A Helping Hand

Monday rolled back around before anyone was ready for it, and the entire band were back in the studio together. The album was getting closer and closer to completion, and Mudrock knew it would only be another week or two before he could kick them out of the studio and continue arranging, mixing and mastering on his own.

The three guitarists were working in the kitchen today while Matt tracked more vocals with Mudrock and Johnny tracked his remaining bass lines with Andy. Jimmy was AWOL, but he had told them he would be able to come in later in the afternoon. No one even raised an eyebrow at the drummer’s actions.

“I can’t believe you are putting a song on this album that isn’t in drop D,” Indy said, staring down at the hand written chords before her. She started strumming very softly, her hands automatically forming the chord shapes without her having to think twice.

“You are so funny,” Brian replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes at her comment. A wide grin spread over Indy’s face at his reply. “I might put the electric in drop D, just to fuck with you.”

“I knew it couldn’t last long,” Indy commented. “Synyster Gates, king of the asshole tuning.”

“That is the most accurate thing I have heard all day,” Zacky piped in, laughing at the banter. Nearly all the songs on ‘Waking the Fallen’ were in one form of drop tuning or another.

“One day you will thank me,” Brian replied, waving the two off.

“In the meantime, I will leave the thanking to Zacky. I am just excited to play something in standard tuning, and on an acoustic!” Indy commented.

“You say that like we didn’t just record Strength of the World,” Brian said, making a good point.

“And you say that like it wasn’t in drop D anyway, like it wasn’t a week ago, and like you didn’t also make me play The Wicked End since then!” Indy retorted.

“I offered to record the Wicked harmonies for you,” Brian pointed out. Zacky sat back, watching the pair bicker.

“You only offered because you were bored. As soon as Mudrock asked you to start writing Seize you ran away as fast as you could!”

“I didn’t run.”

“It was close enough to running.”

“I knew that you would be able to record the parts easily.”

“You just couldn’t be bothered figuring the harmonies out again.”

“That’s not my job!”

They continued arguing over nothing, neither hearing the studio door open down the corridor, or notice the entry of Brian’s father. Zacky waved, silently greeting the newcomer and watching his reaction to the unfolding debate between Brian and Indy.

“It’s not your job? That is exactly your job! You are the lead guitarist, after all, I am just here to record, thank you,” Indy replied to Brian’s last statement.

“You know the routine now, I write, you figure out the rest. You are meant to be Zacky, rhythm guitarist. You are meant to do what he usually would,” Brian replied, pointing to Zacky as he spoke.

“Just because I did that for Betrayed, doesn’t mean I have to do that all the time,” Indy said.

“You set the precedence now,” Brian shrugged. “Now you have to live up to it.”

“You are such an a-” Indy’s last statement was cut off by Zacky clearing his throat loudly and pointing behind the pair to Brian Senior.

“I do not miss session work,” Brian Senior said, grinning widely. “I also don’t miss your arguments, Brian.”

“Just because I was always right,” Brian shot back, getting up from the table. He went over to his family, giving his father a quick hug.

“You wish. Don’t forget who taught you all you know,” Papa Gates replied. He was not surprised when Zacky rose to his feet and gave the older man a hug hello as well. “How’s the arm?”

“Not too bad, actually. Seeing the doc later this week to check,” Zacky replied, following in Brian’s steps. “Surprised to see you actually made it.”

“They are all comedians, now,” he said, rolling his eyes. Indy was the final hug hello, and he was surprised when she offered the embrace first. “I sincerely apologise for my son, and the other pseudo-sons of mine.”

“I will bill you for the therapy later,” Indy joked, stepping away with a smile on her face.

“Come now, children, show me through,” Papa Gates said, his arm on one of Brian’s shoulders and the other on Zacky’s. “This isn’t just a social call.”

