Eyes of Winter

The next morning, Annie was standing at the stove cooking breakfast when Bucky finally emerged from his room. She stood in an oversized shirt and shorts, flipping eggs.

He stopped next to the stove, searching for something to say. It was obvious that neither of them had slept well. Her eyes were red rimmed and she wore her hair down, covering her face.

"I made you some coffee." She said, not looking at him. "It's on the table."

He walked over to the table, feeling incredibly out of place. Grabbing the coffee cup, he took a large gulp, not minding the heat of the liquid.

Annie turned and set two plates of food on the kitchen island.

"Annie." He said, setting down the cup. She either didn't hear him, or chose to ignore him because she didn't say anything as she rummaged through the refrigerator.

When she stood upright to close the door, he was standing right beside her. She froze as he gently took her chin and tucked her hair behind her ear. She tried to back away, obviously irritated, but he held onto her arm. "Just let me see." He said, exasperated.

"Why? You're just going to beat yourself up about it." She replied.

"And why shouldn't I, Annie?" He asked.

She gave in with a sigh, lifting her chin up so he could examine the damage. His fingers were gentle as he looked her over. She looked away when his eyes finally gave into the remorse she'd been expecting. "Please don't do that." She said quietly, backing away.

"I'm sorry." He replied.

"I know you are. I know that you didn't know what you were doing. And despite me saying it's alright, you're probably still going to beat yourself up about it. So at least you don't have to do it on an empty stomach." She said, shoving the plate in his hands.

OoOoOo

Bucky lay on the couch after spending most of the day with John, working on the motorcycle. He did most of the work while John sat, hunched over his cane, puffing away on his seemingly endless supply of cigarettes.

He could hear Annie shuffling around in the kitchen as she made dinner. Tucking his right arm under his head, he focused on the movie on the t.v., which had him quickly falling asleep.

"Bucky, have you seen the tarragon? I can't find it." Annie said, looking in the spice cabinet. She looked over her shoulder. "Bucky?"

She craned her neck to look over the couch and sighed. He snored lightly. "Well at least one of us will get some sleep." She mumbled.

OoOoOo

Annie sat at the kitchen table reading when she saw Bucky shift out of the corner of her eye. She went back to reading making it only to the second sentence before a low groan broke her concentration.

The sound sent a small chill down her back as she remembered what had happened the last time he'd had a nightmare. She froze, waiting.

He groaned again, followed with a sob. Annie stared at the couch, feeling helpless. She wanted to stop his obvious emotional pain, but was afraid to intervene. The noises he made were like a mournful, eerie song, some giving her goosebumps.

She perked up at a thought. When she was a little girl, her mother would play the violin for her when she'd had a bad day.

Annie quietly retrieved her violin from her bedroom and returned to the living room, taking a seat on the hearth of the fireplace, as far from Bucky as she could get.

With a slow breath, she began playing the softest tune she could think of, Vivaldi's Summer. Instinct had her eyes wanting to close, but she focused instead on Bucky. A minute into the song, she noted with satisfaction that the lines of distress between his eyes had softened. He no longer tossed and turned and his breathing had slowed.

She continued to play until he opened his eyes, focusing on her after a moment.

"Annie? What are you doing?" He asked.

She lowered the violin. "You were having another nightmare." She replied.

He pushed himself up quickly, but Annie held her hand up. "It's ok! You didn't hurt me. I kept my distance."

He looked confused, resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm so sick of them." He said.

"You seemed to do ok with the music."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean I played while you were nightmaring on the couch and you didn't stress or whine or cry the entire time. Maybe music can help." She said.

"Maybe." He replied quietly, looking up. "What's for dinner?"

OoOoOo

Annie was on her hands and knees, digging in her tiny garden. A thick fog hung low in the sky, casting a fine mist over everything and leaving the air cool. It was early October and fall was definitely in the air. The breeze rustled the slowly dying leaves, sending some of them scattering into the air, only to tumble lightly to the ground.

