Breathe

“Are we there yet?”

“No, Liam,” Harry gritted with his most annoyed expression while looking at Liam through the rearview mirror. “For the millionth time, we aren’t there yet. We haven’t even driven past the sign that welcomes us into the city for Christ’s sake.”

Liam groaned loudly in the backseat, throwing his head back against the headrest and looking out the window moodily. Beside him, Louis had his head resting on Liam’s shoulder while sleeping with his mouth wide open and a little drool dripping out from the corner. On Louis’s other side was Liv, curled up with her feet up on his lap and mouthing along to the Taylor Swift CD she had made Harry put on during the drive.

Harry and I were sat up front. He was driving with a hand on the wheel and the other reaching across the console to hold onto mine. I played with his fingers distractedly, trying to pass time while he and Liam bickered on and off. It was all banter and with love, of course. We were given a week off from Uni due to Easter hols and while we were all going to go home to spend it with our families, Louis suggested we do a quick group trip to get smashed and party for three days before returning home. After very little debate, we all agreed, like we did to most of the ideas Louis came up with.

The trip wasn’t long -- max four hours. We’d only made two pit stops, but only because the other car -- which was Zayn’s and held Zoe, Layla and Niall -- had to stop because Niall kept having to piss. None of us wanted to leave without the other, so we’d all stopped and ended up spending longer than necessary in front of the register to grab as much candy and snacks as we could find. I was big on the M&M’s and bought about five packets of those, but only because everyone was mooching them off of me and I had to share.

I turned to look at Harry, studying his profile for a moment before asking, “So, explain to me again where you’re going to be living now?”

Harry looked off the road for a second, meeting my eyes, before looking back. He looked tired. His eyes were puffy around the edges and so green that I could hardly spot his pupils unless I looked really hard. His lips were chapped and probably cold because Liam had demanded he turn up the air conditioner. “One of the frat brothers -- Greg, I don’t know if you remember him -- left. He transferred out and everything and they had an extra room. Nick offered me the room.”

“That was all favoritism,” Liam piped up indignantly from the back again. “I very well needed that room because have you seen where I live? I’ve got the smallest room in the flat and I live with the most messiest and the most high maintenance guys in the world. I deserved that room.”

“Oi, shut the fuck up,” Louis mumbled, having heard Liam insult him, before slurping up his drool and turning to get comfortable on Liv’s shoulder.

“It’s true,” Liam insisted. “Nick played favoritism because Harry’s his favorite.”

“Are you implying I’m not worthy for a room in the frat house, Liam?” Harry frowned. “Is that what you’re implying because if yes, then I’m going to have to ask you to pipe the fuck down. I’m just as worthy as you.”

“Bad man,” Liam snickered at that.

Harry tried to hide the smile on his face before switching lanes on the freeway and continuing to keep up with the other car. “Besides, I’m not staying there all the time and you’d know that if you didn’t interrupt me. You can share with me if you want. We can split it and all.”

“You mean that?” Liam asked warily, like he was suspicious of Harry’s intentions.

“Yeah,” Harry replied surely. “I’m only going to be staying some nights, like when I need to wake up early for morning classes since campus is closer to the frat house than our building is, or when I’m too drunk to walk home, or Blair and I can’t make it to either of our flats because we can’t wait any longer.”

Liam gagged while I preened at Harry for thinking about us and what would be most convenient. It came as a surprise when Harry had mentioned to me that morning that he might be moving to the frat house. It was really crowded in there. I knew several of the boys, like Ed and Josh, who lived there and it was a constant pig stye, too. It also always smelled like stale beer and boy. I wondered if Harry could survive that mess because he was one of the cleanest people I knew.  

“So, let me get this straight. We stay there, but only half the time and if either of us have a girl in there, the other one has to split?” Liam asked just to make sure.

“Right -- well, obviously. I was going to stay there partially as it is because I like my own room at the flat too much to let it go. I only took it up because I thought why not? Couldn’t hurt to have an extra room. You never know when you might need it.”

“Yeah, I can understand that. I like my flat too much to let it go, too, and as much as I dislike how high maintenance Zayn is, I’d miss him too much.”

“That’s cute,” I giggled. “But, I think that’s fair. Splitting the room.”

“Glad we agreed on this,” Liam grinned. “Oh, hey, look. The sign’s right up front.”

“Yes,” Harry nodded. “But for the love of God, please don’t ask if we’re there yet. We’ve got another twenty miles to go according to Google Maps.”

