end up sleeping with the same girls,” Louis said, trying to keep calm. “It has happened so many times without us knowing and it’s weird. We don’t even plan it.”

“Sounds horrible, actually,” Liv shrugged, giving them a disapproving look.

“It does,” Niall agreed. “Anyways, you can sleep with these girls all you want, but you’re not actually with them.”

“So, does that mean you’re finally together? Like officially?” I asked him, causing everyone to stop talking and turn to the pair in question.

Layla started to blush and Niall almost looked bashful. The two of them turned to look at each other and had this silent conversation with their eyes, which, what the fuck? When did they get so close and endearing that they could have actual conversations with their eyes and without saying anything? They then turned to look back at us and smiled. “We are actually,” Niall nodded. “I asked her to be my girlfriend two days after we kissed.”

“He took me on the cutest date and I said yes,” Layla smiled, unable to tear her eyes away from Niall’s. He smiled at her before leaning forward and kissing her so sweetly that I wanted to pull my insides out and cry.

They were my otp.

Everyone cooed and awed, smiling at them as if we were watching them kiss after saying their vows. Harry was grinning beside me, his thigh pressed close against mine just how I liked it. He had his legs crossed and held his cold beer between his thighs, thumb rubbing over the tip. I literally could not tear my eyes off his hands and it seemed to be a problem. My mind kept drifting to the amazing things he could do with his fingers and this was hardly the environment I wanted to be in when getting horny at the thought of Harry Styles doing things to me.

“I’m happy for you guys, but the sex is driving me crazy,” he said then. Naturally, the only word I heard was sex and my eyes were trained on his cherry, red lips. “I know way too much about Niall’s sex life than I ever wanted to.”

He did it again. Sex.

“You have slept with girls in our flat and I have never complained,” Niall argued.

“Yeah, but that’s at night when I know you’re sleeping and at the other end of the flat. I don’t do it at all hours of the day when you’re doing something as simple as walking into the flat or eating cereal in the morning or taking a piss.”

“Once again,” Niall said, pointedly. “You’re just jealous.”

“Have you ever considered music?” Harry suggested, ignoring his jab like it hardly bothered him.

“Music during sex?” Liv laughed, looking at Harry. “You one of those guys, H?”

Harry smiled, shaking his head. And great, now I was thinking about Harry’s fingers, his sinful lips and sex music. Just fucking great. My imagination was running wild and I had no idea how to stop it now that it had started, much like most things with Harry. “I’ve never done it, but I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“It’s a bit distracting, isn’t it?” Liam asked.

“Why would you be distracted by music while you’re getting it on?” Louis asked him. “It’s supposed to set the mood.”

“What if it’s fun music, though?” Liam asked. “Something that you’d dance to?”

“You’re not supposed to listen to fucking Ke$ha or something when you’re having sex, Liam,” Louis said, massaging his temple like Liam was aggravating him to the point of a headache. “You’re supposed to put sexy songs on while having sex. No one is going to be able to fuck to Tick Tock.”

Liam thought for a long moment before shrugging and giving up because the concept was still lost on him. Zayn laughed at him, giving Liam an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder from behind where he was leaning against the couch. “We use music when we’re getting it on,” he informed us.

Zoe, once again, looked surprised and taken aback. Probably because her boyfriend was exposing more and more details about their sex life than she was willing to offer up.

“What kind of songs do you have in your sex mix?” Harry asked him, his body leaning in a little closer to me. He always did this thing where he liked to touch me in a way to let me know he was still there and thinking of me. As if he wasn’t already ruining my mind by filling it with thoughts of him and sex and music.

“Mostly, like, Drake,” Zayn answered.

“Yes, because nothing screams sexy like a good rap song,” Louis said sarcastically.

“He has good, sexy songs, too,” Zayn laughed. “I’ve also got a lot of Jhene Aiko, Nelly, etc.”

“And Zoe is into it?” Liam asked, looking at her.

Zoe shrugged then because now that it was out, she didn’t see a point in trying to hide anything else. “It doesn’t bother me. He’ll usually play those songs in his car or his room when we’re studying, too, so I really don’t have a choice but to listen. I enjoy it, too.”

