The One During Winter

December 2014 (Blair)

Frost covered the car windows, snow falling steadily and draping over the cold ground. There was a chill in the air that seeped through the car doors and glass windows, making me shiver in my seat.  I clutched my warm coffee cup between my gloved hands to take in as much heat as possible. Harry had the heater on full blast while the radio played a Christmas channel lowly in the background.

It hadn’t snowed like this in almost three years, but that wasn’t enough to get Harry and me to stay home and study for our finals like good students. Instead, we decided to take a break, drink some coffee, and drive through the heavy snow to clear our heads.

“You’re insane,” Harry said to me from the driver’s seat. “I don’t understand how you can say Marshall was right in forgiving Lily for leaving him like that in season one.”

“She had to figure herself out,” I refuted. “She did what she had to do!”

“Except she could have told him that rather than just left him cold turkey.”

“It was difficult for her. I mean, her relationship with Marshall was all she’d known since she was in college. Those are crucial growing years. Unless you spend some time with yourself, you won’t know who you are at all, which is important.”

Harry sighed, leaning back against his seat, his hand holding his coffee cup securely. “Why can’t you just admit I’m right?”

“Because you’re not!” I let out a bout of laughter. “Marshall and Lily are soulmates, Harry. They’re bound to make mistakes, and have several times before she left him that one time. The fact that Marshall forgave Lily proved that despite her hurting him, he knew she was sorry and he felt that their relationship was bigger than whatever Lily did.”

I could see that Harry was already letting what I’d said sink in properly and seeing the situation from a new light. The boy was a sucker for romance talks. He loved the concept of soulmates and finding the one, so I knew I hit the nail on the head with that explanation and argument. It was surprising he hadn’t realized it sooner himself.

As I took a sip of my coffee, I asked,” So, do you agree yet or not?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he grumbled, sorely admitting defeat.

I threw my head back against the headrest in laughter before glancing forward at the windshield. Somehow, between the time we got to the coffee shop and now, the snow had started falling in even thicker flakes, practically covering all the windows to the point where we couldn’t even see what was outside. Harry seemed to have realized it at the same time I did and we both turned to look at each other with wide eyes.

“Should we head out?” he asked.

“Definitely,” I replied, nodding my head. “Want to try to clean the car first?”

“We sort of have to. I can’t see shit anymore.”

Grabbing his snow wiper from the back seat, the two of us opened our doors only to realize that the snow had fallen so high up that it was blocking the door from being opened. We promptly shut them so that no snow came inside. “Holy shit,” Harry mumbled. “When did it get this bad?”

“I have no idea,” I responded. “I didn’t even check for any weather alerts for snowstorms, but this definitely looks like one.”

Harry let out a nervous chuckle, taking off his grey beanie and running a hand through his messy, curly hair. “I guess we could, like, call for help?”

“The police?” I asked.

“They probably can’t do anything. It’ll most likely be firemen.”

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief, realizing how utterly stupid this all was. We were actually snowed into Harry’s car just because we lost track of time. Harry took out his phone, making the emergency call and alerting them about our situation. The operator told us a truck will be over as soon as possible, but that it may take a while. With the sudden change in weather and bigger accidents that happened throughout the city, it made sense.  

So, we waited. An eerie quiet fell across the car, which was strange. When it came to Harry and I, we were usually so chatty with each other.  I had a feeling that it probably had to be due to the fact that we were both so nervous. It didn't help that being in the quiet at night made me sleepy.  As I contemplated a nap, Harry spoke up, breaking the silence.

“I hate to be a bummer,” he began, “but I’m about to run out of gas. I think I’ll have to shut the car off.”

“Oh, okay,” I replied, only to realize as he did so, we were no longer going to have any heat.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

I grabbed my coat and bundled up -- even putting on my hat -- and the two of us continued to sit there, patiently waiting for the truck to come in the freezing cold. Both our coffees were long gone, too, and it got to the point where it was so quiet, that when Harry started laughing, I jumped in my seat.

His eyes were crinkled, tears springing in the corners as he squirmed in his seat in laughter. “What -- what are you laughing about?” I asked him warily.

“Just, like, everything that’s happened now,” he snickered. Looking at him, I started laughing as well, and soon we were both in stitches, the car windows fogging up furthermore from our breaths. “How did this happen?” Harry gasped for breath. “And where the fuck is the truck? I feel like we’ve been waiting for hours.”

“It’s nearly sunrise.”

“Fucking hell. And do you know how fucking cold I am?” he asked, reaching over to place his fingertips over my cheek, making me wince and move away from him.

“Stop,” I half whined, half giggled, trying to push him away.

“I’m so cold. I think I’m going to freeze and get hypothermia or something. My balls might fall off, too.” Harry burst into another fit of giggles, and I scooted closer again, wrapping my arms around him over the center console and gearshift.

“I’ll attempt to warm you up with my body heat. We can’t have your balls falling off,” I told him.

“You’re an absolute saint. Always thinking about my dick.”

I shoved him harshly and he cackled in amusement. “Stupid joke. Let it go already.”

“Absolutely not!”

Rolling my eyes, I continued to stay in my spot with my arms wrapped around him. Our body temperatures together somewhat made up for the lack of heat.

Harry sighed tiredly after some time. “Blair...do you think we’ll ever get out of here?”

“I don’t know, babes. I was hoping to see some of those hot firefighters, though.”