Liam grumbled, but then sighed in defeat as we passed the sign reading, Welcome to Leeds.



Liam only asked another eight times as to whether or not we were there yet.

By the time we did arrive, Harry was mildly annoyed and he and Liam wrestled around for a little bit before laughing and hugging it off. Liv looked tired and a bit on the moody side, so I gave her an encouraging, happy smile, which she returned, albeit with only a small one. I had no idea what was up with her. She’d come in late last night and didn’t bother to sit down and talk, instead going straight to her room and closing the door behind her. During times like those, we both left the other one alone, understanding that sometimes you just needed to have time on your own. However, it continued on to today and I wondered what had happened with her and whether or not she was okay. I made a quick mental note to ask her before we all went home for hols.

The other car pulled up beside us and they unloaded, looking just as tired and grumpy from the long drive. The only person really awake was Louis, who popped out of the car, grinning like actual sunshine as he observed the area.

“Fucking Yorkshire, guys,” he kept saying. “Welcome to my hood.”

Zayn and Louis obnoxiously cackled together, throwing up the Westside gang sign and taking a few selfies since they were technically back home and this was a proud moment or whatever. The rest of us, on the other hand, were eager to just grab our baggage and pick up our keys from the hotel concierge so that we could all settle in. We’d booked three rooms in total. Liv was bunking with Louis. Niall, Layla, Zayn and Zoe got one room for themselves. That left Liam with me and Harry.

“I’m telling you now, guys,” Liam said as we took our baggages to the lift to head up to our room. The others were still checking in or already upstairs since we’d gotten rooms on different floors. “If you guys have sex while I’m in the room, I’ll run out and I’ll scream bloody murder.”

“All the more reason to do it then, Liam,” Harry teased, smirking at him while slinging an arm around me.

“I’m not into exhibitionism,” I replied to Liam. “Not going to happen, so relax.”

“You never know what you might end up doing in the heat of the moment, Blair,” Liam said, raising his eyebrows at me as we got on the lift. “Might not be able to help yourself.”

“Yeah, Blair,” Harry teased, bending down and kissing me hard on the cheek. “You never know what might end up happening in the heat of the moment.”

The two of them snickered while I rolled my eyes at both of them and pretended like I was annoyed and grossed out, all the while smiling myself, too. Boys were going to be boys. The three of us got off on the sixth floor, located our room and spent a whole minute trying to open the door because Liam couldn’t get the hang of it the first time. Upon entering, Liam immediately jumped on the bed closest to the door.

“Just in case you two start getting it on and I really would have to run out,” he explained while we maneuvered our way to the other side of the room.

Harry cackled while picking up two of the complimentary water bottles the hotel had left us by the TV stand and flinging them at Liam. I ignored the two of them and walked over to the window, looking down at the view. It was just tons and tons of grass and meadows. We’d decided to get a hotel a bit out of the way from the nightlife scene only because of pricing reasons and we were all cheap Uni students, but it seemed quite nice despite the fact. When I turned back around, Harry and Liam were wrestling again on top of his bed and letting out loud squeals of laughter if one of them hit the other too hard.

I had a feeling this was going to be a common occurrence during our stay.  

I looked over at the bed Harry and I would be sleeping in and noticed how nice and comfortable it looked, all white sheets, fluffy pillows and soft duvet. The more I looked at it, the more I realized that it really had been a long drive and my body was starting to succumb to how tired I was. It had been a long grueling two weeks at Uni. We had all just finished midterms and I hadn’t had much time to sleep what with juggling schoolwork and a boyfriend. A nap before we went out really wouldn’t hurt. I slowly crawled over to the bed, curling up underneath the covers, letting my eyes drift shut easily.

It wasn’t long after that that I felt Harry’s body crawl in beside me, pulling my body flush against his chest, his warm lavender jumper soft against my skin. I was going to have to steal it from him by the end of the trip so that I had it with me when I said goodbye till after hols. “Napping, babe?” Harry murmured in my ear before kissing the spot under my lobe softly.

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “Super tired.”

“We can nap,” he said, pulling me closer, as though that was possible with how close he was holding me already.

“But Louis’s just texted me saying a few of them are going for burgers and chips,” Liam said from where he was lying down on his own bed.

“Later,” I mumbled, letting out a blissful sigh when I felt Harry’s hand slip under my shirt and rub over my stomach. “Let’s nap now.”