Zacky caught Indy’s curious glance and waited for Brian and Papa Gates to walk ahead of them so he could chat with Indy. She was grateful that he could seemingly read her mind. It had been a very long time since she had clicked with someone on this level. She shook the thought from her mind.

“Brian invited his dad down to play something on the album,” Zacky told her, anticipating the question on her lips.

“I forgot he came from a musical family as well,” Indy replied putting it all together thanks to Zacky.

“His dad is crazy talented. Syn had a guitar in his hands from about 5 years old thanks to Papa Gates,” Zacky said, telling her a little of Brian’s past.

“Worked out well for you guys,” Indy noted, smiling at Zacky.

“Don’t let him hear you say that, his ego doesn’t need that boost,” Zacky replied, making Indy laugh.

“Like your ego needs it, either,” she challenged, making him laugh in return. She couldn’t help the smile that stayed on her lips as she watched his reaction.

Zacky continued to lightly chuckle, opening the door and letting Indy enter the main recording area ahead of him.

Matt was mid-take on the second chorus of Blinded in Chains as the group walked into the main studio. Showing his true professionalism, he didn’t stop the take but continued to sing in his signature gritty tone. Only once he got the ok from Mudrock that the take was done, he exited the booth to greet Papa Gates. Zacky and Indy sat around the table while the others greeted one another, the pair talking quietly to one another. It wasn’t too long before the hello’s had been made and everyone joined Indy and Zacky at the table.

“I can’t believe you are actually here to track,” Mudrock said to Papa Gates. He had been in the conversation between the two Brian’s the night of the family BBQ, and had heard the offer from Matt and Brian for Papa Gates to play a part on the album.

“I think it’s about damn time,” Papa Gates replied, a cheeky smile on his face. “I have been supporting these boys since the very beginning, so it’s about time I get something out of it.”

“Yeah, yeah, old man,” Brian said, rolling his eyes at his father’s words. “You’re welcome.”

“Is it always like this?” Indy quietly asked Zacky who had sat next to her.

“They are as bad as each other,” he replied, whispering in Indy’s ear. “The only time they aren’t is when they are arguing over who is right.”

“Oh, I know how that argument goes. I have had enough of them with him,” Indy said, making the both of them laugh.

“Hey, I heard that!” Brian scowled, pointing at the pair.

“And?” Zacky asked, pushing his bandmate’s buttons.

“And shut the fuck up,” he replied, flipping Zacky off and making Matt, Zacky and Indy laugh once more at his actions. He noticed Mudrock and his dad holding back a laugh at the actions of their children.

“I was told one day they would grow up,” Papa Gates joked to Mudrock.

“That is one of the biggest lies told to parents,” the producer replied, smiling along. He enjoyed when Brian Senior came to visit the studio, getting to spend time with someone around his age for once. A friendship grew between the pair during the recording of the last album when Brian would come in to listen to the progress of the band. It was always good having a pair of outside ears listen to a project as well, and he always valued the session guitarist’s advice.

“Hey, Papa Gates!” Johnny exclaimed as he came into the main studio from the bass room. Andy stayed behind, finalising the last take they recorded. “Good to see you.”

“Hey Johnny,” the elder man greeted, standing up from the table. “How’s tracking?”

“Great! We just finished Betrayed,” the bassist replied, letting the table know his progress.

“No one cares,” Brian said, fake coughing to cover the words. The comment made the others laugh, and Johnny punched Brian in the arm as retaliation.

“That means that we can track you guys in the bass room, right?” Mudrock said, realising that now the spare room was free once more, he could continue with Matt’s vocals as he was already warmed up, and the guitarists could disappear into the bass room and Andy can track for them.

“Can’t see why not. I’ve got as far as I can today,” Johnny told Mudrock.

“Perfect! Let Andy know what is happening, and you guys are good to go. Matt, we still need the bridge of Blinded recorded before lunch,” Mudrock dictated, moving his chair back and returning to the console.

As Brian and his father made their way to the bass tracking room, Matt had a quick word with Mudrock before joining Zacky and Indy at the table.

