Breathe

I stretched out my bare legs in front of me while leaning back on my palms, making sure my navy blue dress was covering my knickers and all. Harry sat beside me, pulling off his boots and settling in on the blanket we laid over the grass. “I have to say,” I told him, looking around the vast park area where several people were sitting down like us and looking up at the giant projector set up in the center. “This is quite the idea you had.”

“Isn’t it?” Harry said smugly. “As soon as I heard about it, I knew I had to bring you. Helps that the weather turned out as well as it is, too.”

“You knew you had to bring me? When was this? Before or after we became a couple?”

“Definitely before. I saw flyers around campus from ages ago.”

“So, you would have brought me here and stealth dated me the entire time had we not had that talk and I would have gone along with it, completely oblivious to everything?”

“Probably, yeah,” he laughed, cockily.

“You’re shady,” I accused.

“You would have loved it,” he retorted.

I smiled to myself, mostly because Harry was right, turning away from him to look at the people coming into the park and settling in for the movie. It was a big outdoor screening of some movie Harry hadn’t told me the name of yet and it was essentially the second part of our first date. The first part had been dinner at a Thai restaurant in Soho. After dinner, Harry brought me to Hyde Park with a bag of what I could only assume was dessert that he picked up from ASDA on the way, but wouldn’t let me see. I stood outside like a moron while he tried to keep up the element of surprise.

He was such a loser.

Nonetheless, It had been really fun and exciting so far. After we’d made things official, Harry asked me on a date right away and I agreed, of course. We were super good the days leading up to the date, not really meeting up like we usually did and giving each other space to have a proper, real start as boyfriend and girlfriend. It was hard because we’d text all the time and tell each other how much we liked each other or all the things we wanted to do together and it made me miss him a lot. Every night after we’d finished talking, whether on the phone or through messaging, I’d lie in my bed and wish Harry was with me and not a ten minute walk away. I’d fall asleep replaying the words he said to me and the things we laughed at, or the way Harry looked when he walked me to my class, hair up in a quiff or pulled back in a beanie with cold, chapped lips and bright, green eyes.

“So, what are we watching?” I asked, probably for the tenth time that night.

“They’re going to be screening Dirty Dancing,” Harry replied at last, having been watching the crowd like me as well.

“You’re kidding,” I said, turning to look at him with wide eyes and a surprised, yet thrilled expression on my face. “I fucking love that movie. My sister, Leah, loves it, too. She made me watch it with her all the time as kids.”

“Same with me and Gemma,” Harry said, scooting back and leaning against the tree that was behind us. “Next week they’re going to be showing Titanic and you can bet on everything that we’ll be here for that.”

“Oh, I’ve forgotten that that’s one of your favorites,” I said, giggling. “You’re a ridiculous sap, honestly.”

Harry looked at me with a bored expression. “And you’re still pretending like you hate it when you really love it,” he said flatly.

“And you’re an arsehole.”

“Keep that up and I’m going to bring Liam on the date next week instead of you, so you’ll miss out.”

I cocked my head to the side, watching him with narrowed, challenging eyes. “Was that a threat?” I asked. He shrugged, looking smug and stupid and very sexy with his stupid fluffy hair and pink, pink lips. “Well, I mean, I don’t want to miss Titanic. I’ll just ask someone else then.”

“Right,” Harry scoffed. “Like who?”

“Like Kyle Baker.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Harry grumbled while I cackled obnoxiously. He took out whatever was in the ASDA bag and my eyes widened in delight when I saw it was mini ice cream containers. He placed them on his lap and looked over at me haughtily. “I bought this for you. S’ your favorite, cinnamon buns, but I don’t know if I want to give it to you.”

“Seriously?” I asked almost laughing out loud. “You’re not going to share?”

“Actually,” he said, letting the word drag out longer than necessary. “It was all yours. I got my own. Chunky Monkey.”

“You would get Chunky Monkey, you weird banana loving...weirdo.”

“First of all,” he said defensively. “Bananas are amazing and nutritious, not weird. Second of all, this is not helping your case. I’m about to eat both.”

“Yeah, but then you’ll feel poorly.” Harry shrugged at me like that didn’t bother him and I groaned softly before shifting closer to him and looking up at him through my eyelashes, trying to look as cute as I possibly could. “C’mon, you know you want to give it to me.”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged like he wasn’t sure. “Do I want to give it to you?”