Annie pulled up the now dead flowers and tossed them out into the woods. Somewhere in the distance, she heard the rumble of an engine. She stood up and peered around the corner of the cabin when she heard the engine turn off.

Bucky came around the corner, walking with a smile on his face. "Hey."

Annie looked at him with a raised brow. "Hey..."

"C'mon, I want to show you something." He said. He took her hand and led her to the front yard. An old gray motorcycle was parked in the driveway.

"Is that John's motorcycle?" Annie asked.

"The very one." He replied.

Annie wiped her hands on the rag tucked in her back pocket. "You got it running?"

"Just needed a good work up. Once we cleaned a few parts and tightened a few more, it started up without a problem."

"Does it drive ok?" She asked.

"Want to go for a ride?" He asked with a smirk, waggling his eyebrows.

Annie smiled. "I really do...but what if someone sees us?"

"I've got helmets." He said, handing her a white one. He put his black one on and got on the bike. Annie pulled hers on and lowered the face shield. She got on the bike and loosely wrapped her arms around his waist. "Hold on tight!" He called over his shoulder, kicking the engine to life.

OoOoOo

Annie tightened her arms around his waist, taking in the scenery as they drove. The day was cloudy and the air damp, but the lake was beautiful. The trees were just beginning to change colors, most of them being a bright yellow at the tips. The town was very quiet as most of the vacationers had gone back to their real lives. A few people walked the streets of the shopping district.

They passed a farmer's market where quite a few people were shopping. Annie made a mental note to ask him to stop there on the way home.

OoOoOo

Several hours and a tank of gas later, they pulled the bike up the driveway of Edna and John's home. Edna sat on the front porch in a rocking chair, shucking corn. John sat beside her reading the newspaper.

John lowered the paper and nodded to Bucky. "James, how'd she run?"

Bucky tucked the helmet under his arm, propping his foot up on the bottom step. "Smooth. Almost like new."

"And the transmission?" John asked.

"Not one slip." He tossed him the keys.

John tossed them back, Bucky caught it with his gloved left hand. "Eh, keep her for a few more days. Just in case."

"Are you kids hungry? I was just about to start dinner." Edna asked.

Bucky glanced at Annie who gave a slight shrug. "Anywhere she can freshen up?" He asked.

Edna smiled. "Working in your garden?"

Annie nodded. "Yes." She sighed. "It's not doing too good."

Edna chuckled. "I just put some clean towels in the linen closet. You can take a shower. There should be plenty of hot water."

OoOoOo

"So how was your drive?" Edna asked, passing a bowl of broccoli to Bucky.

"It was nice to get out." Bucky replied.

"It's a shame that it's so dreary outside. The trees are starting to change." She said. "They're calling for snow, you know."

"It was still very pretty." Annie said with a sigh. "I just love the mountains."

"The Fall festival is coming up soon. This weekend, I think." John said.

Annie nodded, wiping her mouth. "I saw the banner for it being put up down town. It's next Saturday."

Edna smiled. "John and I go every year. The town's been doing it for over thirty years. They have all sorts of games, craft sales, pie and jam tastings. And everyone dresses up and at sunset they have a live band and everyone dances..."

John rolled his eyes. "She gets like this every year around fall time." He said to Bucky.

Annie laughed. "It sounds like fun."

Bucky and John shared a look. John shrugged and sipped his drink. "She wins a ribbon every year for her blueberry rhubarb pie."

"First place?" Annie asked.

John laughed and Edna made a face. "No. Second. Betty Hillsby down on third street gets first place every year for her apple pie. It tastes like stale crackers with a dash of cinnamon. But her husband is the mayor and also one of the judges. So take that information for what it's worth."

Bucky snorted.

"I'm sure yours is much better. I love blueberries." Annie said.

"What are you going to dress up as?" Edna asked.

Annie glanced at Bucky. "I..don't know that we'll go.." She said.

"Oh but it's so fun! You get to dress up and pretend you're someone else." Edna gushed.