“You fuck to the same songs you listen to on a daily basis?” Niall asked, laughing. “Isn’t that, like, a big no? It should be special songs?”

“Yeah, but I’m not going to be choosing all my favorite songs to have sex to. I choose the ones that fit the mood,” Zayn said.

“That’s true,” Liv said. “Like, what if you have sex with someone to your favorite band or your favorite songs and then one day you break up and you’re not together anymore. So, then you’re stuck with that memory to that song or band that you really liked. And now you can’t listen to it without thinking about that person, anymore. You basically fuck it up.”

“That’s so true,” Layla agreed. “You can’t have your favorite bands or artists playing when you’re hooking up with someone because you never know what might happen. You have to be careful with what memory you attach a song with.”

Liv nodded with fervency. “When I was in sixth form, I had a huge crush on this guy named Oliver and I went out with him a few times and dedicated Taylor Swift’s entire Fearless album to him, but then he cheated on me. And now I can’t listen to Fearless without thinking about Oliver and I hate it because that album is a masterpiece, you know?”

Everyone started to laugh at that, making Liv pout because she was actually serious. Louis sipped his beer then before saying, “I’m going to agree because I would never hook up with someone while listening to The Fray or The Script. No way in hell am I tarnishing those bands for myself.”

They all started nodding, spouting off their favorite artists, who they wouldn’t hook up with anyone while listening to. I watched in amusement, ready to tell them that I’d never hook up with anyone to The Bee Gee’s, mostly because their music was not sex music, when Harry turned his head and moved it right against my ear. His lips were cold and a bit wet from his beer, so, I instinctively curved into him, feeling shivers run down my spine.

“I’d make out to Kings of Leon with you,” he whispered before turning back to everyone and drinking his beer, so nonchalantly, as if he didn’t just make me freeze in my spot, completely paralyzed.

Kings of Leon was one of Harry’s favorite bands and my head felt light, just imaging what that would be like because their music had a way of being so sensual and hot. It was slow, yet so aggressive and sincere, just how Harry was when he kissed me. It almost made me want to climb on top of him and make his words come true.

On top of that, I didn’t even want to think of what it meant that he’d make out with me to his favorite band.



We’d somehow wandered over to Hyde Park after feeling stuffy and bored at home. The beers were all finished and we were all sufficiently drunk for absolutely no reason, ready to do something random and stupid. It was Louis’ idea to go, since he was the mastermind behind all the stupid antics we pulled, and we had all agreed. Fresh air sounded good, so, everyone grabbed their coats and walked over to the park, despite it being dark and cold outside.

And just like every other time we were drunk, Harry and I were magnetically drawn to each other, giggling and flirting the entire way. His hand was wrapped around my waist and he was adamant about keeping it there the entire walk over. At times I wondered how blatantly obvious yet stubborn we were both being because this didn’t feel like platonic behavior. Not with the way I wanted Harry to mean every flirty thing he said to me or the way I wanted his hand to keep inching closer and closer to my bum.

“Aren’t you cold?” I asked him, eyeing his black, leather jacket. It was unzipped and his thin, white t-shirt was barely covering his tattoos, let alone him. He still looked warmer than a freshly lit chimney and I wanted to cuddle up to him all the time.

Harry shook his head, wrapping his other hand around me so I was caged in. “I’m fine,” he said. “You can keep me warm, right?”

I smiled at him, feeling a blush rise to my cheeks. I knew Harry meant that he wanted me to be close to him, too. To touch him so that my body warmed his and just the thought of touching Harry set offt a flurry of sparks inside of me. To distract myself from making a complete fool of myself, I watched my friends. I could see Louis on his skateboard, showing Zayn and Liam some trick a few feet away, while Liv, Layla, Zoe and Niall were by the swings.

Harry made a soft noise, trying to pry my attention back to him. I turned back to him, our green eyes locking instantly and intensely. “C’mere,” he said, smiling and pulling me into a hug. I went easily, of course I did, letting myself sink into the hug. Harry was warm and soft and I wanted him to hold me for as long as possible because it just felt that good.