I didn’t miss his suggestive tone or the glint in his eyes. It just reminded me that no matter what we were talking about, the banter was always going to be like this; quick, funny and definitely dirty. I nodded enthusiastically at him before placing myself on his lap and catching him by surprise. “You do,” I said, trying to sound as convincing as I possibly could, my voice sweet like thick honey. “Because you liiike me.”

Harry fought the smile that was tugging the corners of his lips up, but his dimples gave him away and I giggled before leaning down to press a soft kiss against his lips. He kissed me back, our lips brushing softly against each other while his hands came up to rest on my hips and pull me closer. It turned into something quick, dirty and deep within seconds, which I mostly blamed on us not having done anything past quick kisses since before my talk with Liv and that had been more than two weeks ago. We had needs and it was showing. I pulled away from him with a smile and noticed him watching me in a way I couldn’t quite place.

It was so tender and bright and warm at the same time that it made my stomach turn in a pleasant way and my heart beat a little faster as one of his hands came up to cup my face. Harry’s thumb brushed over my cheekbones and he just kept looking at me with that look in his eyes for so long that I started to blush and feel warm under his touch.

“Why are you looking looking at me like that?” I asked him, not being able to help myself.

“Because,” Harry said after his eyes searched mine for a second and his smiled turned a bit wider. “I liiike you,” he mimicked me.

I laughed, feeling even more embarrassed at his teasing and curled up on him, hiding my blushing face in the crook of his neck while his arms came to wrap around me and hold me tightly.



Harry and I were buzzing on the way home after the movie, which was fantastic and better than I remembered. We had spent the entire movie repeating lines we’d memorized over the years to each other with super dramatic expressions and then obnoxiously singing along to “Time of My Life”, making the people near us scowl in our direction. Towards the end of the movie, we started to kiss again and it soon turned into a makeout session, which culminated quick and fast without either of us stopping since it was dark and the mood was set with the romance in the movie playing in the background. I didn’t even want to know how many people saw Harry’s hand go up my dress in that park since he had that thing for grabbing my bum whenever we made out.

Evidently the trip home had the two of us feeling jittery and antsy because it was going to be our first time in a while and I for one was more than ready to rip Harry’s blue flannel shirt off his body. He’d been wearing it with only three of his buttons done up and it was quite frankly, extremely rude. Harry had no business being that good looking and only half naked instead of completely. No business at all.

We quickly rushed into the lift of Harry’s flat, eager to get upstairs and get on with it. Harry kept kissing me along the way, gripping my waist and pushing me against the wall whilst laughing into my mouth even though his actions were so rough. After we reached his floor and walked to his door, Harry pulled out his keys and was just about to unlock the door when it flew open. Layla was stood on the other side with a red, tear stained, angry face.

“Layla,” I gasped, alarmed, walking towards her. She shook her head at me with a pained expression, shrugging me away before charging out of there. Harry and I stood there in shock, watching her get into the lift and leave.

“What just happened?” he asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” I breathed out, feeling terrible. I hated when Layla cried because just the sight of it broke my heart. I never liked watching her do it, even though she said sometimes it was good to have a cry. It always made me feel like a helpless friend. I still remembered back in Year 7 when a couple of boys made a joke about her pitching like a girl during P.E. and she had started to cry. I’d punched one of them so hard that he bled through his nose and almost lost a tooth. I got detention and yelled at by the principal, but it was worth it. I felt like tonight would be similar to something like that. I frowned hard, still facing the elevator even though Layla was long gone before pushing past Harry into the flat and charging towards Niall who was stood in the living room, looking like a hot mess.

“Blair,” he started to say when he saw me, Niall’s hands coming up in defense to block himself before I could even reach him.

“What the fuck did you do?” I asked, shoving at his chest, making him stumble back. “Why the fuck was she crying?”

“I didn’t mean to,” he said, rubbing at the spot where I pushed him, his hands still raised. “I didn’t mean for her to get so hurt. I’m sorry.”

“You must have fucked something up to have made her cry, Horan, and I swear you’ll tell me right now or so help me God, I’ll beat you up till you cry yourself.”

“Harry,” he cried, looking past my shoulder in fear and alarm. “Can you tell your girlfriend to chill for a sec?”

“Just answer her question, Niall. Why was Layla crying?”

