Breathe

Harry’s lips were soft and grounding, pulling me in with every nip and lick and pull. My hands were clutching onto his shirt for dear life, scared that if I let go for a second, he’d disappear and I’d lose him for good. And I couldn’t do that -- I wasn’t going to let him walk away from me anymore. Harry’s hands moved up from my sides as he broke the kiss to look at me for a moment. It was then that I realized I was still crying, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes and trailing down my cheeks.

Harry looked sad, bringing his hands up to hold my face, and then leaned in to place kisses over my tears, making me pull him closer because it felt like my chest was going to burst any second. I was feeling so much of everything for Harry that it was all-consuming and overwhelming. I hadn’t felt this torn down in a long, long time and I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted Harry to do what he wanted to do for his future; however, it was breaking me apart to watch him go after all this time. It was only intensifying with the way he was kissing me -- soft and loving -- like he didn’t want to leave me either.

“Harry,” I said with a broken sob.

“Sshh, B,” he cooed, still littering kisses across my face. “I’m here. I’m here -- it’s okay.”

“Don’t go to fucking Manchester,” I breathed out, shaking my head. I wasn’t able to help myself anymore. If I didn’t tell Harry how I felt now -- I might not be able to ever again. “Don’t go. Be with me...I -- I love you.”

Harry looked stunned, his eyes glossy and torn apart as well. “Blair,” Harry breathed out, leaning forward to place another kiss on my lips, trailing a few across my cheek and even one on my nose.

"No," I shook my head again, forcing him to look at me. Kissing me now wasn’t going to be enough. I needed something more than that -- I needed Harry to still love me. And if the way things had been going this past month was anything to go by then I had a small hunch that he might. It was just a small spark, a flicker, but it was enough to give me a sense of hope in that moment because I was desperate. "Tell me you won't go, Harry -- I need you to tell me that."

"I won't go," Harry replied instantly without missing a beat, his expression earnest, as he looked me in the eyes. "I'm not leaving you -- not again. I love you, too, B."

My face crumpled, more tears falling from my eyes, and I let out another sob, wrapping my arms around Harry and hugging him close. I was meant to be smiling and overjoyed, but I just felt worn down. I'd wanted Harry to tell me that he loved me again for years and after a while, I accepted the fact that that would only happen in my dreams. I didn’t know what else to do now that he’d said it because I’d forced myself to believe that Harry and I weren't meant to be together and that he'd never be mine again.

But now, he was hugging me exactly how I wanted him to while whispering I love you over and over again in my ear, and I knew this was it. Harry was it and we were going to make it.



Carrying all of Harry's things from the car and back into the flat took longer than it did when we carried them out. It might have felt that way because when we were taking his things to the car, we wanted time to slow down so that he wouldn't have to go so soon, and when we were taking them back, we wanted time to speed up so that we could finally be back into each other’s arms again. Keeping that in mind helped Harry and I to move as fast as we could and once we placed the last box on the carpet beside the couch, Harry let out a sigh of relief before turning back to me.

He smiled, eyes a little red from tearing up before, and walked up to me. I smiled back, extending my hands, Harry taking them and pulling me closer. The moment our chests were pressed together, I felt something warm and content settle in my stomach. Harry’s hands slid down from my upper back to lower, resting right above the curve of my bum.

It never took long for the air to become charged between us. We didn’t even have to be doing anything besides simply looking at each other and instantly, I felt my heart beat a little faster. “Let’s go to my room,” he suggested, like it wasn’t obvious that was exactly where I wanted to be at that moment. Preferably with no clothes on and under the covers, though, I knew that we both had a few things to say.

“Yeah, okay,” I nodded, turning to head to the bedroom. Harry followed, his hands holding onto my waist from behind, but then stopped us when we reached the doorway.

I looked at him to see if he was okay, only to have the ground disappear from below my feet as Harry lifted me up, bridal style. “What are you doing?” I sputtered with a laugh.

“Just doing this proper,” Harry replied smugly, adjusting his hands under my knees and on my back while I looped my arms around his neck.

“Not like this is our wedding night...Christ,” I giggled.

“We’ll get to that eventually,” Harry replied.

“Oh my god,” I groaned, warmth spreading through my cheeks.

Harry grinned, biting down on his lower lip, as he finally walked into his bedroom. I’d expected him to deposit me on top of his bed, staring at the soft surface eagerly for what was to come, but then he sidetracked and moved over to the bay window, instead. He sat us both down, holding me on his lap, and leaned back against the window with a yawn.

“Are you exhausted?” was the first thing he asked me.