“Hey, Zack, you better head in and see if you like what they are creating in there,” Matt told him, pointing to the bass tracking room.

“I’m sure they can manage it,” Zacky replied, shrugging at the suggestion.

“You will have to be playing this stuff live, man. You should make sure they don’t go too crazy in there,” Matt said, taking a slightly more stern tone. “You’ve seen them jam before.”

“Syn knows when to reign it in when it comes time to actually record what they are playing,” Zacky retorted, raising an eyebrow in a silent question to the singer.

“Dude, just go babysit them,” Matt finally said, trying to get his ‘hidden’ meaning across. Zacky took the bait and sighed before getting up.

“I guess it’s not like I could be doing anything more productive,” he said, slowly walking towards the bass tracking room and joining the three currently occupying the space.

“Thank you,” Matt called out after him. With Zacky gone, his attention moved to Indy. She had been quiet the entire time, curious as to why Matt was so insistent that Zacky be in the recording room.

She looked at the singer standing in front of her, tilting her head to the side while his attention returned to her. He motioned down the hallway, indicating the entrance of the studio before moving towards the door himself. She assumed that he wanted her to follow him, and being the curious person she was, she took the bait.

They were silent as they made their way down the hall, passing by Johnny who was in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a sandwich in front of him. He paid no mind to their passing.

Once outside the studio, Matt walked towards the smoking area. Indy was cautious following him as she knew that he didn’t smoke while recording. Apparently he barely smoked at all anymore, only while heavily intoxicated. He took a seat at the table, sitting in the sunshine while Indy took a seat opposite in the shade. If she sat where Matt was, she would be already getting sunburnt.

Matt scratched his head, unsure how he was going to start saying what he needed to say to Indy. He had been thinking all weekend about the impending conversation, and as many times as he practiced his speech, it made it no easier when she was sitting in front of him looking confused.

He opened his mouth, trying to start, but words failed him. He sighed loudly and took his sunglasses off, laying them on the table between the pair. He rubbed his eyes, thoughts of uncertainty running through his head. Indy remained quiet, watching the emotions cross the singers face. Determination. Confusion. Resignation. Confusion. Worry.

“Matt,” she started, noticing his hands drop from his face and back into his lap. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied, smiling weakly at the woman. He had to man up, suck it up and say what he needed to.

“Are you sure? You look about as happy as you did on Friday when I hung out with you guys,” she told him, not believing his words. Though he had acted happy on her arrival at his house, she noticed that he was checking on her all night. No matter who she spoke to, what she said, or even when she was silent, she had caught his gaze multiple times with a conflicted look behind his eyes.

“I was happy you were there,” he said, stunned at the response from the guitarist. He had believed he had welcomed her graciously to his home once again.

“Look,” she said, sighing herself. She was unsure what was about to happen, but after spending 2 months with Avenged Sevenfold, she knew this was not the way Matt usually behaved. It was not the way he usually spoke to her. “Whatever it is you want to say, just say it. I hate seeing you this wound up.”

Her words did not help. With a final sigh, he finally got up the courage to say what he needed to.

“I just want to preface this by saying that we all really appreciate you, and how you have helped us,” he said. Indy was getting more and more confused by the second. “You have really done what no one thought was possible and you replicated Zacky. Your guitar work has literally saved this album.”

“There is no need to thank me, Matt. This is my job,” she told him. She bit her lip before speaking again. “What are you really trying to say?”

Matt was silent, trying once more to find the words he needed. He looked at Indy, noting the panic in her eyes.

“Zacky and I were talking on Friday, before everyone came over for the evening,” Matt said, finally getting to start what he had rehearsed. “He told me how much you were helping him, making sure he was feeling part of the record while he was stuck at home.”