Niall sighed, a sense of defeat running through him as he lowered his hands. “I messed up, okay? I said something I shouldn’t have and I didn’t mean to, but she flipped out and I didn’t know what to do or how to fix it.”

“What did you say, Niall?” I yelled.

“Look, you know how much I care about her,” he started. “She’s been over a lot and she asked me to move some of my things so she could bring some things with her. And at that moment, all I kept thinking about was Louis calling me whipped because he does that a lot. And I don’t fucking know. I got insecure and told her no.”

“Why did you say no?” Harry asked incredulously, coming up beside me and lowering my hand. I only then realized it was raised in a fist towards Niall, which explained why he was shaking while speaking.

“To assert my male dominance.”

“Oh my god,” I cried in disbelief. “Tell me you did not say that to her. Please tell me you’re not that much of a bellend.”

Niall looked down at his feet, his expression sad and disappointed. “Oh my god,” Harry repeated in a breathy whisper, like he was just as surprised as I was. “Are you a fucking moron, Ni? Because I think you could be the biggest one right now at this point if you gone and said that to her.”

“It just came out,” he blurted, desperately. “She started screaming at me after and wouldn’t take my apology no matter how many times I said it and then just left.” Niall rubbed his face and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I feel like she took a piece of my heart with her when she walked out that door.”

“Shut up,” I snapped at him, glaring. “I can’t believe you. I thought you liked her, Niall. I thought you guys were my otp.”

“I do like her!” he insisted, looking close to tears. “I really didn’t mean it, B. You know I didn’t. I’d give Layla everything. I’d give her my entire room and sleep on the floor if that’s what she wanted.”

I trusted Niall, I really did, but he had his fair share of moments where he genuinely fucked up when it came to Layla. Niall looked remorseful, but he was too late. He said stupid stuff and immediately came to regret it and that shit wasn’t always going to fly anymore. I’d thought that after getting together they’d stop fighting, but I guess they still had a lot of learning to do. Needless to say, it looked like their honeymoon phase had ended and who knew if Layla was going to let this one pass? I could only hope for the best because watching Niall pace in front of me while pulling at his hair and staring at his phone, hoping for a text or call back, was quite sad and disheartening. It also got me worried, thinking about Layla.

I then sighed heavily, looking over at Harry. While I wanted to stay with him and spend the night, I also had a best friend crying who knows where that probably needed me. He gave me an understanding smile and walked over, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. “Go get her. Make sure she’s alright,” he said. “I’ll have a talk with this moron over here to make sure he doesn’t cry himself to death.”

“Okay,” I smiled softly before giving him a hug goodbye and walking out of their flat to find Layla. I rushed down the lift and out into the street, only to find her standing a few feet away, leaning against the wall. Layla looked up at me as I slowly walked over to her and wiped the last of her tears. “Hi,” I said, my tone hushed and consoling.

“Hi,” she replied, her voice thick from crying. “What are you doing down here? Aren’t you on a date?”

“I was,” I said, now talking louder as there was loud traffic behind us. “But there will be many more dates and you’re more important, babe. You feeling alright?”

“I’m okay,” she shrugged weakly. “Had a fight with Niall.”

“He mentioned,” I said, causing her to look up at me curiously, probably wondering what he’d said or how he was doing. “Listen, Niall’s a moron and you have every right to be mad at him, but he didn’t mean it, you know that, right? He just says stupid things sometimes. You know that better than anyone.”

Layla shrugged again, looking out at the busy street while cars passed and fast paced pedestrians walked by. “I just thought I made the right choice in being with him, but after tonight, I’m really not so sure. He made me so mad, B. I wanted to choke him and cry at the same time. The latter won out, though.”

“You know you made the right choice, Layla,” I said to her. “Niall’s just --  he’s dumb. Give him some time and he’ll realize that. He always does.”

“I hope so,” she said, looking back down on the ground.

“And be happy you didn’t actually choke him. You don’t need a murder on your hands.”

That got a small laugh out of her. “God, that fucking Irish twat,” she muttered, a small smile on her lips.

I laughed, reaching out for her hand and lacing our fingers together. “Want to go walk home together and bitch about him?”

She nodded her head with a shaky laugh. “Yeah, sounds perfect.”



“I think I like that one,” Harry said, pointing to the filter I’d clicked on before the one that was displayed now. I pulled my lips in, mulling over the choices, going back and forth between the ones we liked the most before settling on the one Harry liked because that was my choice, too. He had impeccable taste in filters.