I burst out laughing, realizing then that I really fucking was. The two of us hadn’t slept a wink all night and since then we’d basically moved Harry out, only to move him back in and with the added weight of our emotions going a full 360 within a few short hours, I knew we were both proper beat. I smoothed out Harry’s face, thumbing against his cheekbones to soothe him as he fluttered his eyes shut.

“Yeah, I’m tired.”

“We should take a nap and then talk.”

“But, I wanna talk now,” I insisted despite a yawn escaping my lips. “We have so much to talk about.” I looped my arms around Harry again, resting my head against his chest, listening to the thump of his heartbeat.

Harry let out a breathy chuckle. “You’re literally falling asleep on me right now.”

“No, I’m not. I’m just resting a little.” Harry hummed in response, placing his palm on my back and stroking it softly. It felt amazing and I almost felt my eyes drift shut, but my mind was going a mile a minute, even though my body wasn’t able to keep up with it anymore. We really needed to talk things through and determine whether we were on the same page or not. So much had happened and I felt myself still stuck on the image of Harry running to me. I looked up at Harry, finding his eyes shut, but knew he wasn’t asleep because his hand was still moving on my back. “I can’t believe you came back.”

Harry chuckled again, leaning down to press a kiss on my head. “Not that surprising, to be honest. I’ve always been terrible at walking away from you.”

“Not to sound bitter or anything, but you did walk away, like, a few times,” I retorted.  

“Yeah, but barely,” Harry answered, laughing. “The first time we broke up in my room, I didn’t want you to leave at all -- in fact, if I remember correctly, I even wanted to take you back home, but you said you wanted to leave on your own. At the coffee shop, I ran back to you...and did the same today, but this time it’s for good.”

“Yeah?” I smiled.

“Yeah,” Harry smiled back. “I’m tired of saying goodbye to you. Driving away from you like that felt like the worst possible decision and I just realized, fuck...what am I doing? So, I stopped my car and just fucking ran.”

I laughed softly, thinking back to that moment. It felt surreal -- all of it did. My history with Harry spanned about three years and in those three years, we’d done a full circle. We came into each other’s lives only to leave and then come back again and I could honestly say, I’d never felt as strongly for anyone in my life like I did for him. It was maddening and crazy what he still did to me even after all these years. Even while we were apart, he was never far from my mind nor my heart. So, it just felt crazy to me that he was here and that we were hopefully together again.

“You stopped your car in the middle of the road.”

“Yep,” Harry nodded. “Quite dramatic, but I didn't really think anything other than getting back to you."

"I'm happy you did. I was having a meltdown in the streets as soon as you left."

"Actually a bit surprised by that," Harry said, looking down at me. "You seemed fine the entire time. Very supportive and what not. I thought you were okay and then..."

"Yeah, well, I'm a better actor than I thought then because I’ve been anything but okay with you leaving."

“I hate it when you cry, B,” Harry said, his voice growing a bit more serious. “I’m so sorry. That will be the last time I ever make you cry, I promise." He paused, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I hope you know that I love you -- so much."

It'd been an hour since Harry had last said those three words to me and I'd said it to him, but it was still enough to render me speechless, heart thudding in my chest.

"I -- I love you, Blair," Harry repeated. "And I don't know if this is too soon or if it feels like it's coming out of nowhere, but I've spent the last two years wondering why I ever left you because it was stupid. I've always been in love with you -- after all these years it's still you."

"It's not," I shook my head quickly. "Not too soon or random...it's perfect because I'm still in love with you, too. I never stopped."

Harry let out a watery laugh that sounded almost like relief, green eyes twinkling. "I don't really deserve it after all that I did to you that summer. It was out of sheer spite and pent up anger over something, I realized over time, that wasn't even your fault. If we ever have problems we can talk things out now because we know better now. We won’t make the same mistakes again. I'm really sorry about that and I'll give my all to make it up to you. But -- I do love you. Completely. I never stopped either.”

I felt myself tearing up again at Harry’s mention of the reason we broke up all those years ago. I’d wanted him to see it this way so much and for so long that to hear him say it now was also overwhelming along with everything else today. At this point, it didn’t really matter anymore. Josh meant nothing to either of us and what had happened seemed small in comparison to everything as Harry had said, but it still meant a lot to hear him say that.

“I’m glad,” I said rubbing at my eyes. “I had forgiven you a long time ago, but still -- thank you.”

Harry smiled, wiping my tears with his thumb. “I guess what I’m really trying to say is that you help me be the best version of me that I could possibly be. I don't ever doubt myself when I'm with you and I've never found that in anyone. No one else seems to compare to you, B, and I want to be with you...wanna be in your life again."