"I don't see why we wouldn't be able to go." Bucky said. Annie looked up at him quickly, eyes slightly widened.

"I'm telling you two, it' so much fun!"

OoOoOo

Annie wrapped her arms around his waist as they headed back to the cabin, waving goodbye to Edna as they pulled out of the driveway.

The night had brought with it much cooler, damp air. By the time they got to the cabin, large snowflakes were beginning to fall. Annie was shaking with cold.

She sat on the couch and watched as Bucky started a fire. Once he had it going, he pulled off his gloves and jacket before plopping down beside her.

"Thanks for today...It was a welcome change." She said.

"Don't mention it princess. I enjoyed it too." He replied, propping his feet up on the coffee table.

"So why do you want to go to the festival?" She asked.

Bucky shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it's just something to do...and I know you're bored staying around here."

She smiled. "You're going for me?"

Bucky shifted in his seat. "Of course we're going to have to wear masks so no one recognizes us."

He turned the television on to the first movie he came to. An old black and white.

"Oh this is such a good movie...Ingrid Bergman is slowly going insane because her husband is-well you'll just have to watch it..." She said, holding a pillow to her chest.

Bucky watched the movie to the very end. At some point in the movie, Annie had fallen asleep. Her head had fallen to the side, resting on his right arm. He attempted to move her, but the angle was too difficult to manage. He made himself comfortable and continued watching the next movie that was beginning.

OoOoOo

"Are you ever capable of saying what you want?" He asked.

"Are you?" She asked.

He looked her over then, taking in the raindrops that shimmered on her exposed shoulders and arms. She looked at him with a mix of sadness and anger that had become all too familiar. He closed the space between them with three large steps and cupped her face with his hands. "I want you." He pressed his lips to hers, and felt her lean into him, inviting him to deepen the kiss as she ran her hands through his hair, pulling him closer.

"It's you." He said breathlessly. "It's always been you."

Annie woke sometime in the middle of the night feeling too hot for comfort. She felt something heavy draped over her hip. Squinting in the dark, she bit her lip when she saw the glint of a metal arm in the moonlight.

She and Bucky had fallen asleep together on the couch. He was wedged between her and the back of the couch. Given the nature of her dream, the position was a bit too intimate.

As carefully as she could, she rolled off the couch, onto the floor. Without her to support him, Bucky rolled forward, snoring lightly.

Annie stepped out onto the back porch, grateful for the cool air. Her heart was still racing from the dream.

She walked to the edge of the patio, staring into the woods. She could just barely make out the reflection of the moon on the water of the pond down below. Snow had begun to accumulate on the trees and her failed garden. The large snowflakes landed and almost immediately melted on her arms. Inadvertently, she began to replay the dream. It had seemed so incredibly real. She couldn't deny that Bucky was handsome, but she hadn't really thought of him in a sexual manner. Until now.

"What are you doing?"

She jumped and spun around quickly. "Bucky-" Her train of thought derailed and she felt her cheeks grow hot.

He leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed. He'd removed the shirt he'd been wearing and the sweat on his skin glistened. "What?"

"Why is your shirt off?" She snapped.

"It's hot inside. Why are you standing out here at one in the morning in the snow?" He asked.

"I...needed to cool off. I didn't mean to wake you up." She said.

Bucky stepped aside as she entered the house. "You sure you're ok?"

"Yea. I'm..going to bed." She said, stepping around him.

"Annie-" he grabbed her by her waist, stopping her.

She stiffened as her chest barely touched his. "Are you sure you're ok?" He asked quietly.

Her brain struggled to find words as she watched his face slowly close the gap between them. He pressed his cheek against hers, nuzzling her neck.

"Yes..." The response came out as a breathy moan. The rough feeling of his unshaven face against her neck sent electric jolts throughout her body. His hands rested on her hips, gripping them tightly. "What are you doing?" She whispered.