“Suit yourself,” Liam called, getting off his bed and leaving out the door. Once the door shut, Harry turned my body around to face him, pressing quick, sporadic kisses on my lips before settling down on his pillow. I smiled at him, curling up in his arms and closing my eyes once more.



I couldn’t hear what Zayn and Liam were saying to each other, but whatever they were saying was heated. I knew they were drunk and it wasn’t anything serious that I had to be worried about. Zoe, who was standing beside me with her drink in her hand and swaying to the music, was hardly bothered about it. Nevertheless, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Zayn and Liam. It probably had a lot to do with how bored I was.

I wasn’t nearly as drunk as I wanted to be -- or as much as everyone else was. I had lost sight of Liv a while ago, but had a hunch she was with Louis out in the back to smoke a spliff. Niall and Layla were practically fucking on the dance floor and I had no idea where Harry was. He’d disappeared a while back at the bar and I wanted him to come back so that we could dance or something. BED was a really nice nightclub, one of the top most recommended in Leeds, but it was a subpar experience for me so far.

“Come on, then,” Zayn’s voice rang out, snapping me out of my thoughts and turning my attention back to the pair. “Come on.”

My eyes widened as I watched Zayn put his head close to Liam’s, like they were about to have a brawl in the middle of the club. Zoe stopped dancing beside me after hearing the yelling, turning to look as well. What happened next made both of our mouths drop in utter shock.

They kissed.

Liam and Zayn kissed.

It wasn’t deep or with tongue or anything. It was more like a peck, but they just fucking kissed and then burst out laughing, shoving at each other. And all I could think was where was Harry? I wished he was here with me to witness what I’d just seen because he’d find it just as amusing as I did.

“Oh my god,” Zoe said, covering her mouth. I turned to look her, bursting out laughing at her reaction and she followed suit, her eyes crinkled and head thrown back.  “That is so…”

“Interesting,” I said at the same time that she said, “Hot.”

We both looked at each other, only to laugh even harder at each other’s responses. That was when Harry appeared beside me, wrapping his arms around me from behind. “Hiiii,” he slurred, drunkenly into my ear.

“Where’ve you been?” I asked, putting my hands over his as he swayed us from side to side. “I’ve been so bored and you missed it. Zayn and Liam just kissed.”

“What?” he sputtered, laughing at the two boys who were now talking to Zoe. “Tell me you recorded that.”

“I didn’t,” I shook my head sadly. “It just happened.”

Harry hummed. “Maybe they’ll do it again.”

“Hopefully. Anyway, where have you been?” I asked, poking him on the arm.

“At the bar,” Harry replied. “I met a band there and they were really cool and we were taking shots. Sorry, baby.”

“It’s alright,” I said, turning in his arms and placing my hands on his shoulders. “You’re here now.”

I smiled up at him, taking in his drunken state. His curly hair, which was pulled back with a black headscarf, framed his flushed, smiling face. He was looking at me with hooded eyes and pulling me in closer by the waist. Harry tipped his head down, claiming my lips and pulling us back so that we were further hidden from the club in a small, secluded corner.

“You wanna know something?” he asked, mumbling against my mouth while sucking my bottom lip between his.

“Hmm,” I hummed.

“I want to marry you right now,” he giggled, drawing back from the kiss, but not pulling away.

I looked at him, confused and speechless for a moment before giggling myself. “What?” I asked. “What are you saying?”

“I wanna marry you,” he repeated, louder and clearer. “Right now. Let’s go get married and then go back to the hotel and honeymoon and try for a baby. A baby or two.”

“A baby or two?” I asked curiously while he kissed me again, the taste of alcohol now on my tongue, too.

“‘M serious, B,” he said, breaking the kiss for a moment. “I wanna do it. I wanna do it, like, right now.”

“We’ll do it,” I nodded my head, teasing him with mock seriousness. “Just later, yeah? When we’re dressed more appropriately.”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” he asked, looking down at his black mesh jumper.

“I want you to wear a tux,” I told him. “You look gorgeous now, but you’d look better in a tux.”

Harry watched me for a moment, as though he was seriously mulling over what attire we should wear when we got married before nodding his head. “I suppose you’re right. We’ll get a tux for me and get married because I really wanna put that baby in you.”

“Gotcha,” I nodded with a giggled before kissing him again.



“I’m never drinking again,” Liv groaned loudly while slumping down in her seat and scraping the legs against the hard tiles, causing a loud screeching noise.