It seemed Harry was on board with that because he held on to me just as tight, unwilling to let go as he we slowly swayed our bodies from side to side. It felt right and so, so good, I almost didn’t realize that time was ticking by and we were standing there, still hugging. I gave him a squeeze before giggling, “Harry.”

“Your hugs always feel so good,” he mumbled deeply, holding on a bit more while nuzzling his face in my neck. “And you always smell so good.”

I preened under his compliments, tucking my face against his chest and inhaling his signature smell. After a moment or so, we reluctantly let go, only to smile and step back away from each other. I let my hands hang uselessly at my sides while staring at Harry, who was just as intent on looking back.

“Okay,” he said, quickly rushing forward towards me again. “One more.”

I didn’t give myself a second to think it over, instead moving in and hugging him again. The two of us laughed as we continued to hold each other and just stayed like that, content and happy in our own world. It wasn’t until we noticed Niall staring at us from the swings a few feet away that we became aware of the fact that everyone was still there in plain sight. He looked rather confused and a bit smug.

“Are you two sure you’re not dating?” he asked, smirking.

Harry and I scoffed at the same time, more amused than anything as we reluctantly let go of each other again. It was unfortunate and I wanted to hug him forever. Instead, I looked at Niall and rolled my eyes. “We’re not dating, Niall.”

I casually avoided looking over at Harry, afraid I might literally fall back into his arms and instead opted to run over to the swings and steal the last one. 



“Oh, hi, Harry,” I heard Liv say from the front door. My ears perked up in interest at the sound of his name and I sat up on my bed, my books and notes completely forgotten.

“Hey, Livvy,” Harry said, greeting her with his signature nickname for her. “Mind if I hang here for a while? I’ve got nowhere else to go.”

I heard Liv laugh before saying, “Of course, that’s fine. Come on in.”

I grinned excitedly and scrambled out of my bedroom before schooling my expression to something much more calm and strolling into the living room where Harry and Liv were about to sit down. Harry had his school books with him and glanced up at me when I walked in. “Oh, hey,” he smiled before sitting down on the couch.

“Hi,” I replied walking over and sitting next to him. “What brings you here?”

“Well, Niall and Layla are at it again at the flat,” he explained, his eyes widening as though they had seen things that he was never going to be able to forget. “I couldn’t concentrate on anything with all the sex going on and I have so much revision to do, so then I tried going over next door the boys’, but Louis is in class, Zayn is hanging out with Zoe, and Liam is at the frat house. So, their flat was locked up and I had no way of getting in. Figured this was the next best option.”

“That sucks,” Liv said from her spot on the floor where she was sitting with all her books out and open on the coffee table. “Well, you can work here. It’s what B and I were doing, anyway. Or attempting to, at least.”

“A lot on your mind, Livvy?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

She shrugged, noncommittally. It didn’t take a genius to figure out how much of a slump Liv had been in lately. Ever since she kissed that Katie girl, she was always deep in thought and I wondered just how much she was affected by it. There had to be something she wasn’t openly telling me, like underlying feelings for girls and not something that she felt in the moment. Even if it was a girl and she liked the kiss, it shouldn’t be causing her to be so stressed about it. Kisses were nice whether it was from a boy or a girl, so maybe there was something else she wasn’t telling me. I had tried to ask her, but she kept putting it off and avoided the topic altogether no matter how much I tried.

“What’s wrong?” Harry prodded. “You can talk to us.”

I nodded my head in agreement and Liv looked at the two of us from her spot on the floor. “I texted Aiden.”

“You did?” I asked her warily. She nodded her head slowly. Why was she texting him when she was thinking about girls and kissing? I smiled at her encouragingly, anyhow. “You didn’t tell me. What did you say?”

“Just hey,” she replied with another shrug. “We talked for a long time after that and I stopped responding a while ago, but it was good. We have so many things to talk about and it seemed endless via text, so then he asked me for dinner to catch up properly.”