“What should I caption this?” I asked, feeling the arm Harry had slung around me pull me closer, his fingers brushing against my upper arm.

Harry pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to decide. I looked away from my phone and the bubble he and I formed around ourselves to see what else was going on.

Niall and Liam were on the couch across from Harry and I, fighting over the remote control for the telly because Niall wanted to watch some Tim Burton movie, even though they creeped Liam out and gave him nightmares. Behind them Zoe and Layla set up the table for dinner and gossiping about who knows what. Layla and Niall kept glancing at each other, pretending they were being discreet about it, but they really weren’t. The two of them had been cordial at most, avoiding one another, even though Niall was trying really hard to talk to her. It surprised me that they even agreed to come over and be in the same room together after their fight. I wasn’t complaining, though, because I wanted them to work it out. Layla had been a complete mess, missing and pining over him the past few days, and from what I gathered from Harry, Niall was faring similarly. Besides that, Zayn and Louis were out on the balcony having a smoke break and Liv and her new friend, Dylan, were in the kitchen cooking us all dinner.

It was Liv’s idea to call everyone over for dinner because she wanted to introduce everyone to Dylan properly since the two of them were close to becoming best mates now. When Dylan greeted everyone, I didn’t miss the smirk on Harry’s lips while he hugged her, laughing at me for what I’d previously thought about her. I had recently told him about her sexuality after Liv confirmed it to me and he laughed for ages saying he totally had a hunch about it but wasn’t sure. He teased me relentlessly for hours for getting jealous until I wouldn’t stop scowling at him, but then he ate me out and I willing got over it. Needless to say, Dylan was actually very cool. She was as funny as Liv described, making us all laugh from time to time with some offhand comment without even trying, and the two seemed to have really hit it off.

I wasn’t jealous or scared that I was losing a best friend or anything, but it was interesting to watch them cooking together because it almost seemed like they were flirting. I wouldn’t want to assume, but if hand brushes, casual touches, and smiling at each other shyly before bursting into giggles were anything to go by, I’d say they were. I couldn’t hear anything of what they were saying, but I could only imagine from the pink tint on Liv’s usual pale cheeks that it must have been good.

“I got it,” Harry said, quiet enough that only I could hear, snapping me out of my thoughts. The two of us had our feet propped up on the coffee table and we’d been cuddled up on the couch since he’d gotten there, being of absolute no help to the others. Not that I cared when Harry kept kissing me and whispering adorable things into my ear, although sometimes it’d be dirty, which I never minded. We’d just taken a selfie and were trying to upload it with the perfect filter and caption. It would be our first couple selfie and we were quite excited about it.

I looked down at the phone screen and snorted when I saw he’d settled on emojis instead of actual words. There was a banana emoji followed by a peach, then a tongue, and lastly a monkey emoji with the hands covering the eyes. It was funny, probably a bit confusing and most likely dirty, knowing Harry.

“I like it,” I told him. Harry grinned, pressing on the button to upload it and gave me my phone back before kissing my cheek, as if he didn’t just do so just five minutes ago.

“Hey, Blair,” Layla called from where she was stood. I turned to look back at her and she smiled. “Come here for a sec, babe.”

Harry made a small strangled, whiney noise as I slowly disentangled myself from him causing me to laugh. He schooled his expression into something more challenging and adamant. “You’ll be back,” he said confidently, slightly offended that I was making fun of his neediness. I blew him a dramatic kiss before walking over to where the girls were and found they were done with setting up the table.

“What’s up?” I asked, noticing the smirks on their faces.

“Come here,” Zoe said, tugging on my hand until we were in the kitchen with Dylan and Liv, who looked up at us as we entered. They were cutting the salad, having set out the lasagna and chicken fresh from the oven to cool for a bit on the counter.

“What’s going on?” I asked them with an amused giggle, leaning back against the counter.

“Tell us about you and Harry,” Layla smiled, sitting up on the counter, her legs swinging in front of her.

“Oh, right,” Dylan said. “You’re the bird he was telling me about when I spoke to him a few weeks ago, aren’t you?”

“What?” I cocked my head to the side.

“I was talking to him at one of the frat parties, I think a few days after his birthday, and he was drunk and going on and on about you.”

I smiled, pleased with that bit of information. “That’s nice,” I said.