I cringed, rubbing my temple and looking over at her with a frown. Although I hadn’t drank much at first last night, after Harry joined me we had both taken a few more shots together and I was now paying for it the morning after. Everyone else was faring similarly, trying to nurse their hangovers while trying to eat a late lunch that was being served by the hotel. We’d slept well into breakfast and decided to venture out of our beds to put something in our stomachs before going back up for a nap. Liv was the last one of us to arrive and it was without doubt that she had been the worst last night. Liam and Zayn had to carry her back to the hotel because she could barely stand on her own. While Liv didn’t usually go that hard, it wasn’t unlike her either. I’d seen her like this before, but only when she was under a lot of stress.

“It’s only been one day, Livvy,” Louis said to her. “You’ve got two more nights to go. How will you do it?”

“I’ll do it without ever drinking or smoking again,” she mumbled, resting her head in her arms. I reached over and stroked her back, running my fingers through her soft hair. She seemed to preen at that, leaning into my touch and shutting her eyes.

Harry, who was eating on my other side, passed over chips he’d gotten from the buffet on to my plate. I smiled at him fondly, picking up a chip and popping it into my mouth. “I don’t think I’m drinking that much tonight, either,” he said.

“What?” Louis cried, sounding horrified. “That’s two of you within the first night. You lot are fucking weak. How do you give up that easy?”

“I agree with Lou,” Niall piped up. “We’re here to party it up, lads. Let’s fucking go hard. Let’s get sloppy.”

Harry licked over his teeth and then his lips while finishing chewing before fixing Louis and Niall with a look. “Ask Blair how many times I threw up this morning.”

The two boys turned to me expectantly. “Like three, I think. I had to hold his hair back. Poor lad.”

Harry raised his eyebrows at the boys like he’d just made as good a point as any. “You can imagine how embarrassing that was, right?”

“Alright, so boo hoo, you threw up in front of your girlfriend,” Louis admonished him with a wave of his hand. “Do it for one more night. Tonight we’re going to PRYZM and it’s right by University of Leeds, so the scene is going to be insane.”

“Think there are any hot birds at University of Leeds?” Liam asked.

“We’ll find out tonight,” Louis replied. “So, everyone’s drinking. No excuses. Like Niall said, we’re getting smashed. Sloppy, even.”

Liv sneered at Louis disdainfully. “You’re that kid everyone and their mum’s warn about. The one who peer pressures.”

“I love you, too, Livvy,” Louis smiled at her cheerily. “Anyways, I heard some people talking about Leeds Festival last night. We should all go.”

Layla perked up from where she was sitting beside Zoe. “I’ve never been to Leeds Festival before. I’ve always wanted to go, but my parents always said I was too young to go alone.”

“Same,” Zayn added. “I’ve lived close to the festival all my life, but never actually went because none of my friends wanted to go and my parents wouldn’t send me alone. So, I’d be down to go for sure.”

“Should we buy tickets then?” Louis asked, looking around the table at the group. We all nodded, noting everyone else’s approval to the plans. Louis grinned at that. “Good because Harry and I’ve gone before and it’s fucking mental. It’s the best.”

“When is it again?” Zoe asked, sipping her coffee.

“August,” Harry replied. “Should be a good time.”

“Can’t wait,” Liv mumbled from where she was still snoozing.



I had dated Dean Atkinson when I was eighteen years old -- going onto nineteen -- right around the beginning of Uni. I’d met him in sixth form through some mutual mates and even though I went to King’s College and he went to University of Leeds, we’d somehow made it work for a good few months. I met him every week, taking the train to and from our schools, traveling those grueling three hours just to spend a few days with him (he only made that trip to come see me once and complained all weekend about it). It was sweet at first, really. He’d liked me from secondary, made the first move and told me how he felt, and then we got together. I remembered thinking why not? Could be fun to have a boyfriend, after all.

Dean told me he loved me three months into our relationship and while I had other boys say that to me before, it somehow felt special. I said it back right away, not thinking much about it, and we spent another blissful two months together until things started to get bad. We would fight constantly and he’d ignore me whenever I was trying to reach him, making me go crazy from all the way in London wondering what I’d done or how I could fix it. Eventually during our sixth month together, we broke up -- via text message of all ways. And it was only after we broke up that I realized how we weren’t in love at all. It was just the comfort of having someone rather than no one at all -- at least for me it was -- I couldn’t speak for Dean. Nevertheless, I was torn up after we’d broken up, having lost someone who I’d spent so much time with and dedicated a part of my life to.