Harry broke into another fit of giggles and I hugged him tighter, closing my eyes and letting his laughter lull me to sleep. I felt exhausted, my body rigid from the cold, and all I could think about with my eyes closed were warm beds, pillows, and a cozy Harry hugging me. 



It took about another hour for the fire truck to come. By then Harry had fallen asleep as well, and we were woken up by the men shoveling the snow away from the car. Harry looked out at them blearily. “Our heroes,” he whispered dramatically, the two of us bursting out laughing again.

January 2016 (Harry)

Typically, I loved weddings. I was the guy that always got everyone dancing. I was the one mingling from person to person, catching up with those I knew and introducing myself to those I didn’t. I always cried during the ceremony and was one of the first to congratulate the bride and groom. I loved the symbolism of two people tying the knot and starting a new life together. It was a lucky opportunity to be able to witness that event in any couple’s life.

Which was why it was strange that I was sitting alone in a corner of the reception of my step brother, Mike’s, wedding. Mike married his girlfriend of three years, Chelsea, and they were a beautiful couple. The whole event was magical, focusing on a winter theme to match the season. There wasn’t a dry eye in the Church earlier that day, and at the reception now, everyone was happy and drunk. Except for me. I was drunk, sure, but not happy.

This entire day, the only person I could think about was Blair. It wasn’t an unnatural occurrence to think about her because she still crossed my mind all the time. But not like this -- not in this despairing way that brought me back to how I felt when the wound was still fresh and I was hugging her goodbye in the rain. It had been nearly five months since that day, and yet I still couldn’t get over her. I couldn’t say it was for lack of trying I knew that I couldn’t keep holding on to her when I was the one that let her go in the first place. But my efforts were minimal at best. She was still there -- always there. Even when there were other girls, like Violet, who’d entered my life out of nowhere.

In a way, my first experience with uni was all about the social life. Being in a fraternity, I was constantly surrounded by friends and lifelong brothers. There was a party every weekend and because of that, I knew pretty much the entire school population. But I took on law school differently. I was a bit more subdued and wanted to focus on the school work. But a few guys from my classes were persistent in getting to know me and inviting me to study with them. Somewhere along the line, Violet started joining us, too.

I wasn’t clueless -- I could see through all her advances and suggestive comments. She was bordering on both subtle and not so subtle, playing her game just right. Four years of watching my friends pull taught me everything I needed to know regarding signs if someone liked you. In fact, I pulled quite a bit myself sometime a year ago. I just didn’t know how to handle it anymore. I was in this weird limbo of holding on to something that I thought was forever and trying to let it go at the same time.

Because of this, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I was wrong and made a mistake in ending things with Blair. Did I do the right thing or did I just lose the love of my life? Clearly I still had feelings for her, otherwise I wouldn’t be moping at a wedding reception looking like a sad sod. There were couples all around me, dancing and smiling with each other, and I always thought that that was how Blair and I were going to be. I pictured her so far in my future that not having her in my present anymore made me wonder why the fuck things ended the way they did or at all. If I could have gotten past all the hurt then maybe she’d have been here with me now, sitting by my side. Or even dancing with me out there.

There was this one time a year ago around finals when we’d both gotten stuck in my car during a snowstorm. It was a pretty catastrophic experience, but I remembered prior to that Blair and I had been discussing when Lily left Marshall in season one of How I Met Your Mother. I had thought that what Lily had done was unforgivable, but Blair argued that to Marshall it didn’t matter because they were soulmates. And if your soulmate made a mistake, you could look past the awful things they mistakenly or sometimes knowingly did and forgive them because whatever happened wasn’t bigger than what you two were.

I had never thought of anyone as my soulmate before, but regardless, what Blair said to me had really struck me. There had to be a strong level of love and connection for someone to let go of grudges and mistakes and forgive. In that moment, while drunk at this wedding, I was highly considering letting everything go and just running back to Blair. I was even considering the idea that she may have been my soulmate. I couldn’t think of anyone else I connected with better -- or even wanting to connect with anyone else but her. Not even Violet, who was currently my present.

My hand reached for my phone, itching to talk to her, when my mum came and sat beside me. I looked to her, surprised and relieved. It wasn’t often that I drunk dialed or texted Blair anymore, but it had happened a few times, none of which had pleasant outcomes.  

“Hey Mum.”

Mum smiled to me meekly in response, putting an arm around me. “You alright, dear?” she asked.

I nodded my head shakily. “Just fine.”

I knew she didn’t believe me. Being as close as we were, we understood each other without saying a word. Even though she knew there was something going on, she didn’t press, but instead pulled me closer. “Love you, H. You’ll be alright. You know that, right?”

I closed my eyes with a soft sigh, letting my head rest over her shoulder, and just let myself be comforted for once. I was big on denying how I was really feeling -- how heartbroken I truly was -- but I didn’t want to pretend when it came to Mum. She knew everything about me and Blair and she knew how hard this was for me, so it felt nice to not have to put up a facade in front of her.

As everyone continued to dance in front of us, the DJ announced that the next track would be one for the couples. Everyone paired off as the slow melody of “You and Me” by Lifehouse started to play. The same exact song that Blair and I danced to in the quiet of my kitchen in Holmes Chapel. As if it couldn’t get worse, fake snow started falling down on the dance floor from the ceiling, and everyone cooed because it was like a picture perfect moment.