“That’s great,” Harry smiled. “You can hang out with him and you guys can reconnect.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “It’d be nice. Like, you know how they say that everything happens for a reason? When I saw Aiden after all these years, all I could think was that this was meant to be, you know?”

“Totally, Liv,” I said. “You used to like him so much. Like proper fancied your pants off. Maybe this is a second chance at the one that got away.”

“What a line,” Harry commended, grinning at me. I smiled at him smugly, only then realizing that he’d slipped an arm over the couch behind me and I never even noticed. It only made me want to scoot closer and make the space between us disappear. His finger simply grazing my shoulder was enough to make me shiver and it was so embarrassing how much he affected me.

“Thanks. I try,” I said to him, hoping I sounded cooler than I felt.

Harry chuckled beside me before turning back to Liv, who was eyeing us knowingly. “I agree with Blair. However, this doesn’t explain why you’re upset?”

“I’m not upset. I’m just--nervous,” Liv replied.

I narrowed my eyes in on Liv and realized she was lying. Not a lot of people knew Liv’s lying face, but I did. And she was making it right now. Her eyes were a lot wider and her lips puckered exaggeratedly. It surprised me that not many people caught on. And then it dawned on me that Liv was probably not willing to share whatever it was that was bothering her in front of Harry. If she really was suffering from a sexuality crisis, then she probably wouldn’t want to talk about it in front of everyone.

It made me a bit sad that I wasn’t able to help her more. If only she would just open up because there was absolutely nothing wrong with liking to kiss girls. She didn’t have to feel as trapped as she seemed to feel. Lying and making excuses when everyone could clearly see she was upset was so unlike her.

I decided to let it go and maybe leave Liv with her thoughts for now. I was going to come back to it later when we were alone and see if she would open up then. For now, it was best to not have Harry prod at her anymore.  

“Want to go watch some How I Met Your Mother?” I asked him.

Harry turned to me and then to the books in his bag. He looked conflicted and legitimately stressed out over the fact that he had to choose, which caused me to laugh. I got up off my seat and extended my hand to him. He obviously took it and followed me like it didn’t take much to make up his mind after that. It made me feel way better than it should have, but no one had to know that.  

“I thought we were all going to study,” he said, once we were alone in my room.

I shrugged, letting go of his hand and sitting down on my bed. Harry looked at me carefully for a moment before smirking. “You just wanted to get me alone, didn’t you?”

I rolled my eyes at that, partially because he was right, but Icertainly wasn’t going to admit to that. I turned away from him and got comfortable on my bed with my legs pulled up. “I have no idea what you’re on about,” I said eventually. “I just wanted to watch some Netflix.”

Harry laughed before lunging for my bed and covering me up with his body. I let out a startled shriek before bursting into laughter. “Oh my god,” I breathed out. “Are you fucking crazy? I could have died.”

“Highly doubt you would have died,” he mumbled before lifting his head up to meet my eyes and then placing a kiss on my chin. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Yeah and you just wanted a cuddle, didn’t you?” I asked, raising an eyebrow, feeling hot from head to toe.

“It’s exactly what I wanted,” he laughed before situating himself so he was laying on his side beside me with his arms around me. I put the laptop over my lap and turned on the next episode of the show. It didn’t occur to me until another two episodes later that Harry and I started this show with the laptop sitting between us, a big amount of distance between us. And now we were halfway done with the show and he was perfectly aligned with me, bodies pressed close.



Since Zayn’s birthday was on a school day, the boys decided to have a low key party for him at his flat later on in the weekend. They only invited a few close friends and the setup was a combined effort. It didn’t take much since everyone pitched in and helped out, so we were done relatively fast and with plenty of time to pre-game.

I was making drinks with Zoe and Zayn in the living room while Niall and Ed were making nachos and fajitas in the kitchen. The rest of the group was sprawled around the living room, laughing and joking about one thing or another. It seemed it was getting too dull because Louis pulled his laptop out and they started thinking of fun party games to play when everyone got there.

“What about truth or dare?” Layla asked. “That’s always fun.”