Since then, however, I’d blocked out Dean from my memories, set on moving on as best as I possibly could. It worked well, really. I focused on school, my friends, family and my future. So, when I spotted Dean at PRYZM, standing with a few mates who I recognized just as well, I turned away awkwardly. Dean hadn’t changed one bit. He still had that stupid haircut that didn’t suit him at all, but he insisted on getting every time, and dressed like a 12 year old boy who played too much video games. When I turned away, my eyes landed on Harry, who was leaning against the wall, talking to Niall about something and laughing really hard, his dimples sinking in on his cheeks.

Harry was such an upgrade now that I remembered Dean long enough to actually compare -- even though they really shouldn’t be compared because Harry was miles better. He was not only better to me as a person, but he also looked so much better. Harry was fucking hot, simply put, with his beautiful, gorgeous features. He also had a sense of style, which most people wouldn’t really consider as important, but I did. You should want someone in your life who was able to take care of themselves in every way. And Harry did. However, out of all the things I liked about Harry, one of the biggest ones was his desire to succeed and make something out of himself. He had dreams and he had wishes, and that was amazing to me because Dean never had that. It always felt like Dean was just getting through life and trying to get by. The thought alone was boring and that was the opposite of what Harry was. Harry was exciting and interesting and everything I’d ever wanted in a guy. The thought alone was boring and that was the opposite of what Harry was. Harry was exciting and interesting and everything I’d ever wanted in a guy.

I closed the distance between Harry and I, wrapping an arm around him and nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck. Harry didn’t stop talking to Niall about whatever it was that they were talking about (something about how Louis and Liam got rejected by some girls), but his arm wrapped around me tightly and he tilted his head to the side a bit more to expose his neck to me. I pecked him there once before resting my head on his shoulder.

Eventually when Layla came over and dragged Niall off towards the dance floor, Harry turned to me, smiling. “You wanna get a drink?” he asked.

“Sure,” I nodded, lacing our fingers together and walking over to the bar. “I thought you weren’t drinking tonight.”

“Louis already bought me like three shots,” Harry scoffed with a laugh.

We had been at the bar for no less than thirty seconds, giving our order in, when Dean walked over, standing in the spot right beside us. What even was my luck? I tried not to look obvious or make any awkward eye contact with him, instead turning my body to face Harry. It seemed I was too late because Dean had noticed me, doing a double take and letting his eyes linger on me for a few seconds with a shocked expression as though he was trying to decide whether or not he should say something.

I nervously laughed, realizing this was unavoidable, and mumbled, “Hey.”

“Hey,” Dean said, a little more enthusiastically than I expected. “How are you? It’s been so long.”

“I’m good,” I replied, noticing Harry’s curious glance over at us before accepting our drinks from the bartender. He handed me my pint, mouthing who at me discreetly. My ex, I mouthed back. Harry raised his eyebrows in recognition as he sized Dean up with his eyes. He must not have liked what he saw because he turned back to me and gagged, making me giggle. Harry smiled at me, giving me a kiss on the cheek and wrapping an arm around my waist, protectively.

I didn’t even want to turn to see if Dean saw that or what his reaction was. It’d been nearly three years since we spoke or meant anything to each other and even then it was a bit awkward. The three of us stood in silence, trying to figure out what to do next. When Dean got his own drinks, he turned to me.

“It was nice seeing you,” he said, glancing down at where Harry’s arm was resting momentarily before looking back at us. “Come by our booth if you have time. We’re the third one towards the back. The old lads you know are here. Gavin, Oscar, Kevin, the whole lot.”

I gave him a fake, hopefully convincing smile. “Will do. See ya.”

Dean gave me one last smile, sparing Harry a look as well, before walking over to where I’d last seen him standing. I turned back to look at Harry, who was still watching Dean, and nudged him.

“What is it?” I asked while taking a sip of my drink.  

“I don’t like him,” Harry replied coolly. “He’s so --  like, he’s just -- you know.”

“Oh, yeah? Suppose you’re right,” I teased Harry like I actually understood any of what he’d just said. Harry shot me a look and I giggled, kissing the corner of his lip until he smiled. “He’s whatever is what he is. You know you’re the best I’ve ever had, babe.”

Harry grinned bashfully, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, making it turn white. “That does wonders for my ego. I mean it’s cool, I guess. You can go over if you like. I wouldn’t be angry or whatever.”

“Right,” I said, not believing him for a second. “I don’t want to go over.”

“You sure?” he asked. “They are your old friends, right?”