February 2018 (Blair)

In the middle of the night during one of London’s coldest nights, Harry’s heater broke. He couldn't call his stupor until the following morning, so the two of us grabbed all the blankets we could find in the linen closet and piled them all over us in his bed, building a warm cocoon around our intertwined bodies. It was a blissful sleep until I felt a cold draft seep through. Frowning, I peered my eyes open to see Harry getting out of bed.

I reached my hand out, trying to stop him. “Where are you going?” I asked quietly. The room still looked dark, the windows letting in a soft hue of light from the snow falling. It couldn’t have been time to wake up already. The sun was barely out.

“Got work,” Harry replied, his voice a touch hoarse from his sleep. “Sorry, B. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“But it’s so early,” I mumbled, trying to drag him back. It was futile since I wasn’t fully awake and all my limbs were feeling heavy.

“Tell me about it,” Harry mumbled before yawning as he stood up from the bed despite my attempts at trying to pull him back. “Got a 6 AM call at the firm.”

I pouted and Harry only smiled at me before wrapping me up once more with all the blankets. My eyes fluttered shut. I let the dark room, the quiet lull of the snow falling, and the wind howling outside put me back to sleep. I drifted in and out for a while after that, watching as Harry walked to his bathroom and came out with a towel wrapped around him, fresh from his hot shower. He dressed quickly in dress pants and a crisp, light blue shirt before grabbing his messenger bag and walking back over to me again.

“I’ll see you in a few hours,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss my forehead. “Love you, B.”

“Love you,” I whispered back with a soft smile.

December 2018 (Harry)

“Babe,” Blair whined, walking into the kitchen. “I’m so tired. Can’t we call it a night?”

I looked over at her, turning away from the box I was going through and emptying. “I’m almost done with the kitchen boxes. Just a bit more, but you go on to bed.”

“It’s nearly two in the morning, though. You need to rest, too. We can go to bed now and start again tomorrow,” she suggested, leaning her body against the frame of the kitchen door. A slow smirk formed on her lips. “Plus, I really wanted to christen our new place.”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise and I smirked back at her. She knew how much the fact that we had a place of our own did it for me. “Do you mean in our bedroom?”

“In our tiny, little home.”

I quickly got up from where I was bent down on the floor and made my way over to Blair. “Sold,” I whispered to her, leaning down to kiss her lips.

She kissed me back for a moment, chaste and quick, before pulling away. “You’re such a dog -- only want to listen to me when I talk about having sex.”

“Hey,” I objected. “You know I love you to bits, baby. Love you for more than your body and I always listen to you.”

“Cute, now take me to bed, please?” Blair smiled sweetly.

I grinned, wrapping an arm around Blair’s waist, and lowering my head to attach our lips together again. We were a mess of limbs, trying to make our way to the bedroom. It proved difficult as we still weren't accustomed to the new place and there were random boxes and piles lying all over the place, which we kept tripping over.

Blair didn't seem bothered. She licked into my mouth, clinging to me like glue and already making the softest of noises every time my fingertips pressed down on her skin. When we made it to our bedroom, which only consisted of a mattress and more boxes to unpack, I lowered Blair down on the bed. She pulled me down with her, rolling us over so that I was below her.

Climbing onto my lap, she tugged her t-shirt off, crossing her arms behind her back to unclasp her blue lace bra when she stopped. “What?” I asked, stroking over the soft skin of her stomach. “Don’t stop.”

“Did I lock the door?” she asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Hmm?” I asked, distracted by the goosebumps erupting all over Blair’s body from my touch. “What door?”

“The front door,” she answered, grabbing my hand to stop my movements. I tried not to pout. “You told me to lock it when I was done putting all our shoes away. But now I can't remember if I did or not.”

“I'm sure you did,” I reassured her, reaching behind her with my other hand to unclasp her bra myself. I slowly tugged it down, however, Blair’s brows were still furrowed. “Honestly, I don't even care about the front door. Just want you right now.”

“No, we need to care. We could get robbed, Harry.”

“What are the chances of that?” I laughed, sitting up and pressing our bodies together. I trailed several kisses across her neck, catching the way she shivered after each one.

“Pretty high, I’d reckon. There's a lot of robberies in London,” she disputed. “We could get murdered, too. This is dangerous.”

“And who would murder us? No one can get in through the front door unless we buzz them in.”

“Crazy neighbors?” Blair speculated, quirking an eyebrow. “Or crazy neighbors who stupidly let murderers inside on their way in.”

I huffed out an amused and frustrated laugh. “Are you trying to make me get up to lock the door while I’m hard and ready to go?”

“Well I'm not going out there. You've undressed me and baby, it’s cold out there.” She sang the last part, trying to appear cute so that I’d listen to her.

“So neither of us have to. Great.”

I promptly kissed her, trying to distract her from the situation at hand, and also to get her to shut up. It only worked for a few seconds. “Harry, c’mon,” she urged. “It'll take you a second.”

It was a lost cause. We were just not going to have sex for the first time in our flat unless I checked the door. I moved Blair aside and stood up, walking over to check the front door. Sure enough, it was locked. I walked back to the bedroom, feeling rather grumpy.

“Door was locked,” I said, only to find Blair completely naked. I gripped onto the doorframe to steady myself. “Oh my God,” I muttered dramatically.