“I, for one, am a great fan of that game,” Niall exclaimed, laughing when he heard her suggestion.

Layla preened while Louis rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll Google some unique truth or dare questions.” After looking through the list, he looked up at Liam. “Alright, Li, truth or dare?”

Liam frowned in confusion. “We’re playing right now?” he asked, wary and scared. He should be. Louis was ruthless at this game.  

Louis nodded briskly. “Might as well. The drinks aren’t ready yet and I’m bored.”

“Fine, truth, then,” Liam replied, eyeing Louis suspiciously.

“Boring,” Louis rolled his eyes again. “Okay. If you were locked in a room with only one person in this flat, who would you choose and why?”

Liam bit his lip, scanning everyone sitting around him before his eyes stopped at Liv. He grinned cheekily before nudging her on the shoulder. “Liv because she’s smart enough to figure out a way to get us out of there.”

“Thank you, Liam,” Liv giggled, patting him on the arm, affectionately.

“Alright, Liv,” Louis continued, looking at her. “Your turn. Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” she picked confidently.

Louis made a face at her choice, but asked nonetheless. “What was the lowest grade you’ve ever received in school and for what subject?”

“I think I know the answer to this one,” Layla said, turning to Liv, who had her lips pursed and expression thoughtful. “Was it English with Messerli because you always complained about it?”

“No,” Liv shook her head, sadly. “It was P.E. in year nine. I got a 53 percent.”

“How do you get a 53 percent in that?” Louis asked, shocked and confused. “It’s like recreation and basically a free period.”

“I know,” Liv groaned. “But we did square dancing that year and I hated my partner because he was gross, so, I never cooperated. Anyways, it was a dark time in my life. I’d rather we not discuss this because that felt like the end of the world.”

Louis barked out a laugh before looking back at his screen. “Fine, then. Does anyone actually have the balls to do a dare?”

“We’re all sober,” Liam reminded him, crossing his legs and resting them over the coffee table. “No one in their right minds is going to choose dare when they’re sober and you’re the one doing the daring.”

“I resent that,” Louis frowned, actually looking offended. “Come on. No one?”

Harry bit his lip, considering the offer before looking at him. “Fine, I’ll do a dare.”

Louis threw a fist in the air in rejoice and scanned the list in front of him. After what seemed like a long time, but was only two minutes, he looked up at Harry, who was waiting patiently, and then everyone in the flat. A slow, cheeky grin formed on his lips and he said, “I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in this room.”

Everyone started to laugh and watch as Harry shook his head with a smile. “Give me a different dare,” he said.

“Why? You too scared, Styles? Plenty of pretty girls in this room,” he reminded him.

Harry nodded, looking over at Liv and Layla, who were sitting across from him. They both laughed and it was almost too funny and not so funny at once. I had no idea what everyone was thinking because my mind was on a constant loop of hoping Harry would kiss me and then scared that he wouldn’t and I’d be jealous of my own girl friends. The thought of it was enough for me to take the drinks I made and go to the kitchen.  

It was silly, I knew that, but I didn’t know what else to do. Harry didn’t even look over at me and everyone was laughing out there, which I didn’t think I could do.

When I stepped into the kitchen, I saw Ed was done making the chicken for the fajitas and was now rolling them. “They playing truth or dare out there?” he asked, rolling a fajita and placing it on a platter.

I nodded my head slowly. “Harry’s going to kiss the prettiest girl in the room.”

Ed hummed in response. And then Niall decided that it would be a good idea to take a bite of the piping hot fajita. It almost happened in slow motion, even though he bit into it super fast and big, and before we knew it, he was screaming.

“It’s hot,” he cried, mouth full of fajita, opening and closing it like a fish. “Fuck.”

I started laughing hysterically with Ed, who was bent over, not bothering to help Niall get any water to help him swallow it down. Niall was standing there, fanning his own mouth while his face turned ten shades of pink. I continued to laugh until I noticed Harry standing at the doorway, staring at me. I giggled, walking over and pointing towards Niall.