I nodded shakily a few times, agreeing without a second thought, and smiled, feeling my heart swell up.

Harry smiled, dimples sinking in, suddenly shy as he played with the bun on his head. "I want you to be my girlfriend again.”

"Want that, too, H," I replied, just as shy, my cheeks warming up. "Wanna be yours again."

Harry's hand slid around my waist and down to my bum, his fingers giving it a possessive squeeze. "C'mere," he mumbled, dipping his head down to level with mine.

I met him halfway in a thorough kiss, one that was enough to make my toes curl and a shiver run down my spine. Harry's mouth was hot and addicting, just like I remembered it, and couldn't help the soft moans slipping out of my lips as the two of us snogged, getting familiar with each other again. All the while, Harry’s hand roamed my body, skimming and prodding over my skin before he let two of his fingers slide once and twice between my legs. He eventually settled them on the hem of my shorts, fiddling with the button.

I felt his kisses slow down while he worked on pulling off my shorts. Once he got them off, he didn't stop, fingers hovering over the hem of my lilac pants with the lace trim. Harry bit his lip, looking at me softly with question in his eyes.

I replied by pressing even closer and latching my lips on his neck, biting and licking it with an intention to leave a mark. Harry took that as a sign and easily slid off my pants, putting them beside my shorts. He then helped me straddle his legs and once I was situated I could feel how hard he was in his jeans. I placed one of my hands on his shaft over the fabric of his jeans as Harry captured my lips in another kiss. He was gasping and moaning into my mouth the more I rubbed over him and let his hands move under my top, grabbing onto my boobs over my bra and toying with them.

“Off,” he mumbled breathlessly his hands now on the hem of my shirt. I complied, feeling breathless and eager, lifting my hands up so that he could pull my shirt off and discard it beside us. Harry’s eyes grew even darker as he let them linger on my bare body clad in only a bra. “Fuck.”

“What?” I questioned in a whisper, letting my own fingers start to unbutton his button down shirt.

“Just -- you’re so -- I don’t know -- it’s you.”

“What do you mean?” I laughed, successfully having unbuttoned all the buttons and in the process of taking his shirt off.

“I mean that you’re fucking hot and I want you,” Harry huffed out, sliding me closer by gripping on to the bottom my bum so that he could kiss me. It would have been a hot kiss if the two of us weren’t laughing, but it didn’t stop us from trying anyway. Harry started to touch me just about everywhere like he wasn’t able to help himself and couldn’t decide where he wanted to stop. His eyes landed on my breathe tattoo and he started tracing over it while his other hand moved between my legs, pointer finger rubbing over my clit as though he was doing it absentmindedly.

“I got that a few months ago,” I told him, trying to keep my voice from shaking at the way Harry’s finger was touching me.  

“It’s beautiful,” Harry replied, licking his lips. It was no secret that Harry had always found my tattoos hot, but when his finger ceased to stop and was going faster, I let out a loud moan, my head resting over his shoulder. "You close, baby?" Harry asked, letting one of his fingers dip inside.

I nodded my head jerkily. "Don't want to come this way, though. Wanna come with you inside of me."

Harry swore under his breath, retracting his fingers only to bring it between his lips and sucking it clean. I was going to die and it was going to be because of him being obscene. "I've got some condoms in here, I think," he told me, leaning over and rummaging through one of his boxes that we’d placed there, labeled BEDSIDE TABLE. Luckily enough, he found a box of condoms and quickly picked one out. I slid back on Harry’s lap a bit to give him room to unbutton his jeans.

It felt weird to have to use a condom with Harry. I was still on the pill and hadn’t done it raw with anyone else except him, but hadn’t told Harry as much. However, it would be extremely unsafe because neither of us knew how many people we slept with and neither of us have gotten checked out at the clinic yet. Maybe that could be done soon because I didn't want Harry to put on a condom for me -- I wanted everything to be different with him, including this.

I watched quietly as Harry unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans and pants, pushing them down to the middle of his thighs, his cock curling up towards his stomach, looking red and painfully hard. Harry fisted it once or twice to sooth it a bit before rolling on the condom. I was so transfixed on Harry’s dick and what he was doing, that I missed the fact that he was ready.

“Earth to Blair,” Harry laughed, looking at me fondly.

I blushed, crimson red, and rolled my eyes. “Whatever. Let’s just...do it.”

Harry laughed even harder, grabbing me by the back of my head and pulling me in for a deep, open mouthed kiss. “Love you,” he mumbled against my lips.

“Only love your dick.”

“I’ll learn to live with that.”