Blair smiled, pleased with herself as she lay back on the bed, her hands roaming her body in a seductive manner. “Just wanted to say thank you for checking on the door for me.”

“You say thank you like this?” I asked, grinning as I closed the distance between me and the mattress, crawling on down on it and closer to Blair.

“Not usually,” Blair replied, giggling as I pushed her hands away and kissed her down the chest in a ticklish manner. “We make a good team, yeah? We’ll be good living together?”

“We’ll be the best, baby,” I agreed, leaning upward to catch her lips in a kiss.



January 2021 (Harry)

I dragged my feet out the elevator and toward my flat, feeling my limbs get heavier with every step I took. I’d only slept eight hours in the past two days and I needed a serious hot bath followed by the longest nap in history. While unlocking the door, I tried to remember if Blair had any extra bath bombs from Lush still left in our bathroom. She usually stocked up, but she was telling me something the other day about going down there soon because she was running out.

Once inside, I took off my shoes and coat, putting away my things in my office. I tugged off my tie, walking over to the bathroom and -- yes! Blair did have one last Lush bath bomb left in the cabinet, and that too the Big Blue one, which promised to “float away your cares,” which was exactly what I needed.

Our law firm was recently given a case with a big company who was being sued by an ex-partner. The evidence presented was a lot and we were all held up in the office for long hours, trying to make sense of it and figure out an argument. This afternoon, the court session took place and we won! Since it was a big win, my boss brought out champagne for all of us in order to celebrate. I’d only had one glass before traipsing to the tube to get home.

I had texted Blair on the way asking if she’d be home, but she told me she was at the florists getting our wedding order ready. It’d been non-stop planning since I proposed to her that night in front of our coffee shop. I actually found wedding planning rather fun and often accompanied Blair to get stuff done, but with this case at the firm and my workload growing within the past few weeks, I hadn’t been much help. Blair didn’t mind, or so she said. Lately, she’d been behaving very cranky and whenever she came home, she went straight to sleep. Then again, along with planning the wedding, she was also working, which made her just as much sleep deprived as I was.

After setting up my bath, I stripped naked and sank down in the warm water. I was out within five minutes, only waking up about forty minutes later when the water got chilly. I drained the water out before quickly taking a hot shower. The flat had been feeling chilly for a few days, so I made a mental note to turn up the heat when I next passed the thermostat. The bath and shower really helped, though, and my body felt so much more relaxed. At this point, all I could hear was my bed calling out to me. I stepped out of the shower, toweling myself dry and making my way over to the bedroom.

The front door opened just then and Blair stepped through, her eyes raking over my body before turning away to take off her shoes and coat. I grinned to myself, feeling smug. “Hey, babe. Had a good day?” I asked.

Blair grunted in response, which said as much as I needed to know.

“I just showered so the bathroom’s all yours. I’ll be in bed. Why don’t you come join me for a nap?” I offered.

Blair made another noise of assent and made her way to the bathroom. Meanwhile, I changed into a pair of briefs before crawling into bed. I must have only closed my eyes for about a minute when Blair came charging back into the room, face red with anger.

“You used up all the hot water?” she shouted. “What the fuck, Harry? Why would you do that?”

“What?” I blubbered, confused as I sat up. “No, I didn’t.”

“Really? You didn’t? Then explain why I’ve had the shower running for five minutes and the water won’t turn warm. It’s fucking ice cold!”

I chewed my bottom lip with a guilty expression. Maybe my warm bath and warm shower were a bit much. “I’m sure it’ll turn warm soon. Just wait another minute.”

“I waited five minutes!” She was breathing heavily, exhaustion and anger getting the best of her.  

“I’m sorry,” I apologized sincerely. “I genuinely had no idea.”

It seemed to appease Blair for now, but she was still frowning as she responded. “Next time you use up all the hot water, I’m going to ban you to the couch and make you sleep there for a month!”

With that she stormed back out to the bathroom. I scratched the back of my head pathetically as I watched her retreating form. She was really cranky and I felt bad for using up all the hot water. It hadn’t really occurred to me that it would be a problem, but then again our flat had a history of having issues here and there. I decided I’d have to make up for it so I quickly went over to the kitchen to grab Blair’s favorite ice cream pint -- chocolate chip cookie dough.

When I got back to the room, Blair was also walking in while tying her hair up in a bun on top of her head. She glared at me as she passed, sitting down on the bed, and staring angrily in front of her. I slowly sat down beside her, opening the ice cream tub and offering it to her with a spoon. “Got you this,” I said quietly.

Blair looked at it for a moment and met my eyes. “Ice cream in bed?” she asked. “You hate bringing food here.”

“I know, but I love you more. And I think tonight can be an exception,” I said, putting an arm around her and nudging my nose against her cheek to placate her. It seemed to be working. Blair tilted her head toward me, giving off a soft smile.

“I’m mad at you.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, babe. Did you have a bad day?”

She sighed. “Not bad. It was just tiring. Too much to get done. I was hoping for a hot shower, is all.”

“I’m so sorry,” I cooed, kissing her cheek. “I’ll make it up to you, okay? I’ll take off from work tomorrow and go out and do whatever wedding stuff you need to get done while you stay in bed and relax. Sound good?”

Blair’s cheeks turned up into a smile and she faced me, pressing her lips against mine. “You’re the best husband-to-be.”

I hummed against her lips, smiling as well. “Hopefully. Don’t want to be banned to the couch when I’ve got you here.”