I shrugged, wrinkling my nose in indifference. “Not interested really. They can fuck off for all I care because I’d rather be with you. I want to be with you. They’re old friends for a reason.”

“That doesn’t sound so nice,” Harry said, pouting a bit as he looked at me with a concerned expression. “Did they all do something to you?”

I shrugged again, looking down at the buttons on his black and white flannel shirt and playing with them. “I think that we had some good times back in the day, but my place wasn’t with them, you know what I mean? And I think that I sort of regret spending so much time with them and wasting that time when I could have been elsewhere.”

“Elsewhere like with me?” Harry asked, smiling as he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. “Wish you came into my life sooner.”

“Yeah, me, too,” I whispered. “I’d trade all those days spent with them to spend long nights with you, instead.”

“Long nights, huh?” Harry waggled his eyebrows.

I laughed, smacking him on the chest. “Not like that you dumb arse. I meant our coffee runs and us just talking for hours and hours. I don’t have many people I can do that with.”

Harry looked taken aback by my confession, the moment taking a more serious note, and pulled me closer against his chest. His green eyes bore into mine and I could have sworn my heart felt like it was on fire, warming up every inch of my body. “Me either, B. I’m glad I’m with you.”

“Me, too,” I said softly. Harry dipped his head down, giving me a kiss, letting his tongue swipe out to lick into my mouth cheekily before pulling back and grinning at me. I scrunched up my nose and felt my face flush with the way he was smiling at me before fixing him with a teasing look. “Now that that’s cleared up, let’s talk about the dirty looks you were shooting at Dean.”

“Is that his name?” Harry asked, distastefully. “Sounds like a class A twat.”

I giggled, biting my bottom lip. “You’re actually kind of cute when you get jealous. I should go over to talk to him just to get you like this.”

“Oh, you think it’s funny?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. I nodded playfully and Harry leveled me with a look. “We’ll see how you like it later when I get back at you for this.”

I frowned, looking at him confused, but Harry only smiled at me smugly while sipping his drink.



I found out the next night what exactly Harry meant when we all went to a low-key pub instead of a club.

After last night, everyone had gone so hard with partying again that this morning was not only hard, but almost intolerable. We couldn’t get Niall to move out of bed because he pretty much blacked out the night before and Louis’s voice was completely shot to the point where he couldn’t even talk. So, in the end, even the hardest of the partiers agreed that we couldn’t go so hard three nights in a row. We’d nursed our hangovers all day and decided to hang out at a pub nearby our hotel. There was good music playing and everyone was having a good time regardless of the fact that we weren’t exactly partying.  

I’d chosen to drink a ginger ale with Zoe, opting out of the pints everyone else was having. The two of us had actually gone to scope out the area we were staying at earlier that day since neither of us had been to Leeds before and found it was quite beautiful in its own way. While we were sitting down and discussing Zoe’s hometown in Birmingham in comparison to Leeds, I looked over her shoulder only to frown at what I saw. Harry, who was standing by the counter with Zayn and Liam while having a pint, locked eyes with me for a moment before smirking and turning to his other side where three girls were sat. He smiled at them, dimples and all, before saying something that made them giggle. After a few more moments of cheeky chatting, Harry called the bartender over and said something to him before pointing to the three girls.

Was he flirting with three girls and buying them drinks?

All to get back at me for what I’d said to him last night?

If Harry Styles was anything, it was an overachiever. Three girls.  

“What’s he doing?” Zoe asked, turning to look at Harry as well when she caught sight of my angry expression.

I rolled my eyes as I stood up off my seat. “Trying to get back at me. And it worked.”

Zoe looked rather confused and was about to ask me what I meant, but I was already marching over to Harry, my arms crossed across my chest. When he didn’t turn to look back at me when I approached him, too caught up in talking to those girls, I took to tapping him on the shoulder. He turned then, eyebrows raised when he saw it was me.

“Oh, hi,” he smiled.

I faked a grin, teeth grinding down from how mad I was. “Having fun?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he said, running a hand through his brown curls. “Just talking to these girls. This is Amand--.”

I tugged on his olive green floral print shirt before he could even finish introducing me to those girls because I really didn’t fucking care what their names were and only stopped when we were far away from them. Harry looked surprised and a bit taken aback, but his eyes were still shining in amusement.

“You okay?” he asked.

