A Life Cycle Reborn

Going back to the people that were in Robin's life, the day after my sister, Samantha's birthday. My parents are exhausted from all of the running around and making telephone calls to the rest of the family. They have been up all night. Kyle is in the hospital and my body is in a fridge waiting to be prepared for the funeral. At least my corpse didn't go to waste. Last night the doctors were able to talk to my parents about my wishes of being an organ donor. They managed to harvest a few vital organs that were protected by my rib cage before that window of being able to harvest them closed. Kyle is going to remain in a coma for the week as his body heals. He won't be awake for my funeral. His parents are now by his side along with my brother Brandon. Samantha and my parents were with them, and my dad finally got the courage to go home with Samantha and Mom to rest.

Roger and Liz are Kyle's parents. They are clearly tired because they are about a five-hour drive from us, and they made the trip to Kyle's bedside last night as soon as they heard what had happened. They love their son dearly. He is the youngest of his family and has one older sister, Tammy. She will be making the drive to see Kyle this evening to be with the family.

Brandon sees the fatigue and grief on their faces and decides to speak up to encourage them to go home and rest. "How are you two doing?"

Roger pipes up, breaking the silence, he is clearly tired. "I am as okay as I can be for the moment." Liz is resting in a chair; her hand is holding Kyle's and is none responsive to Brandon's words.

Brandon continues, "Do you think it is time to head home? I mean to Kyle and Robin's home. Their dog is at home by himself, and he probably needs to be fed and let out. Do you think we should at least head over to care for Smarty?" Brandon asks carefully.

Roger responds, "Yah we should head out now and get that out of the way. Liz what do you think about that?"

Liz is trying to ignore the conversation, but because the discussion is now waiting for her response, she forces herself to murmur. "What about Kyle, can't I stay, and you two can go home and rest?" She isn't thinking straight, and the two men know that she is hurting for her son and his heartache to come. She doesn't want to face the reality that her son's life is going to be rough when he wakes up.

"Come on Honey lets go with Brandon." Roger says to her in a quiet, but soothing voice.

"I need to be here." Liz is a little flustered at the thought of leaving and is holding onto Kyle's hand and not wanting to let go.

Roger convinces her. "Liz dear, the doctors are keeping him asleep for the next six days at the least. If he were awake, he would urge you to go home and get some rest. Come on love, Brandon is going to take our car and drive us back to Kyle's." Liz reluctantly comes around and Roger lightly massages her shoulders while she is still sitting in the chair next to Kyle's bed and he gently reaches down and takes her hand from Kyle's into his own hand.

"Come on Liz", he murmurs. Liz slowly gets up and reaches over the bed, giving her son a kiss. Brandon leads the way out of the room with Roger and Liz following behind. Roger, guiding his wife, holding her with his arm around her shoulders, walking side by side, as Liz takes one last look at her son with a quick glance over her shoulder as they leave the room.

It is the early hours of the morning and Brandon and my in-laws are on their way. My mom, dad and sister are already home, and they are finally drifting off into sleep. Samantha is asleep in her own room. For her, it is now sinking in and unfortunately feeling very real. She has curled up in her bed and has cried herself to sleep. For my mom and dad it hasn't sunken in yet, it doesn't feel real to them, but none the less they are finally resting.

My dad, I hope that he doesn't bottle any of this stress up and I wish that he could get some peaceful rest before it sinks in. Like any other dad, he wants to be strong for his family, but sometimes acting in that role can take its toll. I hope that he can see when that happens and be strong enough to take a step back. My beautiful mom, I wonder what she is dreaming about? I hope her dream is taking her to a place that is less tragic than this reality.

I remember a few years back my mom once admitted to me that she had dreamed more than once that she was giving birth when she was pregnant with me but when I was born in her dream I was a baby horse instead of a human baby. We had laughed about it and we thought, how odd that I ended up being a child and then an adult who had such a huge passion for horses and equestrian riding. I was never influenced to love horses in this past life as Robin. I didn't have friends who introduced me to the sport. Neither my mom nor anyone in my family ever rode. I don't recall any artwork, or paintings in the home that had any relation to horses. I seemed to develop this passion on my own and without the influence or introduction to the sport by others. It is funny in the state that I am in, I can put the pieces together, and it is humorous that my mom had these dreams when she was carrying me in her belly. In a way, it was a premonition to my hobby, but really, she had an insight from my past. That was what my soul was before I became Robin; I had lived the life of a horse.

I was nothing special in my past lives, or the life before I was born as Robin. I was never an overly intelligent being, I didn't aide in advancing a civilization, like finding the cure for a disease, or anything special like that. I didn't come from riches, and I was never any sort of idol like, a movie star, or professional athlete. It never works quite the same, as you leave one life you don't necessarily jump into a new life right away. Don't get me wrong, you can if you wanted to, but for me, I have always re-collected myself and remembered what I have done and what I would like to do, to be, and to experience.

Going back to my last day as Robin, after work on the drive home, when I was thinking about the psychic on the radio, that I still think and know that they are full of shit, but what I didn't realize in the car that I realize now is the beliefs that people have. Souls do sometimes linger. It is not what you think though. When you are just a soul you can see everything you want to see, you can't go back in time, but you can see everything that you want to see and know stuff as it happens, kind of like being in two or more places at once, if you feel that you need to be.

My soul has taken many forms. When you leave a life behind you have the choice to decide on what form you want to take. If you want to be a human you can, but you can't decide where you will come into the world, or if you will be born into riches, or poverty. You can take the form of any living creature. If your soul wants a good rest, you can take the life of a plant and sleep as little as a season, like if you choose to become a flower, or a blade of grass, or you can sleep for thousands of years if you become a monstrous tree in a tropical forest. My soul has done that, I have slept; it has been awhile since I have taken on the form of a plant, I am not quite ready for a rest yet, but I do need to think about what I will become next; maybe a bird?

The weird thing is I have never taken on the form of a male although it would probably be very interesting. I do think the male body is fascinating, but it is just not me. I think that I have always been and have picked a female form because it is familiar and comfortable to me. There was one life that I had really enjoyed a long time ago and I will tell you about it now.