“Now I know which threats to use when I want to get my way,” she teased, taking the spoon from my hand and dipping it in the tub.

December 2021 (Blair)

“I was thinking that we should host Christmas dinner at our place.”

Harry blinked at me, his eyebrows raised in surprise, as he continued to take out Christmas tree ornaments from the box in front of him. “Really?” he asked. I nodded eagerly. “What's brought this on?”

“Hear me out -- we just got this new flat and it looks great. We spent months renovating it ourselves with no help and making it our own. Don’t you think it deserves to be shown off? Especially to our mums, who've been dying for an excuse to come over and check on us. Plus, we’ve gotten really good at cooking, so Christmas dinner shouldn't be so bad. In fact, I think we’ll kill it.”

I smiled at my husband of ten months, watching as the gears turned in his head, and he considered my proposition. When we got married back in March, so many people came up to us and told us that everything was going to change. They almost made it sound like we’d made a mistake, but I disagreed. Marriage wasn’t that much of an adjustment, in fact, it didn't feel like much changed at all other than the fact that we had a paper from the court proclaiming us husband and wife. We had the whole marriage thing down pat. Our friends said it was because the two of us were already sickeningly domestic to start with. After all, we’d been living together for a while, and we recently moved to a bigger place a few weeks ago.

“Are you sure?” Harry asked, hanging another ornament on the tree in front of us. It was placed right beside our big window in the living room so people could see it if they walked by our building. “Christmas dinner is a lot of responsibility.”

“So sure,” I assured him.

Harry pondered for a moment as to where to put the turtle doves before replying. “I mean if you are serious, I’ll do my best to help you, but you know how bad it gets in the firm sometimes. I can’t even make it home some nights.”

“I know, but I think I can handle it. If I can’t, I’ll let you know,” I promised.

Harry hung the turtle doves right in the center of tree, turning to face me. “Alright. Let’s do Christmas at our place.” I grinned, leaning forward to kiss him before grabbing the next ornament.

“I already had a few things planned, like for dinner, I want to make a turkey. I was thinking maybe a pasta dish as well. Oh, and my mum always used to make this honey roasted carrots side that are to die for.”

“Look at you,” Harry chuckled. “So excited to cook dinner for the family. You know what it does to me when you get domestic.” He shot me an exaggerated wink and I shoved at his sides, playfully.

“I’m not fucking around, alright? I wanna do this and I want it to be perfect, like the movies. I want our home to look warm and welcoming and I want our families to think, wow, look at how Blair and Harry have all their shit together. Don’t you want that, too, H?”

“Mmm,” Harry hummed, grabbing me around the waist and suddenly pulling me onto his lap. I steadied myself, placing my hands over his shoulders. “I do want that. But I also really want to do you in front of this Christmas tree.”

I widened my eyes, a laugh escaping my lips. “Is this some kind of Christmas fantasy that you haven’t told me about?”

“Yeah, I actually just thought of it. How hot would it be if we just fucked right here in front of the tree?”

“But Santa will literally put our presents here.”

Harry gave me a deadpanned expression, probably frustrated that I was killing the mood. “Very funny,” he said, his hands coming around to cup my bum in his palms. “You’re not even wearing any underwear. It’s like you’ve come prepared.”

I smacked the back of his head, frowning as I fisted some of his hair and tugged it back. “I’m not wearing underwear because I want to be comfortable. Plus, you’re always buying me the lacy lingerie. Those aren’t always comfortable, you know?”

“I’ll buy you anything you want, babe, but you know how fit you look in lace.”

“True.”

Harry’s hand slipped past the hem of my joggers and I let out a soft gasp when he squeezed my flesh. And that was the last either of us really spoke because we got busy fulfilling Harry’s Christmas tree sex fantasy.



My phone buzzed continuously, vibrating inside my purse, and I pulled over to a stop on the corner of the footpath, letting the sea of people heading home go by. Rush hour after work was a scary crowd to be in, especially if you stopped walking because you were bound to get trampled. I pulled open my purse, fishing my phone out to see Layla calling. Pressing answer, I tucked the phone between my shoulder and ear before resuming my walk toward the tube.

“Hello.”

“Blair?”

“Obviously. Did you not mean to ring me? Was this a butt dial?”

She sighed. “No, I did. Sorry. I’ve been all out of sorts. Bells has been giving me a hard time. I feel like she never stops running and I’m always chasing after her. I’ve not even had a proper meal today because I’m so tired.”

I laughed. Bella was becoming quite rambunctious, but this age was a difficult one for all parents. Leah had such a hard time with Evan and kept blaming it on the terrible two’s. “Sorry about that,” I said to Layla. “Any plans tonight?”

“Hopefully shower, eat and sleep. Niall’s just gotten home and he’s got Bella watching some animated movie with him. What about you?”

“Heading home myself. I’ve got so much to do. I told you I’m hosting Christmas dinner at ours, right?”

“You did. How’s that going?”

“It’s not,” I groaned. “I feel like I bit the bullet too soon. Out of nowhere, this huge project comes up at work, and Harry’s barely home, either, because he’s got some big case going on at work. I haven’t made a single list of things I’ve got to get done and Christmas is coming up in, like, less than two weeks.”

“Shit,” Layla murmured. “Well, you’ve got decorations up, right? And the flat’s clean?”

