Better Safe Than Sorry

Cold blooded murder is what most would call this scene. Me? I’d call it nothing more than self defense. I was only defending what was mine. There laying against the wall was my baby daddy. The man I once thought loved me as much as I loved him. Although, apparently I was wrong and he wanted nothing more than to hurt to me.

“You can leave but you got me fucked up if you think you’re taking my girls. I want nothing but what’s best for them and you’re not it,” he sneered.

“How dare you threaten me! Those are my babies! You will never get them, Derrick. Never,” I argued back. Derrick took a step to me leaving only a few inches as he barely towered me glaring at me. I pushed him back and he slightly chuckled shaking his head.

“Be glad I’ll even allow you’re hoe ass to see my kids. If I wanted to, I’d make sure you wouldn’t see them anymore. You know I can get the best lawyer money can buy. I got money for days because I’m best at what I do. You’re just being selfish anyways. It’s not even about your girls or you’d want what’s best for them which, as I said before, isn’t you.” He smiled his devious smile as I grew quiet knowing he could easily win. So what could I do? I took the gun from my purse in one quick move and pointed it at him. He glared. “Put that thing down Linda. You won’t do anything with that. You won’t dare shoot me. I’m the father of your children. They love me. You love me. Without me you ain’t nothing. You can’t survive without me.”

He glared at me as if trying to scare me into lowering my gun, but when I stood firm my gun pointed straight to his head. He took one step closer. “Don’t force me to do this, Derrick.”

He chuckled. “You won’t do anything my dear Lin. You may be the toughest girl I know, but you wouldn’t dare pull the trigger on the one who you love.”

He took another step and off went the gun. Seconds past and I didn’t hear nothing. I slowly opened my eyes and looked and there sat the man I loved propped against the wall where he slid on the floor. His eyes had a dead look at his looked at me with disbelief. Blood dripped from his forehead from the hole the bullet made. “Oh God. What did I do.”

I placed the gun in his hand dominate hand to make it look like suicide. I had to otherwise he would win. I left our bedroom and ran into the girls room. I woke my four year old, Izzy, up. She yawned before wiping her little eyes. She rolled over on her back and squinted at me. “I’m still tired mommy.”

“I know baby but grandma wants to see us so we are going on a little road trip starting tonight,” I lied through my teeth. “Get up baby.” Izzy whined a bit but slid out of her bed grabbing her doll as I grabbed her sister, Jess, from her bed. Izzy grabbed my hand as her eyes slid shut. “Come on baby. Wake up.” I shook her hand a little and she slowly looked up at me. I rewarded her with a brief and small smile. We quickly went down the stairs and into the connected garage. I opened Izzy’s door so she could crawl in and get acquainted as I settled her sleeping sister into her car seat. Afterwards, I helped Izzy put her seatbelt on herself. Izzy head bobbed up from her slight sleeping position and she looked at me in a daze. I smiled and closed the door and ran around to my side.

“Mommy I’m hungry,” Izzy whined as I got into the driver’s seat.

I took a deep breath trying hard not to yell at her. She was being a cranky pants as always in the morning. I turned around to her and smiled. “We’ll eat when we get to grandma’s place.”

Izzy whimpered. “But I’m hungry now mama. Now. Now. Now.”

“Izzy I said cut it the fuck out! You will eat in a second.” She whimpered. “I’m sorry baby. Mommy will feed you in a second you just have to give me a few,” I whispered knowing darn well it would be a few hours before she would eat, but we needed to get as far away as possible in the most quickest manner. Izzy sighed wiping her eyes and looked out the window. I clicked the button that opened the garage and we were out as fast as we could.

I smiled as I closed the door to the guest bedroom where my girls slept in the bed. I turned to my mother who was right behind me smoking a cigarette. “Can I bum one of those?” My mom shrugged and held the box out to me. I took one and placed it in my mouth. She took out her lighter and gave me a lit. At this point I needed something better but this would have to do. “Mom I just need to stay for a few days top,” I whispered pleading her.

“You’re a grown woman. You’re supposed to be able to support yourself and your kids. I did it. I did anything and everything to support you. The positive to that was I learned some new moves on the pole,” she said smirking than taking another puff.

I frowned. Seeing my mother on the pole was the last thing I wanted to imagine. I got the shivers and she raised a questionable eyebrow. I shook my head. “Mom. I begging you. I’ll buy you a box of cigarettes.” She pandered about it before nodding. “Alright. I’ll be back.”

“Can I get a carton of decade one hundreds too?” I placed the brown hair dye, some scissors, make-up, and a new pair of clothes for me.

The clerk nodded. “I’ll be back.” She walked to the back and looked for some. I looked up at the television and read the captions since they had turned it on mute. Forty year old Derrick found after being reports of a gunshot. So far it looks like suicide but the police haven't declared the cause. Police are looking for his girlfriend, thirty-five year old, Linda, and their two girls, Jess and Izzy seeing as he has no other family. So far no leads have been found.

A slam on the counter caught my attention as the clerk threw the carton on the counter. I glared which she didn’t catch because she was ringing up my items. I don’t think she would care anyway. After all, she didn’t get paid to care. She finally looked back up at me before saying “that will be forty-five dollars and fifty cents”.

I fished out the fifty and gave it to her. She marked it before opening her drawer and giving my change. Then she pushed it all in a plastic bag before giving it to me without even as much as a “good day”.

I drove back to my mothers. She was just as rude as the clerk as I handed her carton. She snatched it up quickly and placed it on her end table continuing to watch her soaps without as much as a thank you. She took a big puff out of a blunt. I didn’t dare ask her for a puff.

I went into the bathroom and looked at the mirror one more time at my old image. I sighed and whispered, “well good bye old me. Hello new me.” I tore the dye open. I got to work and dyed my hair. Than I placed the scissors’ handle to my lips as I thought of a style before cutting it so no one would recognize me. Finally, to complete my new look, I threw on my new clothes before throwing out the old ones. It wasn’t going to be long before they found out it was murder not suicide so I had to stay low and have my story straight for when they did find me.

Was I being paranoid or was I being smart? Either way, I needed to keep moving. But with two girls I was sure to be caught. So, to be better safe than sorry, I snuck out the back door, got in my car, and drove away.