“You just missed the best thing,” I said. “Niall just took a bite of fajita and it burned his mouth.” Harry chuckled softly, looking over at Niall, who was still trying to swallow down whatever cheese and meat was still left in his mouth. Then he looked back down at me and I suddenly remembered.

The dare.

Kiss the prettiest person in the room.

Before I could form another coherent thought, Harry leaned in closer. “I’m going to do something right now,” he said to me. “And please don’t freak out, okay?”

I could only nod my head once before Harry cupped my face in his hands and pressed his lips against mine. I was immediately on board, fisting his t-shirt in my hands and pulling him in closer. It wasn’t anything like the night we’d first kissed where we were slow and then hungry for more. This one was a lot more chaste, closed mouths and dry lips just brushing against each other in tentative kisses.

Not only that, but this one was in front of all of our friends. They were all standing or sitting there watching us. It didn’t matter, though. Nothing mattered at that point other than how soft Harry’s lips felt and how strong his hands were.

“Oh my god,” Niall muttered beside us.

That was followed by Louis screaming, “Fucking get in, mate!”



Kissing Harry for the second time seemed to have awakened something within me.

It made my feelings so much more clear to myself and I couldn’t ignore or push them away like I usually did. I couldn’t ignore the way my heartbeat would get louder whenever Harry was near him or the fact that I never wanted it to stop. I couldn’t forget the way his lips felt on mine and how I wanted them to stay there. And that was the thing. I wanted him to kiss me, even though I could barely say it out loud. I wanted him to put his hand on me and bring me close and just kiss me.

It didn’t matter if it was on my cheek, lips, neck, or shoulder. My skin just felt lacking without his lips on them and that worried me.

Especially when I had to sit there and watch him flirt with some girl from Phi Sig Delta.

Someone had told Liam it would be okay to invite Natalie Murphy because he wanted to get laid that night and she decided to bring a few of her friends. So, I couldn’t ignore Harry and the beautiful brunette he was talking to while they sat close next to each other on the couch. Mostly because there were hardly many people there. The guys from the frat came and so did a few of Zayn’s art friends, but they were getting high in the corner, so they hardly counted.

The most logical solution for me seemed to be hiding out in the kitchen and getting drunk. I hadn’t drank to the point of inebriation in a while, so it felt great. I had Ed and Niall refill my cup continuously throughout the night until they finally put a stop it. And that was so depressing because they were the ones that drank the most. I wasn’t even that drunk. Nevertheless, once they denied me, I couldn’t hide there any longer and had to walk out to the living room again. I pouted my way over to a chair and sat down where Harry and the girl were in plain sight.

I could have sat somewhere else. I could have hid some more, but I wanted to see him.

It was like I wanted to be some sort of masochist and torture myself. If only Niall and Ed hadn’t put a stop to the drinking because I could use, like, just one more. I wanted to drink and forget about the fact that Harry was there and not kissing me. And it had occurred to me that I could just go up to him and casually do it like he’d done it to me a mere three hours ago, but I was too scared. And I wasn’t sure if I was scared of rejection or the fact that he was my friend and I valued him more than most.

I almost wished I could tell him how I felt because even though it was hard for me to accept or make sense of it, I still wanted him to know. He would know what to do. He always did.



I had stumbled on home with the help of Liv and Louis at the end of the night. The two of them deemed me unable to walk on my own since I could hardly stand up on my own and Liv needed help carrying me. I was a bit sloppy, rambling on about one thing or another as they carried me out of the flat. It did make me feel a bit better that Harry had looked at me in concern right before I left.

After Niall and Ed put a stop to my drinking, I had went out with Zayn and Louis to smoke a few joints, instead. Mostly because I didn’t want to stand there and watch Harry take shots with that girl. Harry did try and talk to me for a while, but I kept pushing him off and away to that girl and he eventually did go, even though it was the opposite of what I wanted him to do.

When we reached our flat, Liv deposited me on my bed and made sure I took my shoes off, changed, and drank some water before getting into bed. The only problem was that I wasn’t quite sleepy yet and she was already off to bed. I slipped my phone out from purse, and without thinking, opened up a text with Harry.