I scowled in response, shoving at his arm and Harry laughed, grabbing my hand before I could pull it away. He laced our fingers together and tried to grab my other one, but I shook my head despite the fact that I wasn’t pulling away my other hand either. Harry’s expression softened up then and he moved closer until he had to physically look down to see me. I felt whatever anger I had already start to dissipate just from the way he was looking at me and squeezing my hand.

“That wasn’t funny,” I said to him, voice small and vulnerable while still trying to frown at him and make my stand. I couldn’t just let him get away with flirting with girls right in front of me and buying them drinks. That was not done.

Harry laughed, nonetheless, his tongue swiping out to lick his lips, making them even redder and shinier than they’d been when he was drinking his pint. “It was kind of funny,” he tried.

“No, it wasn’t. I didn’t actually make you jealous last night. I just said it was funny when you did get jealous.”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, voice slow and weirdly comforting despite the conversation we were having. “But I didn’t flirt with those girls at the bar, either.”

I arched an eyebrow at him and fixed him with an unamused look. Who was he trying to kid? Did I look stupid?

“I was playing wingman for Liam,” Harry continued. I blinked at him owlishly while he burst out laughing again. “Yeah, he thought those girls were pretty so I started talking to them for him and said he offered to buy them drinks and yeah. Then you came charging over like an angry wife all mad and cute.”

I pulled my lips in and bit down on them, feeling sort of embarrassed over how I acted, even though he probably wanted me to react that way because he’d said he’d get back at me and made it seem how I really thought it was. I still should have known that Harry wouldn’t seriously flirt with them. It was easy to get insecure sometimes, though, especially when it came to Harry since I knew the effect he had on girls.

When I looked back at Harry, he was watching me carefully. I reached over and took his other hand with mine. “I mean, we almost did get married that first night at the club. Almost had a baby, too. I had every right to get mad to protect my almost marriage.”

Harry looked at me like he couldn’t believe I was real before laughing, a sound which was quickly becoming my favorite sound in the world, and leaned in to kiss my nose and then my cheek. “I was only playing, babe. Not interested in any other girls,” he said to me softly. “I’m yours and only yours.”

“Good because you don’t need another girl,” I replied back. “Got the only girl you’ll ever need right here.”

Harry laughed, pulling me in again. “Yeah, baby,” he said, kissing me on the lips really quick before drawing back. “Want to head to the hotel? Before Liam gets back?”

I nodded my head and Harry smiled before leading the two of us out of the pub and walking towards the hotel, which was only ten minutes away. Our entwined hands swung between us and there was a comfortable silence as I thought back to the conversation back at the bar. I couldn’t help but wonder about something so, when I looked over at Harry from the corner of my eye, I noticed that he seemed to be deep in thought, too. When he caught me looking, he grinned.

“What?” he asked. “What’s on your mind?”

“Could ask you the same thing,” I teased. “Wondering about something is all. You have to tell what’s on your mind too, though.”

“You first,” he prompted.

I laughed breathily before saying, “Does domestic talk turn you on?”

Harry watched me for a quiet moment before we both burst out laughing. “Oh my god,” he breathed out. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

I nodded insistently. “Yeah, like that day at the club and then again today. You had a look in your eye.”

“A look in my eye,” he repeated to himself like he was mulling over his response. “I mean, I guess. I do like the idea of domesticity. Having someone as my partner permanently and kids and a nice house with a dog, maybe. A cat, too.”

“Wow,” I replied.

“What is it?” he asked, almost embarrassed, his cheeks tinted pink.

“Nothing,” I quickly said. “It’s just that I didn’t expect domesticity to be a part of the Harry Styles playbook.”

“The Harry Styles playbook?” he asked, jaw dropped. “You’re joking.”

“Wish I was. So many pages filled and so much to learn.”

“You’re kind of crazy.”

“Tell me, Harry Styles, what else do you have in there?” I asked with a dramatic tone.

“I’m just going to ignore you until we get to the hotel.”

“That’s not nice,” I pouted.

He made the motion to zip his lips closed and I rolled my eyes in response as we walked the last few minutes to the hotel. Once we got up to our room, neither of us made a move to do anything other than peel our clothes off until we were just in our undergarments and cuddle under the covers, far too comfortable with just that. We were lying on our sides, facing each other and I almost thought I was going to fall asleep from how peaceful and nice it was when Harry spoke up.

“You didn’t ask me what I was thinking about,” he breathed out quietly, reminding me. I hummed in response, blinking up at him to see him watching with something soft in his eyes. He had an arm wrapped around my middle, one of his legs in between mine because they were cold. He opened his mouth, almost hesitating.