“Not even close,” I admitted. “I mean, we’ve got our tree, but I wanted to go all out and do more. And the flat’s a shit show. Harry and I’ve had no time to clean. We’ve been living off of take out these past few weeks. I found an empty container of Pad Thai in the fridge this morning.”

“Gross. I suggest you buckle down because if you’re still working until Christmas, then getting everything done on time will be hard.”

“I know,” I said. “I’ll just have to start from tonight. It won’t be so bad. I’ve got this.”



It was bad and I didn’t have it.

When I got home that night, I made a list of all the things I needed to get done and got down to it. However, it proved to be a lot harder than I thought since there was so much. I had shopping to do because we needed groceries for the dinner, clean all the rooms because it’d been awhile since we did and I didn’t want it to look like we were living in a pig sty, decorations to put up, and find time to actually cook the dinner.

I decided to start with cleaning and got a bunch of cleaning detergents from the local convenience store. Harry was helping, having gotten some time off of work, and was handling the bedrooms, living room, and his study. I was taking on the kitchen and bathroom. I knew something was wrong the minute I smelled the kitchen cleaner. It stirred something in my stomach, but I ignored it, continuing to clean. It was only after I got to the bathroom and smelled the bleach that I threw up all the contents of my breakfast and lunch.



“Are you sure you’re alright?” Harry asked, for what seemed like the hundredth time.

I ran a hand through my hair, leaning back against my pillows and the bed’s headboard. “I told you, I’m fine. It was just the smell that made me throw up.”

“Yeah, but you’ve used those cleaning detergents before and they never made you sick,” Harry pointed out. He was lying down beside me, running his hand up and down my stomach. After I killed  our cleaning spree by vomiting, Harry made me stop and put together a very light dinner before dragging me to bed. I was feeling irritated that we couldn’t finish. But Harry was insisting I rest because he was convinced I was ill.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, H. Maybe I ate something weird.”

“We ate the same thing, though. And I’m not sick.”

“You’re being annoying,” I snipped, frowning at him. “You weren’t smelling the fumes off of the cleaning supplies like I was. Maybe that combined with whatever we ate was what did it. Now stop it with the third degree.”

Despite my outburst, Harry still scooted closer to me, pulling my body against his. “You’re stressed,” he concluded. “Let me help you feel better.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“I have ways,” he trailed off, his hands spanning my waist and pushing up my t-shirt. He turned my head to face his, capturing my lips in a deep kiss while palming up my body. When he gripped onto one of my breasts, I winced, pushing him off. He looked bewildered for a moment. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t wanna have sex,” I told him, voice small. “My boobs are hurting.”

“See! I told you something’s wrong,” he said. “Let’s go to the hospital. We need to get you checked out.

“Oh my God, Harry. It’s probably my period. I’m due to have it soon and it’s a reaction of that, is all.”

“Blair --”

“Drop it. Let’s just go to sleep. I want to finish cleaning tomorrow.” I turned and flipped off the night light in our room, casting everything in darkness before getting under the covers and closing my eyes. Harry didn’t argue, opting to hug me from behind and fall asleep.



“Carrots?”

“Check.”

“Ground pepper?”

“Check.”

“Almonds?”

“Check.”

I smiled, scanning the rest of the list, smiling at all the checks we’d gotten so far. Harry and I were doing last minute grocery shopping. We were finally getting on track with everything in terms of our Christmas dinner the following night. The house was clean, Harry and I both decorated, and we were almost done with our dinner.

“Alright, last one, cranberries for the sauce?” I asked.

Harry peered down at the receipt, brows furrowing before looking over at me nervously. “Think we forgot that.”

I stopped in my tracks in the middle of the footpath, staring at Harry. “What?”

“It’s not on here and I don’t remember looking for it.”

“But it’s the last thing on the list,” I said.

“I -- I know. It must have slipped our minds,” he reasoned.

“I just. I can’t believe it. The shop is another nine blocks and it’s so cold and I’m just,” my voice started to shake and before I knew it, I was crying. “I’m so fucking tired and stressed. What if it all sucks? I asked you if we could do it and you said yes, but now I’m doubting everything. I can’t believe I forgot something as simple as cranberries.”

Harry looked shocked, watching me with wide eyes as I bawled in public, tears streaming down my face. He took a step closer, putting his arms around me and pulling me into a hug. “Blair, Jesus Christ, fuck this Christmas dinner. Are you alright?” he asked.

“I’m fi -- fine,” I blubbered, hiding my face in the crook of his neck. “I’m so tired.”

“It’s only cranberries, babe. I will walk back with you and get it and come back and do whatever you say, yeah?” He leaned back at arm’s length and I couldn't help but keep crying. He was so sweet and helpful and here I was -- insane and embarrassing.

“I love you,” I whimpered through bouts of tears.

Harry let out a soft laugh. “I love you, too, but you’re really starting to worry me.”

“The cranberries,” I said again, gesturing toward the way to the store.

“We’ll get it.”

I nodded my head, unsure of what to say. I’d reached a new low, having had this breakdown on the streets, and over something like cranberries. As I went to wipe my tears, I felt something smooth on my skin, instead, before realizing my tears had actually frozen. A disbelieving laugh slipped past my lips and Harry looked even more worried.

“It’s just. My tears froze,” I explained.