“Nice?” Liv asked me teasingly. “He’s obsessed with you and you love it. You never told us how it is, like being with him properly. It’s fun to watch. You’re like married almost.”

“Well,” I giggled again, feeling a bit shy all of a sudden. “I mean, we’ve only been official for a few weeks, so I can’t say much. Our first date was fun. We went to dinner and that movie screening at the park. They showed Dirty Dancing and we basically played out the entire thing without actually moving. Other than that, it’s been exactly the same as before we made it official, except now we know what we are to each other.”

“Does it ever kill you that you were oblivious for so long?” Zoe laughed with Layla. “It must be a bit maddening. I know I’d get mad.”

“I mean, we could have definitely been together a lot longer had we figured our shit out before,” I said. “But it’s done with and in the past, so can’t do anything about it. I’m happy, though, to finally be with him.”

The girls gushed and cooed at me while I tried to fight the huge smile on my face. Harry was quickly becoming my favorite topic to talk about and I could only hope I wasn’t as obvious as I felt.

“What’s been your favorite part about it all?” Dylan asked me with this longing look in her eyes, which I was rather curious about.

“I’m not sure,” I said, a bit taken aback by the question because there were so many things about Harry that were my favorite. “Maybe when we hug because it’s quite nice.”

“Your favorite part is hugging him?” Layla asked, her expression a mix between confused and amused. “I thought you’d say his dick or something.”

The girls laughed at that while I shrugged noncommittally because that was true, too. “Yeah, that, too, but I like hugging him. He’s a little over 6 feet, I think, and I’m about 5’8”, so when I hug him, I can hear his heart and it just feels nice.”

The girls cooed again, covering their mouths and looking at me with big, heart eyes, only to be interrupted by Zayn, who walked into the kitchen smelling like smoke, making Liv wave her hand in front of her face while wrinkling her nose. Zayn chuckled, messing up her hair and making her scowl before facing the rest of us. “What’s going on?” he asked, coming up beside Zoe.

“We’re talking to Blair about her and Harry,” she told him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Nice, good stuff,” he replied. “But, can we close up the conversation and resume it later after we’ve had dinner because we’re all starving out there and Louis is about to throw a fit.”

“Alright, alright,” Zoe replied, following him out while he carried the dishes to the dining room. “Let’s give Louis the least amount of food for being a brat, though.”



The end credits to the last episode of How I Met Your Mother played and there was a moment of silence between Harry and I, as we tried to let the ending sink in after months of watching this show together. It was almost uncanny how we’d started watching it at the beginning stages of our friendship and it ran it’s course with us as we became a couple. Weird, that. After a few moments, I turned to look at him to find he was already looking back at me. We both started laughing softly as I set the laptop down after shutting it off.

“That was not what I expected,” he said. He was leaning against my headboard and had an arm resting behind his head, making his muscles bulge, momentarily distracting me from forming coherent thoughts or listening to a word he was saying. “They just spent nine seasons finding the mother only to kill her in the end.”

“I mean, the point was to find her,” I said, practically having to pry my eyes off of his arms. “She would have had to die eventually at some point or another in her life.”

“Yeah, but actually showing that part made it so morbid,” Harry replied. “If end game was really going to be Robin, they could have done that in bloody season two.”

I put my laptop on my side table before crawling over to Harry, casually straddling his lap, watching the way his lips curved up into a smirk. He moved his free hand that wasn’t behind his head to hold my waist and I tried not to squirm and give into temptation because we were adults and we were meant to be having an adult conversation about a television show, not get distracted by our sexual desires.

“It was important to find the mother, though,” I said to him. “She married him, they had kids and a life together. And Robin and Ted were really into each other so they were always going to come back to one another if anything happened. Robin was Ted’s one and Ted was Robin’s one.”

“Their one?”

“Like, that one person in your life who you may or may not end up with, but always come back to no matter what. Ted married the mother, but for him it was always Robin. And same goes for Robin, who had married Barney.”

Harry bit his lip, pondering over what I’d said, while I smoothed out his hair and played with his curls. He turned back to me, eyebrows pinched together. “I suppose you’re right. Gives it a whole new perspective now that I think about it.”

I smiled happily, poking his dimples. “Anyway, I’m knackered. Can we go to bed?”

I nodded with a slow smile. He leaned forward, giving me a kiss before the two of us settled down beside each other under my covers, with my back to him while he tangled our limbs together and hugged me from behind.