“What were you thinking, then?” I asked him with a sleepy voice and smile.

Harry grinned softly. “Blair, I love you.”

I could physically feel my heartbeat stutter against my chest at the sound of those words, no longer sleepy or tired from the past 3 days. In fact, I was suddenly wide awake and feeling every inch of my body warming up with something I couldn’t quite recognize. Harry looked as open and vulnerable as he sounded, his voice almost inaudible despite how quiet it was in the room. Even his expression was unlike anything I’d ever seen on him. He looked almost scared, but so utterly sure of himself -- and no, he shouldn’t be scared. Harry shouldn’t be scared ever because what we had was special. What we had was different than anything I’d ever experienced in my life and Harry should be anything but scared.

“You love me?” I asked, whispering just as quietly.

Harry nodded a few times, like he didn’t want to take it back since he’d already said it. “How could I not? You’ve got me so completely smitten. Never felt like this before,” he said, breathily. “I’ve never loved anyone else the way I love you.”

“Harry,” I breathed out shakily with a smile, pulling him closer so that our noses nuzzled together. He smiled at me, happy and so at peace, like he’d been holding back and carrying that with him and felt at ease once he’d finally said it.

“It’s okay if you don’t say it back yet,” he said to me. “It’s okay because I just want you to know that I love you. I’m so in love with you, oh my god--.”

I surged forward, pressing my lips against his because I couldn’t take it anymore. I was so fucking desperate to get as close to him as I possibly could. And I couldn’t possibly be any closer to him than I already was, but even then it wasn’t enough. I never knew that I could feel this much for someone else, even though I couldn’t say the words back just yet. I still wanted him to know that I felt something and that I never knew what I had with him could mean so much. This past year with him -- and everything we’d been through -- was on another level. And for the first time, I wasn’t looking forward to graduation or leaving Uni and any of this behind. I wanted to stay there forever in Harry’s arms.

When we had sex that night, it was slow and absolutely breathtaking with the way Harry held me -- almost like he was making love to me, a term I never used before, and it meant more than all the other times we’d done it. He was gentle and loving, whispering those three words and eight letters to me as much as he could while rocking into me and pushing me over to the edge. And I knew that night that I wasn’t far off from feeling the same way or saying those words back to him, either.  



Liv was stood beside me, sipping from her plastic coffee cup and looking out at the gas station we’d made a pit stop at during our trip back home. Even though Zayn and Louis lived in Yorkshire, we were all going to go back to our flats in London before leaving for home. Currently, Niall, Layla, Louis and Zoe were knocked out sleeping while Liam, Zayn and Harry filled up the cars with gas.

Me and Liv went to grab some coffee from the convenience store at the gas station and were stretching out our legs. It occurred to me that this was the perfect time to ask Liv what was up with her. I had a feeling she knew I’d ask her and had avoided me all weekend to prolong the inevitable, but she couldn’t run from it forever.

“Had a good time?” I asked her.

Liv nodded with a small smile. “Feeling wrecked from all the drinking, though.”

“Yeah, you went a bit hard,” I said. “It’s okay, though. You had a great time. Life’s too short to be all sensible all the time.” Liv giggled and nodded her head in agreement. I took a sip of my coffee before speaking again, feeling warm in the lavender jumper that I had finally stolen from Harry. “Have you been alright?”

She turned to look at me, but avoided eye contact and shrugged. “I’ve had better days.”

“What’s going on, Liv?” I asked her, my voice shaking. “I know you’re not opening up to me and I’m really trying to understand why, but I need you to help me out because I’m so worried about you.”

Liv looked guilty, her eyes shiny as she met my gaze. “I didn’t mean to worry you,” she promised. “I really didn’t. I just didn’t want to talk about it. But -- uh -- Aiden and I broke up. Like, right before we left.”

“The night before?” I asked her sadly.

She nodded her head. “I mean it was mutual, but I don’t know. There’s just a lot on my mind that I’m not quite ready to talk about yet. So, yeah, it still felt shit, you know?”

“I understand, babe,” I said to her. “You’ll be alright. We all fucking love you no matter what, you know that right?”

Liv looked at me for a moment, like she almost knew what I was talking about before nodding her head with a small smile. “Yeah, I know. Thank you.”

I smiled at her before pulling her into a big hug. Liv let herself sink into it like she needed it more than anything and I didn’t pull away -- not until the boys told us that we were ready to go.