Harry reached over and touched my cheeks as though he needed to confirm it himself that my tears did in fact freeze on my face from the cold. The two of us looked at each other before bursting out laughing. Harry pulled me back into his arms, leading us back toward the shops, and I felt a lot lighter than I had the past few weeks.



There were two things I was extremely thankful for this Christmas. One, that I found someone like Harry, who was not only supportive and helpful, but also a concerned, wonderful, loving husband who looked after me with utmost care. Two, that despite the stress and constant fatigue that had taken over my body, I was still able to pull off a somewhat passable Christmas dinner.

My parents and Harry’s parents coordinated their times and showed up together bearing presents. We had even invited Leah and Gemma to come along and bring their families, but, both of them declined on account of they were spending tonight with their in-laws. Our mums ogled at all the decorations, snapping pictures of the tree, the fairy lights, and me and Harry smooching under the mistletoe we hung over the living room door frame. My dad and Harry’s step-dad kept snooping about in the kitchen, hungry for dinner and also wanting to see what we’d made.

When we served the food and settled down to eat, I couldn’t manage more than a couple of bites before starting to lose my appetite. It wasn’t that it was bad, but for some reason, I felt queasy. My mum noticed me after a while. I was serving and offering the food to everyone rather than eating myself.

“Everything alright, Blair?” she asked. “You’ve barely touched your food.”

“I’m fine,” I assured her. “Just don’t have much of an appetite.”

I could see Harry shooting me a concerned look from the corner of my eye, but I refused to indulge him and worry him more than he already had these past few days.

“Did you eat before we came?” Anne asked.

I shook my head. “No, not at all. I don’t know...maybe it’s because I’ve been cooking all day, I just don’t feel like eating much.”

“She hasn’t been eating at all,” Harry offered, not so helpfully. “She’s even been throwing up, but won’t let me take her to the doctor.”

“That’s so unnecessary,” I said, shooting Harry a glare. “I’m fine.”

“Well, clearly not if you’re throwing up and unable to eat,” Mum said. “How long’s this been going on?”

I pouted, shrugging. “A few weeks. Just been tired and a little bit nauseous. No big deal.”

I watched as Anne and Mum shared a look and I wondered what they were thinking about. Either way, they didn’t press on the matter. Later, I was putting the dishes in the sink and clearing the table for dessert. Harry was busy entertaining everyone, talking about his new case at work, and I didn’t notice my mum and mum-in-law sneak in.  

“Are you pregnant?” Mum asked, nearly giving me a heart attack while I was rummaging through our fridge looking for some whipped cream.

I clutched at my heart, panting as I turned to face them. “First of all, don’t sneak up on me like that and second of all, of course I’m not,” I told her. “Why would you even ask?”

“Well,” Anne began. “The symptoms you’ve mentioned hint to possibly being pregnant.” Her face was glowing and I realized it was because she was happy at the prospect of me expecting, but that was bizarre. Harry and I hadn’t seriously spoken about starting a family yet. We’d only recently moved to this flat and our finances needed to be sorted out before we could make that commitment.

“Have you felt anything else besides nausea and fatigue?” Mum asked.

I pursed my lips together, wanting to be truthful, but also wanting to deny that there may have been more symptoms. For one, I was insanely emotional. My mood swings were crazy these past few days and my boobs haven’t stopped hurting. What’s more, I missed my period.

Maybe they weren’t wrong. Maybe I was pregnant?



I was panicked. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I could be pregnant. It seemed to have hit me out of nowhere. I tried to eat dessert, forcing the sweets down my throat, only to feel the vomit rising up. Without a word to anyone, I dashed from the table to the bathroom and unloaded my stomach’s contents. And poor Harry -- he looked stricken with worry, helping me clean myself up and promising to do all the cleaning afterwards.

Both Anne and Mum urged me to buy a pregnancy test before they left and I said as much to Harry.  He didn’t really say anything back, just stared at me like a deer in headlights. The weight of the situation hung over us as we slowly cleaned everything up. I knew that it wasn’t a bad thing to be pregnant --  it was just unexpected. We hadn’t even been married for a year yet, and these sort of things needed to be planned because there was so much that came along with it.

“When do you think it happened?” Harry asked while drying dishes.

I closed the lid over a container, putting the leftover food in the fridge. “Last time we had proper sex was that day we were fixing up the tree,” I told him. “So I assume then.”

“That was about two or so weeks ago,” Harry said. “But aren’t you on the pill?”

I hesitated for a moment. “Well...I think I missed a few days. Because of work and the stress of this dinner, I’ve been a bit crazy, as you know.”

“Yeah”

“So I don’t know? I messed up my days and I was probably ovulating.”

Harry nodded, his expression sincere and understanding. “That’s fine. I’m just a little surprised.”

“Me, too,” I admitted. “But it explains a lot.”

“I could pop down to the shops,” Harry continued. “We can find out right now.”

Knowing it would eat me away if I didn’t know, so I nodded my head. Harry beamed, his dimples sinking in, and reached forward to kiss me sweetly on the lips. He tasted like pudding and I couldn’t help but let my lips linger. “I love you,” he murmured. “This is -- this is sort of insane and I just wanted you to know that I love you.”

I smiled back. “I love you, too.”

He quickly grabbed his coat and practically ran out the door.



There were two pink lines on the pregnancy test and Harry and I couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the night.



December 2027 (Harry)

Maddie flew past me down the hall, her bare, little feet moving fast and slightly steady, as she screamed some Taylor Swift song at the top of her lungs. I have to let Liv stop babysitting her.