This time I was laughing into his mouth, but with the way Harry continued to kiss me, I quickly got back in the mood, eager to have him inside of me. It wasn’t unusual for either of us to fool around like this during sex. When we used to date, we’d get distracted easily and have full length conversations in the middle of sex before actually getting to the sex, and it made me happy knowing that that hadn’t gone away.

Harry’s hands wrapped around his shaft again where he held it between my legs, prodding at my entrance with slight pressure and rubbing it back and forth, making me feel even more restless. “Harry,” I whimpered, trying to push him in myself. He let out another breathy laugh before he was inside of me in one hard thrust.

I let out a semi-loud whimper, really feeling the stretch due to the fact that I hadn’t had sex in a long time. Plus, Harry was always on the big side, so it took a bit more effort for him to slide in without hurting. He was gentle, though, going a bit slower than we usually would have before. I could tell it was hard for him if his expression was anything to go by. He was moaning deeply, face hidden in the crook of my neck while helping me move up and down until we found a good rhythm.

Once the slide became easier and I could feel my orgasm starting to build up again, I started moving on my own without Harry’s help. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, holding myself steady, while grinding down and riding him. It felt like something on another level. It’d been two years since the last time Harry and I had sex, but at that time things were on edge between us, the line blurring between being still in love and broken up. The night had ended in us having a fight and that wasn’t memorable at all, although if I tried hard enough, the memories were as vivid as ever. However, things weren't like that today and nothing made me happier than the fact that we were finally back together in every possible sense.

Harry’s big hands were curved around my waist while he busied himself by sucking bruises into my neck. His lips trailed up, leaving wet kisses as he went, and I was half shivering, half giggling when his tongue swiped out into my ear. Harry chuckled at my reaction, continuing to leave kisses across my jaw. “So perfect,” he said. “I’m so happy you’re mine again.”

“Never was gonna be anyone’s other than yours, was I?” I asked him. “Not with how much I love you.”

Harry looked speechless and wonderstruck for a moment before a slow smile started to form on his lips and he shook his head. “No, baby. Not with the way I love you, either.”

We kissed again, almost like we were making up for lost time and continued to meet each other’s thrusts while getting closer to our orgasms. We weren’t going at a particular fast rate, our thrusts more languid than anything due to our exhaustion, but it felt amazing. I could tell when Harry started to get close, his pants mixing in with moans.

“Are you close, B?” he asked.

“Almost,” I nodded.

At that, Harry tugged me closer, curving my back so that my boobs were right in front of him. He pulled down the straps, wrapping his lips around one of my nipples, sucking and softly biting while one of his hands covered the other one, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger, making it hard. It was enough to get me to where he was and also enough to make me louder than I’d been. I continued to rock down, swiveling my hips, and feeling the heat build up in the pit of my stomach.

When Harry sucked down particularly hard to leave a bite mark, I finally let go with a moan, coming harder than I had in a long time. Harry followed suit, shooting into the condom and closing his eyes, letting his head rest back on the window. We were breathless while coming down from our highs and I felt my body starting to finally give out from how tired I was.

“Bed,” I mumbled, resting my head against Harry’s chest.

“Bed,” Harry agreed, pulling out of me and taking off his rubber. He trashed it in the bin beside his desk and helped pick me up before walking the two of us to the bed. I rolled over once he placed me down and wiggled underneath the covers. Harry pulled his jeans and pants all the way off and crawled in beside me. He pulled me close against his chest, pressing a small kiss on my lips. “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” I whispered back, letting myself slowly drift to sleep.



I eyed the bacon on the two plates that were beside me, contemplating on whether or not I should grab a piece. I’d already sneaked one without Harry looking, but in my defense they were from my own plate, and I was starving. I quickly glanced over at Harry, who was busy making our eggs, and grabbed a piece before putting it in my mouth all in one bite.

“Saw that,” Harry smirked, his eyes trained on the hob.

I groaned out loud, partially for getting caught and also because it was so good. “Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled through my chewing. “I’m hungry. I didn’t realize it’d take you this long to cook us a meal.”

“I promised a full English breakfast. Have you any idea how long that takes?”

“Yeah, but have you any idea how long we haven’t eaten?” I asked, proper dramatic and all. “It’s nearly dinner time and the last thing we had was coffee the night before.”

After our little reunion and rendezvous by the bay window, Harry and I knocked out right away and didn’t wake up until an hour ago with the sky turning dark and our tummies grumbling in protest from how empty they were. We’d been lazy in getting up, snogging a bit before finally getting out of bed and half arsedly putting on some clothes to eat something. Harry was obviously cooking, but I was getting impatient while sat on the countertop beside him. It was also proving to be quite distracting because Harry kept settling himself between my knees and kissing me, forgetting about our food, thus making the process slower.