"I don't really know..." He replied. His breath was hot against her ear. Carefully, with his metal arm, he pulled her long hair to the side, kissing her neck. She groaned in response, tilting her head to the side and sliding her arms around his neck. She could hear her heart drumming in her ears. "But I think this is something we both need.."

She raised her leg slightly and he grabbed it with the metal hand. Bucky lifted her by her thighs and she locked her legs around his waist as he backed her against the kitchen island.

Annie grabbed his face and hungrily sought out his lips in the darkness. She raised her hips, grinding into his. The feeling of him beneath her caused her to gasp. Bucky groaned loudly at the sensation and with a swipe of his arm, cleared the counter top of its contents. He laid her down on top and kissed her roughly.

She ground her hips against his again. He knew that she knew what she was doing. Grabbing a fist full of her hair, he pulled her head back, kissing his way down her jaw to her collar bone.

She ran her fingers over his chest and shoulders, dragging them sharply down his back. He thrust his hips against her, eliciting a moan from her. He leaned up slightly, dragging his metal fingers down her collar bone to her right breast. The looks on her face were mesmerizing. He thrust against her again and watched with growing lust as her eyes rolled slightly and she gasped.

'Oh my God...' Annie thought deliriously. Then reality reared its ugly head. "Oh my God." She repeated aloud. "Bucky...stop."

He looked up at her. "What's wrong?" He asked, breathing hard against her neck.

"Nothing's wrong..I just think...this is all happening too fast." She whispered.

Not wanting to make her feel pressured, he eased his weight off her and helped her into a sitting position, smiling. "Whatever you want, princess."

She felt suddenly shy. "Are you sure you're ok?"

He shrugged, brushing his hair out of his face. "If you want to wait, that's what we'll do. Some things are worth waiting for."

She made a whining noise. "Oh my God look at you! You have the body of a Greek god and the chivalry of a man raised in the 40s." She covered her face with her hands. "I'm such an idiot."

He pulled her hands away from her face. "Well, technically I was raised in the 30s...at least that's what I've read." He kissed her knuckles. "Whatever you want, sweetheart."

She sucked in her breath and blew it out quickly through puffed out cheeks. "What I want is a cold shower. And sleep." She slid off the table.

OoOoOo

It was still dark outside when the groaning began. Annie had just fallen into deep sleep. Her eyes shot open and she stared at the ceiling, unsure if she had dreamt it. Then she heard the shattering of glass.

Throwing the blankets off, she hurried to Bucky's room and froze. He stood with his back to her, wearing only a pair of black briefs. His body shook and his chest heaved with emotion. She could see his flesh arm was covered in blood that dripped from his fingertips.

The mirror of his dresser had been shattered, as had the bedside lamp and window.

Annie turned on the light. "Bucky are you alright?!"

He turned and immediately Annie knew she'd made a mistake.

"No no no...don't do this again!" She took a step back as he lunged for her, knocking her into the hallway.

He had a jagged piece of mirrored glass in his hand and he swung at her with every step.

With a scream, she managed to stumble into her room and slam the door, but his metallic arm burst right through it. He pushed the remnants of the door open, grabbing for her. He caught the collar of her shirt, ripping it as she struggled to get away.

"Я не буду спрашивать вас снова . Кто вас послал ?" He growled.

"Bucky wake up!" She screamed, pushing herself away from him. He reached for her but she slid underneath the bed. She tried to scurry to the other side but he grabbed her ankle and drug her out.

She rolled over just as his fist came down, shattering the floor board beside her head. He grabbed her shoulder, his metallic thumb pressing painfully into her collar bone.

"Bucky stop!" She kicked him in stomach, giving herself just enough time to get to her feet. She swung her fist at him, catching him in the jaw. The impact was more painful for her than him, but surprised him nonetheless.

She tried to run to her window, prepared to jump through but he caught her by her hair and pulled her backwards, pinning her against the wall. She began to scream as loud as she could manage. He struck her across the face, knocking her head in the opposite direction. The taste of blood draining down the back of her throat threatened to gag her.