This was becoming routine almost every morning. Maddie was super hyper and needed to be wrangled and calmed down. It was even worse today because she had her ballet recital later that night and she’d been excited since she woke up about a half hour ago. I’d asked her to take off her pyjamas so that I could give her a bath, but then I got distracted by a work call, and when I came back she’d left the bathroom, opting to run around the flat naked instead.

“Maddie,” I called, stepping over a set of her Barbies on the floor in the hallway. “Come back to the bathroom. You need to take your bath.”

“We are never ever ever getting back together,” she sang in response, jumping from couch to couch. “You go talk to friends, I talk to friends, la la la friends.”

“That’s dangerous,” I warned her, grabbing Maddie by the waist and putting her down on the ground only to have her to run right past me into the kitchen.

Sighing, I headed back to our bedroom to see if Blair was up. Levi gave her a bit of a hard time last night, so she hadn’t gotten much sleep. When I woke up, both her and Levi were out cold on our bed.  When I walked in now, Blair was still sleeping, but Levi had woken up, kicking his feet up into the air and waving his arms around. The two of them had put on matching pyjamas last night that were so adorable. It was a Christmas print we’d found at the Camden Market Place.

Smiling, I bent down to press a kiss to Levi’s cheeks.

“Morning, big guy,” I greeted. “Sleep well?”

He smiled, “Da.” Levi wasn’t quite speaking yet, but he could say variations of words now. At the moment, he called both Maddie and Blair Ma, which drove Maddie nuts because she wanted him to understand he was wrong and that she wasn’t his mum.

Blair stirred from her sleep upon hearing me, her eyes blinking open slowly. “I’m so tired,” she moaned.

I reached over to comb my fingers through her hair. “Get some more sleep. I’ll take care of the kids.”

She yawned, leaning into my touch. “Is Maddie up?”

“She is. She’s currently running around naked, though. Can’t get her to take a bath.’

“Give her the Lush bath bomb. She loves those and will definitely listen to you then.”

My eyes widened. “You’re a genius. Why didn’t I think of that?” I stood up, leaving Blair to continue snoozing while Levi played beside her. I found Maddie running in circles around the dining room table, grabbing her as soon as she was within reach. “Alright, Mads. How do you feel about using a bath bomb today?”

“A bath bomb?” she practically screeched. “Yes! Yes! Yes, please!”

Twenty minutes later, Maddie was significantly more calm and playing with her bath toys while the water was a pale pink color around her. Her curly ringlets were soaked, turning a few shades darker as she grew. I sat on the ledge of the bathtub to keep an eye on her while texting Niall, who was supposed to meet us over at the dance school for the recital. 



“Dad, you’ve got to go,” Maddie hissed at me. She was stood in a line with all of her dance classmates, getting ready to go on stage, and I was being the embarrassing dad who couldn’t stop taking pictures of his little girl. But she just looked so cute that I couldn’t stop.

I raised my camera again. “Just one more, c’mon.”

Maddie appeared to consider it before flashing me a pose with all her small teeth bared. I smiled, pleased, as I went over to kiss her on the cheek once more for good luck. The teacher started to clap for all the dancers attention so I slipped out of backstage and went to the seats Blair and I secured for us and the Horan’s. When I got there, I saw Niall and Layla had already arrived with Bella in tow. Bella looked top-notch, all dressed up and watching the stage attentively. I gave her a kiss on the top of her head before making my way over to the empty seat beside Niall.

“What’s up?” Niall asked. “Where were you?”

“Taking pictures backstage,” I replied, turning on my camera to show him the stills. Niall burst out laughing at one of them, pointing Maddie out in the bunch.

“Your kid would be the one flashing her bum to the camera. She is just like you.”



Maddie’s recital went off without a hitch. She did wonderfully, though the same couldn’t be said for one of the girls who took one look at the crowd and ran backstage, crying. After the recital, we all went to dinner at a nearby Japanese place. While Bella and Maddie chattered on about some cartoon they liked and Levi snoozed soundly in his stroller, Niall, Layla, Blair and I caught up with each other. I’d invited other friends to come tonight, but they’d all been busy with one thing or another. After all, it was a Sunday night, and most didn’t want to spend their Sundays watching a bunch of kids dancing to the Nutcracker. Besides, Maddie and Bella had become sort of a package deal and needed playdates every weekend, so we saw the Horans a lot more than we saw everyone else.

When we said goodnight and parted ways, Blair nudged me as we got to the car. “You sleepy?” she asked.

I shook my head as I put the kids in the backseat. Maddie looked like she was two seconds away from sleeping on the footpath. Blair helped me put Levi in his car seat and took her place in the passenger side. I started up the car and looked over at Blair, noticing that she was still looking at me.

“What have you got in mind?” I asked, reaching over the console to take her hand.

Blair turned around to look at the backseat, smiling as she took in our sleeping kids, before turning back to me. “Coffee?”

I couldn’t help but smile, pulling out of the parking spot, and driving toward our coffee shop. We didn’t get to do this as often as we used to, but the rare times we did, it felt so good. That was because it often felt like nothing had changed, but obviously it did. Blair and I gradually built a life together, and even had two kids, but when we went to the coffee shop, we were those same two kids who’d fallen in love with caffeine in our blood and the night sky above us.