I wasn’t complaining, though. I could kiss Harry for hours and not have food, but still be content.

“I’m almost done, I promise,” Harry cooed to me, wrapping one arm around my waist and giving me a few kisses while holding the spatula with the other. It shouldn’t be that hot, but it was. He was only wearing a pair of joggers and nothing else, giving me his shirt to wear over my pants. The whole thing felt super domestic and I loved the fact that it was this easy for us to fall back together despite the years apart.

“Fine, but I get to nibble a bit,” I propositioned.

“Alright,” Harry laughed. “Do you want to eat out here or go back to bed?”

“Anything you want.”

Harry smiled sheepishly as an idea occurred to him. “Let’s go back to bed. We could pull out my laptop and watch How I Met Your Mother from the start.”

“That’d be nice,” I grinned.

“Yeah,” Harry said. “I’ve spent too many nights watching How I Met Your Mother alone. Now that I have you back…” Harry smiled, looking up at me softly. “I’d honestly say that you’re my yellow umbrella, but I think you’re my Robin, instead.”

I frowned in confusion a bit, but smiled nonetheless. The yellow umbrella belonged to the mother on the show and throughout the seasons in the beginning, Ted would tease the viewers about that in his voiceover. He had many encounters with the yellow umbrella and would always be so close to meeting the mother, only to not until the very last season when she was revealed.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Harry placed his spatula beside the hob and turning it off before standing between my legs again. His two hands were on either of my sides, resting over the counter, and he was looking up at me with a gleam in his eye.

“Don’t tell me you forgot,” he said. “You were the one that told me the night we finished the show.”

“What did I say?” I asked with a nervous laugh, getting extremely curious now.

“You told me that the mother was important to Ted, even though she died in the end, but Robin and Ted were always going to come back to one another no matter what happened. They were each other’s ones. Like, that one person in your life who you may or may not end up with, but will always come back to. For Ted, he met many wonderful women and even settled down with one, but it was always going to be Robin for him.”

I smiled shyly, biting on my lip. I could feel my heart beating in my chest and my stomach fluttering. If Harry was saying what I thought he was, then... “So, you’re Ted and I’m your Robin?”

Harry nodded, biting his lip while looking at me. “I once read online that everyone has a Robin -- the one that they love very much, but couldn’t be with because of some twist of fate. And no matter who you met or whatever you did, nothing will be like it would be with your Robin. That’s how I feel about you, babe.” Harry straightened up, placing both of his hands on my thighs where my own hands were. He entwined our fingers together and brought them up to kiss each of them. “I watched the show so many times over the past two years, always thinking about you, and I remember this one particular episode that really struck out.”

“Which one was that?”

“It was one from season nine. Ted had said that you will discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why when you find someone who you want to keep around, you do something about it. I’ve been thinking about that quote for the past two weeks since I got the pupilage in Manchester. I got you back after I’d thought I lost you forever, but was I really going to be stupid enough to lose you again?”

I suddenly forgot all about eating now that my heart was swelling up again and my smile was big enough to split my face. “C’mere, my Ted,” I giggled, wrapping my legs around his waist and dipping down to kiss his lips.

Harry grinned into it, but kissed back, his one hand grabbing my bum while the other one reached underneath my shirt to roam over my skin. We were getting pretty into it, one of Harry’s hands having slipped past the hem of my pants, and grappling at bare skin.

“Holy shit.”

We both broke apart, startled as we turned to see Niall standing at doorway to the kitchen, eyes wide as he took in the scene before him.

“Oh my God, Niall,” Harry groaned, laughing as he rested his head on my shoulder to hide his face. I was blushing, trying to not make eye contact, but this wasn’t the first time this happened -- this being Niall walking in on us getting frisky. In fact, there were times when it was even more indecent.

Niall ignored Harry’s protest, walking further into the kitchen as he surveyed the food and then us. “Is this -- is this official?” he asked disbelievingly.

“Yes, Niall,” Harry said, looking up at him. “This is official. We’re back together.”

“Fuck,” Niall yelled, a grin forming on his lip. “Shit. I’ve gotta -- oh my god -- I’ve got to --.” Niall bolted out of the room, running out of the flat and I turned to look at Harry with a bewildered expression that he matched. Moments later, Niall was pulling Louis and Zayn from across the hall while he held his phone in his ear.

“Harry and Blair are back together, guys,” he yelled both into the phone and at the other boys, who were looking at us with raised eyebrows and smirks on their faces. “They’re officially back together. Harry didn’t go to Manchester. He stayed and they’re each other’s lobsters.”