His metallic hand went to her throat, cutting off her airway. She tried to pry his fingers loose, but it was no use. Her vision became blurred and her ears began to ring. With what little strength she had left, she jerked her palm in an upwards direction, catching him in the nose. He stumbled back only slightly, but it was enough for her to grab the porcelain vase from her dresser and crack it against his head.

He stumbled once more then fell backwards with a thud, unconscious.

Annie, sobbing and shaking, held her arms over her chest. She nudged Bucky with her foot, but he didn't move. There was a large gash in the right side of his head. A thin line of blood trickled from his nose where she'd hit him. His right hand and arm were cut and continued to bleed.

Annie jumped when he began to mumble in a different language. She grabbed the large glass shard that he'd been carrying and wedged herself between her dresser and the wall, sinking to the floor in exhaustion.

OoOoOo

Bucky groaned, as he opened his eyes. His head was pounding. He immediately realized that he wasn't in his room, and something was wrong. He rolled onto his side, wincing at the pin. Alarms went off in his head as he realized the room was in a disastrous state. The bed was turned on its side and glass was shattered all around the floor. He sat up quickly when he saw her sprawled on the floor.

His heart dropped and he scrambled over to her, lifting her into his arms. "Annie?" He pushed her hair out of her face. Her nose and lips were bloody and her left eye was a ghastly shade of purple and red. "C'mon baby, open your eyes for me..."

Her brow furrowed and she groaned, opening her right eye. When she was able to focus on Bucky's face, she sat up quickly. "Get away from me!" She cried, pushing herself away.

Bucky held his hands up. "Jesus Annie...let me see."

She held the piece of glass up, threatening, but it didn't stop him. He pushed her hair our of her face and winced. "God I'm so sorry." He whispered, turning her face gently.

"I can't do this anymore, Bucky..." She whispered.

His face twisted into a look of pain and he swallowed past the lump in his throat. "I know.."

She dropped the piece of glass and wrapped her arms around her knees. "You'll kill me next time..." She said.

"There won't be a next time." He said, voice cracking.

Annie stood up slowly, feeling dizzy from the fight. Bucky stood up quickly, ready to help her walk. She held her hand up. "I've got it."

Bucky stepped aside. "What are you doing?"

"We need to get your arm and head cleaned up." She said.

"I'm fine." He replied.

"Yeah sure, me too." She grabbed his metal hand and led him into the kitchen. "Sit." She said, forcing him into the seat. Bucky did as she asked, watching in guilty silence as she limped around, collecting various medical supplies.

She returned with the supplies. Soaking a towel with water, she began to wipe away the dried blood from the cuts on his arms and hand. The light overhead illuminated shards of glass. "Jesus Bucky...What did you do?" She mumbled, picking the pieces out with a pair of tweezers.

Once the wounds were clean of debris, she placed bandages over them. "This one on your arm looks pretty deep..." She pulled the wounds open slightly for a better view. "I'm going to have to stitch it."

A few minutes and several stiches later, she'd moved on from the arm and was now examining the cut on the side of his head. She sponged away dried blood and irrigated it with clean water before applying several butterfly strips to hold the edges together. "They'll have to do...Those sutures were all we had." She said.

She turned to walk away, but he reached out and grabbed her hand gently. "Let me see."

She sat down slowly, avoiding his gaze. He tucked her hair behind her ear. Each bruise on her skin was a painful testament to his instability. He took the saturated rag and began to carefully clean her face.

"I'm sorry Annie..." He said, cleaning the cut on her hand. "I want you to go stay with Edna and John for a few nights." He said.

"What good is it going to do?" She asked, watching her hand in his.

He sighed. "It'll keep you safe."

"And it will cause Edna and John to ask questions that we can't afford to answer." She said. "You don't need to be alone with this crap anyways." She met his gaze with teary eyes. "I just wish that I knew what was going on. I want to help you, but I don't know how." She replied.

Overcome with remorse, he pulled her into a tight embrace, pressing his forehead to hers. "I don't think anyone can." He whispered.