“I just wanted to help him. I could see what an impact the lack of participation was making on his mental health. He just seemed to have these moments of pure happiness that spiralled quickly into depression,” she said, slightly interrupting Matt. “It was awful to see this huge smile on his face turn quickly into furrowed brows and brooding silence. Even before he hurt his arm again, it seemed that he would just let all the bad get on top of him, and even though he would show a smile on the outside, you could see he was hurting.”

Matt was silenced once more. Indy was speaking so honestly and he could almost sense pain in her voice and she recounted the last few weeks. He watched her intently as she continued speaking.

“On my way back home after dropping him back from the hospital, he just seemed so lost. I just wanted to make sure he was going to be ok,” she finished, unsure how to explain her actions.

“He said that you had been over nearly every night after we wrapped up at the studio,” Matt said, trying to lead her to give him more information. He thought back to the conversation he had with Zacky on Friday night, on the denial Zacky had that Indy would feel anything similar to what he was. There was doubt in Matt’s mind when the guitarist had said that, and it was being cemented now due to what Indy was admitting. He needed to have a different conversation with her to the one he had planned.

“Like I said, I just wanted to make sure he was ok,” she replied, a slight flush colouring her cheeks without her permission. She tried to stop the blush, unloading her thoughts onto Matt. “I think he is ok now. He’s back at the studio, so I won’t need to go over anymore.”

“Indy,” Matt said, his tone indicating that he knew there was something more she was holding back. The blush gave her away.

“I care for him, Matt,” she admitted, the flush getting hotter. “I care for you all. I have never felt so included before. You guys are so much more than a band, you are a family, and you have welcomed me so eagerly.”

Indy paused, holding back the words that were about to come out of her mouth. She leant back in her chair with a long sigh, breaking eye contact from Matt and looking at the bright blue sky.

“What’s wrong with caring, Indy?” He asked her, noticing the rapid change in her emotions. She started out so upbeat, and now she seemed resigned.

“Nothing,” she replied quietly, her attention still on the sky. She heard Matt’s chair move, and a second later he had moved to the seat to her right. Her attention stayed on the sky.

“Ok then,” Matt said, lowing his voice, “what is wrong with caring about Zacky?”

Indy was silent. She tried to figure out how she had got to this point in the conversation, how Matt had subtly torn her wall down.

“I swear to God, if this music thing doesn’t work out, you should open a psychiatrist’s office with Val,” Indy finally spoke, trying to lighten the mood. It had worked with Val when she got too close to something personal, perhaps it would work for a second time. “The pair of you would make a killing.”

“Indy,” Matt warned her, knowing she was trying to get off topic. He was so close to the truth, he could sense it. “Why are you scared of letting us in? Letting Zack in?”

Indy’s cheeks were now a bright shade of red, her blush admitting to Matt more than her words ever could.

“I’m not scared, Matt. I am just… trying to avoid the inevitable.” She replied after a pause. She couldn’t look at Matt, afraid the little that was left of her wall would crumble.

Matt, confused at her words, was unsure how to ask what was on the tip of his tongue. He had so many questions running through his mind he wanted to ask her, but the answer to just one would slow the thoughts. This was not the conversation he had anticipated on having with Indy. He wanted to protect Zacky, subtly hinting to Indy that she needed to give him some space while he was trying to overcome his feelings for her. Though he didn’t expect her to reciprocate the feelings, a bloom of hope for his bandmate flourished in his chest.

“You like him, don’t you?” He asked her, putting emphasis on the word ‘like’ to avoid her getting side-tracked. Almost instantly her attention went from the cloud passing by to Matt.

“Not like that,” she tried to deny lamely. Her blush was still roaring on her cheeks, betraying her words as much as her inflection did. Matt simply cocked his eyebrow.

“Indy,” he warned for a third time. He watched her shoulders slump in defeat.

“Yes, I do,” she admitted quietly, hoping that the world wouldn’t swallow her where she sat. Matt couldn’t help but smile at the response. “But please don’t say anything to anyone.”

“I won’t,” he promised, “but you should.”